THE FEEL TECHNIQUE ~ II THE DEEP END THE MIND Now if all that wasnt deep enough, we now

go into the deep end. Some decisions have to be made in a moments notice. When you have to make a decision within a second, what does the mind do to help you? It sorts through a lifetime of information and then shows you the relevant pictures needed for your decision. From moment to moment, youre aware of how you feel, but know nothing of the unconscious processes that produced that feeling. For example, a strange dog comes out of nowhere while walking with a friend down the street. Within seconds hes in front of both of you. You bend over and pet the animal, but your friend backs off. What caused the different reactions to the same animal? You both saw different pictures of what you thought was likely to happen next. Youre not aware of those pictures as they flashed before your eyes for about 1/10 of a second. Though too fast to consciously see, it creates a sense in you of feeling safe or unsafe. Where do feelings of safety or danger come from? Feelings come from pictures that originate in the subconscious mind and flash or pop up too quickly to consciously see. Though youre not aware of having seen them, these pictures exert a strong power, anyway. These pictures flash before your eyes for a fraction of a second, and you trust the information coming from this inner, hidden guidance system. You trust it enough that you unconsciously base your reality on it. Somewhere between the conscious mind and the unconscious mind is the subconscious. The unconscious is that pool of knowledge completely hidden from consciousness. The subconscious is the information just below the surface of conscious awareness. The subconscious can be our vehicle to the psyches deepest part, the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind is the most direct link to the unconscious processes of the body. Though the sound of feel is a silent thought, it is heard within the subconscious. Repetition causes the subconscious to carry the invitation/command to the unconscious. It is the vibration (with meaning) that prompts the nervous system to respond.

The realm of vibrations is a difficult world to understand. The realm of vibrations is different then our level of existence. The realm of the subconscious and unconscious is also hard to grasp. Fortunately, understanding is not necessary to get results. Practice of the technique is. Physicists tell us that while your chair is solid enough to hold you, it is vibrating on an unseen, atomic level. This atomic, unseen world is nothing like ours, yet is the basis of all that is. The fundamental substrate of the universe is an atomic world of vibration. All life is vibration All life has a vibration. All existence vibrates. Activating a deeper level of awareness to stimulate the lower leagues of the innate mind is a potent strategy. Using vibration, the underlying level of existence, to stimulate the innate yields a new level of awareness. Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them. Albert Einstein Vibrations are very powerful. Thats one reason why truth resonates. Vibration is the language of all matter and energy in existence. Vibrations operate on an unseen level we cant fully comprehend. The subconscious also operates on an unseen level that we dont understand. With the exception of when youre sleeping and your conscious mind is shut off, you dont usually see the contents of your subconscious mind. Even so, the unseen subconscious does influence most of our thoughts and feelings. You can tell youre receiving help by unseen inner forces due to the ease with which thoughts come to you and how simply reactions arise. Psychology talks about the cognitive world were aware of as well as the subconscious world we know little about. Physics states that the world functions on a plane of

existence we can see as well as an atomic level we dont. Whether we look at the surface or consider that which cant be seen, all existence is unified through vibration. Whether a man looks passionately at the surface or dispassionately at the core, the core and the surface are essentially one in the same, words only making them seem different in order to express appearance. Lao-Tzu All existence and everything in it share the common property of vibration. Vibrations resonate on and through solid, liquid, atmospheric, and energetic levels. Vibrations exist on the level of thought. Vibration speaks to the core of being. A vibration with meaning speaks to the core of self. Understanding is not necessary. Doing is. The world is never quiet, even its silence eternally resounds with the same notes, in vibrations that escape our ears. Albert Camus The vibration of life is unceasing, so it cannot be heard in the quietest moment. FEEL induces a light trance that sends a vibration to the core. The hum of existence is too constant and unchanging to be heard. But the hum of being within resonates when the mind is in trance. Trance means going within to the core of self. Trance tunes into the vibration of being. The earth moves, but due to size and consistency, we dont feel it. However, we can feel the gravity that its movement produces. Existence has a vibration, but since its constant, we cannot hear it. Existence resonates at a pitch beyond our sight and hearing. Yet countless vibrations are all around us all the time. Vibration speaks to physical matter and meaning speaks to the core of self. Therefore, using a vibration with meaning has a strong influence within. All matter, all objects, all things in the universe have a vibration.

