Definitions

Self-concept: Picture or perception of ourselves Self Esteem: Feelings we have about ourselves
Self-ideal: The way we would like to be

INFANCY
When parents fulfill baby's needs, baby feels loved

Feed Dry diaper Being held This begins development of good self-esteem

LOVE
Babies have been known to die from not being touched
CHILDHOOD:PRE-SCHOOL YEARS

High self-esteem comes from

being supportive being accepting being encouraging

SCHOOL AGE
Peers begin to be very important in terms of their acceptance and approval

Low self-esteem comes from

name calling nick-names put-downs Cliques forming The popular VS. The nerds Some people feel left out

High self esteem comes from

High self esteem comes from being good at something Praise from teachers, parents, peers Accomplishing a task or a goal Succeeding in Music Athletics Studies Drama Art

Low self esteem comes from

People getting categorized
Brain Nerd Clown Athlete

Being compared to brothers or sisters

Not feeling comfortable about ONE'S BODY

Why aren't you as smart or pretty or athletic as your brother? Are you going to be a goof-off like your brother?

High self-esteem comes from

Realizing that you are not alone Face your problems Compensate for your weaknesses Have genuine friends

CONDITIONAL LOVE
Love with strings attached I will love you if If you behave If you get good grades If you play football

A person loved conditionally

Must EARN the love of the other person

Conditional love leads to low self-esteem

I am not good I am not lovable in myself

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
I love you for yourself Because you are unique Because you are worthwhile This is how GOD LOVES US

SELF-ESTEEM
Feel good about who I am Ability to stand up for what I believe Enjoy happiness about being yourself

No one can Make you feel inferior Without your Consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt

 How much do you believe in your self? On a piece of paper write down the percentage of how much you believe in yourself. 100%? 75%? 50%?
What are you achieving with that percentage? What would happen if you believed in yourself 25% more?

Dreams and self belief are free. You can take all you want and walk away.

Change the bad

Leader to others

Accept failure Doesnt submit to peer pressure Is not a threat to others

Appreciate life

Good Self Esteem

Willing to try new things Believes in self

REPAIR KIT
IN ELDER AGE

 Accept yourself: Stop worrying about the things you cant change. Be more accepting of others and the things they cant change.
Try not to compare with others. Its unfair. You may compare their strengths with your weaknesses. Judge yourself in terms of your own growth

Have Realistic Expectations We expect to much from ourselves. Perfection is not possible but bettering ourself should be a lifetime goal. We grow with models who appear to be perfect at everything. Heros are good to look at but they have their problems too.

 There are two different people in the world. One that says I wish I had and the one that says Im glad I did. Remember you can have anything in this world if you just believe in yourself.

Attitude
"Your attitude is more important than your aptitude in determining your altitude" (i.e., whether you have high self-esteem and happiness) according to Zig Ziglar.

Strengths
Find out what you do the best and build or improve on it. Spending time doing the things you enjoy and are good at. Keep a portfolio or scrapbook of your successes and strengths. Find a way to showcase your achievements in an appropriate way.

Associates
Associate with people of high selfesteem and those who generally care about you (e.g., friends, family, mentors). You only need one adult who really believes in you and from whom you gather strength.

How is self-concept build & destroyed

Building Find a good role model Praise & compliments Focus on the positive Keep criticism to a minimum Set & achieve goals Destroyed Comparing yourself to others Putting yourself down

Tips for building Self Esteem

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. Identify with people, books, videos, television shows, etc., that build your self-esteem Build others give sincere compliments often Think positively Set and achieve goals Do something challenging each day Look your best Eat correctly Do something for someone else Learn a new skill Act as if you possess traits you would like to have Observe self-concept people Handle things one at a time Use criticism constructively Ask for help take advantage of learning opportunities Improve your personal living space Allow personal growth time each day Post self-improvement reminders in obvious places Do not say negative things about yourself Reward yourself often List your accomplishments each evening Volunteer to share your skills with others

Positive Input
Watch your language and eliminate negative selftalk (e.g., putting yourself down or comments that discourage you). Your mind acts on what you feed it. If you put negative information in, you will get negative information out. Constantly seek to put into your mind information that will result in growth. Listen to self-esteem experts on videotapes or audiotapes or read their books. Learning is a life-long journey.

