CONSENT

CONSENT

 Consent – people don’t understand it.

 Consent – people may understand it, but what are we really

consenting to?

 Consent – people understand it, but they ignore it.

 HISTORY OF CONSENT IN THE U.S.
 Marital rape
 Wasn’t until 1993 that marital rape was made illegal in every single state
 Late 1970s was first time people in U.S. convicted of marital rape
 Married women = Husband’s property

 Post-penetration rape
 Until 2008, there was a law in Maryland that stated a woman could not revoke consent if she had already
been penetrated (saying NO once they had already started intercourse)
 In 2010, North Carolina used a woman’s initial consent as reason to acquit rape perpetrator
 No one is “owed” sex/consent to sex
 Feminists say making consent irrevocable is a violation of human rights
 These laws reinforced myth of “The Unstoppable Male”
 COLLEGE STUDENTS DIVIDED OVER CONSENT

 What if someone undresses? Or gets a condom? Or nods in agreement?

 In each of those scenarios, a Washington Post-Kaiser Family Foundation poll found, at least 40 percent
of current and recent college students said the action established consent for more sexual activity. And
at least 40 percent said it did not.

 Among women
 38 percent said it establishes consent for more sexual activity if someone gets a condom
 44 percent said the same is true if someone takes off his or her own clothes
 51 percent said a nod of agreement signals consent.

 Women were much less likely than men to infer consent from sexual foreplay
COLLEGE STUDENTS DIVIDED OVER CONSENT
 So, a majority of those female college students (51%) said a nod was consent.
 A nod is non-verbal

 Is non-verbal consent ok? Y or N

 Or must you receive a clear and definitive yes?

 When is non-verbal consent ok?

 When is it not ok?
 CONVERSATIONS OF CONSENT: SEXUAL INTIMACY WITHOUT
SEXUAL ASSAULT

 To us, consent is the continual process of explicit and verbal discussion, a

dialog, brief or extended, taken one step at a time, to an expressed “yes”
by both parties and a shared acknowledgment that at this moment what
we are doing together is safely comfortable to each of us. Consent is what
establishes that the interaction (including sex) is between equals in power. We feel
safe enough to say anything we need to without incapacitation of either party,
coercion or threat, implied or actual to attempt to protect ourselves from violation.
Each party is autonomous at each moment and can change their minds at any time.
We share control of the situation with each other. Our responsibility is to be as
sure as possible that what we are doing is not felt as violation.
AFFIRMATIVE CONSENT

 “Affirmative consent is a knowing, voluntary, and mutual decision among

all participants to engage in sexual activity. Consent can be given by
words or actions, as long as those words or actions create clear
permission regarding willingness to engage in the sexual activity. Silence
or lack of resistance, in and of itself, does not demonstrate consent. The
definition of consent does not vary based upon a participant's sex, sexual
orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.”

 Some states have affirmative consent laws on the books

 Florida?
AFFIRMATIVE CONSENT

 Affirmative consent laws by state

 http://affirmativeconsent.com/affirmative-consent-laws-state-by-state/

 2 minute consent demo

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laMtr-rUEmY

 NYU students describe affirmative consent

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBFCeGDVAdQ
CONSENT APPS

 LegalFling
 SaSie (Say yes?)
 Good2go

 In what ways are these helpful? Harmful?

 JACLYN FRIEDMAN CONSENT EDUCATOR ARTICLE:
WHAT ARE WE CONSENTING TO?

 When I speak at schools, I always ask young people if the clitoris was included in
their anatomy diagrams, because it’s a quick test of whether sexual pleasure —
especially female sexual pleasure — is part of the sex ed conversation. (It almost
never is.)
 The most damaging thing that happens when we leave pleasure out of sex ed is
that we allow girls to go on thinking that sex is something that’s not really for or
about them. Boys learn not to worry about girls’ pleasure, and when girls and
women have sexual encounters that don’t feel good — whether they’re just
unsatisfying or actively abusive — they’re primed to accept that’s just how sex is.
WHAT ARE WE CONSENTING TO?