Inviting one vibration to another vibration is a potent intervention. The place where one vibration meets another is called a point of contact. Points of contact are wonderful opportunities for change. And you want to change. You came into this world as a completely feeling person. Your feelings got shut off and now you want to turn them back on. To be more alive and awake, you have to connect with your very foundation. There is a very big word for what feelings are based on. Its called epistemology. The definition of epistemology is: How you know what you know. But how do you know what you know? You can feel it. If youre hurt or angry, ask yourself how you can tell. The answer will always be: Because I can feel it!

FEAR Fear comes from the unknown. And while knowledge overcomes fear, fear can also comes from insecurity. Disconnections build a constitutional sense of insecurity within. When disconnected parts have an opportunity to mend there is an increased sense of security. When that happens, the pressure and electricity of fear lessens. However, undoing fear and its effects is a paradox, much like the Chinese finger test. To release your fingers from the trap, you must push them in, towards each other. You must first go further in before you can get out. Its the same thing with fear.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. Eleanor Roosevelt Overcoming fear first requires a step towards it. The vibration of FEEL activates and awakens you. Sometimes, waking up is uncomfortable. Sometimes you wont like what you feel or come to realize. Sometimes feeling afraid is a real possibility. Heres an example of someone who dealt with his fears directly. Buddha grappled with fear fairly head on. After Buddha found enlightenment, fear was never an issue. By definition, enlightenment means to lighten up. Buddha found enlightenment, but how did he do it? Buddha was a Prince whose parents kept him locked in their castle until he was an adult. His every possible need was attended to so he wouldnt want to go outside of the palace. Sheltering him from the realities of life, he never saw the pain and suffering of others. His parents created a mythical world of safety and security to keep him happy. They didnt want him to know what was going on beyond the palace walls. And they didnt want him to leave. One day, he looked over the castle walls and discovered some terrible conditions. While he lived in a world of affluence and comfort, he saw poverty and death. Seeing such terrible conditions for the first time in his adult life, he was devastated. He didnt know what to believe anymore. He was certain though, that everything he was told, knew, and ever believed was wrong. Realizing nearly all that he knew to be a lie, the Prince felt scared and very out of control. He was royalty, so he had the best instructors and teachers. But they had perpetuated his parents mythical world of comfort behind the palace walls. Knowing his sense of reality had been distorted, he wanted to know what truth was. But what would be the basis of his new sense of reality and his place in it?

He didnt know where to begin or what direction to go. He knew he couldnt count on his educators. He knew he couldnt trust his friends. And he knew his parents had lied to him about the nature of life since he was born. Very confused, he left the castle to search for truth. Everywhere he went he saw suffering, poverty and death. Buddha questioned the meaning of what he saw and how he felt. He had many questions with few or no answers. He had nowhere to go and no one to rely on for explanations. So, in the search for truth, he went inside himself. He picked a spot with a tree to sit under and then sat there for many, many weeks. The tree had a stream nearby so he wouldnt have to go far for a drink. During the time he sat there, he got hungry and horny and scared and confused. Over the long weeks, he had many strong feelings and a lot of mixed emotions. The nerve endings in his back and bottom ached from sitting for so long. His doubts would visit daily, pounding on his head that his actions were unheard of. Fear would come and whisper that hed soon be dead if he didnt eat something soon. Anxiety would scream in his mind that his sanity could not bear the strain much longer. Yet, except to drink and relieve himself, he sat there week after week, hardly moving. He felt his feelings more strongly because there was nothing else to do. He was uncomfortable and had more negative feelings then positive ones. The tree he sat under was out in the open and he could drink from the stream. But sitting there day after day was more like solitary confinement. So how did Buddha reach enlightenment? He He He He He He He faced his fears until they were faced down. faced his fears until they lost their context and form. faced them until they no longer had meaning within his experience. faced them until they had no basis in his reality. faced his fears until they could no longer come back. was not God and never claimed to be. was just a guy who would do anything to feel in control.

