SOLUTION-BASED, BRIEF PASTORAL COUNSELING FINAL PROJECT

By

Henry Limpet Student ID: 392871482771200383733847 [Disclaimer: The student/author of this paper has given permission for this paper to be used as a teaching tool. Your review will find some proofreading and formatting glitches; therefore, you should not conclude that this paper perfectly met the expectations of the assignment. However, it DID capture the essence of what is expected and offers a good pattern to follow. No part of this paper may be copied; doing so will result in automatic failure. This paper has been provided to demonstrate what synthesis can accomplish in this learning journey. Comments embedded or otherwise, will reference expectations your Professor will follow during the assessment of your Final Project. NOTE: This project was submitted prior to Spring B 2011; the Kollar (1997) text was used rather than his Updated and Expanded (2011) edition. Though this project is a good sample of assignments intent, it does not fully comply with current expectations. Build your project based on directions and guidelines established in the Final Project Instructions and Rubric.]

Presented to Dwight C. Rice, DMin (abd/PhD) In partial fulfillment of the requirements of Introduction to Pastoral Counseling PACO 500

Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary Lynchburg, VA April 1, 2011

Abstract

I am a single staff pastor of a small town Southern Baptist Church in Shingle Hollow, NC. The average Sunday morning worship attendance of Knotty Pine Baptist Church is 80 people. My overarching goal for life is to be an imitator of Christ, thus an effective and efficient instrument in kingdom work. I will be using a solution-based, brief approach to pastoral counseling based upon the Hawkins Pastoral Counseling Scenario and Assessment Model as well as Kollars (1997) Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling. After reviewing the case study I have decided to choose Bruce as the care-seeker requesting an appointment for counseling. Bruce has a D relational style and is in the blaming position. The request for counseling has occurred after the trial and involves the conflict between Bruce and his youngest son Brody. Brody is withdrawn and distant and Bruce is impatient and somewhat angry with his youngest son due to the fact that he is greatly struggling in how to relate to Brodys interests and different ways of coping with his recent loss.

Table of Contents ABSTRACT THE PASTORAL COUNSELING SCENARIO PART 1: THE COUNSELING SETTING PART 2: THE COUNSELORS STYLE PART 3: THE COUNSELING STRUCTURE/STRATEGY Phase 1 Phase 2 Phase 3 Phase 4 PART 4: THE COUNSELING SUMMATION REFERENCES APPENDIX A APPENDIX B APPENDIX C APPENDIX D APPENDIX E APPENDIX F GRADING RUBRIC 26 27 31 33 35 37 39 9 9 13 17 21 22 25 4 6 2

Part 1: The Counseling Setting (Leadership Orientation) A Rationale for using a Solution-Based Brief Pastoral Counseling approach In a society that has no shortage of so called experts in psychology and problem focused counseling techniques, olution-based, brief pastoral counseling (SBBPC) is like a breath of fresh air as it puts the careseeker into the drivers seat as an expert in self-care (Greenburg and Ganshorn 2001, 1). The fact remains that no matter how much theological or psychological training a counselor may have had, he or she is not an expert on the client (Kollar 1997, 89). The person seeking counseling may need help or guidance in finding solutions to certain problems or challenges in life, but the fact remains that only he or she can effectively solve the problem by discovering solutions for themselves, and not just rehashing the problem and all of the negative energy associated with it to the counselor. This fact is what makes solution-based, brief pastoral counseling both unique and effective. The focus is on solutions, and this gives the counseling process a power and purpose unlike any other. The counselee will find that they alone have the perspective necessary to discover solutions to their problems, and they alone with the help of the Holy Spirit have the power to change their life by implementing these solutions simply and gradually into their lifestyle. An overview of the Process As the name implies, SBBPC is also brief. In describing the process as brief, it should be noted that the counseling sessions will be limited to no more than five, with each session lasting around one hour to an hour and a half maximum (See appendix C). The reasons for this are the proven effectiveness of short-term counseling models and the often

severe time constraints on every pastors time. Short term counseling should not be thought of as inferior to longer term models, and has actually been shown to be quite effective (Benner 2003, 42). The effectiveness of SBBPC is due largely to the fact that the counseling process is solution and goal oriented and follows an aggressive agenda of solution-focused changes. The counselee will be assigned goal oriented homework between counseling sessions that will be critical for counseling success (See appendix C). There will also be a scheduled ten minute break near the end of most sessions in order for the counselor and counselee both to prayerfully reflect on what has been discussed during the previous session. The counselor will remain in the pastors office while the counselee will go to the sanctuary of the church for prayerful reflection. At the end of the prescribed ten minute break, the counselee will return to the pastors office in order for the pastor to give supportive feedback and goal oriented homework to be completed by the next counseling session (Kollar 1997,161). All counseling sessions will take place at Piney Knob Baptist Church in the astors tudy. The day and time of the sessions will be worked out to the mutual best interests of both the counselor and the counselee. In order to provide a safe and secure setting for both the counselor and counselee, the counselor reserves the right to only counsel other adult males or couples in private. A third party person must be present while counseling females or minors of either gender. The pastors wife or another member of the church can fill this capacity, but the third person must be mutually agreed upon by both the counselor and the counselee (See appendix C). The counselee or careseekers right to confidentiality will be protected at all times by both the counselor and the third party unless doing so would

violate local, state, or federal law or the counselors good judgment or conscience (See

appendix C).

Basic Assumptions Guiding SBBPC 1. God is already active in the counselee (Kollar 1997, 91). 2. Small changes are all that are necessary (Hawkins Pastoral Counseling Scenario Part 3). 3. Complex problems do not demand complex solutions. (Kollar 1997, 91, 92). 4. The counselee is the expert and defines goals (Kollar 1997, 92). 5. The counselors focus is on solutions (Kollar 1997, 93). 6. All people are created in the image of God and as His image bearers have infinite value and worth (Hawkins Pastoral Counseling Scenario Part 3). For a full description of basic assumptions see Appendix A. Part 2: The Counselors Style After taking the personality assessment by Uniquely You Inc. I have discovered that I am an S type when I am in a guarded environment (Graph 1: This is Expected of Me) such as work or around strangers, and an S/C type at home or around close friends when my mask is off (Graph 2: This is Me; UniquelyYou.net). This means that I feel that people expect me to be extremely nice and easy going, and not demanding or critical. In other words, the general consensus about Henry Limpet is that he will not give you a hard way to go, even if you deserve it. He will instead be courteous, understanding, compassionate, and supportive. When my mask is on, I am the kind of guy that does not 7

seem to have a care in the world, and genuinely believes that everything is going to be O.K. If the world could choose a theme song for me, it would probably be, Dont worry, and be

happy! My close friends and family know me a little better however. They see my C relational style come through quiet often. In fact, my C on graph 2 is only slightly lower than my S. When my mask is off, I tend to be quite critical about some of the very people that I smiled at and patted on the back a few hours ago at church. I have very little tolerance for incompetence and misinformation. I like for things to run like a well oiled machine, and can get rather angry at times when they do not. I also expect others to be as dedicated and thorough as I am. When they are not, I seem calm and easy going on the outside while I am really hurt and frustrated on the inside. This fact of the masked and unmasked me has been demonstrated by the 360 interview. A family member who knows me well chose a beaver because of my work ethic and attention to detail, while another chose a golden retriever due to my loyalty, affection, and easy going nature. The good news about my S/C personality however, is that I am an above average listener. I scored a 65 on the Communication skills test

(Discoveryhealth.queendom.com).

