Vincy Chen Janterm Final Paper Professor Sharpe 28 January 2011 Femininity The second wave women's movement

started because of gender inequality. The movement encouraged women to understand aspects of their own personal lives as deeply politicized, and reflective of a sexist structure of power. Women started protesting for legal abortion, free child care, and equal pay. They demanded the end of discrimination in the work place. Diane Bianchi, a second generation Italian from an immigrant family, came of age during the second wave women's movement in Oakland, California. She grew up in a middle class family and lived a happy childhood without any struggles, but as an adult, she struggled to earn a college degree. Diane's life shows that being a woman in our patriarchal society has prevent her from reaching her highest potential. Sexism based on gender roles played an immense part in women's lives in the 1960s, which is shown through Diane's life in terms of childhood, education, work, and family. Diane's childhood illustrates a society enforced gender role. As a child, she was a very shy and a quiet little girl. She loved to play imaginary games with her dolls. She also loved to read and thought going to the library is a very neat thing to do. Moreover, she loved music and she frequently played the piano. On Saturday, she would have to do chores with her mom and sister, which she dislike doing. Some of the responsibilities around the house were to vacuum, mown the lawn, take care of the garden, and maintain her bedroom. Also, she would also help her father's janitor business by going to clean the clients' houses. As she was growing up, she would never do anything to embarrass her parents in anyway. She was always concerned about making her parents proud with whatever she did. Even when she went out with her friends, who would drink alcohol, she did not participate. Diane's doing chores at home conveys the idea of women staying at home

and taking good care of the house. As a child, she already learned to do chores instead of going out and playing with her friends. All these traits that Diane learned as a child taught her how to be a good mom, wife, and housekeeper. Playing with dolls captures the difference between genders. In our society, girls are supposed to like dolls and play with them. Since girls are playing with baby dolls at such a young age, they acquire the skills to succeed in being nurturing mothers. They learn to associate themselves role playing as a mother. After they grow up to be a woman, they do not question if they have the ability to nurture their own baby. These dolls reinforce that girls will become stay-athome moms to take care of their children. Playing with dolls taught her the mother role she eventually adopted after she got married. Moreover, playing the piano prepared her to be a woman that could entertain men such as her husband and guests. Playing an instrument reveals a woman's elegance. After becoming a mother, chores became an essential component of Diane's life. She cooked and cleaned for her family. Diane's obedience and submissiveness towards her family conveyed the teaching of family loyalty from her parents, the idea of being loyal to her family remained with her after she became a mother. Diane's mother is a very traditional woman, got married at a very young age and had Diane when was only twenty years old. Her mother was a housewife, stayed at home and took care of the children. Her mom did try to work small jobs but her dad found out and forbid her from continuing working. Diane's father is the traditional man of that period, who feels that having his own wife at work belittling him as the breadwinner. Her mother got married too young and never really got to know herself, keeping the house looking pleasant and welcoming at all times were her jobs. Her mother was very dependent on her father, relying on him a lot. Her father made most of the decisions and had the final say if something was to be purchased. The power between her

father and mother was not equal at all. Her mother gave her father a lot of power. Diane's mother life reflects many aspects of Betty Friedan's Feminine Mystique. At the end of nineteen-fifties, the average marriage age of women in America dropped to 20, and was still dropping, into the teens. Fourteen million girls were engaged by 17. Many of these got married too early and did not have enough time to pursue their dreams. They settle to be wives and mothers, and later in their marriage, realizing that 'Is this all?' Women were taught to search for satisfactions as wives and mothers. Popular magazine shows them how to keep a man's heart, how to clean their toilet, how to purchase household products. These were what women should interested in their every lives. A woman was considered neurotic, unfeminine, and unhappy if she wanted careers, higher education, and political rights. (Friedan). As Diane was growing up, she saw problems with gender roles because of the women's movement in the United States. Then,women were restricted and dependent on men. Even if they were abuse, they stayed with their husbands. For example, her uncle's mother was a brilliant woman. However, she could not get into law school, and instead become an alcoholic. There were limited spots for women in law school in the 1920s, so she did not get accepted. Even with her father having a good position at UC Berkeley. Struggles existed for women who did get in. Diane's uncle's mother's story reveals how society limited women to reach their goals in higher education. Even today, women are not treated as equal to men. If a man and a woman have the same job, the man will still get a higher wage than the woman. Strong women political and business positions get critic like Hilary Clinton is an example. Men are still dominating our culture, so women have a hard time getting their voices heard. There are still many things that are culturally accepted for men to do that women cannot do. For example, having affairs is acceptable for men in political position, but not for women. These men are not committed to a relationship.

