Handout #1

Negative Outcomes of Conflict

1. Decreased productivity. 2. Relevant information not being shared. 3. Unpleasant emotional experiences. 4. Environmental stress. 5. Excessive consumption of time. 6. Decision-making process disrupted. 7. Poor work relationships. 8. Misallocation of resources. 9. Impaired organizational commitments.

Handout #2

Positive Outcomes of Conflict

1. Increased motivation and creativity. 2. Healthy interactions/involvement stimulated. 3. Number of identified alternatives increased. 4. Increased understanding of others. 5. People forced to clarify ideas more effectively. 6. Feelings aired out. 7. Opportunity to change bothersome things.

Handout #3

BASIC PRINCIPLES ABOUT CONFLICT

Facts: People see the same fact from distinctly different viewpoints. Methods: People disagree on how to do something. Goals: Values: The goals toward which people work are different. People differ in their basic values.

Conflict can be internal (felt only by us about an issue in our own mind). Conflict can be external (felt by us and at least one other person). Conflict can be direct (aimed at you). Conflict can be indirect (not aimed at you personally). Conflict can be individual (personal or shared by two people). Conflict can be shared (by three or more people). Whichever kind of conflict we are talking about, it usually appears to the person or persons "in conflict" in two ways: 1. Something perceived as unpleasant and which causes one anger, upset, guilt or pain. 2. Something one does, thinks or says which causes him/her to be upset because of mixed feelings about it and the choices one feels he/she may have to make. So, either kind of conflict can be engaged in directly (something done or said to you) or indirectly (something done or said around you which affects you and causes you upset). An argument between you and your administrator is an example of a

direct conflict. An indirect conflict, on the other hand, might take the form of a disagreement with a company policyeven though the policy was written for all employees. The policy was not aimed at you personally, but it affects you. Conflict can also appear as an emotion. You probably have found yourself torn between two or more choices and suffered what may be called "internal" conflict. Thus, conflict can manifest itself externally, where there is some type of dispute with another person or persons, or internally, where the dispute is inside. Conflict can also hide behind other masks. As you will see later, removing masks is essential to conflict resolution. At this point, it is sufficient if you can see the following general points about conflict: It can be active or passiveyou either create it or you feel it when it is created elsewhere. It can be directdone to you. It can be indirectnot done to you, but you feel it. It can be externalexpressed in your reaction to outside circumstances. It can be positive or negative. It can be internala reaction to difficult choices which have to be made. It manifests itself in many ways and many places and often wears the guise of anger, stress, upset, sadness and even illness.

Handout #4

PRINCIPAL CAUSES OF CONFLICT IN ORGANIZATIONS

Misunderstanding (communication failure) Disagreements over resources Political conflicts (power) Role clashes Resistance to change Allocation and performance of tasks Cross-cultural confusion Personality clashes Value and goal differences Substandard performance Differences over work methods Responsibility issues Lack of cooperation Authority issues Frustration and irritability Noncompliance with rules and policies

Handout #5

COMMON REASONS SUPERVISORS AVOID CONFLICT

The belief that you just cant get anywhere with certain people. The belief that it is impossible to solve anything. Life and its difficulties are too complex. The belief that they should be able to solve it themselves. Feelings of being inadequate and incompetent Lack of skill and knowledge The need to be liked Learned messages about conflict Negative self-talk

OVERCOMING THE RECLUCTANCE TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT

Careful Preparation Positive Self-Talk Building confidence Practice conflict management skills Setting small goals and taking small steps Staying issue-centered (focus on the issue not personalities) Maintain perspective. Increase tolerance

Handout #6

THE CONFLICT CORE

Conflict emerges when disagreements, differences, annoyances, competition, or inequities threaten something important.
This is humiliating. Their lies could ruin my good reputation. I might lose my job.

I want my privacy. ANNOYANCE I deserve respect.

I might be attacked.

I hate feeling intimidated.

I can't meet my basic needs. I've been shut out.

DISAGREEMENT

I'm losing control

COMPETITION

She thinks I'm stupid.

This will bankrupt me. INEQUITIES He might hate me. I hate being humiliated.

My kids could get hurt.

No one will listen I wont be the expert any longer.