My spiritual gifts also enable me to be an above

average listener. My primary spiritual gift is teaching, but my two secondary gifts are exhortation and mercy. Possessing these two spiritual gifts give me a sympathetic attitude to anyone who is hurting or needs encouragement. I must be careful to control the overuse of these gifts in counseling however, as I can easily become too sensitive and involved in

someones story, and than be overcome with the urge to talk way too much and solve the counselees problems for them instead of leading them to their own solutions. As an INTJ type I am also gifted at setting goals for myself and others, but also tend to be a hard driving perfectionist who can be ruthless in regards to achieving those goals (humanmetrics.com). I must be careful to set realistic and achievable goals throughout the counseling process. Based upon this knowledge of my personality type, I will demonstrate FIT in the following ways with the following personality types. 1. D type- As an S/C type, the biggest issue that I will have with a D in a counseling scenario will be frustration in regards to the decisive and impulsive way that a D type often makes decisions. I will also struggle with the fact that Ds are often so caught up in doing and directing that they fail to see the problem as easily as I do. I will demonstrate FIT with a D type personality by listening for clues as to how they can better direct their determined personality on the problem, and not on the other person. I will carefully search for ways that I can steer this machine of dominant assertiveness into the right area of probable solutions. 2. I type- I will demonstrate fit with an I personality by suppressing my own tendency to be withdrawn and anti-social and instead become more people oriented. I will remember that I types are very interactive with other people and value their input and advice much more than I do. I types are interested in people and are often inspired by influences that I would not give a second thought too. In demonstrating FIT by careful listening, I will search for clues in the people that surround the counselee, and attempt to discern how the counselee is either being influenced by others or are influencing others themselves.

3. S type- I will demonstrate FIT with S types by recognizing their need for support and security. S types need to be carefully listened to and encouraged as they may find it difficult to open up to a counselor. I will also carefully listen for ways that the counselee may be allowing another person to take advantage of them because of their loyalty and lack of assertiveness. 4. C type- I will demonstrate FIT with a C type personality by carefully outlining and describing the counseling process and attempting to answer any questions as thoroughly and correctly as possible. I will take careful notes during the counseling session and carefully record details. I will remind myself to be as upbeat and positive as possible and zero in on the word solution for the counselees benefit.

I will also universally demonstrate FIT with all four relational types by remembering my goal and allow the Lord Jesus Christ to first love and serve the people through me

by listening to them carefully.

I will always keep in mind how frustrating it is to

want someone to listen to you, but instead get a pool grabber (Peterson 2007, 21). I will repeatedly tell myself that the Holy Spirit cannot teach the counselee anything until I have first actively listened to their problem with a loving heart of servant hood. Part 2 covered all the bases!!!!! Part 3: The Counseling Structure/Strategy Phase 1 The purpose of phase 1: What is the present problem?

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The goal of phase 1: Problem description The aim of phase 1: Listen well Counselor responsibility in phase 1: Talk little and listen much Guiding assumption for phase 1: God is already active in the counselee (Kollar 91). Clear presentation of distinctivesnow lets see if you actually used them in Phase 1

After calling to arrange an appointment at 4:00 in the afternoon, Bruce came in the church door a few minutes late and very apologetic. I met him at the front door and heartily shook his hand and walked with him to the pastors office and asked him to sit down in the large and comfortable green chair in the corner of the room. I then moved the chair from behind my desk to a position ten feet across from Bruce while talking with him about his present work schedule and how busy he was staying in the struggling economy. As Bruce answered these questions and explained the reason he was a few minutes late, I reached for the legal pad and pen on my desk and sat down in my chair. I could tell that Bruce was very troubled and a little frustrated this afternoon. He was leaning towards me in his chair in an expectant manner with both hands tightly clasped together. I leaned slightly forward as well, and reminded him of my regular habit of taking notes during each counseling session. He replied that he remembered reading about me taking notes in the papers I had given him and that note taking was fine; in fact, he did not have any problem with anything in the packet I gave him after service last Sunday. He had left the intake forms in his truck, but they were filled out and he would give them to me after the session.

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Feeling that I had joined with Bruce (Benner 2003, 76), I than leaned farther forward and looked him in the eye and asked, Bruce, how can I help you today? Looking somewhat relieved that we were getting started, Bruce began to talk about the deteriorating relationship between him and his youngest son Brody. As Bruce poured out his frustrations with Brody and described how out of touch Brody has been with reality since the accident and especially since he had picked Brody up from Joshs college, I realized two things about Bruce; he was now flat brained (Petersen 2007, 25)

and he was also in the blaming position (Kollar 1997, 87).

As Bruce continued to

describe Brodys rotten attitude and lack of motivation I simply nodded in agreement and drew a picture of a flat brain on the legal pad. I decided that I would address the blaming position in a later session and instead focus on countering the flat brain syndrome by increasing Bruces confidence and building a supportive friendship between the two of us (Petersen 2007, 31). After a few more minutes of Brody bashing, Bruce became quiet and sullenly stared at the floor. Although every fiber of my type S/C personality wanted to speak and offer advice and sympathy at the same time, I bit my tongue and prayed for wisdom in what

to do next.

After a few more seconds Bruce looked up at me with tears in his eyes

and said, I just want to do something! If this were a problem at work or something I could get my hands on I would fix it, but how can I fix a son who refuses to cope with reality? At this point my type C went into hyper-drive and I found myself wondering what was wrong with this guy! Why couldnt he see that his son needed his support

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and engagement now more than ever? Why couldnt he see that Brody was just as hurt and wounded as he was but just coping in a different way? Since Bruce had asked a question and was expecting me to answer I had to quickly control my ugly C and remind myself that I was dealing with a D type that functioned on Doing and Directing. I took a deep breath and nodded in affirmation to Bruces frustration and replied, Bruce, I hear and understand your desire to help Brody. This is what any good father would want to do. I also hear and understand that you do not know how to do that and this is frustrating you in a way that you cannot even describe. The good news is that I believe I can help you with the knowledge, but you must provide the determination. I know that you have the determination because you have demonstrated it in more ways than I can count during these last few difficult months. What you have to do now is focus this determination on helping your son find his will to live again. Do you want that more than anything in this world right now? Bruce looked at me with a renewed vigor and replied, Yes, yes I do. Sensing there was more determination in the man than this I replied, Bruce, your sons life is at stake here, you can do better than that! Surprised at first, but than grinning Bruce straightened himself up in his chair and said in a loud and extremely determined voice, Yes I want my son Brody to find the will to live again! Great! I replied; now go into the sanctuary and pray that God will give you strength, courage, and above all determination to come alongside Him and me in saving your son (Clinton and Hawkins 2009, 238). Bruce returned in ten minutes with a quiet determination in his eyes. I could tell that he had been crying but decided against my tendency to question him about this and decided instead to enforce his D style and stay on course. I silently thanked God that

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He had already been active in Bruce and was active even now.

