Varieties of Love

The Philosophy of Sex and Love (2008)

Alan Soble

Varieties of Love: What is Love?
proposes methodology to look for what is
or isnt love: One methodology we can
apply in seeking an answer is this: if a
claim or theory about love implies that
many cases of what we ordinarily call love
arent love, that is a reason (not
necessarily decisive) for denying the claim
or theory (p. 11)
Varieties of Love: What is Love?
example: love lasts forever as long as
both lover and beloved are alive
do you think this is true?
Varieties of Love: What is Love?
Varieties of Love: What is Love?
concept of love: like concept of a work of
art
source: wolpics.com
Varieties of Love: What is Love?
problem with concept of love (and art):
are there distinct kinds of love, or is love
love, common in all cases?
e.g., Fromms six types
Varieties of Love: What is Love?
if there are different kinds there are
different ways to distinguish
e.g., objects, basis, causal effects, etc.
Varieties of Love: What is Love?
distinguishing loves by their objects:
We love our spouses, parents, siblings,
children, friends, pets, country, abstract
ideals, God, geometrical theorems, personal
belongings, food, movies, books, and nature
(p. 12)
love for parents love for pizza love for
Canada
Varieties of Love: What is Love?
distinguishing loves by their basis:
desiring love, as in erotic love?
friendly love?
benevolent love, based in goodwill and
giving?
Varieties of Love: What is Love?
distinguishing loves by their causal
effects:
Loves can also be differentiated by their
typical causal effects, whether a love causes a
desire to benefit the beloved, or causes a
desire for union with the beloved, or causes a
desire to possess the beloved (p. 12)
Varieties of Love: What is Love?
English: only one noun, love qualified
with adjectives
source: revpaulbeedle.wordpress.com
Varieties of Love: Love and Value
relationship between loving and valuing
Do we love something because we find value
in it, or do we find value in it because we love
it? (p.12)
what do you think?
Varieties of Love: Love and Value
think of someone/thing you love
1) do you love that thing or person because
it/he/she has features you find valuable or
attractive? or
2) do you think that thing/person has valuable
or attractive features because you love
it/him/her?
general question for many emotions (incl.
hate, fear, anger, admiration)
Varieties of Love: Love and Value
relation 1: eros-type (e-type)

relation 2: agape-type (a-type)
source: shelf3d.com
Varieties of Love: Love and Value
In eros-type love, the value of Y, the
object of love, exists first. Then Xs love
for Y arises as a response to this
antecedent value (p. 13)
Aristotle: No one falls in love who has not
first derived pleasure from the looks of the
beloved agree?
Varieties of Love: Love and Value
e-type love means that if X loves Y
because Y has a valuable set of properties
P, we can expect X to love someone else
(say, Z) who also exhibits P (p. 13)
translation?
Varieties of Love: Love and Value
In agape-type love, the love exists first.
Then the value of the beloved, as far as it
figures into love, comes into existence (p.
13)
may not be able to explain exactly the origin
of love itself, but its the independent
variable
Varieties of Love: Love and Value
mixing of the two?
Suppose that some value V1 in Y exists first, and
X loves Y because of V1. The love is based on,
explained by, V1. However, in virtue of loving Y,
X attributes other values, V2, to Y. This aspect of
Xs love for Y is a-type. But Xs love is essentially
e-type, because X attributing V2 to Y and Xs love
for Y are both explained by Xs response to V1.
These cases would be a-type only if Xs love was
not grounded in V1, or other valuable properties
of Y (p. 13)
Varieties of Love: Love and Value
source: uglyswag.com
Varieties of Love: Evaluating and
Assessing Love
which is better: e-type or a-type love?
Varieties of Love: Evaluating and
Assessing Love
Perhaps e-type love is preferable, because it
encourages X to discover (by self-reflection)
why X selects Y and not Z to love. Lovers are
commonly called on to justify loving a
particular person; even the beloved might
press the lover with why me? X must
provide Y (and the unloved Z) with a more
convincing reason than thats the way I feel
or I dunno, just do (or just dont) (p. 19)
Varieties of Love: Evaluating and
Assessing Love
Proponents of a-type love think it is
better to love without a reason, than with
a reason. Why? Perhaps a-type love is
constant [unlike values, attributes, or
properties] (p. 19)
is it better for ones love or lack of love not to
be based on specific reasons?
Varieties of Love: Evaluating and
Assessing Love
other issue with e-type: our belief that
the object of our love
has lovable qualities
may be skewed/false
source: ripplen.deviantart.com
Varieties of Love: Evaluating and
Assessing Love
difference between love and infatuation
or desire?
another example: hate
is love a special emotion, different from the
others?
Varieties of Love: The Fine Gold Thread
does love have a common ingredient the
fine gold thread?
Does love have a central ingredient (C)? C
would be common to all loves, not only to all
instances of one type of love but all types of
love, period (p. 22)
what might this central ingredient be?
Varieties of Love: The Fine Gold Thread
would have to be something significant
and unique to love
C must provide a way to distinguish love not
only from things that are wildly different from
it (dogs, meatballs) but also from things that
are close to love but are either pretenders or
associated phenomena (infatuation, respect,
admiration, sexual desire) (p. 22)
Varieties of Love: The Fine Gold Thread
problem: many varieties of love, many
exceptions to general rules
e.g., if we say the common ingredient is
caring for the wellbeing of the beloved, it
wouldnt make sense to say that a child loves
its mother
e.g., if the common ingredient is forming a
unitive bond this might make sense of a
child loving its mother, but not of a child
loving its mothers milk