Ending Bullying: Its Our Call

It is the call of our baptismal covenant to

respect the dignity of every human being, so
in preventing and intervening in bullying we
are fulfilling our sacramental promise to
God and to each other.
 Voices
“Kids get harassed for all kinds of reasons.
They’re too fat. They’re too thin. They’re
too tall. They are too smart. They’re too
dumb. Gays and lesbians are picked on.”
—home economics teacher at ashland high
“Mrs. Podlesny said
that ‘boys will be
boys,’ and that if
Jamie was going to
act so openly gay he had to expect
this stuff to happen to him.”
—mother of a bullied child
 What Is Bullying?

Bullying happens when someone is subjected to negative

actions from one or more people and has a hard time
defending himself or herself.
Bullying takes various forms, including:

• Teasing, taunting or verbal abuse

• Punching, shoving and physical acts
• Spreading rumors
• Excluding someone from a group
• Ganging up on others

In your own words, how would you define bullying?

 Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is when bullies use the Internet,
mobile phones or other electronic devices.
It can include:
• Sending mean text, e-mail or instant messages
• Posting damaging pictures or hurtful messages in
blogs or on Web sites
• Spreading rumors or lies about someone,
sometimes using a fake identity
Adapted from the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services
(www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov) and Psychology Today
 Bystanders
“I’ve often wondered about the kids who watched [the
bullying] happen—why they didn’t say anything, how
they felt about what was going on?”
—t. c. largaespada social worker at a youth shelter

A bystander is a person who sees unacceptable behavior

but does nothing to stop it.
What do you think prevents bystanders
from taking action?
 A Rite of Passage ?
• Bullying used to be considered a rite of passage by many,
something harmless that may even serve to toughen young
people and prepare them for life after school.
Research has led to a very different understanding
• Bullying can negatively affect children's performance at
school, harm their mental well-being, and have a lasting
impact on their education and life.
• Recent media coverage has helped
raise awareness about the need to do
more to address bullying, and the
tragic consequences of bullying
left unchecked.
 Bullying: True or False?
1. Nearly one-third of American teens are involved in bullying.
2. Less than 10% of American teens admit to bullying others.
3. Students who are bullied in school are usually attentive students with good
attendance.
4. Most students who bully are insecure.
5. Contrary to stereotypes, male bullies are not usually bigger and physically
stronger than their peers
6. Students who witness bullying often refuse to remain friends with the
victim and feel guilty for not reporting the
incident.
7. Bullies have trouble making friends.
8. Bullies do poorly in school compared to others who do not bully.
9. Most bullies discontinue violent or aggressive behavior in adulthood.
10. If you are being bullied it’s best to handle it alone.
 Bullying By the Numbers
• 160,000—Estimated number of U.S. students who skip
• school daily to avoid being bullied
• 32%—Students who report being bullied at school during
• the school year
• 86%—Gay or lesbian students who report being bullied
• 70%—Teachers surveyed who say that educators “almost
• always” intervene when bullying occurs
• 35%—9th graders who believe their teachers are interested
• in trying to stop bullying
• 66%—Bullying victims who believe school professionals
• responded poorly to the bullying they observed
• 10–20%—Bystanders who provide any real help
 What Can be Done?

While addressing bullying may seem like a

daunting task, there are simple steps we can all
take to help end name-calling and bullying ,
making a safer environment for our children.
 Name the Problem

Naming the problem is crucial in creating an effective

anti-bullying policy.
• The most effective policies define bullying and specifically
enumerate characteristics most often targeted, such as a student's
perceived or actual appearance, gender, sexual orientation, gender
expressions, race/ethnicity, economic status, ability, religion, or any
other distinguishing characteristic.
• Policies should also require reporting of bullying, and staff should
be trained on how to intervene, particularly with bias-based
bullying, and support students who are being bullied or who are
bullying others.
 The Role of the School or Church
Bullying in schools (or any organization entrusted with the care
of children) must be handled head-on, directly, and without
hesitation from staff. We all hear the remarks made by students,
we see the shoving, pushing, and tripping, and we know why the
students sitting by themselves are crying.

But how many times do these

things lead us to action?

What we all can do

 The Role of Parents and Guardians

Some possible warning signs that a child

is being bullied:
• Has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches
• Has few, if any, friends with whom he or she
spends time
• Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and
from school, riding the school bus, or taking part
in organized activities with peers (such as clubs)
• Takes a long, "illogical" route when walking to or
from school or another destination.
 What to do if you think a child is
being bullied
• Never tell the child to ignore the bullying.
• Don't blame the child.
• Listen carefully to what the child is telling you.
• Learn as much as you can about the bullying
tactics being used.
• Sympathize with the child.
• Do NOT encourage physical retaliation.
• Check your own emotions.
 When you report bullying
• Keep your emotions in check. Give factual information about
your child's experiences, including who, what, when, where,
and how.
• Emphasize that you want to work with the organization to find
a solution.
• Do not contact the parents of the other child.
• Expect the bullying to stop. Be persistent - talk with your child
and the organization to see if the bullying
has stopped.
• Keep a record of your conversations.
The Role of Youth – Be Your Own Advocate

If you are being called names or bullied,

remember the four ways to stay SAFE:

• Say what you feel

• Ask for help
• Find a friend
• Exit the area
 One Case: Jamie Nabozny
In 1995, 19-year-old Jamie Nabozny sued the school district and administrators from his middle
school and high school. Nabozny based his suit on the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution,
which provides for equal protection.
• October 1995
A district court dismisses Jamie’s case. Jamie appeals.
• July 1996
The Seventh Circuit reverses the lower court’s dismissal. The court held that Jamie presented a viable claim
that the defendants had violated his right to equal protection “by discriminating against him based on his
gender or sexual orientation.” The idea behind this holding was that the defendants would have protected
Jamie from harassment from other boys had he been a girl or had he not been gay. The court also held that the
defendants were not immune from liability because a reasonable person in their position “would have
concluded that discrimination against Nabozny based on his sexual orientation was unconstitutional.”
• November 1996
Based on this appeal, Nabozny and his lawyers return to a lower court and present their case to a jury. The jury
returned a verdict against school officials. The school district settled the lawsuit for $900,000.

This landmark case was the first successful legal challenge

to anti-gay violence in public schools.
 Anti-Bullying Resources:
• US Department of Justice and Department of
Education websites, www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov
• Teaching Tolerance has a number of other resources
available as free down-loads from its website,
www.teachingtolerance.org. All materials are grade-
level specific and appropriate for church use.
• The Pacer Center, www.pacer.org, and Lutherans
Concerned, www.lcna.org, curricula offer a step-by-
step process for addressing bullying. Each one
encourages appropriate preparation for the teaching
team and offers excellent activities and discussion
points for moving through the facts of bullying.