The Zoo Job Story One day a clown was visiting the zoo and attempted to earn some

money by making a street performance. He acted and mimed perfectly some animal acts. As soon as he started to drive a crowd, a zoo keeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office. The zoo keeper explained to the clown that the zoo's most popular gorilla had died suddenly and the keeper was fear that attendance at the zoo would fall off. So he offered the clown a job to dress up as the gorilla until the zoo could get another one. The clown accepted this great opportunity. So the next morning the clown put on the gorilla suit and entered the cage before the crowd came. He felt that it was a great job. He could sleep all he wanted, played and made fun of people and he drove bigger crowds than he ever did as a clown. He pretended the gorilla successfully. However, eventually the crowds were tired of him for just swinging on tires. He began to notice that the people were paying more attention to the lion in the next cage. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he decided to make a spectacular performance. He climbed to the top of his cage, crawled across a partition, and dangled from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this made the lion furious, but the crowd people loved it. At the end of the day the zoo keeper came and gave him a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this went on for some time, he kept taunting the lion, the audience crowd grew a larger, and his salary kept going up. Then one terrible day happened. When he was dangling over the furious lion, he slipped and fell into the lion cage. The clown was really in big terrible situation. He was terrified. Sooner the lion gathered itself and prepared to pounce. The clown was so scared. He could do nothing and he began to run round and round the cage with the lion close and closer behind. Finally, the lion could catch him. The clown started screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion was quick and pounces. The clown soon found himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and suddenly he heard a voice from the lions mouth;"Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?".
(Re-written and simplified from www.onlyfunnystories.com)

What time is it? A tramp lie down and sleep in the park. He had been sleeping for about 5 minutes when a couple walked by. The man stopped, woke the tramp up , and asked him, "Excuse me. Do you know what the time is?" The tramp replied, "I'm sorry - I don't have a watch, so I don't know the time." The man apologized for waking the tramp and the couple walked away. The tramp lay down again, and after a few minutes went back to sleep. Just then, a woman, who was out walking her dog, shook the tramp's shoulder until he woke up again. The woman said, "I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'm afraid I've lost my watch - do you happen to know the time?" The tramp was a little annoyed at being woken up again, but he politely told the woman that he didn't have a watch and didn't know the time. After the woman had gone, the tramp had an idea. He opened the bag that contained all his possessions and got out a pen, a piece of paper and some string. On the paper, he wrote down, 'I do not have a watch. I do not know the time'. He then hung the paper round his neck and eventually dropped off again. After about 15 minutes, a policeman who was walking through the park noticed the tramp asleep on the bench, and the sign around his neck. He woke the tramp up and said, "I read your sign. I thought you'd like to know that it's 2:30 p.m." This example of spoof text is taken from www.kinglishschool.com/joke_tramp.htm

The Perfect Husband?

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$80,000." MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!" MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is???!!!"

Horseman In The Sky Carter Druse was born in Virginia. He was a southerner. When the United States was divided by a terrible civil war, Carter decided to join the Union Army of the north. He told his father about his decision to join the north army. His father looked deep into his son's eyes. "Carter, No matter what happens, be sure you always do what you think is your duty." One sunny afternoon, Carter was sent to guard. It was his duty to be sure that no enemy soldier spied on. Suddenly, he saw a man on horseback standing on the huge rocky cliff. He held a gun in his right hand, and the horse's reins in the other. Unavoidably, Carter pointed his gun. Carter was calm as he pulled the trigger. Soon after firing his gun, Carter was joined by a Union sergeant. "Did you fire?" The sergeant whispered. "Yes." "At what?" The sergeant continued. "A horse" "Was there anyone on the horse?" The sergeant asked again. "Yes." "Who? " The sergeant kept asking. "My father."

Honey, What's For Supper? An elderly gentleman of 85 feared his wife was getting hard of hearing. So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem. Here's what you do, said the doctor. Start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response. That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room. He says to himself, I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens. Then in a normal tone he asks, Honey, what's for supper? No response. So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, Honey, what's for supper? Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for supper? Again he gets no response. So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. Honey, what's for supper? Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. Honey, what's for supper? Damn it Earl, for the fifth time, CHICKEN! Note: This example of spoof text is taken from: www.joe-ks.com/archives_nov2003/For_Supper.htm

Should not Bring Mobile Phone to School; a Hortatory Text Sample

Recently most people own mobile phone. Why does mobile phone user increase dramatically in recent years? First, the feature and functions has increased. Mobile phone is not used just for calling, but sending text, taking pictures, recording videos, accessing internet, playing games and much more. Second, mobile phone has also become a lot cheaper. Now this communication device does not only fill the pocket of adult but also teenager and student. Even a lot phones are intentionally designed to teenaged market. However should they be allowed to bring them to school? Many schools do not allow students to bring cell phones to school. It is very reasonable because bringing phone to school potentially disrupts the learning process. Most students use cell phones irresponsibly. They use cell phones to talk to their friend during class time. They also use the calculator and camera features in the class as well. Those potentially lead less concentration in the time of learning and teaching process. Students go to school to learn and behave fair way. Mobile phones provide a large temptation to cheat in tests. They can communicate to anyone and almost anywhere in the world. Because of the small size of the cell phone, students can send a text quietly and discreetly. The text can go unnoticed anywhere to get help on answering tests, homework, and other class assignment. Learning in school is to behave fair not cheating. Therefore, schools should ban students from bringing their cell phones. However it should be done fairly. In case of an emergency some student need a call for help, providing easy access to phone is better.