Handout #7

THE REAL CONFLICT

DISAGREEMENT

RESOLVE

CORE ISSUE

EMOTIONAL ISSUE

PERCEPTIONS

REALITY

Handout #8

THE CONFLICT TRIANGLE

PEOPLE
-Past history -Values, meanings -Relationships -Emotions -Behavior -Abilities -Decision-making

PROCESS
-How people communicate issues and feelings -Structures, systems, procedures -Norms -Personalities -Roles, jobs

PROBLEM
-Facts -Positions -Issues -Consequences of events -Perceptions -Interests, Needs -Solutions -Consequences of possible outcomes

Handout #9

INFLUENCING FACTORS ON HUMAN BEHAVIOR

Ones past experiences Ones self-image as one sees oneself, as one desires to be

Images one has of the organization, department, mission, services

Beliefs Viewpoints

Perceptions, experience of reality real and/or distorted

Ego needs Ones impluses, basic urges

REACTION TO CONFLICT SITUATIONS

Conditioning
Interpretations Morals Obligations Attitudes Need for respect

Conditioning
Rules of the family Mottos Habits/Customs Prejudices Need for social acceptance

ACTIONS

Attack

Evasion

Logical problem solving

Agreement

Submission

`Retreat

Adapted from The Supervisor and the Job, by Aaron Sartain and Alton W. Baker (New York: McGrawHill, 1978).

Handout #10

ARE THEY SOMEONE WHO...?

STYLE
1. DEFENDER

BEHAVIORS
Justifies and defends position

PHRASES
"Let me explain" "Yes, but..." "You don't understand" "Oh yeah?' "Says who?"

2. SOLDIER

Fights back, seeks revenge, threatens, punishes, insults, or berates the other person. Dictates the resolution, uses power of established authority. Redirects the discussion entirely or focuses on superficial issues, postpones discussion, complains to third party.

3. GOD

"Of course I'm right" "Do it my way"

4. DIVERTER

"The real problem..." "Let's discuss this later"

5. AVOIDER

Avoids at all cost, ignores, doesn't become involved in situations that are conflict prone. Smooths over conflict, emphasizes harmony, peace, and warmth. Expresses regret.

"Let's forget it" "That doesn't bother me"

6. HARMONIZER

"This isn't serious enough to fight over"

7. APOLOGIZER

"I'm sorry

STYLE
8. ABDICATOR

BEHAVIORS
Agrees with other person, takes the blame, feels it is hopeless and gives up. Expresses reaction by describing feelings. Tries to find a compromise, bargains so we can find a solution."

PHRASES
"You're right, I was wrong" "Oh well, it's no use trying" "When you ...I feel "I'm feeling ..." "Let's talk this over

9. FEELER

10. NEGOTIATOR

Handout #11

NINE STRATEGIC STYLES FOR MANAGING DIFFERENCES

The nine strategic styles, alone and in blends, are the tools available to manage disagreement. The labels used to identify each style are intended to be nonjudgmentalassuming all can be used effectively when well-executed and well-matched to the situation. Following is a description of each strategic style, general application guidelines, and an example

uStyle 1 Maintenance: Firm, Impersonal

A unilateral decision to maintain the status quo by avoiding or deferring action on differing views. Such non-engagement is usually constructive only as an interim strategy. Common Sayings: "Let well-enough alone." "Don't rock the boat." Application: When you need time to collect information, enlist support, augment resources, or deal with higher priority issues. Also, gains time to build rapport, let emotions cool, or allow recent changes to stabilize.

uStyle 2 Smoothing: Firm, Moderately Personal

Selling your views by accentuating benefits and glossing over, omitting or playing down alternative possibilities. Common Sayings: "Accentuate the positive." "Grease the skids." "What he doesn't know won't hurt him." Application: When you are clear about your viewpoint, but lack authority to require compliance, or don't have time or energy for a full-scale discussion. Also useful when you want to withhold complete information because you feel it would be hurtful to others, or because they lack the maturity to handle it.

uStyle 3 Domination: Firm, Personal

The unilateral use of power and influence to gain compliance with your views. Common Sayings: "As supervisor, I know whats best." "Do it!" Application: When speed or confidentiality are important; when you believe that others involved have little to offer that would change your mind; or when the issue is too trivial to waste time discussing.

