Discipline in adolescent age

Middle-class parents who shout at their teenage children are increasing their risk of depression and troubled behaviour. Even if parents enjoy a close relationship with their son and daughter, harsh verbal discipline was found have a dramatic impact on their teens emotional development, a study found. This form of discipline can vary from yelling and shouting at a child, to swearing and using words to humiliate them.

 Scientists looked at 976 two-parent families in the US, the majority of which were middle-class. They found that many shifted from physical to verbal discipline as their children entered adolescence. They also discovered that more severe forms of harsh verbal discipline were commonplace, and directed at teens in nearly half of households.

 More... Time to give up monogamy? Women could improve the 'quality of their offspring by having multiple partners', claims study Thousands of primary school pupils face a three-day week to cope with places crisis The researchers found if parents use such punishment when their child is 13, the teen is more likely to have behavioural or emotional problems later on. These youngsters tended to suffer more depressive symptoms between ages 13 and 14 than children who were not disciplined in this manner, while they were also more likely to have conduct problems such as misbehaving at school, lying, stealing, or fighting.

 This is one of the first studies to indicate that parents harsh verbal discipline is damaging to the developing adolescent, said lead researcher Dr Ming-Te Wang, assistant professor of psychology in education at the University of Pittsburgh. The notion that harsh discipline is without consequence, once there is a strong parent-child bond-that the adolescent will understand that theyre doing this because they love me-is misguided because parents warmth didnt lessen the effects of harsh verbal discipline. Indeed, harsh verbal discipline appears to be detrimental in all circumstances. between mothers and fathers use of harsh verbal discipline and adolescent conduct problems and depressive symptoms. The researchers suggested parents hostility could actually lead to an increase in the risk of delinquency, by lowering inhibition and fostering anger, irritability, and belligerence in adolescents. During the experiment, teens and their parents completed surveys over a two-year period on topics related to their mental health, child rearing practices, and the quality of the parent-child relationship. Approximately 90 per cent of American parents admit one or more instances of harsh verbal discipline towards their children. Dr Wang suggests parents who want to discipline their teenage children would benefit by talking with them about their concerns and the consequences of the behaviour.

 Curb Your Teens Bad Behavior with Discipline that Works Share this: You want your children to do the right things, but disciplining teens isn't easy. When they talk back, you can't just put them in a time-out like you did when they were toddlers. Effective parenting of teens requires a few adjustments to your discipline strategies. Font size: AAA can bring some of the toughest discipline challenges parents have to face. Sulking, arguing, lying, and rebelling are just a few of the ways teens misbehave. There's a good explanation for these bad behaviors. As teens become more independent, they still lack the emotional maturity they need to make informed, thoughtful decisions. The parts of the brain that control decision making and impulse control haven't fully developed. The combination of autonomy and immaturity can lead to risky teen behaviors, like drinking, smoking, and having unprotected sex.Bad behavior doesn't end when your child graduates from diapers -- or even from middle school. In fact, the teen years

 Smarter, Stronger Discipline Strategies The goal of effective discipline is to gain more control over your kids -- without being too controlling. Set clear rules. Tweens and teens push boundaries to see how their parents will respond. It's important to establish clear rules, and to have consequences for breaking those rules. For example, the punishment for breaking curfew might be that your teen has to stay home the next weekend. You'll get less resistance if you involve your kids in designing their own consequences. Just don't forget that you still have the final sa Put it in writing. So that there can be no misunderstandings, create a formal list of house rules, or type up a behavior contract that you and your teen sign. Post the list or contract on the fridge or in another central location where your kids won't be able to miss it. Examples of clear rules include: "Curfew is 8 p.m. on weekdays, 10 p.m. on weekends, and no going out until homework is finished." Anyone who breaks one of these rules loses television for a day. If your kids do break one of the rules, all you have to do is point to the list.

Be firm -- and consistent. Teens are master negotiators and manipulators. They're adept at spotting any sign of parental weakness. When you waffle and give in to their pleas for leniency, they are going to expect the same response every time they misbehave or break a rule. Being consistent about teen discipline also means that both parents need to be on the same page. If one parent always says "yes" and the other always says "no," your teen is going to know exactly which parent to ask. While you're being firm, don't forget to also be fair and understanding. A little empathy goes a long way when disciplining teens. Know which rules are important to you. You want to be consistent, but not harsh. It's OK to give in about the small stuff once in a while, provided that it isn't something dangerous. For example, purple hair might not appeal to you, but it probably won't hurt your teen. Drug and alcohol use, on the other hand, are non-negotiable. Be a good role model. If the rule is "No swearing in the house" and you curse like a sailor, you're giving your teen a free pass to do the same. The best way to encourage positive teen behaviors is to model them yourself. Teach responsibility. An important part of parenting teenagers is to teach them how to make decisions. Kids need to learn that whatever choices they make -- good or bad -- have consequences. Sit down and talk about some of the dangerous and long-term consequences that risky behaviors can have, including drug abuse,pregnancy, smoking, and drunk driving.