I than began the

process of supportive feedback (Kollar 1997, 159) by congratulating Bruce on his decisive action to come in and talk with me this evening. I told him that it took a lot of guts to do something and not keep ignoring the situation. I also assured him that God was still in control of this situation and the Holy Spirit was already at work in Brodys life. I than gave him his homework assignment for the week. He was to play the part of a detective this week, and find out what things were important in Brodys life. At this point Bruce started to object and tell me that he already knew what was important to Brody, it was his music, and he couldnt relate. Remembering that Bruce was a D, I got a little out of my comfort zone and raised my hand in objection and looked Bruce in the eye and simply said, Bruce, remember your commitment to determination. You were not satisfied with the police report concerning the accident and your determination paid off in that situation. Likewise, you cannot be satisfied with what you think you know about Brody now, so be focused and determined this week and put yourself in your sons shoes and find out what makes him tick. He needs you and you are his father, now you have to be the adult here and make the first step to restore your

sons will to live. Understand?

Bruce shook his head in agreement and thanked

me for keeping his feet to the fire. I closed in prayer and as Bruce walked out the door I said, Bruce, one more thing, no more Brody bashing this week. Be determined to find the good things about Brody. I will ask you to give me a report next week and you had better have a good list! Bruce nodded his head in agreement and replied, That makes sense, I can always help my guys on the job improve if I focus on the things they 14

do right instead of the things they do wrong. Ill see you next week at the same time. Amen! Phase 1 actually used the distinctives!!! Phase 2 The purpose of phase 2: What is the preferred solution? The goal of phase 2: Goal formulation The aim of phase 2: Collaborating Well Counselor responsibility in phase 2: To use questions to discover how the counselee tacks or moves towards solutions. Guiding assumptions for phase 2: Small changes are all that are necessary (Hawkins Pastoral Counseling Scenario Part 3) and the counselors focus is on solutions (Kollar 93).

When Bruce returned the next week, he was in somewhat better spirits. I asked him to first share with me the positive things he had discovered about Brody this week. Bruce replied that he had discovered that Brody was extremely kind and sensitive to the needs of others, as he had observed how he had given a younger neighborhood boy an old keyboard that he didnt use anymore and had even offered to give him some lessons anytime he wanted. Bruce had also overheard Brody crying in his room one evening before dinner and shared that he had never considered that Brody was still grieving over the loss of his mother and sister. I than asked how observing these things about Brody had affected his behavior and feelings towards his son. He confessed that it did make him more sympathetic to Brody, but when he had tried to reach out to his son, he was met with hostility and anger instead of understanding and love. At this point Bruce

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became more defensive and angry as he related several examples of Brodys hostility. I listened attentively and waited for an opening, it finally came when Bruce sat back in his chair and sighed deeply and asked, What would you do? (Kollar 1997, 118). I recited to Bruce many of the clues I had jotted down about the weeks interaction (Kollar 1997, 118). I than encouraged Bruce concerning the small changes that he had made during the week in relating to Brody, and how small changes can lead to big changes (Hawkins Pastoral Counseling Scenario part 3). I then proceeded to the track option of recent change (Kollar 1997, 121). I began this process by asking Bruce to envision a train track on the office wall with ten flags numbering one to ten at various points on the track (150). Flag number 1 was at the beginning of the track while flag 10 was at the end. I asked Bruce to carefully consider where he was on that track last week with a 1 being helpless to save his son and a 10 being a son who is totally restored. After thinking for a moment, Bruce hesitantly confessed that he was a 2 last week. After thanking him for his honesty, I asked where he was today. He hesitantly responded that he could only honestly say a 3. At this point in the session I shocked Bruce by being uncharacteristically excited and animated. I raised my voice in surprise and quickly sat up in my chair as I exclaimed, You moved up a whole point! How did you do that? (Kollar 1997, 185) Bruce simply shrugged his shoulders and reflected on how he now understood Brody a little better and felt less irritation towards him on a day to day basis. Bruce had also observed many of Brodys good qualities through the week and all of these things combined gave him more optimism for Brodys future restoration. I then asked Bruce if he had considered how these small and recent changes in his behavior this week had

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led to this improvement. Bruce stated that he hadnt really considered this week an improvement because Brodys behavior had not improved. When Bruce made this statement, I realized that he was still in the blaming position

and decided to use questions that empower (Kollar 1997, 152).

Realizing that

Bruce was a D type, I also decided to be direct with this question. I said, Bruce, you seem to be held captive by Brody. Bruce looked at me with surprise. I went on to say, Dont you think it is about time that you took charge of the situation by directing and controlling the things that are in your power? Bruce, what are you going to be doing differently when things are better between you and Brody? I could tell this question really took Bruce off guard and he fidgeted uncomfortably in his chair for a few seconds before he replied, I guess that I will be doing similar things that I have been doing, only a little better. Right! I replied, and added that he also would need to be doing them more often. I than reminded Bruce of his need for determination in the process of giving Brody a will to live again, and concluded the session by stating, Bruce, would you consider it a miracle if you and Brody could be at a 10 on this track in a few months?(Greenburg and Ganshorn 2001, 2) Sure, you bet it would be a miracle! he replied. Well Bruce, miracles happen one small step at a time (Cloud 2004, 122), and you must start that miracle today by formulating a decisive plan to move not only yourself, but Brody up the track at least one point by next week. I know you can do it, and were now going to take our break for you to begin your plan. Ill see you in a few minutes.

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After the prescribed break, Bruce came back into the office and sat down with a refreshed look on his face. I asked him if he had formulated a plan for the week. He replied, Well, I dont have it all together yet, but I know I am going to spend some time with Brody one on one. Ive been working way too much for over a year now to keep things afloat, and I just realized how hard that has been on Brody. To tell you the truth, the Lord has convicted me that all of this has been under the radar for some time now. Cindy had been keeping the family together while I worked, and I now understand that it is my responsibility to spend time with my kids. I shouldnt have let it go this long, but I cant do anything about the past, I have to concentrate on the

future, and the first thing I have to do is make the time to spend with Brody. Fantastic! I replied, I can see you and Brody moving up that track already! Just remember one thing; Brody may be resistant at first so take things slow. Lets give you and Brody a few weeks to work on this goal before our next appointment. Well meet again at the same time in two weeks. I closed us in prayer and Bruce left the church with a spring in his step that I hadnt seen before. There was no doubt that he had

transitioned himself from the blaming position to the willing position.

