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Social and Emotional Development in

Early Adulthood (Ch 14)


How Love Develops
Choosing a Mate
Intimate relationships
Co-habitation
Marriage

Quality of relationships
Managingconflict
What makes relationships work

Parenthood But first.


Social Changes in Adolescence:
Relationships with Peers
Peers become main source of interaction
and are important to them
Peer groups function independently of
adults
Movement toward peers of opposite sex
peer pressure
o not all bad
o Most in early adolescence
o Some kids more vulnerable
Cliques and Crowds
Cliques Crowds

shared activities Larger
Average 5 to 6 Usuallybased on
people
improve social
reputation
contribute to identity
skills
From Cliques
to Couples
Separate sex-
segregated
cliques
Cliques join up into
mixed-sex group
Mixed-sex cliques
form
Couples form within
cliques then split off
from group
Early Adult Social & Emotional
Changes (Ch. 14)
Erikson: Intimacy versus Isolation
the ability to establish warm caring
relationships

Depends on successful resolution of


adolescent identity crisis
without it , leads to isolation
How Love Develops
Sternberg
Passion
Physical sexual attraction
Intimacy
Warmth, closeness, and sharing
Commitment
Intent to remain together
Sternbergs Theory of Love
Passion is highest at the beginning
but no intimacy
no commitment

= infatuation
Next comes intimacy
= romantic love
Commitment gradually established
= consummate love
Sternbergs Theory of Love
Hard to maintain
passion diminishes
=companionate love
Finding Someone to Love
(aka Mate Selection)
What do we want in a mate?

Men:
Young and attractive
Women: Ambitious and industrious
Theories of Mate Selection
Evolutionary Theories
adaptive
Parental Investment
Womens investment is large
cant do it often
Looking for men who are providers

Mens investment is small


can repeat a lot
Looking for young healthy women to bear offspring
Theories of Mate Selection
Social Role Theory
unequal distribution of power
Women choose men who have access to it
men can afford to consider attractiveness
Pattern changes in less traditional cultures
But women still want men who earn more
Homogamy
We like people who are like us
And we tend to stay together longer
Attachment Styles
Continuity between early and later attachments
internal working models
Secure
find it easy to get close to others
Avoidant
Avoid intimacy
Anxious
Fear abandonment
Intimate Relationships:
Co-habitation
Rates are increasing
See variety of reasons
Differences from marriage
shorter-term
less traditional

More likely to divorce after marriage


Living together sets up different expectations
Are different from non-cohabitators
Intimate Relationships:
Marriage
still popular
Ending less frequently in divorce
Increasing age at 1st marriage
Quality of Relationships
Factors influencing
Individual skills and resources
personality (O.C.E.A.N. 5 factors)

Attitude towards marriage

quality of interacitons!
Proportionof nice to nasty in everyday
encounters
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw9SE315GtA&feature=related
Conflict Management
Stable marriages Unstable Marriages
validating Hostile/engaged
couples couples
Disagree but still respectful argue a lot, but
volatile without fun
couples
Argue a lot; but still have Hostile/ detached
fun

Avoidant couples couples
Agree to disagree; Frequent arguments,
devitalized no emotional
connection
What Makes Relationships Work
Establishing love maps
Nurturing fondness and admiration*

Turning toward each other instead of
away
letting your partner influence you
Solving solvable conflicts
Intimate Relationships
Gay and Lesbian Couples
many similarities
Different views on monogamy

Singlehood
Isolated No
Advantages
Freedom
Cope better with loneliness

Do have intimate connections


and become single by choice
Parenthood
A major life transition
lots of positives!
BUT
New roles
New responsibilities

Lack of sleep, time

=STRESS
Marital satisfaction drops after birth
until kids leave home!
24 hours with a newborn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9QndNXcnCU
Impact of Parenthood
Influenced by many
factors
work-family balance!

DINKs?
Steadier marital
satisfaction
Women have higher
income
but no kids

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