Domestic Violence Training for New Staff and Volunteers

Exploring
The context for our work Self care and other practices that sustain us What it means to experience domestic violence

Perpetrators of domestic violence

Responding to domestic violencewhat we do Responding to domestic violencehow we do it Legal issues related to domestic violence

The context for our work The language we use

Battered women
Victims of violence Survivors

Domestic violence

Intimate partner

violence
Violence against women Family violence

What does it mean to use inclusive language?

The context for our work The battered womens movement

Second wave of feminism in the 1960s and 1970s.

Influenced by the civil rights and anti-war movements.

Used battered women to break through historic

euphemisms.
Consciousness-raising groups: a safe way to share

experiences.
Survivors created safe havens and communities of

support.
These led to the first publicly funded shelters for battered

women and their children.

The roots of intimate partner violence Unequal power

Unequal power between men and women is the context in which heterosexual battering exists.
It is also the context in which most Americans grow up. A relationship model in which one party holds greater power and control provides the foundation for GLBT battering.

The roots of intimate partner violence Patriarchyor male domination

Patriarchy or male domination is the social structure underlying nearly every culture around the world. It dictates that men, by virtue of their gender, are entitled to control women and children. There are many different traditions in cultures around the world that keep women from attaining social and economic independence and thus maintain patriarchy. Violence against women is one of the most powerful of these.

The roots of intimate partner violence Racism

Racism in the United States continues to put communities of color at risk, disproportionately burdening them with unemployment, poverty, and poor health outcomes compared to white people. Risks may be exacerbated for families experiencing domestic violence.

The roots of intimate partner violence A violation of basic human rights

It has been observed that the concept of human

rights is one of the few moral visions ascribed to internationally.

Domestic violence violates the principles that lie at

the heart of this moral vision: the inherent dignity and worth of all members of the human family, the inalienable right to freedom from fear and want, and the equal rights of men and women.

The roots of intimate partner violence Impact of the media

The media portray family and community violence as

commonplace, if not normative.

One report estimates that a child who was two years

old in 1993 would have witnessed 7,000 murders on television by seven years of age.
That same child would have been exposed to

100,000 televised acts of interpersonal violence by high school graduation.

Repeated exposure desensitizes viewers because

the pain and other effects of violence are minimized or not shown.

The context for our work Approaches to domestic violence

The battered womens movement Domestic violence is rooted in gender inequality. A feminist, survivor-driven, empowerment-based movement A social justice and anti-oppression

approach

Institutional racism, classism, and homophobia reinforce unequal power in relationships. To end domestic violence, work for social justice and an end to institutional oppression.

The context for our work Approaches to domestic violence

A human rights approach Domestic violence is a public (as opposed to private) issue requiring a public (as opposed to private) response.

A public health approach Focuses on the prevalence, health impact, and societal costs of partner violence. Prevention is the key to responding to these impacts and costs.

The context for our work Incorporating perspectives of survivors

Im a formerly battered woman and a survivor of

incest, and Im not a victim and Im not a client. Im a woman in this struggle.
For Shelter and Beyond

Today I am more than a survivor.... I have learned

to love others and myself...I continue on my healing journey and take great pride in who I am as an Indian and a lesbian. I advocate for women and children who have the right to be safe.
KJ, Sharing My Story, in Same-Sex Domestic Violence Strategies for Change

The context for our work The roles of men

Men are working alongside women in

organizations historically run and operated solely by women.

Local and national campaigns

Educate men and boys about domestic violence. Form alliances with battered womens organizations. Work to create a future with no violence against women.
The White Ribbon Campaign

The context for our work Some principles to guide our work
Race, class, and culture impact the way people

experience domestic violence.

Our own race, class, and cultural experiences

influence how we do the work.

These are lifelong explorations.