Buddha had to sit under a tree for a real long time to conquer his fears. You can use FEEL at your convenience and at your pace to face yours. A good many people spend a good part of their lives in fear. We are afraid of not being prepared, not being right or not being what we should. When fear escalates to the point of feeling scared, thats when it gets uncomfortable. Our natural response is to get away from the source of the feelings that make us scared. Though fear is a feeling that comes from inside, the source seems external. Feelings dont exist independently of you, but the cause usually appears to. If you get scared during FEEL, youll notice there is no external source to the fear. When the source of the feeling is clearly within and not outside, it can be a relief. The insight that fear emanates from within is another step towards dissolving it. Some advocate denying or ignoring fear in favor of love. Denying fear is a betrayal to the heart because thats where fear comes from. Life can be scary. Can you let it be ok to be scared sometimes? Life is scary, so fear is an emotion best allowed until its energy extinguishes itself. Fear can also contain or mask other emotions such as anger or sadness. When feelings of fear lessen to the point of diminishing, other feelings can then surface. When those feelings surface and are felt, they can release their energy, too. Feelings that are felt have a fairly short shelf life. If you begin to feel afraid while meditating on feel, you can do one of three things. First, you can continue with FEEL until the feeling subsides. Or invite the sound of feel to the area where the fear is located. Or you can stop using the technique for a day or so. FEEL connects you to yourself. FEEL connects you with emotions. Emotions include fear. Allow yourself to feel scared.

However, allowing yourself to feel the sting of fear has its limits. Dont want to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by fear unless it feels right to push through that feelings. Take all the time you need during the mediation to be certain that that feels like the right way to go. Emotions include fear, which comes from the heart, but panic is in the head. DO NOT USE this technique if you feel high anxiety or are subject to panic attacks! Panic is a symptom of an earlier disconnect or the inability to nurture yourself. (The inability to nurture your self is the unlearned ability to do so.) If you use FEEL when feeling panic or while under emotional assault youll feel worse. FEEL may activate a memory where a part of you is still stuck. You can tell when a memory is unfinished because you have an aversion to recalling it and when you do, it seems to go on and on forever. If an unpleasant memory comes up while using FEEL, continue to focus on the sound unless you feel overwhelmed. One feeling thats good to allow yourself to feel overwhelmed by, however, is grief. It is the nature of grief to be overpowering, so its ok to feel it. When a feeling is intense, yet it feels right to stay with it, allow the feeling. Otherwise, stop and use the Feel Technique another time. If overwhelming feelings continue, its a sign of unresolved issues and inner pain. Severe emotional pain may require more attention than a technique can offer. If the feelings get worse and memories wont go away, therapy might be the answer. If feelings come up during the use of FEEL that are depressing, feel them. If you feel depressed before using the technique, seek a professional first. The state of depression is best explored with therapy, not FEEL. Yet, if feelings come up while meditating that are depressing, allow them if you can. Unless the feelings are panic or emotionally overpowering, or are getting in the way of daily functioning, let it be ok to feel your feelings for as long as you can. When the roots of fear are from a time when emotional or survival needs were threatened, facing fear can feel like facing death itself.

On one TV show, a character went into therapy to learn how to express feelings of anger and dissatisfaction to those closest to her. Her newfound expressiveness began to positively impact her relationships as each person she confronted acknowledged her feelings and agreed to change. With each encounter, the positive feedback increased her certainty that she was right to feel the way she did and correct to say something about it. The positive reinforcement she received made her voice stronger and firmer as she progressed from person to person. Her ability to clearly, concisely and with heartfelt assertiveness express herself began to dramatically change her life and transform her closest relationships in a concrete and meaningful way. Life began tasting sweet as things started to go more her way, as she felt in control for the first time in her life. Her husband couldnt take it, however, and killed her. The fact that her death was, in part, accidental, added all the more irony to this scenario because her TV death plays to our worst fears that we will die or something terrible will happen if we say what we really feel. Our fear of death, of course, is not rational. The death of others is not your death, though it can feel that way. You have never died, so death is only a concept. Though death is only an idea, the concept seems like more than a notion. Its hard to see past your fear about death to fully know that its only an idea. The fear of death is one of the scariest feelings you can have. When you face it, though, you discover its only a feeling. Feelings pass. Feelings of fear pass. As fear diminishes, you realize its only power over you was as a thought, nothing else. When you realize your fear is only an idea and a concept, something changes. The power given over to the thought immediately then transfers to you. Knowledge overcomes fear. The knowledge needed to overcome fear isnt always obvious. Thats why its helpful to learn how to see outside the box. Seeing outside the box provides a new perspective and new information.

