CHALLENGES OF PARENTING

ESTRELLA D. BRIGOLE
DSWD Field Office XI Davao City

Family in the Philippine Society

Usually made up of husband, wife and children The basic unit of society Group of individuals related by blood, marriage or adoption. The primordial nursery of human relationship A haven where children find love, affection, support and security

Importance of Family
Source of security, belongingness, emotional and economic growth, Foundation for childs physical, social, emotional, and moral well-being.

Functions of the Family

Procreation the survival of the species depends on the ability of couples to reproduce. Physical and Emotional Needs in order that the family functions properly, its basic needs have to be adequately provided, such as food, clothing, shelter, affection and love. Socialization and Social Control a child right from the moment of birth, is taught behavior that is socially acceptable. This is done through examples or through teaching.

Functions of the Family

Maintenance of Family Morale and Motivation ensures task performance both within the family and other social groups. Production of Goods and Services Along with this in the development of competence of family having the ability to produce and use a variety of skills and alternative resources to meet the needs and requirements of the members of the family..

Parenting
Parenting is raising children that takes time, attention, patience, strength and love. A total caregiver caretaker, teacher, counselor, friend Parental skills are necessary to help you meet childrens basic needs physical, emotional and intellectual.

Parenting
Physical needs include good nutrition, rest, and exercise. Emotional needs include love, acceptance, security, guidance, order and praise to ensure wholesome home life. Intellectual needs include communication, stimulation, exploration, creativity and lots of opportunity to learn and master new skills.

Remember!!!
Each child is an individual with unique needs. Guide children to appropriate behavior and encourage consideration for others. Discipline with love Teach social skills like good manners, sharing, listening and respecting others. Encourage independence and exploration Talk to your children, take time to explain objectively and calmly.

PARENTAL ROLES
Parenting is a process that extends over time Fathering or mothering is not the same as parenting Emotional attachment is established as the parents become involved throughout their development cycle. Development of attachment starts as early as during pregnancy period where the parents becomes emotionally engrossed with their new born baby Psychological-emotional bonding is deepened with the child as the parents becomes involved with his childs growth and development
.

PARENTING STYLES
Permissive-Indulgent

Authoritative Authoritative-Democratic
Neglectful

PERMISSIVE-INDULGENT
Child manipulates Parents follow their desires Easily carried away with tears of the child Children usually becomes impulsive and aggressive, low in self reliance and achievement, quick to anger and domineering

AUTHORITATIVE
Domineering Words and rules must be followed without complaint Dont listen to children nor understand their feelings Obedience is of prime importance Child usually becomes fearful, moody, unhappy, passive, hostile, withdrawn and irritable.

AUTHORITATIVEDEMOCRATIC
Practice open communication with children Dont easily get mad at childrens misbehavior Try to find meaning and reasons in the acts and ways of children Listen to their opinions and feelings Discuss rules and conduct that should be observed inside the house Children usually becomes friendly, self-reliant, self-controlled, cooperative and achievementoriented.

NEGLECTFUL TYPE
Perceive children to be of secondary importance in your life Dont give so much care and concern to the children Entrust the needs and problems of children to themselves or to other members of the house Dont give much time and attention Have trained children to give time and attention to material things, career, friends, hobbies, vices and other interests.

THE RIGHT PARENTING STYLE??

There is no exact parenting style appropriate for every child. Your knowledge about your child and your kind of relationship with him/her can help you determine an appropriate parenting style. A combination of the different styles will balance the formation of your childs behavior. No two families are alike and no two parents raise their children in exactly the same way. The ultimate goal is to create a healthy, nurturing, supporting family and community environment in which children can achieve their full potential.

STRENGTHENING HUSBANDWIFE RELATIONSHIP THROUGH GENDER SENSITIVE PARTNERSHIP

ESTRELLA D. BRIGOLE DSWD Field Office XI Davao City

GENDER SENSITIVITY
Husband and wife should both be gender sensitive Each should be aware of each others skills and capabilities. They are not confined to the mindset of this is what husbands should do, or this should what the wives should do They should recognize and share the duties and responsibilities according to interest, ability, competence and time.

BASIC ASSUMPTIONS
This is not the war of the sexes

This is not anti-male

Both women and men are VICTIMS

But WOMEN are most disadvantaged

Both women and men have a stake in
the struggle for gender equality

HIStory and HERstory

History is generally a study of the past Written mostly by men, hence, a story about men Oral transfer of culture and beliefs embraced in the stories of the past Purpose: For us to understand the present Herstory is an attempt to reclaim womens space and role in shaping and reshaping the nation

SEX AND GENDER

GENDER - refers to the social differences between men and women that are learned, changeable over time and have wide variations within and between cultures. It is the differentiated social roles, behaviors, capacities and intellectual, emotional, and social characteristics attributed by a given culture to women and men.

GENDER
Refers to the social differences between men and women that are learned, changeable over time and have wide variations within and between cultures. It is the differentiated social roles, behaviors, capacities and intellectual, emotional, and social characteristics attributed by a given culture to women and men. Assigning status Cultural assignment Culturally constructed Constantly changing

SEX
Refers to biologically determined differences between men and women that are universal. It is used whenever reference is made to women and men as different physical categories. (e.g. statistical data are disaggregated by sex)

SEX vs. GENDER

What makes one male or female What makes one feminine or masculine

Biologically Socially determined determined Physical Culturally defined characteristics Constant across time Changes across time and culture Constant across cultures Learned behavior

MALE vs. FEMALE

Penis Vas deferens, scrotum, testicles Sperm cell Testosterone XY chromosome Vagina Ovary, uterus, ovum, fallopian tube Egg cell Progesterone, Estrogen XX chromosome

SOCIAL INSTITUTIONS THAT PROMOTE GENDERING

Family

Gendering starts at the time when the baby is born.