The context for our work Race and racism

We have been taught that there are naturally occurring

and clear differences between people that describe distinct groups such as Black, White, and Asian.
Science has shown that these beliefs and assumptions

are incorrect.
These beliefs serve no useful purpose but create false

senses of separation and eventually false notions of superiority and inferiority. This is what racism is.

If race is a myth, why not ignore it?

Racially motivated stereotypes have given

rise to inequalities that pose the greatest barrier to equitable opportunities and results for people of color in this country. recognize their existence and work consciously to address them in all aspects of our work.
Race Matters: How to Talk about Race, The Annie E. Casey Foundation

These barriers can only be dismantled if we

Understanding racism
Racism
An ideological system of oppression...based upon unfounded beliefs (prejudices) about racial or ethnic inequality

Prejudice
An unjustifiable...attitude held by an individual or group toward another group and its members...usually based on unsupported generalizations (stereotypes) that deny recognition of individual members of the other group

Privilege
An invisible package of unearned advantages and benefits that people inherit based on their membership in a societys dominant group
Adapted from the Community Builders Tool Kit

Institutional racism
Institutional racism refers to the differential access to the resources, goods, and services of society due to differential educational, financial, recreational, and social opportunities by racial identity. Given that mainstream domestic violence response models were based primarily on the experiences of white, middle class women, services and response systems may not be equally appropriate for, or available to, women, men, and children of color.
The Boston Public Health Commission

Class issues The myth of upward mobility

The American dream
Economic success and social achievement are available to any one who follows the rules and works hard.

The American reality

Most children who are born to poor families remain poor all their lives.

Children born into middle class families almost never move beyond that class.

An expansive definition of culture

...the shared experiences that develop and evolve according to changing social and political landscapes. It includes race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, class, immigration, location, time, and other axes of identification understood within the historical context of oppression.
Culture Handbook, the Family Violence Prevention Fund

Principles of culturally competent domestic violence services

Be mindful of personal biases and prejudices. Recognize our own histories and our experiences in

relation to those we serve.

Acknowledge the power we have over the lives of

those we serve.
Celebrate the diverse values we bring to the work. Learn about the cultural contexts in which survivors

meet us.

Reflecting on cultural complexity

As a Black, lesbian, feminist, socialist, poet, mother of two including one boy and a member of an interracial couple, I usually find myself part of some group in which the majority defines me as deviant, difficult, inferior, or just plain wrong. I simply do not believe that one aspect of myself can possibly profit from the oppression of any other part of my identity. From my membership in all of these groups I have learned that oppression and the intolerance of difference come in all shapes and sizes and colors and sexualities; and that among those of us who share the goals of liberation and a workable future for our children, there can be no hierarchies of oppression.
Audre Lorde

Prevention
How we work to prevent intimate partner violence

Provide community education on domestic

violence and our services.

Participate in community efforts to develop

inclusive, holistic responses to intimate partner violence.

Provide direct services to survivors in ways

that educate and empower those we serve.

Prevention A community-building perspective

Help community members prioritize family violence. Support strategies that do not stigmatize people as abused or abusers. Remember that communities mobilize within their own cultural contexts. Explore ways to hold perpetrators accountable without relying too heavily on either the criminal justice or child welfare systems. Build the capacity of individuals to intervene with family members and friends.
Preventing Family Violence: Community Engagement Makes the Difference Family Violence Prevention Fund

Secondary traumatic stress

STS [secondary traumatic stress] ... is a normal and universal response to abnormal (violence induced) ... events.

The enduring or negative effects of this response, however, can be prevented from developing into a disorder (STSD).
Janet Yassen, Preventing Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder, in Compassion Fatigue, Coping with Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder in Those Who Treat the Traumatized

Secondary traumatic stress

Signs

Contributing factors
The nature of the work Personal history Current life events Fear of the unknown Cumulative exposure

Decreased energy Disconnection Numbing Hopelessness Cynicism Anger Nightmares

Secondary traumatic stress disorder

The price we pay if we do not attend to secondary traumatic stress:

Compassion fatigue Burnout

Preventing secondary traumatic stress disorder Practicing self care

Physical activities Psychological or emotional care Attention to our spiritual needs

that promote a feeling

of well-being

that promotes mental

balance

to remind us of our
connections to nature and to people

Engaging in social activism

Preventing secondary traumatic stress disorder Maintaining boundaries

Boundaries are unspoken limits in relationships between those who provide services and those who receive services. Maintaining boundaries gives those we serve a real sense of safetythey can focus completely on their own needs.

