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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Chapter 11:
Interpersonal Conflict
and Conflict
Management

1. Definition of interpersonal
conflict
Occurs when people are
interdependent
Mutually aware of incompatible
goals
See each other as interfering with
achieving goals

CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Preliminaries to
Interpersonal Conflict

2. Myths about interpersonal

conflict

Conflict is best avoided

Conflict is a sign of a troubled
relationship
Conflict damages a relationship
Conflict is destructive because it
reveals our bad sides
In conflict, there has to be a
winner and a loser
CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Preliminaries to
Interpersonal Conflict
(cont.)

3. Interpersonal conflict issues

Intimacy
Power
Personal flaws
Personal distance
Social
Distrust

CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Preliminaries to
Interpersonal Conflict
(cont.)

1. Conflict is inevitable
2. Conflict can have negative and
positive effects
Negative effects

Leads to bad feelings

You close yourself off
Increases costs

CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Principles of
Interpersonal Conflict

2. Negative and positive effects

(cont.)
Positive effects

Resolves problems
Improves relationships
Demonstrates commitment to
relationship

3. Conflict can focus on content

and/or relationship issues
Relationship conflicts equity and
power
CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Principles of Interpersonal
Conflict (cont.)

4. Conflict styles have

consequences

Competing I win, you lose

Avoiding I lose, you lose
Accommodating I lose, you win
Collaborating I win, you win
Compromising I win and lose; you
win and lose

CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Principles of Interpersonal
Conflict (cont.)

5. Conflict is influenced by culture

Topics
High context cultures fight about
violations of group norms
Low context cultures fight about
violations of personal norms

Nature of conflict
Conflict strategies
Organizational norms
CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Principles of Interpersonal
Conflict (cont.)

1. Set the stage

Fight in private
Be sure you both are ready to fight
Know what youre fighting about
Fight about things that can be
solved

CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Conflict Management
Stages

2. Define the conflict

Define both content and
relationship issues
Define the problem in specific
terms
Focus on the present; avoid
gunnysacking
Empathize
Avoid mind reading

3. Examine possible solutions

CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Conflict Management
Stages (cont.)

4. Test the solution

5. Evaluate the solution

Fact hat
Feeling hat
Negative argument hat
Positive benefit hat
Creative new idea hat
Control of thinking hat
CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Conflict Management
Stages (cont.)

6. Accept or reject the solution

7. Wrap it up
Learn from the process
Dont let the conflict overtake your
relationship
Increase cherishing behaviors

CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Conflict Management
Stages (cont.)

1. Factors that influence your

choice of strategy
Goals
Emotional state
Cognitive assessment of whats
fair and who caused the conflict
Personality and communication
competence
Family history
CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Conflict Management
Strategies

2. Win-lose and win-win strategies

3. Avoidance of conflict and active
fight strategies
Avoidance

Physical
Emotional or cognitive
Demand withdrawal
Non-negotiation
Silencers
CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)

4. Force and talk strategies

Force

Physically force your position on the

other
Emotionally force your position on the
other

Talk strategies

Act the role of listener

Express support and empathy
State thoughts and feelings
CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)

5. Face-attacking and faceenhancing strategies:

Politeness in conflict
Face-attacking criticizing
someone or making demands
Face-enhancing support or
confirm someone
Destructive behaviors

Beltlining
Blaming
CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)

6. Verbal aggressiveness and

argumentativeness strategies
Aggressiveness

Unproductive
Trying to win at the others expense
disconfirming

Argumentativeness

Should be cultivated
Argue your point of view
CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)

6. Argumentativeness strategies
(cont.)
Cultivating argumentativeness

Be objective
Avoid attacking the other person
Reaffirm the others competence
Avoid interrupting
Stress equality
Express interest in the others
viewpoint
Avoid being overly emotional
CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict

Copyright 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All

Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)