LISTENING SKILLS

To gain information. To get feed back. To participate in anothers story. To hear of their experiences and insights. To be in control(information is power) To broaden our horizons(to learn) To create a relationship. To respect and value others.

Why dont we listen?

Hearing is by ears and listening is by mind. Impediments to listening: Filtering -gender,age,size,invasion of body space, foul language,lack of, education,hostility,timidity bad grammar,poor enunciation,body odor, poor table manners, rudeness,laziness etc. Imprecision -administrative aide to set up a computer spread sheet but added research data also. Inattention -vagabond mind,reasonsanxiety,boredom,variations in speed,other priorities.

Mismatching failures cut both ways,the speaker fails to match,the listener fails to grasp and responds inappropriately.It takes two to fail at a conversation.Age difference leads to vocabulary mismatches, different aims, conceptual differences. Inflexibility-when you listen, you dont talk. Other negative listening behaviours. Closes eyes Glazes at the wall or ceiling Glares at the speakers Clicks the pen up and down Uses cell phone Whispers

Listening techniques that work

Listen to body language and other non verbal cues . Listen precisely- avoid paraphrasing the message and seek instead to preserve and record the speakers exact words. It ensures accuracy, fosters civility, increases vocabulary,enhances retention,provides permanent records, focuses attention,helps follow structure, clarifies direction,enhances your professional stature.

Repeat let me repeat exactly what you said , this will help us serve you better, you seem to have said. Empathize- means identification with and understanding of anothers situation.You dont judge, advise, or instruct but reflect sympathetically. Focus on the feeling of the speaker.e.g..you seem so distressed, that must have upset you. Clarify clarification questions go beyond repetition. They seek expansion of the message heard. Please explain what does empowerment mean? This term productivity needs explanation.

Probe for additional information.please give me the details,what, who,where ,when. Listen Instructionally- responds to direct the discussion while validating the comment.e.g. thank you for raising the issue of empowerment There is communication even in silence - how to listen, when to listen.

POSITIVE IMPACT OF POSITIVE LISTENING

Accentuate the positives
How do you feel when someone really listens to you? Respected Cared for That youve gained rapport Rewarded Satisfied Sense of achievement Positive feelings: Increased productivity

Stronger working relationship

Better quality of work Greater customer satisfaction

Repeat business Easier and better problem solving Greater cooperation and team work Less stress

Listening is a powerful means of communication that can increase your effectiveness on the job.
THE THREE STAGES OF THE LISTENING PROCESS Stage one - receiving: you take in the speakers message through your senses, hearing and seeing. Stage two - processing: this activity takes place in your mind and involves analyzing, evaluating, and synthesizing. Great deal of concentration is needed. What does the speaker mean? Stage three - responding: the speaker sees and hears what the listener does. The speaker feels respected and understood by the listener, connection is made and productivity goes up.

DOS
Do concentrate on what the speaker is saying Maintain eye contact Smile and nod appropriately Concentrate on speakers main idea Dont antagonise the speaker Leave your emotions behind React to ideas not to persons Avoid hasty judgements Ask questions Avoid jumping to conclusions Recognise your own prejudice Give accurate feedback Listen more talk less

PITFALLS

Appearance and delivery Separating ideas from facts Interrupting Pretending Distraction Switching off Doing something else Sarcasm Dishonesty