Boundaries remind us that our power to guarantee safety is limitedthe survivor is in charge of her or his life.
Boundaries remind us of the power differential that is inherent in our relationships with survivorsthey help keep the power in balance.

Preventing secondary traumatic stress disorder Receiving quality supervision

Quality supervision helps prevent STSD:

When it is prioritized and guaranteed.

When it provides ongoing and structured support.

When it helps us to be accountable for our work on
behalf of others and to ourselves.

What it means to experience domestic violence

In some ways, the experience of domestic

violence is universal.
In some ways the experience of domestic

violence is particular to the communities and cultures in which the violence strikes.
Understanding this is a cornerstone of an

empowering and trauma-informed response.

Defining domestic violence

Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive and

controlling behaviors that one person uses over another to gain power and control.
Domestic violence exists along a continuum that

includes:

Verbal abuse Emotional and psychological abuse Physical abuse Sexual abuse

Types of abuse
Verbal abuse

Verbal abuse takes many forms

Constant criticism Threats Belittling of one's abilities Direct threats of harm to

and competency Insults Put downs Name calling

the victim Threats to harm or leave with the children Threats to relatives or friends

Types of abuse
Emotional, mental, and psychological abuse
Emotional, mental, and psychological abuse include:

Controlling access to friends, school, work, or family Forced isolation and imprisonment Intimidation Using and manipulating a persons fear of physical harm Threats to harm others Threats of suicide

Types of abuse
Physical abuse
Physical abuse includes: inflicting, attempting to inflict, or threats to inflict physical injury, such as:
Slapping Hitting Biting, Kicking Punching Use of objects to

inflict pain and injury Choking Pushing

Physical abuse is almost always coupled with verbal and emotional abuse.

Types of abuse
Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse includes any sexual contact without consent or any exploitive or coercive sexual contact
Unwanted fondling Rape Oral or anal sodomy Treating a person in a Inappropriate touch Intercourse Attacks on sexual areas of

the body
Use of objects or weapons

sexually derogatory manner

Forced pregnancy or

The withholding of

contraceptive methods

abortion

Teen dating violence

Reciprocal use of non-sexual violence among teens

appears to be common.
Teen females sustain much more sexual violence than

teen males.
The more community violence, the more likely there is to

be dating violence against female teens.

GLBT youth in same-sex dating relationships are as likely

as heterosexual youth to experience dating violence.

As minors, teens face barriers to accessing confidential

services.

Domestic violence among elders

The longer the relationship the harder it can be to imagine a life apart from the batterer. Judges may hesitate to order an elderly perpetrator to leave the family residence. Adult children may conspire to protect the parent batterer and/or minimize the impact of the violence. Our elder protective services law mandates reporting of suspected abuse of an elder by a caretaker. Shelter services for frail abused elders may not be adequate to meet elders' needs for accessible services.

Trafficking and sex work

Individuals who have been forced into sex work

have needs similar to those who survive sexual and domestic violence.
Many have had to endure extreme forms of

physical and mental abuseincluding rape, torture, and starvation.

Violence is the norm for those in prostitution.

Violence against people with disabilities

Personal caregivers can abuse people with disabilities in unique

ways. They might: Withhold medication, personal care, or medical equipment. Refuse to fix meals or feed the person. Withhold access to communication such as interpreters and TTY.
Dependence on the perpetrator can increase vulnerability.

A person with disabilities may be economically dependent on

the abuser.
Accessible shelter can be difficult (or impossible) to locate.