Trusting your feelings helps you to think outside the box. Preparation is a requirement for success and achievement. Having a new or different perspective provides an advantage, as well. An alternative is a choice you dont know you have until you see it. Knowledge tells you what is needed. Wisdom tells you which direction to take. The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend. Henri L. Bergson Alternatives can help you avoid experiences that are avoidable. More alternatives mean more options and choices. More choice means better results and more satisfaction. Increasing your ability to feel adds input from the heart. Input from the heart helps the mind to think outside the box. Thinking outside the box provides different views and new options. At worst, alternatives show you a way to avoid unpleasant situations. At best, they show you how to reach your goals. You no longer have to face fear unprepared, without a plan. What can you do now that you couldnt do before? FEEL! Facing down fear and achieving unity of self is not easy. Fortunately, the Feel Technique is.

ARE YOU ALIVE? Heres a tough (and unusual) question that you can take a moment to consider: Do you feel totally alive or do you feel partly shut down? There are times when we all feel totally alive or partially shut down. And sometimes, you can feel somewhere and anywhere in between. However, most people feel shut down more often than they feel totally alive. Since almost everyone feels this way, its a safe guess that you do, too.

Why do most people feel more shut down than alive? Well, we do follow routines. And routines are, by nature, boring. Putting life on automatic while taking care of standard operating procedures can dull things down a bit. But its more than that. Lets look at it from the perspective of your emotional condition when you first arrived. After you won the race to get here, you arrived kicking and screaming and letting your needs be known, pretty immediately. Self-expression was not an issue upon your arrival. From birth to infant to toddler, expressing your needs was easy. From that point however, through childhood, adolescence, to young adult and then into adulthood, you learned to curb those needs and tuck them away. In the process of tucking, the heart, by degrees, shuts itself off. We come into this world with a heart as a tender root. The only way the heart can protect itself is to shut off or shut down. It is a tender organ and has no other way to stop emotional pain. The heart only knows how to feel! If that becomes too painful, it finds a way to stop. To the degree you didnt get enough love growing up, your heart stopped feeling. Once shut down, it doesnt often return to its former capacity to feel on its own. Turned off, fear of pain wont allow the heart to fully feel the need again. The cause of most intimacy disorders is due to a heart that is shut-down. All relationships in love, friendship and business depend on connection. If your ability to respond is hampered, it will hurt your connection with others. We all do the dance of intimacy where we get close and back away and get close again. But disconnections within the psyche restrict how attached were able to become at all.

By definition, an opportunity is a window that closes in time. When the opportunity to be satisfied comes around, you may not react fast enough to take advantage of it. If your heart is shut down, its easy to miss opportunities for satisfaction. We are symbolic creatures and symbols are more than important to us. Symbols hit so close to home that we trade away personal power for them. Symbols have such great significance, we easily lose ourselves in their trappings. A Cross, Star of David, or a Crescent Moon can instigate actions other things wouldnt. When the heart is shut down, its easier to get lost in symbols. We identify so intimately with symbols, we give up a lot of self to be closer to them. Many trade in feelings of aliveness and identity for symbols of money, love or power. Money buys freedom but it doesnt buy soul. Love feels good but it doesnt buy peace of mind. Power always feels good, but how much of it do you already give away? The Feel Technique creates a feeling off centered-ness and grounded-ness. Centered and grounded people are not very willing to give up their power.

EMPTINESS If youre doing things youd rather not be doing, emptiness is running your life. Emptiness is an emotion that controls you if youre doing things to make it go away. The experience of emptiness is a difficult emotion to allow yourself to feel. The feeling of emptiness is a difficult space to allow yourself to remain in. Emptiness is scary and uncomfortable, especially if you feel powerless to change it. However, the Feel Technique offers a new approach and a new perspective. You no longer have to face the emptiness unprepared, without a plan. So what can you do now that you couldnt do before? FEEL!

