THE IMAGE OF A PASTOR

Tips on Ministerial Ethics and ABC s of Image

For the lips of a priest ought

to preserve knowledge, and from his mouth men should seek instruction - because he is the messenger of God.
- Malachi 2:7

Appearance. Behavior. Communications.

You may have

you can

not get them across,

great ideas but if

it wont get you anywhere. -Lee Iacocca

Mastery of anything takes 10,000 hours.

Malcolm Gladwell

You need deliberate practice, intensive feedback in a mentor-filled environment

1 hour per day you need 27 years, 4 months and 25 days 2 hours per day you need 13 years, 8 months and 15 days 3 hours per day you need 9 years, 1 month, 18 days and 1 hour 4 hours per day you need 6 years, 10 months and 10 days 5 hours per day you need 5 years, 5 months, and 25 days 6 hours per day you need 4 years, 6 months, 26 days and 4 hours 7 hours per day you need 3 years, 11 months, 3 days, 4 hours 8 hours per day you need 3 years, 5 months, 5 days 9 hours per day you need 3 years, 16 days and 1 hour 10 hours per day you need 2 years and 9 months 11 hours per day you need 2 years and 5 months 12 hours per day you need 2 years, 3 months, 13 days and 4 hours 13 hours per day you need years, 1 month, 9 days and 3 hours 14 hours per day you need 1 year, 19 days and 4 hours

We all want this

Respect.

Restraint.

Responsibility.

CIVILITY French word civilit - which is closely related to politeness.

THE IMAGE AND CIVILITY MODEL

Image: Appearance Behavior Communications

APPEARANCE
1.Grooming 2.Wardrobe 3.Color Analysis

BEHAVIOR
1.Body Image 2.Etiquette 3.Leadership 4.Protocol 5.Self Esteem

COMMUNICATIONS
1. Coaching / Training 2. Media 3. Negotiation

Ethical & Considerate Conduct Smooth & Harmonious Relationships Positive Image and Brand

Be Respectful Use Restraint Act Responsibly

Science prove that the more you smile, the more positive reactions others will give you. The most remarkable thing about a smile. When you give it to someone it causes them to reciprocate by returning the smile.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself.
-Matthew 28:37

Love Leaders Excellent Leaders but intimidating

Leaders with no followers Leaders with little followers

 In order to gain respect of others we should earn it we should be respectable in order to be a role model one should set a positive example in order to lead others, we must lead ourselves.
-Dennis Waitley, Empires of the Mind

BEHAVIOR
One of Three Basic Attitudes is subconsciously transmitted: 1. DOMINANCE - He is trying to dominate me, I d better be conscious. 2. SUBMISSION - I can dominate this person. He ll do what I want. 3. EQUALITY - I feel comfortable with this person.

BEHAVIOR

Working in an unhappy environment is detrimental to your health.

Research on Civility
80% believe that lack of respect is a serious problem (Remington and Darden 2002) 27% discouraged others from taking jobs done.

The Magic of

UNCIVIL MODEL

Shaming

Hostility

Team Sabotage

SHAMING
Humiliation Sarcasm Mistake Pointing

HOSTILITY
Passive Aggression Territorial Behavior Distrust of other s opinion Difficulty of Feedback Clueless of own toxicity

TEAM SABOTAGE
Teamwork meddling Authority to punish

how do people in the church can create a culture of honor?

COMMUNICATIONS
- Relationships , and communications are at the core of civility. And it is through training, coaching, education and motivation that we learn how to apply the tools of civility in everyday life. - Training on organizing your thoughts and how to use transition statements in

Ethics, according to Webster, is the "science that treats the principles of human morality and duty." Being ethical is "following the standards of a profession." Thus ministerial ethics demand that God's servants follow standards of morality and duty as taught in the Scriptures. -Minister Virgil Brown

GENERAL ETHICS FOR MINISTERS/PASTORS RULE OF THUMB: THE GOLDEN RULE

1. When visiting another church, take a seat with the other congregation. 2. Never walk upon a pastor's pulpit without being invited. 3. Never walk into another church with your robe cross your arm if you are not schedule to speak.

4.

If you are asked to read the scripture or to pray, do just that and take your seat. No pretalks or comments, just what is asked. 5. Never speak dishonorably about a fellow minister, especially publicly or to another sheep.

