Romantic

Relationsh
ips
May Portugal
DCBC College Youth Camp
13 Jan. 2015

Li

It all starts with romantic

attraction
(aka crush-crush lang).

until you think

Im in love!

The worlds
perspective
...(video)
(

QuickTime and a
decompressor
are needed to see this picture.

A study*in Asian developing

countries shows in the
Philippines...
males are encouraged to engage in premarital activities
premarital sex is becoming more common, esp in urban areas,
as are many behaviors, such as dating and kissing.
group date starts at ages 13-16, and single date comes two
years after (15-18).
43% of single women, and 48% of men have had a GF/BF at
age 19.
about 50% of adolescents had first sex at age18
* Upadhyay, U., Hindin, M., and Gultiano, S. (2006). Study on before first sex: Gender differences in emotional relationships
and physical behaviors among adolescents in the Philippines. International Family Planning Perspectives
Vol. 32, No. 3, pp. 110-119.

Worldly views and practices

in a RR are often a violation
of Gods will.
It is ok to engage in premarital sex.
It is ok to be physically intimate
with someone you dont know too
well.
It is ok to have casual sex and not
be responsible to ones partner.
It is ok to be physically intimate
with a person of the same sex.

Do not be conformed
to the standards of
this world, but be
transformed by the
renewing of your
minds.
How does this apply when
it comes to romantic
relationships (RR)?

What does this camps theme

say?

Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of Gods
mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing
to Godthis is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to
the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of
your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what Gods
will ishis good, pleasing and perfect will.

three kinds of
relationship
with the opposite
sex...
1. friendship

(Prov.17: 17, Prov.18: 24 , Prov.27: 6,

Prov.27: 9, Prov.27: 10)

2. brother-sister
relationship in Christ
(1 Jn. 3:1, Gal,5:13, Heb. 10:24)

3. marriage
1:2)

(Gen. 2:24, Song of Songs 4:10-11 and

We can say
that...
God desires for you to experience friendships
with others before marriage.

Romantic intimacy and physical intimacy

is to be expressed only in marriage
between a husband and wife.

So ano ang ibig sabihin ng

romantic relationship sa
Biblical perspective?
A relationship where a Christian man and Christian
woman focuses on developing the kind of love
relationship that will build a solid foundation for
marriage.
Not a relationship entered just for the sake of having a
BF/GF.
Not a relationship to test the waters for marriage
(living in).

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do

righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what
fellowship can light have with darkness? (2 Corinthians
6:14)
2 Corinthians 6:14

What is dating
?
a way of spending time together
for two people of the opposite sex
who are attracted to each other
can be defined in two ways
relationship dating - getting to know each
other without romantic intimacy
romantic dating - getting to know each
other w/ romantic intimacy

How does relationship dating

establish a Biblical
foundation for marriage?
It allows you the time and opportunity to develop the kind of
love that God desires in marriage.

How can you prepare yourself

for a Christ-centered
relationship?
1. Develop your ___________________________by having regular
QT, BS, prayer, and worship.
It takes two Christ-centered persons to have a Christ-centered
relationship.
2. Join various ______________________ where God can use your
talents (church, fellowship, camps, etc.).
This is where you will most likely find your lifetime partner.

How can you prepare yourself

for a Christ-centered
relationship?
3.Establish friendships with ______________.
Go out with them on group dates and do fun things
together.
4. Work on _________________________ that will help you
become a suitable lifetime partner (studies, work,
socio-emotional skills, physical condition, family life).
5. Continually commit your ____________________to
___________.
Remember always that your full happiness is in Jesus, not
in any other person. Sing songs and recite verses that remind you of this.

As you date...

When you find him/her, what

do you do?
1. Establish the friendship thru ___________________*,
not romantic dating.
Know as much as you can about his/her interests, likes and
dislikes, views, etc.
*relational dating spending time getting to know each other
without romantic intimacy and/or physical intimacy
BREAK: Share with a partner, three (3) things you can do on a
wholesome date.

When you find him/her, what

do you do?
2. Grow together ___________________.
Pray together, study the Bible together, serve together in a
ministry, and worship together.
3. Gauge his/her level of ______________.
Observe him/her in different situations (competitions, family
gatherings, with kids, etc).
Know his/her strengths and flaws.
Ask if these are the qualities you are looking for in a lifetime
partner.
(ex. For guys good leader, humble, patient; for ladies
teachable, submissive)

When you find him/her, what

do you do?
4. Avoid ____________________ and ______________________ at this time.
This will help you test whether your relationship has a solid foundation based on knowledge of each other.
Getting intimate with him/her will only lead to frustration, heartbreak, and sin.
Like a bud turning into a flower, romantic and physical intimacy will soon bloom into
(sexual intercourse). In God's standards, this should happen only in
marriage.
romantic intimacy saying I love yous, etc.
physical intimacy holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc.
BREAK: Q: When can I share my feelings with the other person?
(Write your thoughts here.)