BOUNDARIES

Your skin and your sense of self separates you from others. A boundary is the space between you and someone else. A request that doesnt serve your interests is an invasion of your boundaries. A boundary is where you end and someone else begins, and visa versa. Boundaries are also your ability to say no. You want to define your boundaries and defend them. Its human nature that if you wont, no one else will. Defining and defending your boundaries is on of the best ways to keep mentally healthy. FEEL strengthens feelings. A stronger emotional base bolsters the balance between the heart and mind. A good heart / mind connection fosters more secure boundaries. Respecting and protecting your boundaries may still take effort. But a stronger sense and a willingness to say no, builds confidence. And confidence reinforces boundaries. Firmer boundaries help keep others negativity and doubts out of your head. Or at least to a minimum. Feeling more will increase self-confidence, which makes you more sensitive to others. Sensitivity that comes from self-confidence and not co-dependency is healthy. When youre more sensitive to others, they respond and become more sensitive to you. To have a friend you have to be a friend. Ralph Waldo Emerson

ON BELONGING Connecting with people creates a sense of well-being. Regardless of how friendly you are or not, human beings, as a species, need to belong. A long time ago, a hermit lived on the outskirts of a small European village. One day, a fire burned the entire village to the ground. No one was hurt, but now they werent sure if they wanted to stay there anymore.

So they decided to vote on whether to rebuild there or move and build somewhere else. The next day they voted to move far away. Soon after, they all left. So what happened to the hermit? He moved to the outskirts of another nearby village and became their hermit. A hermit cannot be a hermit without a village. You cannot be who you are without the context of others. We all need other people, even when we think we dont. So making a better connection with others leads to a natural feeling of well-being. Connecting in new ways produces a sense of well-being thats unexpected. Yet, even as we desire to belong in some way, getting close can be risky. Life comes with hits and hurts and plenty of themoften from those we most trust. As a child you get hit physically, as an adult the pain is emotional. Thats the way life is. If you can accept that life comes with hits and hurts, youll struggle with it a bit less. Life is a series of losing things. So sometimes letting go is the best strategy. Sometimes when you let it all go, it all comes back and comes back in a wonderful way. But letting go isnt so easy when youre stuck in the past. Letting go is something only you can do and no one can force you to do The advantage to meditation is that it calms the mind. A calmer mind allows you to let go more easily.

WORDS HAVE POWER Youre familiar with Patrick Henrys words, Give me liberty or give me death.

However, you dont know what he said just before that. You dont know who was around when he said it. You dont know what he was wearing when it happened. You dont even know what Patrick Henry looked like. But there is one thing you are certain of: The words he spoke that day.

Words have power. Some words have more power than others. Sound has vibration. Sound goes where other properties cant. Intention has direction. A plan with a goal makes a difference.

THE HEART AND NEGATIVE FEELINGS Sometimes doing your best doesnt get the job done. If that happens often, it might be due to something youre not seeing or dont know about. Dreams are hard to reach without the hope and stamina to catch them. Theyll be more difficult to reach if your heart is shut down. When the heart shuts down, qualities and characteristics of self are cut off. To the degree your heart shuts down, something is missing inside. When a part of self has disappeared for a long time, its not missed anymore. So you might not feel like there is anythings missing, at all. More often, though, you can tell something isnt right because of an emptiness you feel. The missing parts of self became lost when your heart defended itself and shut off. Traumas, abuse, neglect and loss can scar the heart, take a piece out, or break it. Negative or traumatic experiences can cause a barrier to form around it, as well. Scarred or blocked, the heart becomes emotionally weakened and closed down. When parts of self are lost, so too is the inner strength they could provide.

Everyones heart is scarred or blocked to some degree. Its an uncomfortable truth that must be accepted for any emotional growth to occur. There is a story of a woman in group therapy, who did a group exercise when asked to describe herself as a tree. She said that she was a big, strong, mighty oak with rich soil, and wonderful leaves, and so on. When the therapist asked how the tree got to be such a strong, mighty oak in rich soil, she broke down, tearfully admitting that she really felt like a burnt out stump but was too embarrassed to admit it. Once she acknowledged that she felt like a burnt out-stump, though, further exploration of the tree metaphor revealed a new branch growing from the back of that stump. Her ability and willingness to acknowledge her real feelings helped her grow past the negative feelings that were holding her back emotionally. When did she discover and admit her true feelings to herself? When a therapists question made her feelings so strong that she had to be honest. The strength of her emotions alone pushed the truth to the surface. Are you resisting feelings that keep you from new possibilities of growth and change? If negative feelings are a bad thing to be avoided, your fight will be a never-ending struggle. Like the monster blobs in science fiction that feed and grow stronger from the energy of the weapons turned on it, trying to avoid negative feelings is a fight that gives life and energy to the very negativity youre battling with. However, if you accept negativity as an emotion to be felt through and dealt with, it can then transform. Under ordinary circumstances, the woman in this example would not have revealed her true feelings. The heart knows how to protect itself, even if it means fooling itself and the brain and everyone else in the process. When feelings are so bad as to be painful, the heart shuts down. Once that happens, parts of self shut down along with it. The therapists question made her realize how she really felt and to allow those feelings. Overcoming negative feelings usually involves patience and encouragement. Thirty years ago a study was done on rhesus monkeys raised without parents and no contact with other monkeys or siblings. These monkeys were starved of contact, and as they grew into adulthood, their emotional state deteriorated to the point of exhibiting

