SPEAKING HONESTLY, DIRECTLY,

& RESPECTFULLY
 When someone hurt you in the past,
what did you do?

Did not do anything, but feel bad Did something to get back at
the
person
 Aggressive Communication
Verbal Non - Verbal
• Yells • Glares
• Threatens • Use aggressive hands gestures
• Give orders • Face looks angry
• Asks questions to pressure • Stomps Foot
• Uses the word “I” often • Bangs fist on table
because of self centered focus
• Calls people “ mean”
names
 Consequences on Relationships

• Builds resentment
• Shows lack of respect
• Shows lack of cooperation
• Loses confidence
• Customer would go to a
competitor
• The boss might fire you
 Passive Communication
When someone

• Does not stand

up for herself
• Feels he is
inferior or unimportant
• Does nothing
when she feels
badly
 Passive Communication
Verbal Non-verbal

• Don’t say exactly what • Speaks softly or

they want mumbles
• Apologizes for self • Eyes looks down or
• Does not give opinions looks away
• Does not disagree • Makes nervous
• Gives in easily gestures with hands
 Consequences on relationships

• Makes it difficult to build a good

relationship
• Shows lack of respect for self and/or
the other person
• Makes it difficult to do business
 Assertive Communication

Expressing opinions in a direct,

honest and respectful
manner.
 Assertive Communication
Verbal Non-verbal
• Gives opinions without • Listen as well as talks
forcing people to • Maintains comfortable
accept them eye contact as
• Uses a calm voice culturally appropriate
• Asks questions to • Justifies ideas with facts
understand
 Consequences on relationships

• Builds a positive relationship

• Make others more respectful
• Shows a boss you can communicate with
co-workers
• Promotes respect for self and others
• Builds teamwork and cooperation
 3- part Assertive Statement

When you___________(describe what the

person did).
It is bothersome because________ (I tell
why).
I wish you would ___________(tell what to
do instead)________.
 FIND A PARTNER

Your friend borrowed money from

you. He promised to pay you in one
week. However, it has been one
month that he has not paid you.
 Assertive Statement
When you Borrow money and don’t return
it ( describe what the person did).
It is disturbing because i need money for
food and other things.____ ( I tell why).
I wish you would return it to me by the end
of the week (tell what do instead)________.
 You find out that one of your friends at the
sports camp has been spreading a negative
rumor about your family. You feel angry that
people are saying bad things about your
family, and you feel betrayed by your
friend’s behavior.
 Assertive Statement
• When you say things that aren’t true
about my family.
• It is bothersome because people
believe the lies they hear, and it
would give me a bad reputation at work.
• I wish you would stop spreading rumors
about my family.
 FIND A PARTNER

You have told your friend that you

like filing documents for your
supervisor and you would like to do
more filing. Later, you see same friend
doing some filing for your supervisor.
2- part appreciating statement

When you (describe what the person did)

I appreciate it because (say why).
 Remember!

“ In communication, it is
not just what you say, but
how you say it.’’
 ASSIGNMENT:
Create a display with the
three parts of an assertive
statement that you can post
in your bedroom.