Know that no matter how well you prepare your kids, they're going to make some mistakes. The important thing is to show them how to learn from those mistakes. Stay involved. One of the best ways to prevent teen bad behavior is to know what your kids are up to. You don't need to spy on your teens or listen in on their phone conversations -- you just need to be an involved and interested parent. Ask what your kids are doing when they go out with friends. Know who they hang out with and where they go. Being an involved parent also means watching for any warning signs that your teen is in trouble. These signs include: skipping school, losing or gaining a lot of weightquickly, having trouble sleeping, spending more time alone, getting into trouble with the law, or talking about committing suicide. If you see any of these changes in your teen, enlist the help of a doctor or therapist right away. Understand. You might look back at your own teen years through rosetinted glasses, but don't forget that this tumultuous time of life comes with a lot of stress. Teens are under an enormous amount of pressure to do well in school, excel at a lot of different activities, follow all the current fads, and fit in with their friends. Before you come down hard on your teen for bad behavior, try to understand what's driving it. Could there be trouble in school? Boyfriend or girlfriend problems? Bullying?

 Get your kids to open up to you about their problems by creating an environment of honesty and respect. Let them know that they can talk to you about anything. Even sensitive subjects like sex and drug use should not be off-limits. Let your teens know that you will always love and support them, no matter what they do. Discipline and Guidance: Early to Middle Adolescence: Socializing, Dating and Driving Socializing and Dating . Family rules and expectations can become complicated when teens visit each other's homes. As discussed, every family has their own values and beliefs, and their own rules that reflect these values and beliefs. Parents of different families often see their roles differently. These differing expectations can become sources of difficulty for teens and their parents. Nevertheless, parents need to establish clear guidelines that enable their youth to make wise choices.

First, youth should be explicitly taught they are expected to follow their own family's rules whether they are at home or visiting someone else's home; and, they must also comply with the rules of the home they are visiting. However, these two sets of rules may conflict with each other (i.e., one set of rules is more strict or more lenient than the other) leaving teens to judge which set of rules should apply. Teens should be instructed to follow the more strict set of rules when they are in doubt. The best way parents can help prevent problems from developing is to be in direct communication with other parents. Before youth visit each other's homes, the children's parents should talk with each other, on the phone or in person, so they can become acquainted and begin a dialogue about rules and expectations . If one parent has strong convictions about certain rules or behavior that should be enforced regardless of which home a child is visiting, they need to respectfully discuss these expectations with the other parent to see if their expectations are agreeable to the other parent. When there is disagreement, parents should discuss their different approaches and work out a satisfactory solution. For example, if Johnny's mom doesn't want Johnny hanging out at a friend's house without adult supervision, Johnny's mom can discuss this with Ken's mom and inquire whether there will be an adult present during the time the two boys are planning to visit. If Ken's mother reports she doesn't share that belief or that she can't be home when the guys want to socialize, Johnny's mom may ask that the boys visit at her home instead (with her supervision) for the afternoon or the boys may need to reschedule their visit to coincide with a time when Ken's mom is expected to be home.

 Driving Privileges Consistent with laws that apply to everyone, parents should help their youth recognize that driving is a privilege and not a right. As such, it is a privilege that is earned, and can be taken away. Similarly, the use of a car, whether the family car or a teen's own car, is an expensive privilege that can be awarded for responsible behavior, or taken away for irresponsible behavior. At a minimum parents should clearly establish and communicate their expectations about driving and the use of a car. Specifically, teens should be aware of what behavior will result in the loss of driving privileges (for instance, drug or alcohol use). More information about driving is found in the Safety section.

Experimentation with alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs Besides talking to youth about the risks to using substances, parents need to express clear rules and expectations around teen substance use. At a minimum parents should establish rules that are consistent with state and federal laws. Youth should not be allowed to smoke or use any tobacco product before they turn 18, and they shouldn't be allowed to drink until they are 21. Illegal drugs are off-limits for the same reasons; because in fact, they are illegal. Parents need to make these boundaries clear. Therefore, parents should not provide their youth with alcohol or tobacco, or allow any youth to use alcohol or tobacco while in their presence. Some parents may wish to make an exception for substances used during sacred religious events or important family traditions. For instance, in the Catholic tradition, the consumption of a small amount of wine is part of a holy sacrament and in the Lakota tradition, tobacco may be consumed during a sweat lodge purification ceremony. Furthermore, youth should clearly understand what the consequences are for illicit drug use (including alcohol), such as the loss of driving privileges, and establish clear guidelines about what should be done if they are with friends who are using alcohol and other drugs. It is important that parents make it clear, that not only do they expect their own children to refrain from alcohol or other drug use, but youth are expected to avoid being with friends while those friends are using alcohol or other drugs. More detailed information about this subject is providing in the Safety Section.