The Pastor on Sex Sex according to Pastor Khathide.

A lot of people don't associate sex with God they associate it with Satan and darkness, as if sex weren't holy. The bible is explicit when it comes to sex. Sex is holy and there is no prescribed style. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the missionary position is the only sexual style. Not discussing sex in a relationship leads to divorce. Pastor Khathide has counselled women who've complained: my husband treats me as if I were his brother. There was one who told him: I am tired of getting sex fortnightly, like a salary. Khathide told her she was lucky to be getting sex fortnightly, since some wives only get it on big days, like elections. Many husbands leave their wives to seek sexual pleasures in Madeira. Have u ever asked yourself what those wives have that you don't. Wives have become very frigid and even sleep with their panties. If u're a married woman, u should sleep naked and let ur bum touch ur husband. Today you find men going out of their way to get a glimpse of a vagina. They page through magazines and even go to lingerie departments in stores hoping to see what's hidden under panties, because their wives hide it from them.

Marriage is about being free with your body in front of your partner. A woman should parade naked and do some modelling to tempt her husband. There are many married women who don't know what their husbands' penises look like. They only feel it when he enters her. They've never seen it or let alone touch it, because the husband switches off the lights before undressing. A penis is a wife's toy - she is supposed to play with it. He blames couples for not making time for sex and complaining about being tired after a day's work. U find many couples who've been sexually starved for years. God created sex for procreation and also for pleasure. You can't marry and not have a good time in bed. WHO SAID U CAN ONLY HAVE SEX AT NIGHT? Why can't u drive home during lunch and have a quickie with ur wife?

We're all equal in sex - it's not just about a woman satisfying a man. You have to satisfy each other. Have u ever seen a woman who has been satisfied? Have u noticed how she glows and becomes energetic? May the Lord Bless you

Female hormones are present in beer!!!!!!

Yesterday, university scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects: 1) Gained weight. 2) Talked excessively without making sense. 3) Became overly emotional. 4) Couldn't drive. 5) Failed to think rationally. 6) Argued over nothing. 7) Had to sit down while urinating. 8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong. No further testing was considered necessary. 'A poorly observed fact is more treacherous than a faulty train of reasoning'

Red hair - Can stupidity be cured?

After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician. "Doctor," he said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine." "Nonsense!" the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool." "It isn't possible," the man insisted. "We're pure Asian." "Well," said the doctor,"let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?" The man seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month. "There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It must be rust!"

Kuchipa kwe Medical Aid

A couple both age 37, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "what can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse", and charged them $46,000.00. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house The Holiday Inn charges $200,000.00 The Sheraton charges $250,000.00. We do it here for $46,000.00 and I get $32,000.00 back from CIMAS."

Hona zvinoita kunyimana

A guy on a date parks his car and gets the girl in the back seat. They make love, but the girl wants it again and the guy complies. She wants more and they do it again. She still wants more and the guy says, "Excuse me a minute, I have to relieve myself." While out of the car he notices a man half a block away changing a flat. He asks the man "Look, I've got this gal in my car and I've given it to her four or five times and she still wants more. I'll change your flat if you'll take over for me." So that's what the man does and he is just getting into "high-gear" when a cop knocks on the window and shines a light on them. The cop asks "What are you doing in there?" The guy says "I'm making love to my wife." The cop asks "Why don't you do that at home?" The guy answers "To tell you the truth, I didn't know it was my wife until you shined the light on her."

Musanyime vakadzi mari Vanochishandisa

One day, a wife goes up to her husband and asks for twenty dollars to buy meat. "Are you crazy?" says the husband, who pulls her over to a mirror. "Let me show you something? This twenty-dollar bill is mine. The one in the mirror is yours. Get it?" The wife nods. The next day, the husband returns home to find a freezer full of meat. Angry, he asks his wife about it. She pulls him over to the mirror and lifts up her skirt. "See the one in the mirror? That's yours. This one is the butcher's." What to do when caught Man gets home from work and finds his wife in bed with another man. He Was shocked and went to the sitting room trying to settle down. As if nothing had happened the wife brings her husband food after some time. Because of what he had seen- The husband just ignores: The wife goes on to say: Haiwa tidyirei sadza apa. Munogoramwa ndimi masvirwa here? What a blow? Careful of the pet you buy A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot."What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm sure you'll agree, and it's an absolute steal at only $20. "Why is it that cheap?" the woman asks. Well, replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity". "Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot". So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home. Once safely in his New home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman,"F==k me, a new brothel and a new madam" "I'm not a madam and this isn't a brothel,"says the woman indignantly. A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home. "A new brothel, a new madam, and now new prostitutes" says the parrot when he sees the daughters."Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not prostitutes" complained the girls,But they all see the 3

> > me, > > > >

> funny side and have a laugh at their > new pet. A short while later, the woman's husband comes home.Well f==k a > new brothel, a new madam, new whores, but the same old clients. How ya > doin', Andrew?" > Andrew just collapsed ........

Question and Answer Session Q: How can a woman tell if she is flat chested? A: She will look down her dress and the two bumps she sees are her knees. Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women ? A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with the them. Q: Why can't you trust a woman ? A: How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die? Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A. You can unscrew a light bulb. Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex? A: They can't stand seeing a man have a good time. Q: How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? A: Wipe your dick on the curtains. Q: Why do men die before their wives? A: They want to. Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for? A: Its Braille for "suck here". Q: Why did God give men penises ? A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Q: What is an Australian kiss? A: It is the same as a French kiss but only down under. Q: Define Bra?[simple words] A: A modern device used for the upliftment of the downfallen ones. Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms? A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around. Q: Why girls rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: They don't have balls to scratch. Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

BRAZILIAN ART WORK