Q: What should I know about sex? (Write your thoughts here.)

its full form

When you find him/her, what

do you do?
BREAK:
Q: When can I share my feelings with the other person?
(Write your thoughts here.)
Q: What should I know about sex? (Write your thoughts here.)

5. Have an accountability partner or support group who can

check on you.
Choose mature Christians who can advise and pray for you.
Q: Who can be my accountability partner now? _________________

Verbalize your romantic

feelings to the other person
only when you are ready to
marry.
Prov.29:20 "Do you see a man who
speaks in haste? There is more hope
for a fool than for him." Quickly
revealing your feelings for someone is
speaking hastily.
You are not ready to marry when you
are still studying or dont have a job, or
are not ready to make a commitment
to love the person.

When is it right
to show
intimacy?
GENESIS 2: 23-25
This sexual union is an intimate experience that is both emotional and physical.
In marriage, romantic/emotional and physical intimacy has several purposes:
(1) to express love and pleasure between a husband and wife (Prov.5:18-19, Song of Songs),
(2) to become emotionally and physically united as husband and wife (Gen. 2:24, One flesh"), and
(3) to have children (Gen. 1:28). In the N.T. a Christian marriage was also used as a picture of intimacy between Christ
and His Church. (Eph.5:23-33) This was and has always been God's plan for romantic/emotional and sexual
intimacy.

Romantic intimacy involves

the most fragile part or our
being - our hearts. The
protective bond of marriage
protects the heart from being
easily crushed.

Physical intimacy -

God's plan for romantic and sexual intimacy was

corrupted by man.

Jesus repeated and re-emphasized God's original plan and instructions (Matt. 19:3-12, Matt. 5;27-28)
The N.T. condemns sexual intimacy outside of marriage = sexual immorality (Heb. 13:4, 1 Cor. 6:1318, Gal. 5:19, and 1 Thess. 4: 3)
Rom.13:14 says not to provide yourself an opportunity for the flesh to lust. 1 Cor.6:18 says we are to
flee these lusts. Run from them. Stay away from them. 1 Tim. 5: 2 says that God desires that
Christian men treat Christian women as sisters in absolute purity.
Sexual intimacy/contact is more than just the act of sexual intercourse. It is by its very nature any
physical contact, which stimulates a sexual response in either participant (even if nakedness is not
uncovered). Sexual intimacy is not just an act, it is a whole process of developing physical intimacy.
Engaging in activity of this nature with someone outside of marriage is sexual immorality.
Full romantic intimacy outside of marriage should be avoided.
Romantic intimacy is a warm closeness a man and woman share together on an emotional level as they love each other
as husband and wife. This is clearly shown (as mentioned earlier) in Song of Songs (see 4:9-10). It is also the path
to physical and sexual intimacy. It is for marriage. Romantic feelings should be based on a solid foundation of love
and concern for each other. It should never drive the relationship, but complement it. A man and woman should be
careful to keep from developing this romantic intimacy too early or too quickly before they married. It is like a rose
bud that is opened in marriage and must be opened only a little before they are married, lest it develop their
intimacy before the proper time.

Promises I can
hang on to...
Proverbs 3:5-6
5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

John 14:23
Jesus replied, Anyone who loves me will obey my
teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come
to them and make our home with them.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of
those who love him, who have been called according
to his purpose.
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the
desires of your heart.

Application and
Reflection Time
(See handout for questions.)

References
New International Version (NIV) Bible
Girao, W.(1991).Not Just
Sundays:Being a Christian in the
Everyday World. Manila: OMF
Literature, Inc.
Dobson, J. Love for a Lifetime.
Dobson, J. Romantic Love.
Harris,J. Not Even a Hint.

Reflection Time: How are we

called to be different in our
relationships with the
opposite sex?

Reflection and Prayer Time

What is Gods message for me?
What struggles/challenges am I facing
now?
Is there anything I need to confess
before God?
What action plan do I need to take?
Pray for the Holy Spirit to empower you
to not conform to the worlds
standards, but to follow Gods
standards.

References
https://scenariosusa.org/shop/hiv-aids
/just-like-you-imagined/
Relationships and dating in the Bible.
http://www.titusinstitute.com/datingb
ible/relationshipsdatingbible.php
Sex, dating, marriage, and the Bible:
Gods plan for romantic and physical
intimacy.
http://www.titusinstitute.com/datingb
ible/datingmarriage.php
https://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=tobD9jp6Khs