Believe in Your Own Self-Worth

Be confident yet be humble. Don't brag, but practice talking about some of your skills and abilities until you feel comfortable with them. This helps build confidence. Like yourself more and more. This is not conceit. Conceit is when you try to make others like you because you really are not sure if you are worthy of being liked. Feel about yourself the way you feel about people you love."

A Little Means A Lot

If you think a little of something does not matter, look how many big things are all used up eventually. For example, a big can of powdered hot chocolate mix or can of coffee or tube of toothpaste or bottle of shampoo. You may use a very small amount at a time, but eventually you use it all up. This helps explain why a little effort over a period of time ultimately results in a major achievement or saving a few pennies here and there finally can result in big savings.

Self-Knowledge
Identify your personal interests, strengths, weaknesses. How would you describe yourself? What adjectives would you like others to describe you? Take time to learn about your ethnic heritage. Read books about people who share that ethnic background.

Self-Advocacy
If you have a disability, you eventually must develop the maturity, self-esteem, and confidence to take responsibility for it. You need to be informed about what it is, be aware of how it affects you, know what you can do about it, and what accommodations to which you are entitled. For example, if you have a reading disability, you may need to have tests read to you, books on audiotape, or extended time on tests. It might not be appropriate for you to have to read aloud in class.

Problem-Solving
Feel more empowered by thinking of different solutions to a problem.

The Golden Rule

Treat others the way you want to be treated. "Life is an echo. What you send out comes back to you. Help others without any expectation for something in return. Especially do things for others that are less fortunate than yourself. Charles Dickens said, "No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of someone else." Try to do some charitable or volunteer work. Self-esteem is not limited to feeling important and worthy but also demonstrating a responsible attitude toward others.

Build Your SelfConfidence

Because then you will be more likely to try and learn something. If you do not have selfconfidence, you will not give yourself the chance to succeed. You'll fight against the chance if you think "I can't."

Ideal vs. Actual Self

You have an image of your Ideal Self. Then, how you perform and live every day is your Actual Self. The more your Actual Self matches your Ideal Self, the better your selfesteem. The greater the gap between the two, the lower your self-esteem.

"Dream

Big Dreams; Then Put on

Your Overalls. "
You have to be willing to pay the price to reach your goals. A lot of people dream about accomplishments, but they will not reach them unless they work on them every day. As Thomas Edison said, "All things come to him who hustles why he waits."

Cope
Learn to cope with adversity in life. It can strengthen you. The community leader, the self-made millionaire, and the homeless person all faces frustration, defeat, disappointment, and sadness, but they have a different reaction to the negatives of life. We can't control the situations which confront us, but we can control our reactions to them.

Program Yourself for Success

Stop saying things that make you feel stuck like "I'm _______" and replace it with "I used to be ________." Stop saying "I can't" and replace it with "Up until now I haven't been able to ______." Just make "little steps" toward your ultimate goal. Start with a small step that you are confident you can handle. Then transfer that confidence from the first accomplishment to the next step. This gives you added confidence to accomplish the second step. Your self-image improves with each step. This is called accomplishment feedback. This will develop a habit of success. Be realistic so you do not feel overwhelmed or eventually disappointed.

Connect
Connect yourself to something bigger than yourself such as joining a club, organization, a religious group (if you are a person of faith, a team, et cetera).

Normal Ups and Downs

Realize that it is normal that your level of selfesteem fluctuates. Everyone feels discouraged and worthless from time to time.

You Are Not Your Work

Getting a low or failing grade is a measure of your performance, but it does not measure you. Just because you fail at something does not mean you are a failure. Also, the grade may not be a permanent indicator of your skill or performance because you can try or practice some more.

Be Well-Rounded
Build your self-esteem by being wellrounded. Do not have "all of your eggs in one basket." Learn several skills. Cultivate many interests and many close relationships. Help many people and causes. Like smart stock market investors, put your money in many businesses so if one or two decline in performance, others will make money.

You Can Control Effort, Not Results

Don't consider yourself a loser if you were not the best; sometimes you cannot control the outcome. But, you can control how much time and energy you invest in working toward your goals. Consider yourself a winner as long as you keep trying your best. Anything less doing your best will eventually make you feel bad about yourself.

Get Motivated
If you want to get motivated, determine how dissatisfied you are about a situation. This can inspire you to change. Another way to become enthusiastic is to learn everything you can about something--whether it's a topic, a
job, a sport, or a hobby.