symptoms of schizophrenia. Then, as adults, half of these schizophrenic monkeys were put into cages with normal rhesus monkeys. These monkeys were at an age where they were still young enough to be playful, but not yet old enough to be aggressive about it. Once in the cages, these younger monkeys playfully forced the contact deprived monkeys to interact with them. They pushed the withdrawn, socially inept monkeys into action and interaction. In the time it took for the younger, normal monkeys to grow into adulthood, the schizophrenic monkeys they played with became normal and fairly indistinguishable from the others. A heart thats shut down can learn to feel again. The heart can learn to feel, but it takes encouragement. FEEL stimulates the nervous system, which encourages the heart. The more your heart can feel, the better you will feel. The more your heart does feel, the worse you may feel, as well. Sometimes you have to feel worse before you can feel better. Thats the price of your aliveness. Is it worth it? Some think so. Do you? According to Alexander Lowen, author of Body Language, we all have mind-body disconnections and inner tension to one degree or another. Dr. Lowen uses a type of psychotherapy called Bio-Energetics to release tension stored in the body. He has examined thousands and thousands of people, and writes that of all the patients he had seen over the years, he had only one who had no psycho-pathology in their body. He had only one patient who didnt have any evidence of inner tension or mind-body disconnections.

Only one! The rest of us have mind-body disconnections, and the inner tension they produce rob us of our aliveness. Disconnections within may feel like a vague, generalized, hard-toput-a-finger-on lousy feeling; or may be felt in a specific area as negativity or tightness. Whether the feeling is generalized or specific, take time to discover where

in your body you feel it the most. Even if its a vague feeling, where can you feel it the most? Sometimes a negative feeling is experienced on the outside or around the body, as well. How you feel, respond, and perform emanates from central nervous system processes as well as the subconscious mind. Everything you do and are capable of doing is a direct result of the condition and responsiveness of your nervous system. However, if your subconscious mind has been programmed to where you are emotionally shut down, you wont have the presence of mind to achieve all that life will offer. The vibration of feel impacts your subconscious mind and your nervous system. When the vibration of feel reaches the unconscious, the vibration stimulates it to feel more. As the unconscious mind responds, you begin to feel more. Each time you use FEEL you reinforce this request and inner command. In time, as you develop a greater capacity to feel, you may also find episodes or times of increased enthusiasm and aliveness, as well Enthusiasm and aliveness can help you prepare for the next opportunity. They are essential ingredients for hope and stamina. You need hope and stamina to catch your dreams. Feeling more expands awareness, thereby adding points to your intelligence. One definition of intelligence is the ability to read between the lines. The ability to read between the lines requires a heightened level of awareness and a natural curiosity that comes with enthusiasm and aliveness. When you have more heart you have a greater understanding of what you feel as well as a better understanding of whats going on around you. An increased ability to read between the lines is always good for getting more out of life. The more you feel, the more you know. The more you know, the more you are. The more you are, the more you get out of life. FEEL builds the capacity of the heart to feel, so one admonition: Try not to do anything that would make your heart reproach you.

HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF LIFE Feeling more helps you get the most out of life by making more memories. Memories stand out because of the strong emotions tied to them. Take a moment to think about some negative memories from the past. Then, for a few minutes think about a few of the good times that stand out. After doing this simple exercise youll discover that both good and bad memories share one common characteristic: Strong emotions. It is the very strength of these emotions, either good or bad, that turns events into memories. Times most easily or vividly remembered have emotions attached to them. Events or circumstances that evoke little to no emotion are usually forgotten. It is the intensity of the feelings themselves that produce memories. Increasing the intensity of feelings disposes the brain to remember. More memories are proof youve gotten more out of life. More memories add meaning, and meaning adds value. Feelings make the difference in how we assemble our memories and remember them. Much of how we define ourselves comes from our memories. Memories influence our feelings and much of how we see our place in the world. Life is short and the end is always just a heartbeat away. He who dies with the most toys, dies. He who dies with the most memories, lived. Feeling more and with greater intensity turns moments into memories. Additional memories add up to you having lived more. Living more is the most you can get out of life. With the meditation on the sound of feel, you will feel more. While each of us is unique, many of us are sitting on some uncomfortable feelings. When you initially begin using FEEL, some uncomfortable feelings may come up. Is that going to be alright with you? If its not or you doubt your emotional strength to use FEEL, then dont use it!

However, if you feel like you can handle: Feeling emotionally uncomfortable for a short time. Allowing negative feelings and blocks to occupy the space theyre in for a limited time And not always knowing where a bad feeling could lead. Then youre ready for the first step towards your journey of self-knowledge.

RESISTANCE What you resist will persist. What you allow and create can dissipate. Resistance creates persistence. If you doubt this, try not thinking about a pink elephant for the next 30 seconds. Its not possible because resistance does create persistence. However, the opposite is also true. Creation allows for dissipation. So what you can allow, can dissipate. If your feelings are hurt and you allow yourself to feel the pain, the negative feelings will dissipate sooner than if you swallow them and try to forget about it. How long can an emotion last? Emotions can last a long time when theyre swallowed and stuffed down. Most emotions have a short shelf life, though, once you allow yourself to feel them. Feelings, even very bad ones, wont last when you allow yourself to feel. Increasing your capacity to feel helps create the emotional latitude for that allowance. Vain, very vain is my search to find; that happiness which only centers in the mind. Oliver Goldsmith

SAFE SPACE This section is about keeping you emotionally safe.

The Feel Technique is a powerful process because however simple it may be, it has the potential of bringing up negative feelings strong enough to be overwhelming. Thats why its important for you to know that you can keep yourself safe by not allowing yourself to be emotionally overpowered while using FEEL. Years ago I went into a sensory depravation tank. Closed in spaces dont usually bother me, but in this small box, it sure did. As I lay floating in the tank filled with water and Epson salt, I spent about fifteen minutes or longer checking the door to be sure I could get out anytime I wanted to. I had to reassure myself by pushing that door open again and again and again before I could relax. I needed to know I could get out of the tank anytime I wanted to. It was only after I reassured myself as much as needed, that I felt safe enough to relax. It was only after I relaxed that I began to feel the benefits. The situation is the same with the Feel Technique. Using FEEL, you will feel more. Benefits aside, its a new experience. New experiences usually take time to get used to. Its our nature that new is scary, even when its positive. So you need to know youre safe. You need to know you can stop the process of FEEL anytime you want. You need to know you can stop a feeling if you dont feel safe feeling it. You need to know youre safe and can park youre feelings anytime you want to. If you feel overwhelmed, you want to know you can stop the process and the feelings. You want to be able to park negative feelings, to put them away until you can explore them later or in a safer environment. If any feelings continue to overwhelm you while using the Feel Technique, therapy is the best prescription. One way to diminish the effects of negative feelings when overwhelmed by them is to change your physical position to one that feels less vulnerable. Whether going into a fetal position, face down on a pillow, or any other position, your body will let you know when youve found the right way to cut off a bad feeling.

Also, its important to postpone using FEEL if youre currently in an abusive or unsafe relationship. Before it is safe for you to feel all your feelings, you may want firmer boundaries in place. Boundaries are your ability to say no. Good boundaries make it safer to feel. If youre in an abusive relationship, feeling more is not a good idea at this time. You could be sitting on an emotional volcano. Please wait until the abuse issues are resolved before using the Feel Technique. When negative feelings come up, you can choose to be with them or stop the process. You can stop the meditation anytime. You are always in control. Dont overload your psyche. Theres no need to push yourself. The Feel Technique is a method. But it is also a way to move through uncomfortable feelings like fear and emptiness. And when negative or unwanted feelings do emerge during FEEL, you have a choice. You can stop or continue. If youre not sure what to do, stop for now. When in doubt, dont. Use FEEL another time. The mind has natural defense mechanisms. Defense mechanisms should not be tampered with nor overridden. So dont push yourself. Emotionalism may convince you that something is happening, but theres no need to push yourself to feel too much at any one time. Its the daily practice of FEEL that makes the difference, so be gentle with yourself. Time and repetition makes the difference, not effort. You can expect times of emotional or physical discomfort during FEEL. To the extent you can tolerate the intensity of a negative feeling, it can dissipate. However, dont push yourself to feel more than you can comfortably handle. The innate makes persistent uncomfortable feelings disappear, not conscious effort.