Men still have privilege in today's society, said Diane. Women had to strive to receive a higher education. Diane grew up in a time period when women did not go to college. Also, she did not know what she wanted to do, so her father was not going waste his money sending her to college. Diane's father did not send her to college because he believed that women should get married and stay at home. Diane said if she were a man, she would have chosen a different career, because she would have had support and many options. There would be no limitations on what she could do. Her father would have used his money to send her to school, he would have been glad to see his son graduate from college. In the 1950s, one of the opportunities for women was higher education. By the late fifties, liberal middle-class families expected that their daughters would attend college. But many girls felt confused about the purpose of their education. Experts warned that every year a girl spent developing her mind reduced the probability of a woman marrying. A critic suggested that women should not received the same training as men, their place is in the home and their education should concentrate on homemaking and fitting them for their special roles as wives and mothers. It is more important that they put a good dinner on the table than that they talk Greek (Rosen). Diane's situation was the same because she grows up in family with the belief that women should get married and stay at home never made her thought about attending college. However, her gender held her back. Diane had a difficult journey in pursuing a higher education. Her father was not going to send her to college because at that time, most women did not went to college. After she graduated from High school, she did not know what she wanted to do and her father did not have the money to send her to college anyway. Actually, right before her father passed away a few years ago, he found out that since he served in the army, his dependents could have gone to college for free. High school was like a dead end for Diane. Her father sent her

to work at the Pacific Bell company. The job was so boring that she quit after a year and went to school instead. She was working the pink collar work, where most women shuffled, typed, and filed the avalanche of paper required by bureaucratic organizations. First, she went to a community college and then transferred to San Francisco State University. She dropped out during her senior year because she had to do a senior thesis but does not know what to do it on. The professors were too caught up with the political events that were going on campus to give her any advice and she was very tired from working and going to school at the same time. When she was going to college, there were a lot of protests in school. While there would not be a day that she went to school without seeing students protesting for the Vietnam War. She was not involved in any of the protests because she thought the real issues got lost in the media since the media would just show a group of crazy students on television. Later, she went back to school and finished her degree in marketing even though she started with a liberal arts degree. She thought the degree in marketing was not a good choice for her. She chose it because she wanted to do marketing for non profit organizations and she did well in marketing classes. She was working at a charter airline but lost the job for brining in an union. Then she went into law firm but decided that she don't like it. Finally, she knew what she really want to do is to go into education. She likes helping students, encouraging education, and understanding the struggles of first generation college students like herself. Diane saw men step into positions and get promoted while she was doing a much better job than them. For example, when she was working for World Airways, she was an administrative assistant. After men worker there got paid, they would not return any tools and sign proper paper work, so they were pocketing a lot of money. So, Diane created a system that would require the men to return all the tools and complete the paper work before they received their pay. One of the