6. Always assume that if a sheep speaks badly about a pastor or former pastor, they will eventually do so about you. So never agree with their criticism of another man of God.

ETHICS FOR GUEST SPEAKERS RULE OF THUMB: NO SURPRISES and SUBMISSION TO LOCAL SPIRITUAL AUTHORITY

1.Don t put out a mailing list sign up sheet without the host pastor's permission.

2.Don't assume it's all right to put out a book table. Ask permission of the host pastor. If you want to advertise your books from the pulpit before or after speaking, ask the host pastor if that's all right with him.

3. Never share one-on-one with a member of the church you are visiting the financial needs of your own ministry.

4.Don't share with the church congregation while you are speaking, a project of your own ministry for which you need financial support, without first clearing it with the host pastor in advance before speaking.

5. Never demand a certain guaranteed amount of love offering. Do it by faith, or don't do it at all.
.

6. Never, never, never push, or rock, or shove a person backward to make them fall out "under the Spirit." Hype and pretense are fleshly. Gently lay hands on God's people.

7. Never spot the rich ones in a congregation and then flatter them as a pretense for a good offering, or go behind the pastor's back to recruit them as a financial supporter.

9. Always let the host pastor know up front that you are his servant and his guest. That you are submitted to his spiritual authority over that flock; that you are open to his critique.

10. Never challenge a teaching, or emphasis, or specialized doctrine that you know the host pastor is trying to train his people in. Don't create confusion. If there is a certain teaching of the host pastor that you disagree with or don't understand, you can exchange differing views in private.

11. In everything you say and

do, always project an attitude that promotes the people's respect, submission, obedience, and cooperation toward their senior pastor and his staff. Always confirm God's leaders to God's people. (Heb 13:17)

12.Always be prompt, never be late to your meeting. Preferably, 30 minutes early. 13.Never purposely steal another pastor s sheep.

HOW TO HANDLE AN ARGUMENT

1.Personal Need 2.Practical Need 3.Need to Complain

Dont have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels .
- 2 Timothy 2:23

The Lords servant must not quarrel ; instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
- 2 Timothy 2:24

Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth.
- 2 Timothy 2:24

You may have

great ideas

but if you can not get them across,

it wont get you anywhere.

-Lee Iacocca

Meeting their Need to Complain

1. Make them feel that you are willing to listen to the complaint. 2. Be patient and act like a counselor. 3. Don t argue or insult. 4. Move them from the blame phase of the call to the solution phase. 5. Disappointed or frustrated people have this need.

Verbal Judo
Tell them what they want to hear.


That their complaint is valid and they have the right to be upset.

Tell them what they need to hear

 

That there is a solution to their concern.

Make them feel important.

Thank them for bringing the matter to your attention for action.

Make your suggestion.



Specify the action to be taken in the form of a request or a suggestion.

Meeting Need to Complain

1. Acknowledge the Complain 2. LISTEN, Find out what they need. 3. EMPHATIZE, Accurately affirm or identify the emotion the person is feeling. 4. APOLOGIZE by thanking them for bringing the matter to your attention or by apologizing for the inconvenience that they have gone through. 5. DO something about their concern. 6. Verify Satisfaction.

Organizing your thoughts

STORY


Made up of your personal experience for maximized credibility. 1:50 minutes long. Fill with details.

MESSAGE  Made up of what you want your listener to do. 3-5 seconds and one sentence long. GAIN  Made up of how your listener will benefit from following your advice. 3-5 seconds and one sentence long.

Organizing your thoughts

PAST
 Established facts builds agreement.

PRESENT  Observable facts still build agreement. FUTURE  Point of view is expressed here in the form of a request. A soft sell.

Organizing your thoughts



REASON  An explanation of why you made that stand. EXAMPLE  Specific evidence used to defend that view. POSITION  A restatement of the stand taken on the issue. Must be said with the same words as the first position.

a definition of where you stand on an issue.

POSITION

Organizing your thoughts

REQUEST  Segment where you can define the behavior you want from your listeners. OPTIONS  A presentation of at least two options with their attendant pros and cons. BEST OPTION  An endorsement of the best win-win idea EXPLAIN  A brief explanation of the benefits to all concerned.


Express appreciation to your listener.

PRAISE