Influence is the function of hortatory text. It forces the reader to act as the writer do. Let see the following example of hortatory exposition. Let's Make Campaign Of Reading Reading habit is poor among Indonesians because most people havent realized the importance of reading Reading is important to transform knowledge and technology. By reading, one knows the world. He or she will understand what he doesnt see by himself or herself. The lines of the paragraphs in an article contain pieces of knowledge. The knowledge is needed to improve the quality of humans life. Technology transformation from other country can only be done by reading a lot various sources of literature. Valuable books in libraries and bookstores mean nothing if they are not read. Realizing the importance of reading will make someone motivated to read. When we know that something is very important because it can give us valuable information, we will try to get or do the thing. For example, a businessman who always follows latest information or news, will know what to do in his/ her business. He will make a good decision to make a transaction. Most people in all developed countries have realized the importance or reading and they have good reading habits. In bus and train stations, vehicles, waiting rooms, parks, people like reading. They enjoy reading which gives them valuable knowledge and inspiration. A good understanding toward the importance of reading can be achieved by well organized and effective campaign. To plant an understanding in a generations minds is not an easy job. It needs a hard work from all components of the nation, especially the government. A serious campaign which is organized by the central and local government can help common people wake up and stand to face the real competition. The campaign can be done through various kinds of mass media such as TV, radio, booklets, bulletins, newspapers, magazines. It can also be conducted by teachers, parents and all people who care. Therefore, a nation-wide effective campaign of the importance of reading by all components of the nation should be done, facilitated by the government, to face the tighter competition. The world has forced globalization. Those people with little knowledge will be left behind. To speed up the better change in this country, a good reading habit is really important. Source: catatanliarsibetina.blogspot.com/2011/01/hortatoryexposition.html?zx=3d2d725dd1646ade

Ini contoh yang lain tentang text hortatory. This is another example of Hortatory exposition Watch our Kids while Browsing Internet Internet is one of important devices in student world. We can find many internet cafes anywhere. Actually, many houses have internet connection. As parents, we must know what our children are browsing in internet, because many programs have negative impacts to our children. In our observation, in internet have positive impact, for example : student can find their task in internet, and we can find update information or news when browsing internet. Internet also have negative impact if the parents dont watch their children when browsing internet. The children can open many program or website that have negative impact, for example, they can open pornography site, game online and the other programs that can make their mark go down in the school. And too much browsing internet can endanger their eyes. Based on fact above, we have some tips to protect our children: Dont put PC and modem set in your kids bedroom Make a schedule for browsing internet to our children. Review the history when your children finished browsing internet. Use filters program to negative site in your PC.

never try smoking A lot of people, especially teenagers, who do not smoke, always want to try smoking. They know it is bad for them and all, but it is just something they want to try. So they ask one of their smoker friends for a cigarette. Admittedly, they firstly can not light it on their own so they ask his friend to do it. Then they inhale that cigarette and smoke occasionally. Apparently that makes them the born smokers. Now they do smoke fairly regularly. They can not avoid smoking and they enjoy too. They have smoker friends. Everyday they bring a pack in their pocket. For them, a pack of cigarette is as important as a wallet for their money. Suddenly, for certain reason, they realize the fact that tobacco is the cause of a long list of nasty diseases. It is not only heart disease, stroke, and chronic lung disease but also bladder, lung, and pancreatic cancer. Even it was reported that around 400,000 Americans died each year. It was one every 80 seconds from tobacco-related illnesses. Then they decide it is stupid to harm selves. They want to quit smoking. Unfortunately, they find that quitting smoking is so difficult. Why can't I stop smoking? I really want to stop it. It is hard to quit because nicotine is powerfully addictive. Cigarette is one of the most efficient drugdelivery devices ever devised. As result, when people try to quit smoking, they often experience classic nicotine withdrawal symptoms such as anxiety, irritability, headache, depression, and restlessness. Well, still want to try smoke? Think the facts before trying! If you are not smoker, you should never and never try to smoke.

Online Job Online jobs are selected in part-time employment for many, and some have taken more seriously. A growing number of people are willing to take a job online. Working online has its advantages if we manage efectively. Why not? It offers flexibility and convenience that no other job can give. We can work from home with minimal investment and get a good income. The idea of adding weight to our pocket and makes life easier and comfortable is the most reassuring. The reason behind this great opportunity is that every day there are new companies to join. Every day and every minute men are seeking information aboute verything under the sky of the Internet. As we know, the Internet is the answer to every question, web sites need to update each section and also add reports on developments that have recently joined. Therefore, it is an expansive space for articles. There are a number of jobs we can work online. Some of them which strongly recommeded are writing, marketing, stock trading, and online education. However we should be very careful because scamming opportunities are always there.