Domestic violence in GLBT communities

The threat to reveal the partner's orientation

to family or to an employer can result in job loss and the destruction of life-long relationships.
Historic homo/bi/transphobia of law enforcement

can leave GLBT victims of violence believing that the police will not help them to secure safety.
Courts do not necessarily enforce laws uniformly

though gay and lesbian people have some legal rights. Knowing this, many GLBT people hesitate to turn to the legal system for protection from abuse.

Domestic violence in communities of color

This countrys history of violence against communities of

color can leave victims of violence doubting whether that system is able or willing to respond to violence perpetrated by one person of color against another.
Black women who are battered may find themselves in an

exceptionally difficult position within the Black community.

The images and expectations of African-American women are actually both super- and sub-human. This conflict has created myths and stereotypes that cause confusion about our own identity and make us targets for abuse.
Evelyn C. White, Chain Chain Change

Domestic violence in immigrant communities

Legal protection

Immigrants too often assume that the law is not available to protect them from abuse.
Distrust of government and law enforcement

Some immigrants have come to the U.S. following experiences of brutality in their countries of origin. They may be deeply distrustful of government in general and of law enforcement in particular.

Domestic violence in immigrant communities

Fear of deportation

Fear can keep a non-citizen victim of violence from seeking help.

Language and culture

Domestic violence agencies/organizations may not have staff or volunteers who are able to connect with a person whose first language is other than English and whose first culture is other than North American.

Common myths about domestic violence

Drugs and/or alcohol cause abuse to occur.

Stress (problems at work, financial problems, and so forth) causes abuse. Only people of color and poor people are abusive in intimate relationships. When violence happens in relationships, the victim has usually provoked it.

Abuse is a momentary loss of control. Abuse rarely results in serious injury. Abuse in an intimate relationship is a private matter and others should not interfere.

There is no such thing as marital rape.

Challenges to leaving a violent relationship

Leaving can be dangerous The hope for change is strong Isolation Societal denial Economic dependence Threats of retaliation

Leaving is a process

Domestic violence and sexual assault

Sexual assault is any sexual activity that is forced or coerced.

Rape, as defined by Massachusetts law, has three elements:

There must be penetration. There must be force or the threat of force. The act must be against the will of the victim.
Sexual assault is one of the ways in which perpetrators abuse

their partnersit is not separate from domestic violence. the perpetrator means that sexual assault is a common component of intimate partner violence.

The fact that the vast majority of sexual assault survivors know

Society's myths and misconceptions about sexual assault are pervasive

When rape happens it usually happens to

someone who is in some way to blame.

Women secretly fantasize about being

raped.
Once a man is sexually aroused, he is

unable to control himself.

These myths are part of the complex dynamics contributing to a victim's belief that reporting rape is a fruitless undertaking.

The impact of domestic violence on adults who are battered

They have fear of being battered again. Economic dependence keeps victims in abusive relationships. Battering is the single major cause of injury to women, more significant that auto accidents, rapes, or muggings. Psychological harms include: Low self-esteem Depression Post traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD)

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

PTSD is caused by an overwhelming life experience that is not digestiblephysically, emotionally, or spirituallyand that impacts the body, the mind, and the spirit.

Post traumatic stress disorder Symptoms

Recurring nightmares Intrusive and frightening thoughts that can occur anytime Extreme emotional and/or physical reactions (chills, heart

palpitations, panic)
Hyper vigilancealways being on edge
Feeling emotionally detached and withdrawn Inability to concentrate

Feeling jumpy and being easily startled

Post traumatic stress disorder Emotional consequences

Survivors with PTSD
May have a hard time being loving family

members.
May avoid activities, places, and people

associated with the traumatic event.

May be so emotionally drained that they have

trouble with basic daily functioning.

Post traumatic stress disorder Avoidance and numbing

Individuals with PTSD may try to avoid situations

that trigger memories of the traumatic event.