PROCESSES OF SOCIALIZATION
Manipulation the way babies or children are handled. Canalization people direct childrens attention to gender appropriate objects Verbal Appellation words that are used to tell children what they should be Activity Exposures - These ensure that children are familiarized with genderappropriate tasks.

SOCIAL INSTITUTIONS THAT PROMOTE GENDERING

Family gendering starts at the time when the baby is born Education the formal school system promotes and encourages the different gender roles between men and women. Religion Christianity was introduced which lead the way to patriarchal culture Media - the way men and women are portrayed by the media has encouraged gender stereotyping State even the government seems to reinforce biases Language the words we use also promote gender stereotyping

KEY LEARNING POINTS

Women are burdened with multiple duties and responsibilities once they become wife and a mother. Even the working wife is faced with care giving for the children and husband as well as management of the household.

KEY LEARNING POINTS

Our culture seems to dictate that the men take care of earning an income while the duties and responsibilities pertaining to the household and children are left to the women.

There is clearly an inequality of distribution of duties and responsibilities between the husband and wife.

EMPOWERMENT AND REAFFIRMATION OF PATERNAL ABILITIES

ERPAT

THE MALE FACTOR

Fathers special participation in the rearing of children contributes to the well-rounded development of their children. Research shows that extra love and attention they get from having a closely involved father as well as a close and loving mother provide/lead a child to develop social skills ahead of their schedule Father is usually the primary source of influence to children Fathers special participation contributes to the well rounded development of children Provides a model of manhood

THE FEMALE FACTOR

The softer side of the child is influenced by the mother There are things which children cannot share to their fathers biological development The emotional and psychological strength of the child is also dependent on how the mother involves herself with the child.

PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES
Affection, companionship and understanding Moral guidance, self-discipline and religious instructions Supervision, activities and recreation Inculcate positive values Stimulate interest in civic affairs Set a good example Provide adequate support

RESPONSIBILITIES OF CHILDREN
Lead an upright and virtuous life Love, respect, and obey parents and cooperate with them in the strengthening of the family Extend to their brothers and sisters their love, thoughtfulness, and helpfulness, and endeavor with them to keep the family harmonious and united Exert their utmost to develop their potentialities for service, particularly by undergoing a formal education suited to their abilities to become an asset to society.

Respect not only their elders but also the customs and traditions of our people, the memory of our heroes, the duly constituted authorities, the laws of our country and the principles and institutions of democracy.

ENHANCING RELATIONSHIPS
Understanding and accepting each others differences i.e. men are from Mars, women are from Venus (Brain Hemispheric Lateralization) Open communication and loving confrontation Trust, respect, and love Mutual affirmation giving positive remarks Sharing of roles or mutual cooperation Putting God at the center of relationship Focusing on the positives to help boost each others self-esteem Satisfying sexual relations Putting your family above everything else after God

HUSBAND AND WIFE RELATIONSHIP

Husbands Needs Trust Wifes Needs Care

Acceptance
Respect Admiration Approval

Understanding
Appreciation Devotion Validation

Encouragement

Reassurance

STRENGTHENING PARENTCHILD RELATIONSHIP

ESTRELLA D. BRIGOLE DSWD Field Office XI Davao City

BUILDING AND STRENGTHENING RELATIONSHIP WITH CHILDREN

Through knowledge of childs personality, behavior, attitude, interest, hopes and fears. Unconditional acceptance and respect of your childs uniqueness as a person. Communicate effectively by listening and understanding your childs feelings and thoughts. Practice empathetic listening by putting yourself in childs situation

BUILDING AND STRENGTHENING RELATIONSHIP WITH CHILDREN

Be alert and respond to childrens non-verbal messages like eye movement, gestures, facial expression, voice tone, physical appearance, etc. Put aside time for your children and play or spend time with them in their favorite toy or past time. Promote independence by giving freedom to explore the world appropriate for their age. Give opportunities for them to explore options in solving their problems.

LEARNING INSIGHTS
Parents need to know their children very well and children likewise need to know their parents.

Only through immersing and spending time together talking, going out, playing, working and solving problems and concerns can intimacy be enhanced between parents and children.

RESPONSIBILITIES OF CHILDREN
Strive to lead an upright and virtuous life

Love, respect and obey their parents and cooperate with them in strengthening of the family Extend to siblings love, thoughtfulness and helpfulness, and endeavor with them to keep the family harmonious and united. Exert utmost to develop potentials for service by undergoing a formal education suited to their abilities.

RESPONSIBILITIES OF CHILDREN
Participate actively in civic affairs and in the promotion of the general welfare Help in the observance of individual human rights, the strengthening of freedom, fostering of cooperation among nations , and the furtherance of world peace.

FAMILY SPIRITUALITY
The parents are the spiritual leader in the family Worship and pray together Bless your children Use biblical verses in teaching your children Husband love your wife, wife submit to your husband, and children obey your parents FOR THIS IS RIGHT

HELPFUL BIBLICAL VERSES

Matthew 12:34 For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh Matthew 12:36-37 But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words, thou shalt be justified, and by thy words, thou shalt be condemned