Love and

Relationship -
Islamic
Perspective
By: Feroz Patel
Deciding factors
Male-female relationship – how society look at
it
How’s social environment around youth?
Laws present at the time
Vision of the society in all
Male-Female Relationship
Religious attitude towards it
Literature of the that time
Games and festivals of that time
Attitude of the high-class society
Status of women in the society


Let’s look at the history
Greek civilization
Most glorious of all the ancient civilizations

Rome

Christian Europe

Modern Europe



Greek Civilization – early
stage
Status of woman in early stages of the Greek


culture development
An imaginary woman called Pandora was the
main cause of all human ills and misfortunes,
just like Eve
Woman as sub-human creature whose status in
the society was inferior to man



Greek Civilization – middle
stage
Enlightenment brought some relief to women
She became sovereign of the Greek household
Women of the Greek nobility observed Purdah
Honour for marriages, chastity was precious
But men were exempted from expectations as
like woman
Relations with prostitutes were considered as
improper
This was the time when Greek nation was

vigourous and energetic

Greek Civilization – last
stage
Overwhelmed by egotism and perversion
Corrupt female gained such prominence that has
no parallel in history
Prostitution became passion and part of every class
of Greek society
Sexual degradation – sodomy is welcomed
Nudity and vulgarity became art and aesthetics
Worship of Aphrodite – the goddess of love and
beauty and Cupid - God of love
Result – After such a moral degradation, their
civilization became off from world


Rome was not build in a
day
Next after Greeks
Social tradition recognized man as the chief of
family
When Roman democracy were at their zenith,
womenfolk and youth were under unrelenting
family discipline
Chastity for woman was nobility of character
Man-woman relationship only thru marriage
When a legislator kissed his wife in front of his
daughter, it’s considered as derogatory to
national moral character

Rome downfall
Marriages became mere a civil contract
Women economically more independent
Seneca (4BC -65AD) “Now divorce is not regarded as shameful
in Rome. Women calculate their age by the number of husbands they
have taken”
When checks on public morality became weak then
the flood of sexual licentiousness, nudity and
promiscuity
Prostitution became so widespread that Caesar
Tiberius (42BC-27AD) has to enforce a law
prohibiting women of nobility from adopting
prostitution
Roman literature – full of immoral and immodest
themes
Christian Europe
Christianity stepped in to cure the western
world of its moral ailments
Cleaned up society from previous ills up to an
extent
But their concept of women and relationship
was not only against human nature but also
extreme unnatural
Woman was mother of all sins and root cause
of all evil
Sexual relationship between man and woman
was in itself an objectionable, dirty at fair,
even within marriage
Downfall of woman morally as well as socially
Modern Europe
18th century onwards, philosophers and writers
raised their voices against the individual’s
rights
Three Doctrines of Western society
1.Equality between male and female
2.Economic independence for female
3.Free intermingling of the sexes


Three powerful motives
Licentious literature, which has increased in
obscenity and circulation at a tremendous
speed
The movies, which not only arouse sexual
hunger but also teach practical ways of
satisfying it
The depraved moral condition of women, which
is reflected by their attire, nudity, increasing
smoking habits and their free and
unrestricted intermingling with men
Tragic consequences
Decay of physical energy
Disruption of family system – divorce and
separation
Venereal Diseases / STD
Prevalence of sexual promiscuity

 Cases of STDs reported by state health
departments and rates per 100,000
population: United States, 1997-2008
Year Syphilis Chlamydia Gonorrhea
Primary and secondary
All stages

Cases Rate Cases Rate Cases Rate Cases Rate

1997 8,556 3.1 46,715 17.1 537,904 205.5 327,665 120.2
1998 7,007 2.5 38,290 13.9 614,250 231.8 356,492 129.2
1999 6,617 2.4 35,383 12.7 662,647 247.2 360,813 129.3
2000 5,979 2.1 31,618 11.2 709,452 251.4 363,136 128.7
2001 6,103 2.1 32,284 11.3 783,242 274.5 361,705 126.8
2002 6,862 2.4 32,919 11.4 834,555 289.4 351,852 122
2003 7,177 2.5 34,289 11.8 877,478 301.7 335,104 115.2
2004 7,980 2.7 33,422 11.4 929,462 316.5 330,132 112.4
2005 8,724 2.9 33,288 11.2 976,445 329.4 339,593 114.6
2006 9,756 3.3 36,935 12.3 1,030,911 344.3 358,366 119.7
2007 11,466 3.8 40,921 13.6 1,108,374 367.5 355,991 118
2008 13,500 4.5 46,277 15.3 1,210,523 401.3 336,742 111.6
Change 18% 18% 13% 12.50% 9% 9% -5.40% -6%
2007-2008
Love
The English word "love" can have a variety of
related but distinct meanings in different
contexts
Impersonal love - of non human beings
Interpersonal love – between human beings

