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Reciprocity
ATTRACTION
Propinquity / Proximity
nearness
People are more likely to become attracted to
people they are near to.
Proximity in terms of functional distance-
how often peoples paths cross
Familiarity
The more often you see someone, the more
familiar he/she becomes, the more likely it is
that you may develop genuine liking/attraction
to that person.
ATTRACTION
-E.Y.Harburg
ATTRACTION
Physical Attractiveness: How important is
looking good?
Physical attractiveness is a major
determinant of interpersonal and sexual
attraction according to Hensley (1992).
In fact, physical appearance is the key factor
in consideration of partners for dates, sex,
and marriage.
Physical Attractiveness: How
important is looking good?
Is Beauty in the eye of the beholder?
Beauty may not be completely in the
eye of the beholder. Although
personal tastes may vary within and
across cultures, there are cultural
standards for physical attractiveness.
Who is beautiful?
Who is beautiful?
What is beautiful is also influenced
by gender..
Physical Attractiveness: How
important is looking good?
How do traits affect perceptions on
physical attractiveness
It is true that people are regarded as more
attractive when they are smiling. It may
indeed make sense to put on a happy face
when meeting people.
Physical Attractiveness: How
important is looking good?
What do you look for in a long-term,
meaningful relationship?
- Physical attractiveness won out when
students were asked to consider qualities
most important in a partner for sexual
relationship.
PhysicalAttractiveness:
Physical Attractiveness:
HowHow
important is
important
looking is looking good?
good?
Physical and
emotional
attraction without Long-term
commitment, as in committed
a summer friendship such as
romance. a marriage in
which the passion
has faded.
Passionate,
Commitment
obsessive love at
based on passionLove without
first sight without
but without time intimacy or
intimacy or
for intimacy to passion.
commitment.
develop; shallow
relationship such
as whirlwind
courtship.
Now, can you determine whether you are
in love, or just attracted to that person?
ATTRACTION
3 adult attachment styles according to
Hazan and Shaver (1987)
1. Secure attachment
2. Ambivalent attachment
3. Avoidant attachment
ATTRACTION
Secure attachment
Seen in individuals who are not defensive
with others and dont worry about
depending on others.
Dont seem to need constant reminders
that they are loved and valued.
They enjoy their own company and dont
mind being alone.
ATTRACTION
Ambivalent attachment
Less trusting and more likely to manifest
jealousy and possessiveness in the
relationship.
Require constant proofs that they are
someones one and only.
Do not appreciate meditative silence and
solitude
ATTRACTION
cuddle
chemical
LOVE
1. Imprinting
Evolution, genetics, psychological
experiences, and even smells can
trigger romantic reaction to another
person.
LOVE
2. Attraction
Brain is revved up by phenylethylamine
(PEA) and possibly the neurochemicals
dopamine and norepinephrine, all
natural amphetamines that produce
feelings of euphoria and elation
This stage can last for two to three
years, then starts to wane
LOVE
3. Attachment
Larger amounts of endorphins
(chemically similar to morphine) flow
into the brain, leaving lovers with a
sense of security, peace, and calm.
LOVE
Cuddle Chemical
The brains pituitary gland secretes oxytocin
(the cuddle chemical), which stimulates
sensations during lovemaking and produces
feelings of relaxed satisfaction and
attachment.
LOVE
The Greek Heritage
Romantic love in Contemporary Western
Culture
Contemporary Models of Love
The Greek Heritage
The Greeks had four concepts related to
the modern meaning of Love:
1. Storge (STORE-gay)- loving attachment,
deep friendship, or nonsexual affection.
Emotion is the binding force (i.e. friends,
parents and children).
The Greek Heritage
The Greeks had four concepts related to
the modern meaning of Love:
2. Agape (AH-gah-pay) kind of love similar
to generosity and charity. Selfless love.
3. Philia (FEEL-yuh) friendship love based
on liking and respect rather than sexual
desire.
The Greek Heritage
The Greeks had four concepts related to
the modern meaning of Love:
4. Eros the kind of love that is closest in
meaning to the modern-day concept of
passion. Erotic love embraces sudden
passionate desire: love at first sight,
falling head over heels in love.
Romantic love in Contemporary
Western Culture
Romantic love occurs within a cultural
context in which the concept is idealized
(as presented in fairy tales).
Infatuation vs. True Love?
Infatuation a state of intense absorption
in or focus on another person usually
accompanied by sexual desire, elation,
physiological arousal and excitement.
Romantic love in Contemporary
Western Culture
Infatuation vs. True Love?
Infatuated people may become so absorbed
that they cannot sleep, work, or carry out
routine chores. Logic and reason are swept
aside.
Contemporary Models of Love
Love as appraisal of arousal Ellen
Berscheid and Elaine Hatfield
Styles of Love Clyde and Susan
Hendrick
Triangular theory of Love Robert
Sternberg
Contemporary Models of Love
Love as appraisal of arousal
Define romantic love in terms of a state of
intense physiological arousal and cognitive
appraisal of that arousal as love
May be experienced as a pounding heart,
sweaty palms, and butterflies in the
stomach when one is in the presence of, or
thinks about, ones love interest.
Contemporary Models of Love
Styles of Love Clyde and Susan Hendrick
There are 6 styles of love among college
students:
1. Romantic love (eros)
2. Game-playing love (ludus)
3. Friendship (storge, philia)
4. Logical love (pragma)
Contemporary Models of Love
5. Possessive, excited love (mania)
6. Selfless love (agape)
Contemporary Models of Love
Romantic Love
my partner fits my ideal.
my partner and I were attracted to one
another immediately.
Game-playing love
I get over love affairs pretty easily
Contemporary Models of Love
Friendship Love
the best love grows out of an enduring
friendship.
Logical love
I consider whether my partner will be
a good parent.
Contemporary Models of Love
Possessive, excited Love
when my partner ignores me, I get sick all
over.
Selfless love
my partners needs and wishes are
more important than my own.