 This article talks about how women are trained to believe sex will likely be either painful,
uncomfortable, or maybe not even pleasurable/supposed to be pleasant for them

 So that technically women may consent to sex, but if it is often actually hurting them, or if they are not
experiencing pleasure, are they just consenting to give men an orgasm?

 What are we consenting to?

 http://theweek.com/articles/749978/female-price-male-pleasure
WHAT ARE WE CONSENTING TO?

 Can you consent but still be uncomfortable/unhappy?

 "When it comes to 'good sex,' women often mean without pain, men
often mean they had orgasms.“
 Debby Herbenick, a professor at the Indiana University School of
Public Health, and author of National Survey of Sexual Health and
Behavior
WHAT ARE WE CONSENTING TO?
 J Sex Med. 2015
 30% women experience pain during sex and most don’t tell partner

 Sept 2017 Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy:

 Only 18% heterosexual women orgasm from vaginal penetration

 Planned Parenthood (2010)

 Only 20% women can orgasm from vaginal sex

 Elisabeth Lloyd “The Case of the Female Orgasm” (2009)

 Only 25% women consistently orgasm from vaginal sex

 Other studies have found 10-15% women never orgasm at all

 95% men engaging in heterosexual sex orgasm

 40% women suffer from female sexual dysfunction (NIH)

 Lack of interest/desire most common
 JACLYN FRIEDMAN CONSENT EDUCATOR ARTICLE:
WHEN CONSENT IS IGNORED

 We’re each responsible for making sure our sex partners are actually
into whatever is happening between us. Since decent human beings only
want to have sex with people who are into it, this shouldn’t be a hard
sell. But if you’ve been raised to think of sex as a battle of the sexes, or a
business deal in which men “get some” and women either “give it up” or
“save it” for marriage, it can still be a jarring idea”
 Ties back to systems that reinforce and reward sexual coercion
 Aziz Ansari
THE ACT OF IGNORING CONSENT IS DIRECTLY RELATED TO
RAPE CULTURE
LGBTQ AND KINK/BDSM COMMUNITIES

 Heterosexual & “vanilla” people need better consent models

 Non verbal communication insufficient and can be ignored
 Researchers found that despite conversations about affirmative consent, college students’ negotiation of
consent was not often explicit verbal communication
 “We can talk about ‘yes means yes’ and ‘no means no.’ That sounds great. That’s convenient for lawyers. But in live
experiences, it’s complicated.”
 Research shows socialization and early learning around sexuality makes affirmative consent difficult.

 “In general, people who are outside of the mainstream in some way, they have to sort of forge their own rules and
become more conscious of things”
 People who identify as LGBTQ (and their sexuality) have been discriminated against. One way to cope with this discrimination
was developing elaborate and nuanced ways to check on another person’s possible sexual interest
ST. THOMAS

 The University views “intelligent, knowing, and voluntary consent” as both a state of mind and an act, i.e., the act
of clearly communicating one’s willingness through words or conduct. Consent has many boundaries. It may be
withdrawn at any time, including any time during a particular sexual activity, and cannot be inferred from the mere
absence of an objection. Consent to particular sexual activities does not represent consent to other sexual
activities, and past consent to particular sexual activities does not constitute an ongoing consent to those
activities. An expression of agreement to engage in a sexual activity that has been obtained by force or threat or
based on fear does not represent consent. Consent cannot be obtained from someone who is unconscious, a
minor, or whose judgment is impaired through alcohol, drugs, or some other condition, nor is impaired judgment
an excuse for the failure to obtain consent from another.
FIU

