A motivation to bond with others in relationships that provide ongoing, positive interactions

Enable group survival Lead to children Enhance survival Preoccupy thinking and emotions Lead to healthier and happier life

Acts of excluding or ignoring Emotional abuse

Geographical nearness Functional distance: how often peoples paths cross

With repeated exposure to someone, our infatuation may fix upon almost anyone who has roughly similar characteristics and who reciprocates our affection

Anticipation of interaction
Expecting that someone

Can breed hostility AND can kindle liking

will be pleasant and compatible increases chance of forming a relationship

Mere-exposure effect: the tendency for novel

stimuli to be liked more after the rater has been repeatedly exposed to them

The wariness of the

unfamiliar describe our prejudice when confronting those that are different

Based on the study of Elaine Hatfield and colleagues, 1966

The more attractive a woman was, the more he liked her and wanted to date her again. The more attractive the man was, the more she liked him and wanted to date him again

Matching phenomenon
The tendency for men and women to

choose as partners those who are a good match in attractiveness and other traits

The less attractive person often has compensating qualities

Physical-attractiveness stereotype
The presumption that physically attractive

people possess other socially desirable traits as well

Bart Simpson effect

Homely children are less able and socially

competent than their beautiful peers

To be attractive is to be perfectly average Beauty signals biologically important information: health, youth and fertility

Contrast effect: exposure to perfect 10s is to make ones own partner seem less appealing
Warm and likeable people seem more attractive. Love sees loveliness

The more similar a persons attitudes are to your own, the more likeable you will find the person
Complementarity: the popularly supposed tendency, in a relationship between two people, for each to complete what is missing in the other

A persons liking another cause the other to return the appreciation We perceive criticism more than sincere praise
Ingratiation: the use of strategies by which people seek to gain anothers favor

We most like someone who liked us after initially disliking us

Nice words might have more credibility than

not-so-nice words. Or perhaps after being withheld, they are especially gratifying

Constant approval can lose value

Low self-esteem individuals tend to underestimate their partners appreciation for them and reciprocate with less generous views of their partners and therefore less happiness with the relationship

We are attracted to those we find it satisfying and gratifying to be with Reward theory of attraction
We like those whose behavior is rewarding to

us or whom we associate with rewarding events

Sternbergs 3 components of love

Passion Romance and physical attraction Intimacy Warmth, closeness and bondedness Commitment Decisions involved in maintaining over time

Equity principle of attraction: what you and your partner get out of a relationship should be proportional to what you each put into it.

Results to a relationship where trust displaces anxiety and where we are free to open ourselves without fear of losing the others affection
Disclosure reciprocity effect: Disclosure begets disclosure.

Married after age 20 Both grew up in stable, two-parent homes Dated for a long time before marriage Are well and similarly educated Enjoy a stable income from a good job

Live in a small town or on a farm Did not cohabit or become pregnant before marriage Are religiously committed Are of similar age, faith and education

Myers, D. (2012). Exploring social psychology (6th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill

_______(2002). Social psychology (2nd ed.). New

York: McGraw-Hill. http://nathensmiraculousescape.wordpress.com/2 011/05/31/sternbergs-love-typology/