For some trauma survivors avoidance takes the form

of seeking distractions that enable them to avoid thinking about the traumatic event.
Numbing is a common strategy for avoiding the

possibility of having to re-live the traumatic events that caused PTSD.

FLASHBACKS

Imagine experiencing the most terrifying horror movie youve ever seen playing over and over in your mind. You cant make the images go away..

Dealing with flashbacks: some ways to help

Gently remind the person that this is a flashback, that the actual event is over, and that she or he has survived. Encourage slow breathing, focusing on the inhalation and the exhalation. (When there is panic, the body takes short, shallow breaths, leading to a decrease in oxygen and heightened anxiety. Increasing the oxygen in our system by slow breathing helps reduce anxiety.) Gently urge the person to return to the present by looking around and taking note of the colors in the room, listening to the sounds that arise and pass away.

Depression

Depression is one of the most common consequences of domestic violence.

Depression is NOT the result of laziness, weakness, personal failure, or lack of will power.

Symptoms of depression
Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells. Loss of energy or persistent fatigue or lethargy. Significant change in sleep patterns (insomnia, sleeping

too much, fitful sleep).

Loss of interest and pleasure in activities previously

enjoyed, social withdrawal.

Inability to concentrate, indecisiveness.

Thoughts of death or suicide.

Suicide

Suicide is neither an illness nor a condition. It is a complex set of behaviors that exists on a continuum, from ideas to actions.

Warning signs of suicide

Withdrawing from social contact.

Wide mood swings, from emotional highs to deep lows.

Preoccupation with death and dying. Talking about suicide, including making such statements

as "I'm going to kill myself, or "I wish I were dead.

unsafe driving.

Risky or self-destructive behavior, such as drug use or

Giving away belongings or getting affairs in order.

Saying goodbye to people as if they won't be seen again.

Questions to ask someone considering suicide Direct questions are best.

Are you thinking about dying? Are you thinking about hurting yourself?

Are you thinking about suicide?

Have you thought about how you would

do it?
Do you know when you would do it?
Do you have the means to do it?

Complex PTSD

Complex PTSD is a result of repeated or

chronic infliction of traumatic violence.

Victims have enormous difficulty coping or

responding to offers of assistance.

Complex PTSD Some signs and symptoms

Feelings of extreme disconnection Fundamental changes in relationships to others Fundamental changes in basic belief systems

Radical changes in self-perception

Altered perceptions of the perpetrator

Victims are often diagnosed as having bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or other mental illnesses. Addictive substances provide an escape from the pain.

Impact of domestic violence on children

Children in homes where domestic violence occurs are

physically abused or neglected at a rate 15 times the national average.

Children exposed to the battering of their parents suffer

the same harm and display the same symptoms as children who are actually abused.
If untreated, trauma of this degree may thread its way into

adulthood, appearing as emotional instability; the formation of volatile relationships; lagging work productivity; substance abuse; and inconsistent, if not abusive, parenting styles.
The majority of studies of abusive men find that a high

percentage of them come from homes in which there was abuse of a spouse, a child, or both.

Impact of domestic violence on children

A sober look at our world reveals ... all too many children struggling to move forward, but [who] are being diverted, or even blocked by the adults who surround them.... Abused women and front-line staff in shelters have spoken out for over a quarter century about violence in the lives of women and children. Gradually, social scientists have 'validated' these observations with increasing evidence that witnessing violence is neither a benign nor passive event. Violence and the misuse of power and control may gradually traumatize even the most resilient of hearts and minds among our children.... [It is] our strong belief that stopping violence and healing from its effects are possible only through a coordinated, multi-system response.
Peled, Jaffe, and Edleson, Ending the Cycle of Violence: Community Responses to the Children of Battered Women

Perpetrators of intimate partner violence Characteristics of perpetrators

An inflated attitude of entitlement that manifests as a tendency to dominate not only intimate partners but others as well Possessiveness toward a partner and/or possessions, which appears as intense jealousy

A tendency to be easily offended and an explosive temper, with the result that relatively minor disagreements can rapidly escalate
Generally low self-esteem

Perpetrators of intimate partner violence

Brother, I don't want to hear about how my real enemy is the system. i'm no genius, but I do know that system you hit me with is called a fist.
Pat Parker

Batterer intervention vs. anger management

Anger management:
Addresses general violence.