Phase 3 The purpose of phase 3: How do we proceed/partner toward solution? The goal of phase 3: Vision clarification The aim of phase 3: Executing well

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Counselor responsibility in phase 3: To enable the counselee to see a future without the problem Guiding assumption for phase 3: Complex problems do not demand complex solutions (Kollar 91, 92) and The counselee is the expert and defines goals

(Kollar 92)

Two weeks later Bruce was back in my office with a different perspective on life. I could tell by his body language and smile that he was not the man of three weeks ago. After the usual small talk, I opened with prayer and asked Bruce to tell me how the plan had been progressing these last few weeks. The first three days were rough, as Brody continued to resist any advances I made with hostility and anger. I stayed determined however, and finally got him to go get a burger with me at his favorite restaurant. I asked him about school and the new band he was in and he didnt talk much, but I didnt let it bother me. A few days later he agreed to go with me to the job site one evening and I let him drive my truck on the back road leading to the construction site. You should have seen the look on his face when I pulled over and got out and told him he had to drive the rest of the way. It was priceless! I used to let him steer my truck on back roads when he was just five or six and I think that this experience brought back memories for both of us. I showed a great amount of excitement and joy about these developments and then asked Bruce where he thought him and Brody were on the track. Bruce responded by saying, Preacher, I believe I have jumped up to a 6, and Brody has got to be at least a 4! We actually talked for over

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an hour after dinner last night and I find myself looking forward to going home after work in the evenings. Hey, thats fantastic! I exclaimed, And now let me ask you a question. Bruce, if you could make a movie of the next two weeks of your life and write it so that Brody would move up to a 6 and you could move to an 8, what would be your personal script? (Cloud 2004, 76) Bruce thought about the question for a moment, and than smiled and replied, Oh, I get it, you are getting me to make more positive changes again. Well, it works, so Ill play along and say that I now need to attempt to spend more time with Brody in his world and show him that I care about his interests, although I really have a hard time relating to his obsession with music.

I could see that Bruce was catching the vision, but that he also was somewhat resistant to make this final step. Things had went well for Bruce these past two weeks as he had spent time with Brody in Bruces world, but the big step would be if Bruce could make the transition to engaging Brody and supporting him the way his mother and sister had. At this point in the session, I decided to be direct with Bruce as he was a type D and replied candidly, Look Bruce, I know the music thing is hard for you, but you are going to have to make the sacrifice and be determined to see this thing through if you are going to move Brody up the track. Remember, this is about restoring your sons will to live again. I was upfront with you at our first meeting that you would have to provide the determination and I could provide the knowledge. I feel that I have kept my end of the deal and I know that God has kept His end of the deal, the question is, are you going to keep your end of the deal? Youre in the drivers seat

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and Brody is your son (Kollar 1997, 92). Do you want to see this miracle happen or not? If you do, thn make a decision to commit to proceed with the next step. Bruce didnt respond to me for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably more like sixty seconds. I began to worry that I was too direct with him, but he finally nodded his head slowly in agreement and replied, I know youre right, but I dont know how to relate to Brody the way Cindy and Chelsea did. We have always been different. He and I both know that. How can we act like everything is O.K. between us and always has been when we both know better? The question rang in the air during the following seconds of silence. I silently prayed that God would give Bruce wisdom in dealing with his feeling and choosing self (Hawkins Pastoral Assessment). After a moment or two I replied, Bruce, you must remember that we are moving FORWARD (Visser and Bodien 2007, 1) here to a solution. Remember that this problem between you and Brody may be long-term and complex, but the solution is not (Kollar 1997, 91, 92). Im not asking you and God is not asking you to make everything perfect this week. It is unrealistic because both you and Brody have a lot of healing to do. What you have to decide is this: Are you going to take the next step and continue the process of you and Brody healing together? Lets take a break and think about this. After the break, Bruce returned to the office still in deep thought. I practiced supportive feedback (Kollar 1997, 159) by encouraging Bruces decisions these past two weeks and praising him for his determination and willingness to purposely spend time with his son. I thn asked him if he had come to any decisions in the last ten minutes of prayer and solitude. Without looking up he replied, Im still struggling with some. I closed with a prayer and asked Bruce if he would like to stay at the

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church for a while and think and pray. I would lock the door from the outside and all he had to do was go out when he was finished and it would lock back automatically. He replied that he would really appreciate the solitude and would call me in a few days

to discuss our next appointment.

Phase 4 The purpose of phase 4: Who are the people that can best support and /or secure the Counselee in the process of change? The goal of phase 4: Promoting and supporting change The aim of phase 4: Connecting community well Counselor responsibility in phase 4: Counselor reinforces commitment to change through supportive feedback and by arranging accountability through pastoral care and small group ministries of a local church Guiding assumption for phase 4: All people are created in the image of God and as His image bearers have infinite worth (Hawkins Pastoral Counseling Scenario

Part 3)

It was over a week before I heard from Bruce again, but when he did finally call me it was with great news. He and Brody had sat down and had a man to man talk after an

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argument about a week after Bruces last appointment. Bruce was open and honest with Brody about his ignorance of music, but confessed that he was willing to take an interest in it although he realized that he could never be as knowledgeable as Cindy. Bruce also apologized to Brody for not spending more time with him over the last year, and for being insensitive in many ways over Brodys loss. Brody had also apologized to his father and thanked him for his honesty and directness. Brody pointed out the fact that maybe they were more alike than what they realized. Bruce asked if Brody could come with him to the upcoming session this week. I responded with an enthusiastic Yes! and was thankful to see them both walk through the door. After explaining the track analogy to Brody (Kollar 1997, 154), I asked them to share with me and each other where they both were on the track today. Bruce went first and proudly stated that he was a solid 8 and almost a 9. Brody said that he was proudly following his Dads tracks and was a 7 going on an 8. I felt led to pray with both of them right at that moment and thank God for doing a miracle in their life. After the prayer I offered supportive feedback by praising them both for their hard work and determination. I then encouraged them to continue to do what they had been doing this past week as it was obviously working (Kollar 1997, 89). I then gave them a list of the churchs current ministry events and small group opportunities and encouraged them to choose at least one event and one small group that they could both agree on being a part of. I thanked them both again and assured them that I would continue to be available in the future as both their pastor and counselor, but that we all needed to thank the

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Wonderful Counselor for His wisdom and guidance. We closed in a group prayer.

