The Key to Platinum

Introduction
We have all heard of the

Golden Rule and many people aspire to live by it Treat

others the way they like to be treated. The Golden Rule is not a panacea. Think
about it: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." The Golden Rule implies
the basic assumption that other people would like to be treated the way that you would
like to be treated.

However, the alternative to the Golden Rule is the Platinum Rule Treat
others the way they want to be treated." Ah hah! What a difference, right? The

Platinum Rule accommodates the feelings of others. The focus of relationships shifts
from "this is what I want, so I'll give everyone the same thing" to "let me first understand
what they want and then I'll give it to them."

The Platinum

Rule divides behavioural preferences into

four basic styles:
Opinion Oriented.
Friendly handshake.
Show feeling and more
relaxed.
Open

RELATER
SOCIALIZER

More patient and

cooperative.
Gentle handshake.
More likely to wait Indirect
for others to
introduce
THINKER
themselves.
DIRECTOR

Less patient , more

competitive.
Firm handshake.
Direct
Sustained eye contact.

Guarded

Keeps feelings private.

Formal handshake.
Speaks in specifics.

The Four Basic Styles Overview

DIRECTOR

SOCIALIZER

STYLE

STYLE

PRIORITY

- Goal

- People

SEEKS

- Productivity

- Participation

- Control

- Applause

- Administration

- Persuading

- Listening

- Planning

- Leadership

- Motivating

- Teamwork

- Orchestration

- Impatient

- Inattentive to detail

- Oversensitive

- Perfectionists

- Insensitive to others

- Short attention span

- Slow to begin action

- Critical

- Poor Listener

- Low follow-through

- Lacks global perspective

- Unresponsive

- Being taken advantage

- Loss of Social

of

recognition

UNDER STRESS MAY

- Dictatorial

- Sarcastic

- Submissive

- Withdrawn

BECOME

- Critical

- Superficial

- Indecisive

- Headstrong

GAINS TRUST

- Control

- Playfulness

- Friendship

- Preparation

THROUGH

- Leadership

- Others approval

- Cooperation

- Thoroughness

WORKPLACE

- Efficient

- Interacting

- Friendly

- Formal

- Busy

- Busy

- Functional

- Functional

- Structured

- Personal

- Personal

- Structured

STRENGTHS
GROWTH AREAS

FEARS

RELATER STYLE

THINKER STYLE

- Relationship

- Task

- Acceptance

- Sudden changes Instability

- Accuracy
- Precision

- Personal criticism of their

work

However, too much of something

spoils the advantage
Over-extension of Strengths
DIRECTOR

SOCIALIZER

CONTROLS
too much

TALKS
Too much

THINKER

RELATER

QUESTION
too much

AGREE
Too much

SOCIALIZER TRAITS

SO YOU

Concerned with approval and

Show them that you admire and like them

appearances
Seek enthusiastic people and

Behave optimistically and provide upbeat setting

situations
Think emotionally

Support their feelings when possible

Want to know the general

Avoid involved details, focus on the "big picture

expectations
Need involvement and people

Interact and participate with them

contact
Like changes and innovations

Vary the routine; avoid requiring long-term repetition

by them

Want others to notice THEM

Compliment them personally and often

Often need help getting organized

Do it together

Look for action and stimulation

Keep up a fast, lively, pace

RELATER TRAITS

SO YOU

Concerned with stability`

Show how your idea minimizes risk

Think emotionally

Explain your reasoning

Want documentation and facts

Provide data and proof

Like personal involvement

Demonstrate your interest in them

Need to know step-by-step sequence Provide outline and one-two-three instructions as you
personally walk them through
Avoid risks and changes

Give them personal assurances

Dislike conflict

Act non-aggressively, focus on common interest

Accommodate others

Allow them to provide service or support for others

Look for calmness and peace

Provide relaxing, friendly atmosphere

Enjoy teamwork

Provide them with a cooperative group

DIRECTOR TRAITS

SO YOU

Concerned with being Number 1

Show them how to win

Think logically

Display reasoning

Want facts and highlights

Provide concise data

Strive for results

Agree on goals and boundaries, then give support or get out of

their way

Like personal choices

Allow them to do their thing, within limits

Like change

Vary routine

Want others to notice accomplishments

Compliment them on what theyve done

Need to be in charge

Let them take the lead, but give them parameters

Tendency towards conflict

Argue with conviction on points of disagreement, backed up with

facts; dont argue "feelings"

Impatient for results so do it themselves

Persuade them 'now' is not always necessary and work-life balance

is good

THINKER TRAITS

SO YOU

Concerned with aggressive approaches

Approach them in an indirect, non-threatening way

Think logically

Give detailed reasoning

Seek data

Give it to them in writing

Need to know the process

Provide explanations and rationale

Proceed with caution

Allow them to think, enquire and check before they make

decisions

Want others to notice their accuracy

Compliment them on their thoroughness and correctness when

appropriate

Gravitate toward quality control

Let them assess and be involved in the process when possible

Avoid conflict

Tactfully ask for clarification and assistance you may need

Need to be right

Allow them time to find the best or correct answer, within

available limits

Like to contemplate

Tell them why and how

HOW TO ADAPT TO THE FOUR STYLES

AT WORK
DIRECTOR:-

More
realistically
gauge risks.
Tell others the
reasons for
decisions.
Cultivate more
attention/respo
nsiveness to
emotions.

SOCIALIZER :-

Monitor socializing to
keep it in balance with
other aspects of life.
Write things down and
work from a list, so
theyll know what to do
when.
Become more organized
and orderly
in the way they do
things.

THINKER:-

Share their knowledge

and expertise with
others.
Stand up for
themselves with the
people they prefer to
avoid.
Keep on course with
tasks, with less
Checking.

RELATER:-

Feel sincerely
appreciated.
Speak up and
voice their
thoughts and
feelings.
Avoid doing
things the
same way.

HOW TO ADAPT TOTHE ST YLES

In Social Settings:

DIRECTOR
-Give them your time and

undivided attention.
-Appreciate and acknowledge
them when possible.
-Listen to their suggestions.

RELATER
-Avoid arguments and conflict.
-Show them step-by-step
procedures.
-Respond sensitively and
sensibly.

SOCIALIZER
-Focus on a positive, upbeat,
warm.
-Listen to their personal
feelings and experiences.
-Give them your attention,
time and presence.

THINKER
-Respond rather formally and
politely.
-Use a logical approach.
-Privately acknowledge them
about their thinking.

-Develop trust, friendship, and credibility at

a relatively slow pace.
-Get to know them more personally and
approach them in a non-threatening,
pleasant.
RELATER
DIRECTOR
-Get to the point.
-Provide options and let them
make the decision, when
possible.
-Meet them in a professional
and businesslike manner.

SOCIALIZER
HOW TO
ADAPT TOTHE
STYLES
Sales and Service
Strategies

-Support their dreams and

goals.
-Give them testimonials.
-Provide incentives to
encourage quicker
decisions.

THINKER

-Follow through and deliver what you

promise.
-Hone your skills in practicality and logic.
-Tell them both the pros and cons of the
complete story.

In a Nutshell
The Platinum Rule provides powerful life-skills that
will serve you well in all your relationships:
business, friends, family, spouse, and children.
Improved relationships create infinite possibilities.
Sometimes I think of John Lennon's song, "Imagine
there's no conflict, it's easy if you try."

YOUR LIFE IS
YOUR MESSAGE
TO THE PEOPLE
AROUND YOU.
MAKE SURE ITS
INSPIRING,
because

LIFE IS PEOPLE