Batterer intervention:
Is designed to focus on

perpetrators of intimate partner violence.

The targeted violence tends The targeted violence is a

to be characterized as a momentary outburst.

Focuses on simply

pattern of behavior that uses violence to achieve control over one person by another.
Focuses ultimately on

managing one's behavior.

changing belief systems.

Perpetrators as parents
There is a high correlation between

partner abuse and abuse of children.

Batterers often use children as pawns in

their efforts to control and torment their partners.

Perpetrators as parents The implications for services

Conduct family-centered safety planning. It

takes into account the batterer's behavior toward the children.

Collaborate with batterer intervention

programs.

Crisis intervention skills

The ability to listen fully and attentively

Listen with empathy, respect, and acceptance and without interrupting.

The ability to assess the situation

Understand the callers level of crisis and help to clarify the situation so that the caller can make action decisions.
The ability to support action

Support the callers effort to examine alternatives and settle on one or more action steps.

SafeLink (at Casa Myrna Vazquez) Statewide, toll-free, domestic violence hotline
(877) 785-2020. Confidential response 24/7/365. In English, Spanish, and Portuguese with access to

TTY and translation services through on-call specialists at the ATT Language Line.

Safety planning Direct linkage to emergency shelter Resource linkage to supportive services such as counseling and legal advocacy

Danger assessment instrument

The Danger Assessment was developed by Dr. Jacquelyne C. Campbell in 1986 with consultation from battered women, shelter workers, law enforcement officials, and other clinical experts on battering.

It includes a 20-item instrument that uses a weighted scoring system to count yes/no responses of risk factors associated with intimate partner homicide.
The Danger Assessment is available as a free download at http://www.dangerassessment.org

Advocacy

Providing information and support to a person

who is working to achieve self-defined goals

Taking action to achieve specific goals

Empowerment
Empowerment is a process that supports a survivors

intrinsic inner awareness, strength, and capacity to gain the skills and knowledge needed to exercise positive power in her or his life.
The empowerment model assumes that every

survivor has personal and community strengths that can be summoned in support of safety and recovery from the effects of domestic violence.

Trauma informed services

Trauma informed services refers to a way of

responding to survivors that takes into account the likelihood that those who seek services will have experienced (or will still be struggling with) a depth of intimate partner violence that causes trauma.
Trauma informed services respond to the

specific experiences and needs of survivors.

Empowerment counseling

Empowerment counseling invests survivors with self-confidence and authority to act by offering support, resources, advocacy, information, and education. The goal ... is to equalize power between a survivor and a counselor thereby enabling shared growth.

Susan Schecter

Empowerment counseling skills

Non-verbal communication and attending skills

The ability to reflect content The ability to reflect feelings

Clarification and problem identification skills

The ability to educate and share information

Mandatory reporting Mass. General Laws, Chapter 119, Section 51A

Any [mandated reporter] who in his [or her] professional capacity shall have reasonable cause to believe that a child under the age of eighteen year is suffering serious physical or emotional injury resulting from abuse inflicted upon him [or her]...or from neglect including malnutrition... shall immediately report such condition to the [Department of Children and Families].

Massachusetts General Laws Chapter 209A, Abuse Prevention

Section 1. Definitions As used in this chapter the following words shall have the following meanings: Abuse, the occurrence of one or more of the following acts between family or household members: (a) attempting to cause or causing physical harm; (b) placing another in fear of imminent serious physical harm; (c) causing another to engage involuntarily in sexual relations by force, threat or duress.