Part 4: The Counseling Summation

I was able to utilize the versatility of the supportive feedback technique in numerous ways with Bruce during the counseling process. I encouraged him with supportive feedback in all four phases, but utilized it in phase 3 to challenge him to contemplate the future consequences of his next decision. In phase 4, supportive feedback was used to reinforce what was working as well as to encourage and motivate. The supportive feedback technique was used effectively in this example to encourage, challenge, and reinforce the counselee through the various phases of the counseling scenario. Supportive feedback was a vital tool to keep the counselee progressing towards his goal and not getting off track. In developing a reflective praxis of my personal performance in the counseling process using the GRACE acronym, I struggled mostly with Goal Formulation and vision clarification. It was challenging at times to overcome my S/C personality and not console and instruct Bruce to choose the goal that I would choose in his position. It was also challenging to think and feel like a D (which I am clearly not) and steer Bruce into a position to make effective changes in his relationship with Brody. Thankfully during those times I remembered my overarching goal in life and allowed the Lord Jesus Christ to love, serve, and teach Bruce and Brody through me. The Lords

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wisdom always came through to help Bruce form a goal and formulate a vision. I also found it difficult at times to cultivate a commitment to action by being direct with Bruce when appropriate. I had to overcome the S part of my relational style and allow the Holy Spirit to embolden me to speak the truth in love to Bruce at numerous intervals in the counseling process. After the final counseling session with Bruce and Brody I called up my mentor and fellow pastor Dan Jividen and gave him a brief rundown of the previous weeks counseling sessions. I was on somewhat of a spiritual high due to the success of the sessions. After hearing my glowing report and sensing my excitement Dan asked if I was tempted to take too much credit for this success. After a few moments of giving excuses and reasons why I could not take the credit that only God deserved, I had to admit that it was a temptation. Dan lovingly reminded me that I was just one tool that God had used to bring restoration and healing to this family. He then asked me if I had called all of the praying church members who had been continually lifting this family up in prayer for all of these months and shared my joy with them so that we could rejoice in the goodness of God together. Feeling embarrassed that I had unconsciously counted my part in this process as more important than their part; I thanked Dan and told him I had a few phone calls to make after a joyful prayer of thanksgiving. Thanks for demonstrating how to move toward the best SC version of you in life and ministry! The acknowledgement of your overarching goal in life was very obvious and timely!!

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References Benner, David G. 2003. Strategic pastoral counseling: A short-term structured model. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Academic. Clinton, Tim, and Ron Hawkins. 2009. The quick reference guide to Biblical counseling. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Books. Cloud, Henry. 2004. Nine things you simply must do to succeed in love and life. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson. Dempsey, Rod. Small group leadership training. Small Group Leadership Training.doc. Accessed June 30, 2010. Earley, Dave. The 8 habits of effective small group leaders. Suggestions for what to say and when to say it. 8 Habits of Small Group Leaders.doc. Accessed June 30, 2010. Greenburg, Gail, and Keren Ganshorn. 2001. Solution-focused therapy: a solution driven model for change. 2003 depression.org.uk. (June 4, 2010). Hawkins. Study Guide for Hawkins's Pastoral Assessment model and Hawkins's Pastoral Counseling Scenario. Study notes and PowerPoint presentation, Module 2. Hawkins, Ron. Pastoral Counseling Scenario Part 3. Kollar, Charles Allen. 1997. Solution-focused pastoral counseling. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan. Petersen, James. 2007. Why dont we listen better? Communicating and connecting in relationships. Portland, Oregon: Petersen Publications. Visser, Coert, and Gwenda Schlundt Bodien. 2007. Moving forward with solution-focused change. coert.visser@planet.nl. (June 4, 2010).

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Appendix A Basic Assumptions Guiding SBBPC 1. God is already active in the counselee (Kollar 1997, 91). Since God is already active in the life of the counselee, the main responsibility of both the counselor and counselee is to discover where and how He has been active and build similar solutions on the foundation of the past solutions built by God. 2. Small changes are all that are necessary. Small changes lead to large changes. A change in one part of a system usually leads to a change in other parts of the system (Hawkins Pastoral Counseling Scenario Part 3). The counselee must begin by making small changes in their behavior and build upon these small changes in order to bring about effective and lasting change in their life. 3. Complex problems do not demand complex solutions. No matter what the problem may be that is bringing individuals into counseling, that problem does not happen all the time. There are good times, times in their lives when they are happy. I would rather ask what is different about the times when this problem does not occur. I am looking for evidence the Spirit has already placed in the counselees life-clues to ways of getting unstuck (Kollar 1997, 91, 92). 4. The counselee is the expert and defines goals (Kollar 1997, 92). The counselor does not and cannot know the intimate and complex details of the counselees life. Therefore, the counselee is the only expert in their life and the only one qualified to define their individual goal. 5. The counselors focus is on solutions (Kollar 1997, 93). The counselor must think on his/her feet at all times. The basic guidelines are these: If its not

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broke, dont fix it; once you discover what works, do more of it; and if it doesnt work, dont do it again, do something different (Kollar 1997, 93). 6. All people are created in the image of God and as His image bearers have infinite value and worth (Hawkins Pastoral Counseling Scenario Part 3). The counselor must always remember how valuable the counselee is. God wants His child restored and whole again, and it is the responsibility of the counselor to view the counselee in this light and work towards this goal by the aid of the

Holy Spirit. Appendix B Credentials I am not a licensed counselor in the state of North Carolina. I have experience as a pastoral counselor however, and always seek to be guided by the Holy Spirit. I have been ordained as a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ by Whistling Springs Baptist Church in Whistle Stop, Virginia and have been the senior pastor of Piney Knob Baptist Church since June 2008. Educational credentials are available upon request. Statement of Belief God There is one and only one living and true God. He is an intelligent, spiritual, and personal Being; the Creator, Redeemer, Preserver, and Ruler of the universe. God is infinite in holiness and all other perfections. God is all powerful and all knowing and His perfect knowledge extends to all things, past, present, and future, including the future decisions of His free creatures. To Him we owe the highest love, reverence, and obedience. The eternal triune God reveals Himself to us as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, with distinct personal attributes, but without division of nature, essence, or being. 1. God the Father God as Father reigns with providential care over His universe, His creatures, and the flow of the stream of human history according to the purposes of His grace. He is all powerful, all knowing, all loving, and all wise. God is Father in truth to those who become children of God through faith in Jesus Christ. He is fatherly in His attitude toward all men. Genesis 1:1; 2:7; Exodus 3:14; 6:2-3; 15:11ff; 20:1ff; Leviticus 22:2; Deuteronomy 6:4; 32:6; 1 Chronicles 29:10; Psalm 19:1-3; Isaiah 43:3, 15, 64:8; Jeremiah 10:10; 17:13; Matthew 6:9ff; 7:11; 23:9; 28:19; Mark 1:9-11; John 4:24; 5:26; 14:6-13; 17:1-8; Acts 1:7; Romans 8:14-15; 28