The woman in the tree exercise had growth in her metaphorical tree after she was able to acknowledge that it was a stump. When you can allow the negative feelings to occupy the space you find it in, it has the freedom to begin moving towards dissipation of the symptomsas well as moving your emotional growth. If you experience any physical or emotional negativity, welcome it for a while. Allow the negativity or tightness to inhabit and occupy the area you find it in. Struggling with it doesnt improve the feeling, but repeating feel does. Repeating feel stimulates the innate to resolve tension in the body and the psyche. The only conscious effort you need apply is making the Feel Technique a daily habit. We can consciously decide to think or feel differently to some degree, but for the most part, trying to control negativity often becomes a struggle. Persistent uncomfortable feelings originate in the inner mind and feelings come from within, automatically. So trying to consciously control unwanted feelings takes a good deal of effort. The subconscious processes that continually operate within us cannot be controlled. However, as the vibration of feel reaches the selfs control center, it can be influenced. You cant push the river, but you can give it time to bend.

THE ENERGIZING EFFECT In my own quest to learn how to get more out of life, Ive been to a lot of seminars. Many years ago I was in a seminar where I was given interesting instructions. When I tried it out, it had an amazing energizing effect. The instructor told us to keep telling our inner mind to wake up, and to do so for a few hours to see what effect it might have. Well, I did that and then some. Instead of a few hours, I did the mental exercise for a few weeks. For days on end I kept thinking and silently repeating Wake up. Wake up! After a few weeks, I was very impressed with the results. I felt more alert and was more responsive to the people around me. As I felt more awake, I was more amenable to those around me.

I found myself automatically taking a greater interest in their lives than ever before. More energized and alert, I had a new, natural curiosity about the people in my life. Naturally, when you take an interest in others, they find you more interesting, as well. As they reacted favorably to me, I saw them in an increasingly favorable light, and so on. So, after a while, the weeks grew to months and I was still using the exercise. What started off as a simple, almost silly exercise seemed to have a profound effect on me, my relationships, and my life. It was a peak, life-transforming experience. After several months, though, I stopped doing the wake up thing and was my old self again. After that, those who had been on the periphery of my life were soon back there. So, what happened? It worked, but I didnt stick with it. I didnt stick with it because the exercise was fairly hard mental work. It was hard work because wake up wasnt the right command. No more than relax, sleep, or calm down are. These are positive affirmations, which is just more mental training. Your head has already had a lot of training. You want to go deeper than that. Positive affirmations can bounce all around in your head, but they wont activate the central nervous system to feel more. The command I sent within to wake up was effective, but it didnt reach me, where I live. So, while the results were impressive, it took a lot of effort. It felt forced, so it didnt last. You can tell yourself something a thousand times with limited effect. You can silently repeat I feel better over and over again, but if your gut says differently, the good feelings youve talked yourself into wont hold. Thats why positive affirmations dont last and dont capture our attention over the long haul. While it holds true that what you put into something is what you get out of it, sometimes the rate of return differs. Whether an investment, a relationship, or even a

technique, the rate of return, what you receive from what youve put in will vary from person to person and circumstance to circumstance. We all share the universal desire to have a higher ratio of return. Whether its business or love, we all want more than what weve put in. Necessity is the mother of invention, but the father is certainly a higher rate of return. Fortunately, the Feel Technique produces a good return if used daily. Anyone would be happy to have a perpetual motion machine. A perpetual motion machine is a machine that creates more energy then it takes to run. A machine that creates more energy then it takes to run guarantees success. Men have dreamed of this device since the industrial revolution began. Unfortunately, the perpetual motion machine hasnt been invented yet. We all want a better rate of return. Whether finances or a relationship, its ok to want more. Just dont allow the quest for it to control you. Remember that acceptance is part of any formula for happiness.