uStyle 4 Decision Rule: Moderately Firm, Impersonal

The joint agreement to use an objective rule or external criterion (such as a coin flip, lottery, seniority system, voting procedure, test score, or arbitration) as the basis for deciding among competing views. Common Sayings: "Play by the rules." "Let's be fair." Application: When being fair and impartial is more important than the specific outcome of a disagreement; or when any of the proposed alternatives is better than a stalemate.

uStyle 5 Coexistence: Moderately Firm, Moderately Personal

The joint determination to follow separate paths without animosity. Use as an interim strategy when it's expensive or confusing to operate two different systems in parallel to accomplish the same purpose. Common Sayings: "Let's agree to disagree." "You take the high road, and I'll take the low road." Application: When both parties believe they are right, more compelling evidence is needed to persuade one to change views, and a wrong decision could be irreversible or costly.

uStyle 6 Bargaining: Moderately Firm, Personal

Jointly seeking to exchange something one party wants for something the other party wants through offers and counter-offers. Common Sayings: "Half a loaf is better than none." "You scratch my back; I'll scratch yours." Application: Use when each party can gain more from an exchange agreement than the best alternative available if no agreement is reached.

uStyle 7 Non-Resistance: Flexible, Impersonal

Even though you disagree with the other person's views, you unilaterally decide to offer no resistance, and to support diligent implementation of required action. Common Sayings: "Bend with the breeze." "Don't win the battle and lose the war. " Application: Use when you believe the other person has greater expertise than you; or when the issue is minor to you but important to the other person and you want to be seen as a team player.

uStyle 8 Supportive Release: Flexible, Moderately Personal

Even though you disagree with the other person's views, you unilaterally decide to support and encourage that person's initiative within stipulated limits or conditions. Common Sayings: "Time to try your wings and fly." "I support your right to be wrong." Application: Use when the other person is capable but lacks confidence, and you want to foster initiative and commitment.

uStyle 9 Collaboration: Flexible, Personal

A joint exploration by participants aimed at developing a synthesis of all informed, relevant views. The integration of views is realized through frank discussion of interests, probing of assumptions, and by empathetic listening. Common Sayings: "Let us reason together." "Two heads are better than one." Application: Use when the issues are too pivotal to be compromised; participants are trustworthy, capable, communicate skillfully and have adequate time for discussion. Use also when participants want to develop a closer relationship, or when commitment of all parties to the selected course of action is important for a successful outcome.

Handout #12

NINE STRATEGIC STYLES WORKSHEET

Instructions: Read the statements below and identify which style it represents. Place the Style number in the right column. Use the key below.

Key:
Style 1: Maintenance Style 4: Decision Rule Style 7: Nonresistance Style 2: Smoothing Style 5: Coexistence Style 8: Supportive Release Style 3: Domination Style 6: Bargaining Style 9: Collaboration

Statements
"When we relocate to the new building, if I can have a view office, I'm willing to reduce my space to make more room for a conference area. : "Personally, I wouldn't handle the problem in that way. But you've studied all the factors more closely than I and, as long as you stay within the general guidelines, I'll go along with your judgment. Let's talk about your results in two weeks." "Until you've been checked out on this equipment, here's what I want you to do. . ." "Joe, the most senior employee in the unit, is again generating needless paperwork. However, because he is scheduled to retire in two months, I'll use maintenance and defer suggesting changes to improve Joe's system until his successor arrives." Of all those who want to work overtime next week, we need only two. Can we agree on a lottery for those of you who haven't had a turn during the past year, or how about starting a seniority system for offering overtime assignments?" "Sorry, I can't attend your meeting. It conflicts with my wife's birthday and I'm planning to spend a night in the city with her. In choosing between your meeting and the dinner, I know you would want me to come down on the side of romance."

Style

Statements
I've disagreed with my boss's last three ideas, and I don't like her latest proposal but it's really a minor point in an issue that isn't critical. "Our productivity is so low that administration wants a written plan of correction by Friday. How are What action is appropriate for us to take, and how shall we respond to questions that are being raised?" "Let's agree to use both the current manual method and the automated method for three months until we can see which is most cost effective."

Style

Handout #13

SIX STEPS TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Step 1. Acknowledge that conflict exists

Step 2. Identify the real conflict

Step 3. Hear all points of view

Step 4. Together explore ways to resolve the conflict

Step 5. Gain agreement and responsibility for a solution

Step 6. Follow-up to review the solution

Handout #14

WHEN IS MEDIATION USEFUL?