1 Corinthians 8:6; Galatians 4:6; Ephesians 4:6; Colossians 1:15; 1 Timothy 1:17; Hebrews 11:6; 12:9; 1 Peter 1:17; 1 John 5:7. 2. God the Son Christ is the eternal Son of God. In His incarnation as Jesus Christ He was conceived of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. Jesus perfectly revealed and did the will of God, taking upon Himself human nature with its demands and necessities and identifying Himself completely with mankind yet without sin. He honored the divine law by His personal obedience, and in His substitutionary death on the cross He made provision for the redemption of men from sin. He was raised from the dead with a glorified body and appeared to His disciples as the person who was with them before His crucifixion. He ascended into heaven and is now exalted at the right hand of God where He is the One Mediator, fully God, fully man, in whose Person is effected the reconciliation between God and man. He will return in power and glory to judge the world and to consummate His redemptive mission. He now dwells in all believers as the living and ever present Lord. Genesis 18:1ff; Psalms 2:7ff; 110:1ff; Isaiah 7:14; 53; Matthew 1:18-23; 3:17; 8:29; 11:27; 14:33; 16:16, 27; 17:5; 27; 28:1-6,19; Mark 1:1; 3:11; Luke 1:35; 4:41; 22:70; 24:46; John 1:18, 29; 10:30, 38; 11:25-27; 12; 44-50; 14; 7-11; 16:15-16, 28; 17:1-5, 21-22; 20:1-20, 28; Acts 1:9; 2:22-24; 7:55-56; 9:4-5, 20; Romans 1:3-4; 3:23-26; 5:6-21; 8:1-3, 34; 10:4; 1 Corinthians 1:30; 2:2; 8:6; 15:1-8, 24-28; 2 Corinthians 5:19-21; 8; 9; Galatians 4:4-5; Ephesians 1:20; 3:11; 4:7-10; Philippians 2:5-11; Colossians 1:13-22; 2:9; 1 Thessalonians 4:14-18; 1 Timothy 2:5-6; 3:16; Titus 2:13-14; Hebrews 1:1-3; 4:14-15; 7:14-28; 9:12-15, 24-28; 12:2; 13:8; 1 Peter 2:21-25; 3:22; 1 John 1:7-9; 3:2; 4:14-15; 5:9; 2 John 7-9; Revelation 1:13-16; 5:9-14; 12:10-11; 13:8; 19:16 3. God the Holy Spirit The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of God, fully divine. He inspired holy men of old to write the Scriptures. Through illumination He enables men to understand truth. He exalts Christ. He convicts men of sin, of righteousness, and of judgment. He calls men to the Savior, and effects regeneration. At the moment of regeneration He baptizes every believer into the Body of Christ. He cultivates Christian character, comforts believers, and bestows the spiritual gifts by which they serve God through His church. He seals the believer unto the day of final redemption. His presence in the Christian is the guarantee that God will bring the believer into the fullness of the stature of Christ. He enlightens and empowers the believer and the church in worship, evangelism, and service. Genesis 1:2; Judges 14:6; Job 26:13; Psalms 51:11; 139:7ff; Isaiah 61:1-3; Joel 2:28-32; Matthew 1:18; 3:16; 4:1; 12:28-32; 28:19, Mark 1:10, 12; Luke 1:35; 4:1, 18-19; 11:13; 12:12; 24:49; John 4:24; 14:16-17, 26; 15:26; 16:7-14; Acts 1:8; 2:1-4, 38; 4:31; 5:3; 6:3; 7:55; 8:17, 39; 10:44; 13:2; 15:28; 16:6; 19:1-6; Romans 8:9-11, 14-16, 26-27; 1 Corinthians 2:10-14; 3:16; 12:3-11, 13; Galatians 4:6; Ephesians 1:13-14; 4:30; 5:18; 1 Thessalonians 5:19; 1 Timothy 3:16; 4:1; 2 Timothy 1:14; 3:16; Hebrews 9:8, 14; 2 Peter 1:21; 1 John 4:13; 5:6-7; Revelation 1:10; 22:17.

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C. Man Man is the special creation of God, made in His own image. He created them male and female as the crowning work of His creation. The gift of gender is thus part of the goodness of Gods creation. In the beginning man was innocent of sin and was endowed by His Creator with freedom of choice. By his free choice man sinned against God and brought sin into the human race. Through the temptation of Satan man transgressed the command of God, and fell from his original innocence whereby his posterity inherit a nature and an environment inclined toward sin. Therefore, as soon as they are capable of moral action, they become transgressors and are under condemnation. Only the grace of God can bring man into His holy fellowship and enable man to fulfill the creative purpose of God. The sacredness of human personality is evident in that God created man in His own image, and in that Christ died for man; therefore, every person of every race possesses full dignity and is worthy of respect and Christian love. Genesis 1:26-30; 2:5, 7, 18-22; 3; 9:6; Psalms 1; 8:3-6; 32:1-5; 51:5; Isaiah 6:5; Jeremiah 17:5; Matthew 16:26; Acts 17:26-31; Romans 1:19-32; 3:10-18, 23; 5:6, 12, 19:6:6; 7:1425; 8:14-18, 29; 1 Corinthians 1:21-31; 15:19, 21-22; Ephesians 2:1-22; Colossians 1:2122; 3:9-11. D. Salvation Salvation involves the redemption of the whole man, and is offered freely to all who accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, who by His own blood obtained eternal redemption for the believer. In its broadest sense salvation includes regeneration, justification, sanctification, and glorification. There is no salvation apart from personal faith in Jesus Christ as Lord. 1. Regeneration, or the new birth, is a work of Gods grace whereby believers become new creatures in Christ Jesus. It is a change of heart wrought by the Holy Spirit through conviction of sin, to which the sinner responds in repentance toward God and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Repentance and faith are inseparable experiences of grace. Repentance is a genuine turning from sin toward God. Faith is the acceptance of Jesus Christ and commitment of the entire personality to Him as Lord and Savior. 2. Justification is Gods gracious and full acquittal upon principles of His righteousness of all sinners who repent and believe in Christ. Justification brings the believer unto a relationship of peace and favor with God. 3. Sanctification is the experience, beginning in regeneration, by which the believer is set apart to Gods purposes, and is enabled to progress toward moral and spiritual maturity through the presence and power of the Holy Spirit dwelling in him. Growth in grace should continue throughout the regenerate persons life. 4. Glorification is the culmination of salvation and is the final blessed and abiding state of the redeemed. Genesis 3:15; Exodus 3:14-17; 6:2-8; Matthew 1:21; 4:17; 16:21-26; 27:22-28:6; Luke 1:68-69; 2:28-32; John 1:11-14, 29; 3:3-21, 36; 5:24; 10:9, 28-29; 15:1-16; 17:17; Acts 2:21; 4:12; 15:11; 16:30-31; 17:30-31; 20:32; Romans 1:16-18; 2:4; 3:23-25; 4:3ff; 5:8-10; 6:1-23; 8:1-18, 29-39; 10:9-10; 13; 13:11-14; 1 Corinthians 1:18, 30; 6:19-20; 15:10; 2 Corinthians 5:17-20; Galatians 2:20; 3:13; 5:22-25; 6:15; Ephesians 1:7; 2:8-22; 4:11-16; Philippians 2:12-13; Colossians 1:9-22; 3:1ff; 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24; 2 Timothy 1:12; Titus 2:11-14; Hebrews 2:1-3; 5:8-9; 9:24-28; 11:1-12:8, 14; James 2:14-26; 1 Peter 1:2-

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23; 1 John 1:6-2:11; Revelation 3:20; 21:1-22:5. (Adapted Baptist Faith and Message 2000).

