Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Changing Emphasis
To be covered
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. End the sentence with emphasis Avoid weak starts Alter expected word order for emphasis Keep related words together Add emphasis through repetition
Changing Emphasis
Changing Emphasis
For example
From an informative essay about dogs (not archeology):
The dog is actually the first animal to be domesticated by humans, according to archaeological findings.
Edited for better emphasis: According to archaeological findings, the dog is actually the first animal to be domesticated by humans. And again: According to archaeological findings, the first animal to be domesticated by humans was [drum roll] the dog.
Changing Emphasis
The opening
is the 2nd most emphasized spot in a sentence
Therefore, avoid expletivesit + be-verb or there + be-verband other weak, wordy openings. Such phrases are neither nouns nor action verbsthings nor actionsand things and actions are generally just what we want to emphasize generally.
Changing Emphasis
Weak opening: It is the governor who sways the towns people to violence. Edited for better emphasis: The governor sways the people.
For example
Weak opening: There are problems that have not been addressed for years now. Edited for better emphasis: Problems exist that have not been addressed for years.
Or even: Certain problems persist (persist = have not been addressed for years).
Changing Emphasis
More examples
Weak opening:
imperative.
Weak opening:
There was an amazing light show that filled the sky. An amazing light show filled the sky.
Changing Emphasis
Changing Emphasis
For example
Ill go with you. < fact With you I will go. < declaration
Changing Emphasis
More examples
Blessed are the peacemakers. In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.(J.R.R.
Tolkein, The Hobbit)
What they talked of all evening long, no one remembered next day. (Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine) There on the tiny stoop sat Pecola in a light red sweater and blue cotton dress. (Toni Morrison, The
Bluest Eye)
Changing Emphasis
He found only one good sale. < fact, implying many good
sales were expected
Only he found a good sale. < different fact (no one else
found any good sales; hes amazing)
Another example
Don Henry, or the Vampire King of California, testified to only consuming the blood of his girlfriend one-to-two times a week. (As opposed to other vampires who consume considerably more.)
Or is it
Don Henry, or the Vampire King of California, testified to consuming only the blood of his girlfriend (and no other food whatsoever) one-totwo times a week.
Changing Emphasis
And a modifier will modify the nearest word, whether intended or not
You can call your mother in Beijing and tell her all about Dan taking you out to dinner for just two dollars. Oops. Is that what you meant? Will
your mother like this cheap guy?
For just two dollars, you can call your mother in Beijing and tell her all about Dan taking you out to dinner. Oh cheap phone card.
Changing Emphasis
Changing Emphasis
For More
About revising for emphasis, here.
Changing Emphasis