 Consent is defined as an affirmative act or statement by each person that is informed, freely given and mutually
understood. It is the responsibility of each person involved in any sexual activity to ensure that he or she has the
affirmative consent of the other or others to engage in the sexual activity. Consent must be ongoing throughout a
sexual activity and can be revoked at any time.
 Consent means informed, freely given agreement, communicated by clearly understandable words or actions, to
participate in each form of sexual activity. Consent cannot be inferred from silence, passivity, or lack of active
resistance. A current or previous dating or sexual relationship is not sufficient to constitute consent, and consent
to one form of sexual activity does not imply consent to other forms of sexual activity. By definition, there is no
consent when there is a threat of force or violence or any other form of coercion or intimidation, physical or
psychological. A person who is the object of sexual aggression is not required to physically or otherwise resist the
aggressor; the lack of informed, freely given consent to sexual contact constitutes sexual misconduct. Intoxication
is not an excuse for failure to obtain consent. A person incapacitated by alcohol or drug consumption, or who is
unconscious or asleep or otherwise physically impaired, is incapable of giving consent.
UF

 Consent is defined as: “intelligent and knowing permission.” Consent is NOT: failure to physically resist forced or
coerced submission temporary inability to make decisions due to intoxication or drug use being unconscious,
asleep, or physically unable to communicate non-consent

 It is the responsibility of the person initiating sexual activity to make sure the other person is capable of
consenting to that activity. Consent is given by an affirmative verbal response or acts that are unmistakable in
their meaning. Consent to one form of sexual activity does not mean consent is given to another type of activity.
FSU

 Consent: Consent to sexual activity must be: knowing, intelligent, unambiguous, and voluntary. Consent is active,
not passive. This means there must be clear and willing participation, through words or actions, for each sexual
act. Submission to sexual activity that is the result of force, coercion, or threats is not valid consent. i. Consent to
one type of sexual activity does not imply consent to other types of sexual contact. There must be consent at
every stage of the sexual encounter. ii. Past consent to sexual activity does not imply consent to future sexual
activity. iii. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, including in the middle of a sexual encounter, if the withdrawal
of consent is clearly indicated by words or actions. Individuals who are incapacitated by voluntary or involuntary
alcohol or drug use (legal, illegal, or prescription); asleep; unconscious; mentally impaired by disease or illness; or
under 18 years old cannot give consent to sex (no matter what they say or do). If there is any question regarding
whether a person may be incapacitated, do not engage in any type of sexual activity with that person.
UM

 Consent cannot be given: • By a complainant who the respondent knew or should have known was under 18 years of age; or • By a
complainant who the respondent knew or should have known had a temporary or permanent disability making them unable to consent;
or • By a complainant who the respondent knew or should have known was intoxicated (by alcohol or another substance).While this is
not an exhaustive list of indicators for intoxication, consent cannot be obtained when any of the following are present: o the respondent
knew the complainant had been drinking or using drugs, and/or knew how much the complainant had consumed, o the complainant was
visibly stumbling or otherwise was at a loss of equilibrium, o the complainant had noticeably bloodshot, glassy, or unfocussed eyes, o the
complainant exhibited any of the signs of alcohol poisoning, o the complainant was known to have vomited as a result of consumption of
an intoxicating substance, o the complainant was known to be disoriented or confused as to their whereabouts, or the time and date, or
o the complainant has exhibited the loss of consciousness at any point between the consumption of the intoxicating substance and the
alleged sexual activity. When consent can be given, consent is agreement to engage in specific activity that must be: • Intelligent - verbally
or otherwise communicated; and • Knowing - the person must have specific knowledge of each activity they are agreeing to engage in;
and • Voluntary - submission obtained by force, intimidation, threat, blackmail, extortion, or any other method of coercion is not
voluntary. For purposes of this definition, “giving in” is not the same as providing consent.
 Consent is defined as intelligent, knowing, and voluntary agreement to engage in specific activity and shall not be construed to include
submission obtained by force, intimidation, threat, blackmail, extortion, or any other method of coercion or duress. For purposes of this
definition, “giving in” is not the same as providing consent.