Ethical Guidelines Definitions and Roles of Pastors and Pastoral Counselor The Pastor and Pastoral Counselor: Ordained Ministers of the Gospel Pastors and pastoral counselors have central roles in the counseling and care ministry of the church. They are normally ordained ministers, recognized by a reputable church denomination as called of God, set apart for special church ministry, and have fulfilled the education and preparatory tasks the church requires for that ministry. The Specialized Pastoral Counselor Pastoral counselors and psychotherapists have received advanced training in counseling and psychotherapy and often counsel in a church or a specialized counseling setting. Pastoral counselors often have advanced degrees in counseling, have undergone counseling practicum training under supervision, and may be certified by national associations as a pastoral counselor or pastoral psychotherapist. Rules of Ethics Code Application and Exemption General Rule of Ethical Code Application and Exemption Pastors and pastoral counselors shall honor this Code in it entirety, except for those code sections (1) not applicable due to their clinical professional nature, or (2) because a higher duty to church or ministry rules require a narrow exemption from this Code. Anyone claiming exemption to the Code has the burden of proving it, and the duty to draw that exemption as narrowly as possible, honoring all other Code requirements. The Call of Christian Counseling to Gospel Fidelity Pastors and pastoral counselors have a special call as intermediaries between Christian counseling and the church. They can challenge Christian counselors to hold faith to the Gospel and to apply counseling ministry to the mission and work of the church. They can mediate, explain, and refer parishioners to Christian counselors. They can also encourage involvement for those who need help, and communicate and explain the guidelines of the Code so that parishioners can better judge the value and safety of the Christian counseling work. (adapted from http://aacc.net, 2010).

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Appendix C Intake Form _____________________________________________________________ Registration Form Please Print Last Name____________________________________ First Name__________________________ MI___________ Address__________________________________________________________________ ______________________ City___________________________________________ State____________ Zip____________________________ Social Security #________________________________ Date of Birth______________________ Sex_____________ Marital Status_____________________ Home Phone____________________ Daytime Phone__________________ Cell Phone_______________________ Home EMail____________________________________________________ Church You Attend________________________________________ Religious Preference______________________ Employer Name____________________________________________________________________ _____________ Employer Address__________________________________ City________________ State_____ Zip_____________ HOW DID YOU LEARN ABOUT THE CHURCH? Friend/Family____ Yellow Pages____ Physician____ Counselor____ Other____________________ Please Specify Referring Physician or Counselor_________________________________________________________________ ___ Please Specify Name Address City State Zip Phone RESPONSIBLE PARTY INFORMATION (if different than patient) Last Name____________________________________ First Name__________________________ MI____________ Address__________________________________________________________________ ______________________ City___________________________________________ State_____________ Zip___________________________ Relationship to Patient______________ SS#____________________ Birth Date____________Phone_____________ Employer Name____________________________________________________________________

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_____________ Employer Address__________________________________ City________________ State_____Zip______________ EMERGENCY CONTACT NOT LIVING WITH YOU (i.e. friend or relative) Last Name_____________________________________ First Name__________________________ MI___________ Address__________________________________________________________________ ______________________ City___________________________________________ State_______________ Zip_________________________ Relationship to Patient_____________________________________ Phone__________________________________ BRIEFLY TELL US WHY YOU HAVE COME TO SEE US _________________________________________________________________________ _____________________ WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO ACHIEVE _________________________________________________________________________ _____________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _____________________ (adapted from http://centerforchristiancounseling, 2010). Informed Consent and Confidentiality Agreement Name ________________________ Date _____________ I, _______________________________ understand that Rev. Henry Limpet is an ordained pastor but is not a licensed counselor in the state of North Carolina. I, _______________________________ understand that Rev. Henry Limpet cannot keep silent on the grounds of confidentiality for the following reasons: A. When a disclosure indicates that a counselee may cause danger or harm to self or others. B. When a disclosure indicates suspected child abuse or abuse of the elderly. I, ________________________________ understand that Rev. Henry Limpet will not counsel any female or minor without a third party present. I, ________________________________ understand that the third party participant must be agreed upon by both counselor and counselee. All things discussed in the counseling sessions will remain completely confidential, unless it violates one of the reasons stated above or violates the counselors conscience or good judgment.

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The counselor will take notes during the counseling process; these notes will not be shared with anyone outside of the counseling session, unless requested by the counselee. All notes and records will be given to the counselee after the final counseling session has been completed, or destroyed upon the counselees request. The counselor will not keep any long term records on file unless expressly requested to do so by the counselee.

Overview of the Counseling Process The counseling process will be limited to no more than five sessions lasting from one hour to 1 hours maximum. The counseling session will be held weekly or bi-weekly according to the schedules and convenience of both the counselor and the counselee. Homework will be given after each counseling session based upon strategic goals agreed upon at the close of each session. At the end of each session a prescribed 10 minute break will be given for both the counselor and counselee to reflect upon the things discussed in the session. After the 10 minute break the counselor and counselee will meet briefly again for supportive feedback and closing discussion. I, _______________________________ agree to the following guidelines and requirements. I understand that solution based brief pastoral counseling is solution focused and brief in nature. I agree to end the counseling relationship after the fifth session even though I may feel additional sessions would be beneficial. Referral Process In the event that I cannot help the counselee I reserve the right to refer the individual to another source or individual who is more qualified to help. Likewise, if the counselee is not receiving the help they desire, they have the right to terminate the counseling relationship and seek help elsewhere. Heatherwood Counseling Center, Marion, VA is where I will refer counselees needing further assistance. Heatherwood Counseling Center is a Christian counseling center with trained and licensed psychologists and psychotherapists on staff.

Appendix D Annotated References Anger Coblentz, John. 1999. Putting off Anger: a Biblical Study of What Anger is and What to do About It. Christian Light Publications. ISBN: 0878135790.