Intimacy towards an object, living or non-living
Love- Chemical Basis
Lu st –
e xp o se s p e o p le to o th e rs
A ttra ctio n –
fo cu s o n m a tin g
A tta ch m e n t –
u n d e rsta n d in g a n d
to le ra tin g o th e rs
Love- Psychological Basis
Three components


Intimacy – people share confidences and

various details of their personal life
Commitment – is expectation that the
relationship is permanent
Sexual attraction / Passion – is shown in
infatuation as well as romantic love

Love – Islamic
perspective
And Among His wonders is this: He creates for
you mates out of your own kind, so that you
might incline towards then, and He
engenders love and tenderness between you:
in this, behold, there are messages indeed for
people who think! (Rum 30:21)
If a man loves his brother, let him tell that he loves him
(Abu Dawood, 5124 and as-Thirmidhi, 2329)
By the One in Whose hand is my soul, you will not enter
Paradise until you truly believe, and you will not truly
believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you
of something that, if you do it, you will love one
another? Spread the (the greeting of) salaam among
yourselves (narrated by Muslim, 54)

Relationships – prevalent
today
Free intermingling of sexes
Dating
Living in relationships – without marriage
Valentine day / Rose day
Lusty relationships

Valentine Day
Stories behind it
1.Roman belief that Romulus, the founder of
Rome, suckled one day by a she-wolf, which
gave him strength and wisdom. They
started celebrating it as feast of love
2.Saint Valentine: advocate of love and peace.
He was executed on 14th Feb 270 CE
Valentine Day and Islam
Its origin lie in the pagan belief of Romans,
where is was an expression of the spiritual
love of the idols
Its based myths and legends of Roman era
Celebrating it means resembling non-believers
The love referred in this festival is romantic
love outside the framework of marriage,
which is totally haram
Anyone should not celebrate it, support it even
for non-Muslims

Relationship – Islamic
Perspective
 Long term mutual agreement between two
people based on caring each other for the sake
of Allah
Happiness
Well Being
Growth and development

Marriage – only way of relationship between
male and female who want to live together
Legally approved i.e. commitment
Purpose of marriage
He has given you wives from among
yourselves to multiply you, and cattle male
and female (42:11)
Your wives are your farms (2:223)
He created for you mates among yourselves
that you may find rest and joy in them, and
created love and mercy (30:21)
They are (like) garment to you and you are
(like) a garment to them (2:187)

What Islam says to us ?
Iman – strong faith in the Allah and belief in
Akhirah
Lower your gazes
Be Hayadar as Prophet said “Every religion has a
morality, and the morality of Islam is Haya”
Keep yourself away as much as you can from filthy
things may it be TV, internet, magazines,
colleges, etc
Accompany good people, involve yourselves more
in good deeds
Develop a strong sense towards illegal things
related to sex
Marry as early as you can – marry to pious person
only
Jazak Allah khair
And those who do good works, whether men or
women, provided that they are Believers, will
enter into Paradise and they will not be
deprived in the least of their rightful rewards”
(4:124)

‫ن‬ ‫قي‬ ‫ت‬‫م‬ْ ‫ل‬‫ا‬ ‫ب‬ ‫ح‬
ِ ‫ي‬ ‫ه‬ّ ‫ل‬‫ال‬ ‫ن‬ ‫إ‬َ ‫ف‬ ‫قى‬
َ ‫ت‬‫وا‬ ‫ه‬ ‫د‬ ‫ه‬ ‫ع‬ ‫ب‬ َ
‫فى‬ ‫و‬َ ‫بَلى من أ‬
َ ِّ ُ ّ ُ َ ّ ِ ّ َ ِ ِ ْ َِ ْ ْ َ َ
Nay, but [God is aware of] those who keep
their bond with Him, and are conscious of
Him: and, verily, God loves those who are
conscious of Him. (3:76)