Professional Documents
Culture Documents
What is a family?
Family (Galvin): System with two or more interdependent people who have a common history and a present reality, and who expect to influence each other in the future.
Avoidance (Lose-Lose)
Avoidance: When people nonassertively ignore or stay away from conflict. Pessimistic attitude about conflict. Avoiders put up with the status quo. Leads to unsatisfying relationships. Avoidance can help when:
risk of speaking up is too great when the conflict isnt worth the effort when the issue is temporary
Spouses/Partners
Independents
Physically close; psychologically distant. Dont avoid conflict Low marital satisfaction/affection Individual freedom Conflict-avoidant Low marital satisfaction/affection Interdependence Avoid conflict High marital satisfaction, affection
Separates
Traditionals
Spouses/Partners
20% traditionals 18% separates 22% independents 40% mixed Traditional partners: Highest marital satisfaction; greater fulfillment of expression Mixed couples similar.
Spouses/Partners
Gender role
Feminine communication
High expressiveness, low instrumentality Instrumental, task-related topic; low in emotional content High in emotional and instrumental messages
Masculine communication
Androgynous communication
Undifferentiated communication
Spouses/Partners
Research
Study of 200 couples Gender-typed pairs: Lower level of satisfaction than androgynous pairs Lowest level of love and satisfaction: stereotypical feminine and masculine relationships
Parent/Child
Daily tasks in the household jump from 6 to 36 after childs birth. Patterns of interaction
Communication becomes more complicated with arrival of the first child. Three different dyads occur
Parent/Child
Hold me tight. Put me down. Leave me alone. Vacillates at different stages of growth.
Siblings
Communication strategies
Siblings
Sharing tasks Expressing positivity Offering assurances Talking about family, reminiscing about childhood Sharing stories all help clarify family events and validate feelings and life choices
Family members are interdependent A family is more than the sum of its parts Families have systems within the larger system Family systems are affected by their environment
Roles
Functional roles: who doe what within the family Social roles: harmonizer, problem solver, tension reliever, etc. Role expectations are conveyed through communication
Family Narratives
Narratives
Reaffirm familys identity by reinforcing shared goals Teach moral values Stress family concerns Reflect how members feel about each other Reflect how to operate in the world Dysfunctional families can be united by a shared narrative.
Experiences in our family of origin share the way we communicate throughout life. Research:
Levels of hostility and positive engagement at 14 linked with same 17 years later North America:
Culturally-based
Emotional support and loyalty comes from a limited number of people; children more self-reliant
Communication Rules
Families have many rules governing communication among members and with outsiders.
Who may speak or to whom How one speaks Topic of conversation Maintaining opennesscloseness dialect difficult in stepfamilies
Communication Rules
Conversation orientation
Degree to which families favor an open climate of discussion of a wide array of topics
High: Frequent, free interaction, spontaneous, without limitations. Low: Less exchange of private thoughts.
Conformity orientation
High: Seek harmony, conflict avoidance, interdependence, obedience; hierarchical; conflict is avoiding and obliging. Low: Individuality, interdependence, equality; individual growth encouraged.
Communication Rules
Communication reflects tension between pressure to agree and preserve the hierarchy and interest in open communication and exploration.
Enmeshed: Too much consensus, too little independence Disconnected, limited attachment/ commitment Physical Conversational Emotions Handling of topics Requires open negotiation; happen through trial and error
Disengaged
Creating boundaries
Define boundaries
Adaptability too high: Chaotic family Adaptability too low: Rigid family Avoidance of extremes dictates functionality Families function best with moderate levels
Telling children they are unique and valuable as human beings Genuinely listening to children when told something of importance
Disconfirming behaviors
Belittling children Making statements that communicate their ideas dont count
Adolescents who receive confirmation are more open communicators. Gottman: Couples should have an appropriate ratio of positiveto-negative messages (5:1).
Beware of destructive conflict: Physical or verbal aggression Family conflict should be dealt with Unresolved conflict creates tensions Key is how the conflict is dealt with:
Dont sweat the small stuff Focus on manageable issues Share appreciations and gripes Seek win-win solutions Positive conflict standards are good predictors of family satisfaction.
Research:
400 HR Managers:
Interpersonal/human relations at the top of the list. Communication skills ranked higher than GPA, specific degree held and technical skills. Public Forum Institute: Participants responded that soft skills, such as interpersonal relations, critical thinking, and problem solving, were more sought after in candidates than were hard skills, such as computer literacy, writing, and technical skills.
Networking: Process of deliberately meeting people and maintaining contacts to get career information, advice, and leads. Face to face or mediated i.e., Facebook, MySpace. Consider immediate and distant contacts Join networks of strangers to seek job leads through career networking or community.
Education and training most important? Initiative? Experience? Discover hidden goals Extra resumes Take notes Copies of past work References Advance research of the organization
Come prepared
Arrive 10-15 minutes early Consider clothing Research: First exchange can shape success or failure: First four minutes!
Greeting Informal conversation Establish common ground Think: General theme, then specifics. Come with brief stories, illustrations, examples that highlight your abilities and skills.
Beware of rattling on; employ turn-taking. Answers shouldnt run over a minute or two. First four minutes! Interviewer sets the emotional tone Tone doesnt fit? Job may not fit.
Come prepared to answer the interviewers questions. Come prepared to ask the interviewer questions
Interview the company as much as they are interviewing you. Good questions show youve done your homework, but avoid salary/ benefit questions.
Note of thanksbe one of the few! Express appreciation Identify specific information learned during the interview Show how what you learned makes you a good match for the job Confirm the next steps.
Formal communication: Interaction that follows officially established channels. Upward communication: Subordinates communicate with their bossessometimes in a way that distorts negative information and puts it in a positive light. What subordinates are doing Unsolved work problems Suggestions for improvement How subordinates are feeling
Horizontal communication: Occurs between people who dont have direct supervisor-subordinate relationships.
Informal communication: Friendships, shared personal or career interests, proximity. Informal messages supplement formal messages:
Virtual teams
Groups that operate electronically can communicate in ways that otherwise wouldnt be possible.
Relational skills as important as task-related skills Relational roles (Benne & Sheats)
Encouraging participation Harmonizing Relieving tension Evaluating the groups emotional climate Giving praise Listening thoughtfully to the concerns of others Orientation: harmony/politeness Conflict Emergence: members enthusiastically or reluctantly accept teams decision. Reinforcement
Group Cultures
Organizational cultures
Relatively stable, shared rules about how to behave and set of values about what is important The way things are around here. Sociability Distribution of power Tolerance for new ideas Ways of managing conflict Emotional support
Dimensions of communication
Designated leader
Every member of a working team has at least one resource of power that affects the group.
Expert power: Designated leaders arent always the best or only experts. Reward power: Members can bestow their own rewards. Coercive power: Anyone can punish. Referent power: Influence that comes from members mutual liking and respect.