Mediation may be effective when:
The issues are complicated by a strong emotional element. The parties know each other. Maintaining a relationship with the other party is important. One party feels uncomfortable confronting the other side unless someone else is present. The parties work together, or for other reasons cannot avoid the conflict. A decision must be reached soon. The parties doubt their own ability to work out the problem. Many people are involved or indirectly affected. One or both parties want to avoid formal proceedings.

WHEN IS MEDIATION NOT APPROPRIATE?

Mediation may be unsuccessful or even harmful if any of the following are true: A serious incident has just occurred and people are still too upset to carry on a useful conversation. You strongly suspect one party intends to use the mediation to escalate the dispute (to threaten, to gather information, to look good in front of the judge, etc.). One party seems incapable of listening to anything you say, or seems otherwise too disturbed to negotiate a workable agreement. The main problem is, in your judgment, unmediatable. Key parties are unwilling to participate.

Handout #15

GOOD MEDIATORS DEMONSTRATE THE FOLLOWING ABILITIES:

1. Establishes and maintains credibility 2. Demonstrates neutrality toward both sides 3. Manages effective contact and communication between the parties 4. Helps both parties determine, analyze, and understand all the facts 5. Listens for clues to a settlement 6. Conveys accurately information from and to both sides 7. Tries to keep the channels of communications open between the parties 8. Maintains discretion about what is said and how it is communicated 9. Insures that the concerns of all parties have been met as adequately as possible 10. Decides on actions that can be implemented swiftly and/or effectively 11. Considers whether the short- or long-term effects of the solutions are viable 12. Determines whether the relationship between the conflicting parties has been modified productively

Handout #16

TO UNCOVER, DISCUSS, AND DEFINE THE REAL PROBLEM

I. Allow ventilation to defuse emotions. 2. Suggest ground rules. 3. Ask open-ended questions to explore all sides. 4. Listen objectively. 5. Offer feedback to ensure understanding. 6. Define the problem and get the commitment to solve it.

SUGGESTED GROUND RULES

Everyone will be open and honest. Everyone will have a say and be heard. Everyone will listen to each other without argument or negative reaction, and have a positive, caring attitude. Opinions and feelings must; be supported by facts and specific behavior.

AVOID:
Making judgments about the conflict. Mentally rehearsing what the conflicting parties will say and do next. Assuming you know all the facts. Interrupting or completing sentences. Telling how the conflicts should be resolved without involving parties in the solution.

Handout #17

WAYS TO CONSTRUCTIVELY RESOLVE CONFLICT

Agree upon a common goal of resolving the conflict so everyone wins. Look for common ground. Demonstrate respect for the other person. Be open with your thoughts and feelings. Dont attack or blame the other person. Listen to the other person with an open mind. Value differences in viewpoint. Identify and understand your own and others conflict style.

Handout #18

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT WORKSHEET

1. Identifying the problem: As A sees it:

As B sees it:

The problem seems to belong to (A. B or both):

2. Communicating: The major barriers to open communication among all parties seem to be:

Communications would be improved if:

3. Negotiating a solution:

4. Implementing the solution:

5. Other pertinent information:

Handout #19

BUILDING COOPERATION
ASSESSMENT: Allow yourself time to calm down and to evaluate the situation Gather appropriate information or documentation Assess the points you are willing or unwilling to compromise on Assess what the other party(parties) wants Make a preliminary determination of the appropriate conflicthandling behavior ACKNOWLEDGMENT: Listen to the other partys concern Try to understand his or her viewpoint Be open to give as well as receive conciliatory gestures. ATTITUDE: Avoid stereotyping and making predeterminations Try to remain objective Remain as flexible and as open as possible

ACTION: Watch your own use of language Watch your nonverbal communication Observe how the other party communicates both verbally and nonverbally Stick to the issues; dont side-track Dont make promises you cant keep Dont present issues or solutions in a win-lose context Dont side-step the issues Be sincere and trustworthy

Action cont... Try to remain open-minded and flexible Use the conflict-handling behavior appropriate to the situation Revise your behavior according to how the transaction progresses Listen, repeat and clarify information ANALYSIS: Make sure all parties concerns have been articulated and considered Summarize and clarify decisions Review actions for making any changes