The

Malay
Wedding

PRE WEDDING CEREMONY, CONSISTS OF

(a) the investigation (merisik),
(b) the engagement or approach to formalise the
arrangement (meminang)
(c) the hantaran or the sending of gifts and part of the amount of money (wang belanja)

Merisik
Having decided upon one particular bride, Merisik
(investigation process) takes place. Representatives
from the bride grooms family pay a friendly visit to
the brides family.

Merisik does not constitute a formal proposal.

Following the visit both sides can begin to think more
seriously about the possibilities of the marriage.

Once agreement for the marriage has

been reached between the families of
the potential bride and the potential
bridegroom,they decide one :
(a) The date and time for the
meminang ceremony.
(b) The amount of money to be paid by
the young man for expenses ( wang
belanja).
(c) Details regarding the gift
(hantaran) items.

Gift items
(a) A gold or diamond ring.
(b) A betel-leaf container (tepak sirih)
complete with betel leaves (sirih) and
other ingredients. This is known as sirih
meminang.
(c) A complete set of clothes.
The total number of gift-trays and the
number of items returned as gifts by the
potential bride must be in odd numbers,
usually 7 or more.

Meminang (engagement)
Here, both sides will talk and
determine the date of marriage
contract (akad nikah).
Usually the adat bertunang
(engagement custom) is normally
held at the bride's home.
In addition, adat of menghantar
tanda (token) also take place in
adat bertunang.

Both families exchange gifts, with

the exception of the engagement
ring. The ring will be placed on the
finger of the potential bride by an
elder sister or aunt of the potential
bridegroom.
Following the exchange of gifts a
feast is given to the bridegrooms
party, before they leave for home.

ACTUAL MARRIAGE
CEREMONY
AKAD NIKAH AND BERINAI

Akad Nikah (religious solemnisation)

Akad Nikah is an Islamic ceremony

without which no marriage is valid. Consent
of both the bride and the bridegroom must
be obtained, and conducted by religious
official.

In the sermon given by the officials, the

bridegroom and the bride will receive a
briefing on their rights and responsibilities
as a married couple, particularly from the
Islamic perspective.
A marriage certificate will be issued by the
kadhi or State Religious Council
representatives following the ceremony,

Adat Berinai

a. Berinai Curi takes place three nights before the

actual wedding ceremony (akad nikah) with the
participation of close relatives and friends only.

b. Berinai Kecil. Takes place two nights before the

wedding ceremony with the participation of family
members, neighbours and close friends.

c. Berinai Besar is usually held after the completion

of the religious ceremony (Akad Nikah).
For the berinai besar the newly married couple sit on
the specially decorated (pelamin). Family members
from both sides take turns to apply henna to the
hands of the seated couple. Rice and a mixture of
flour may also be applied to the palms and foreheads
of the couple, as a sign of blessing.

WHILE THE THIRD GROUP OF ACTIVITIES CONSISTS OF

BERARAK
BERSANDING
SAMBUT MENANTU

Berarak (Procession)
The ceremonial activities during the actual
day begin with the bridegroom walking
slowly in procession towards the brides
house for a distance of about a hundred to
two hundred metres.
The party, led by womenfolk and
accompanied by bearers of the decorative
flowers called bunga manggar.
The kompang troupe walks in procession
and performs various songs until the
bridegroom enter the brides house.

bersanding.
(enthronement)
The actual marriage day is
thebersanding. This literally
means the "sitting together of
the bride and bridegroom on the
bridal couch". Known as
thePelamin, this couch is the
centre piece of the whole
ceremony, and two pelamins are
required - one in the bride's
house and the other in the

Sambut menantu(welcoming ceremony)

The adat of sambut menyambut

or ceremony of welcome is
usually done at the
bridegroomss house to welcome
the bride.
This may take place a day or two
following the bersanding.

Despite overall
similarities in the
respective ceremonies
as done in various
parts of the country,
there are certain
regional differences.