men that she was working with at the time said that her system would not address the problem, he ended up getting a higher pay than her. The boss ended up using Diane's system and it worked very efficiently. Still, Diane did not got promoted. Instead, the man that disagreed with her plan got promoted. Later, she found out that the company was known for being sexist. Diane's incident with her male co-worker demonstrates about gender inequality in our society. In our society, even if a woman is better at a job than a man, she does not get any respect. Also, the man has a much higher chance of getting promoted than the woman back then. Diane's marriage proves the traditional marriage idea of A woman needs a master-slave relationship, the man must be the boss to be wrong (Clark-Flory). While going to college, she got pregnant, which made her life even harder. It is not surprising that Diane got pregnant in college. Many women then were having premarital sex. According to Clark-Flory, family responsibilities has become much more equal. Also, it is more indulging for both men and women. However, there is not enough encouragement of the idea that men, as well as women can be the breadwinners and nurturers. Yet, our whole political system, job structures and social expectations around work are based on the idea that person who works will be totally available and will have someone else to take of obligations. So, women end up trying to go back and forth between the roles, and men don't really get access to bot (Clark Flory). However, Diane's marriage is different than her parents, which signifies the success of the women's movement. Because her father is such a patriarchy, she was very determined not to married a controlling man. She and her husband are both breadwinners and nurturers. They help each other on the house. They divide the household responsibilities very fairly. Since her husband grew up with a working mother, he was not tied to the idea that women are not supposed to work. At home, they make decision together for the family. Actually, she takes more initiative than her

husband. She is the one that manage the family's finance, but she still discussed them with her husband before any decision is made. Diane's taking initiative illustrates the changing of gender role to be more equal in our society. Since she grew up seeing her father having so much power over her mom, she knew that she did not want to be like her mom and not have any power in the family. Diane's initiative shows how men see their wives are under to be everything-super-achiever wives and mothers at the same time. Her husband reveals that men have really stepped up to the plate at home, but our employers and our work system has not stepped up to the plate to make it possible for man to be a worker without having a full-time wife (Clark-Flory). Also, Diane represents the motherhood mystique, the idea is that you have to be there constantly to do everything for your kid (Clark-Flory). Diane loves reading to her children and bought many books for them. They did many activities together. According to Clark-Flory, this has been accelerated by our economic problems. As the gap between rich and poor has widened, and the middle class has hollowed out, parents are ever more concerned that their kids won't do well as they did. I think moms in particular feel this tremendous pressure to make every moment a teachable moment and get them into all the things that will help them succeed (Clark-Flory). Diane choose to work at Saint Mary's College because it is close to her family. It was not a personal choice, but rather a convenient option for her to take care of her family and work at the same time. She wished that she could have explored what she really likes more instead of settling down for a job because of her family. Diane's career choice demonstrates the cultural norm of valuing family responsibilities more than careers in regards to women. Sadly, Diane's workload could not be adapted into her family's responsibilities, this conveys that marriage does not work if both interested in having careers and having families. As stated by Clark-Flory, the career

mystique applies to both men and women, which is the idea that an actual career have to be fulltime and year-round-particular during the period when you are young and climbing up the job ladder, which is exactly the period when you're forming your family. The career mystique means being the last one to leave the office. Anyhow, it is the negative side of the feminine mystique because the wife has to stay at home to take care of the breadwinner(careerist). (ClarkFlory) Even though Diane is a mom and works at the same time, she is still passing down some traditional gender roles. When she was a child, she learned to be loyal to her family. Now, when she chose her job location, considered her family first, not herself. She sacrifices her career, so she can take better care of her family, and her husband can be the careerist. However, she did take what she saw from her mother and applied it to her own family while still managing gender equality in her marriage and having a job. Diane ended the interview of how she felt about being a woman. She is over qualified to achieve more in life but society held her back because of her gender. She always thought she needs more. She needs to learn more and knows more. She wants to be better than men but she does not have the confidence. Diane enjoys her job helping students especially first generation college students. She did not have many resource when she was going to college, so she did not received any strong advice, just like many women then. Diane is making change for the future by supporting the first generation college students of today. Though Diane still could escape the fate of playing her role as a woman, things are starting to change after the women's movements. She is now having a career and taking of her family at the same time. Diane shows that a real woman can have a career and family at the same time if one knows how to balance it well. Now, more and more women are attending college. Most colleges

have a higher population of women than men. Moreover, men are taking their part of responsibilities in the households.

Works Cited Clark-Flory, Tracy. Why feminism was good for marriage

Friedan, Betty. The Feminine Mystique Rosen, Ruth The world split open : how the modern women's movement changed America Publisher New York : Viking, 2000