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This book is an excellent source for discovering what the Bible says about anger and how to deal with it Gods way. Lester, Andrew D. 1983. Coping with Your Anger: A Christian Guide. Westminster Press. ISBN: 0664244718. Easy to use and practical guides for helping anyone deal with the detrimental effects of ongoing anger. Decision Making and the Will of God Frieson, Garry. 2004. Decision Making and the Will of God. Colorado Springs, CO: Multnomah Books. ISBN: 1-59052-205-2. A long but informative read that gives a fresh approach to making decisions in the will of God. MacArthur, John. 1977. Found: Gods Will. Colorado Springs, CO: SP Publications. ISBN: 978-1-56476-740-0. A brief, yet truth filled book that outlines Gods will from a simple and Biblical perspective. Forgiveness Smedes, Lewis B. 2007. Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Dont Deserve. HarperOne. ISBN: 978-0061285820. An excellent book for anyone to read who is struggling with bitterness inflicted from past undeserved wounds. Yancey, Philip. 2002. Whats so Amazing About Grace? Zondervan. ISBN: 9780310245650. Forgiving others is much easier when we understand how God has forgiven us. Anyone who reads this book will understand forgiveness and grace in a much deeper way. Grief Lewis, C. S. 2001. A Grief Observed. HarperOne. ISBN: 978-0060652388. A true classic and a must read for anyone who is struggling with grief or loss in their life. C.S. Lewis is truly timeless. Ziglar, Zig. 2004. Confessions of a Grieving Christian. B&H Books. ISBN: 9780805427455. This book offers an intimate look into the heart of a grieving saint of God. A book that has been written by someone who has been in the valley of despair and came out again.

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Parenting Chapman, Gary. 2005. The Five Love Languages of Children. Chicago: Northfield Publishing. ISBN: 978-1-881273-65-3. Gary Chapmans book gives great insight into learning to know your childs heart. It is amazing to discover that every child has his/her own love language waiting to be discovered. Dobson, James C. 1987. Parenting Isnt For Cowards. Dallas: Word Publishing. ISBN: 08499-4014-10-8499-3342-0. A humorous and witty, yet life changing book for any parent struggling with the most important task on earth: raising children. This book is guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and encouragement to your heart.

Appendix E Journal WK1 #1 Reference: According to Benner (2003), Pastoral ministry is broader than pastoral care; so too, pastoral care is broader than pastoral counseling (19). Reflection: This quote helped to put pastoral ministry, care and counseling into their proper perspectives. Relocation: As God continues to show me how vast and varied the role of a pastor can be, I am relieved to learn that counseling is but a small part of being a good pastor. It is not to be confused with overall pastoral care or ministry. People approach the pastor when they need counseling and the pastor should only counsel someone on a short term basis within his capabilities. In general, pastors are not qualified or trained for long term counseling, and they do not have the time due to the obligations of overall pastoral ministry. This does not mean however that they are useless as counselors; on the contrary, pastors can be very helpful in the role of counseling when they rely on upon the perfect counselor; the Holy Spirit. The healthy attitude for every pastor is best described by Clinton/Hawkins; He will bring to us the people He wants us to help, and we must learn to depend on Him to touch others in a supernatural way so that people exclaim, God showed up (and miracles happened) in the counseling session today!(8-9). WK2 #1 Reference: According to Benner (2003), It is important that the pastor resists the temptation simply to tell the parishioner what needs to be changed. This is a main difference between counseling and preaching (94).

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Reflection: This quote reminds me that as a pastor, I must constantly guard against the tendency to preach to the person being counseled, and instead listen carefully and help them discover their own solutions. Relocation: I must remember that we are to bear one anothers burdens and look out for the interest of others. As a pastor, I love to teach and instruct others in applying Gods Word in their day to day lives, but I must remember that there is a time and a place for instruction, and a time and place for compassionate listening and personal discovery. During counseling, the latter is preferred. WK3 #1 Reference: According to Kollar (1997), Or do we believe that the counseling interview is solely dependent upon our own wisdom and ability? This trust in our own understanding is what I believe results in most counselor burnout (59). Reflection: This statement reminds me that Jesus Christ is already working in the life of the counselee, and his/her improvement is not my sole responsibility. Relocation: As I continue to counsel in my current ministry and prepare for future counseling in the years to come, I must learn to not lean on my own understanding, but instead trust in the Lords wisdom and strength. I must hold to the truth that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Embracing these truths will guard me against counselor burnout. WK4 #1 Reference: According to Peterson (2007), Good listeners are worth their weight in gold. They help us sharpen our insights and directions (77). Reflection: This statement reminds me how valuable I can be to people by being a good listener. Relocation: As I continue to strive to become a better listener, I pray that the Holy Spirit will always remind me to sharpen peoples insights and direction through active listening. Help me to remember Lord, that good listeners are rare, and that I can be a tremendous blessing to someone just by listening.

WK5 #1 Reference: According to Cloud (2004), Humility could be seen as giving up the need to be greater than we are. It is giving up thinking that we know it all. Giving up thinking that we can do it all. Giving up thinking that we have to do it well all the time. Giving up thinking that we are better than others when they do not do it well. Giving up needing to be seen as the right or good all the time, and giving up defensiveness. In all these cases, the way of the dj vu person is basically to be real (209.

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Reflection: I thought I was a humble person until I read the above sentences. I now realize that although I may practice humility in some areas of my life, there is much room for improvement. Relocation: I need to give up thinking that I can do it all, and that I have to do it well all of the time. I must remember that I may sow or water a seed, but God has to make it grow. He alone can give the increase. As I am prone to be a perfectionist, I also must remember that I do not have to do it well every time. I must stop being so hard on myself. I must rest in the truth that it is Christ who works in me and through me to accomplish His good pleasure. Pleasing Him is all that matters. WK6 #1 Reference: According to Kollar (1997), Supportive feedback represents that particular aspect of the counseling interview that comes after the counselor and counselee pause to collect their thoughts (159). Reflection: This quote informs me of the importance of having prescribed time for the counselor and counselee to collect their thoughts. Relocation: In the past, I had never considered how important supportive feedback is in the counseling process. I now see it as a necessary and beneficial time for both the counselor and counselee to pause and consider what the Holy Spirit has revealed to them in the interview. This new knowledge will certainly be beneficial for continued change. WK7 #1 Reference: According to Kollar (1997), Being labeled by an expert on mental disorders and hearing him use deficiency language often locks the counselee into his problems and disorientation. But as counselors we must remind ourselves that the counselee is a child of God, with his own dreams and hopes (215). Reflection: Kollar has reminded me of the value and worth of every individual. Relocation: I now realize after reading this book of how society is guilty of over-analyzing and over-medicating so many people. Counselors are also guilty of many forms of problem focused counseling. There is such a need for solution focused pastoral counseling and I thank God for allowing me the opportunity to learn and apply it. Appendix F My Relational Style Action Plan My overarching goal for life is to allow the Lord Jesus Christ to love the people through me, serve the people through me and teach the people through me. My

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three highest spiritual gift tendencies are teaching, encouraging/exhorting and mercy. This means that I also tend to be more in depth, encouraging and caring. The overuse of these gifts sometimes makes me boring in teaching, too talkative, and too sensitive. My highest personality profile plotting point in Graph 1 is S and Graph 2 S/C. This means I tend to be more passive than active and more reserved than outgoing. The overuse of this type sometimes makes me too reserved and cautious. My most obvious combination personality and spiritual gift type (relational style) is S/C (teaching). To communicate and relate with others more effectively I should seek more relationships, jump into conversations, and mingle and relate to more people. My greatest blessing and or struggle concerning my giftedness are becoming frustrated with people who do not possess my level of giftedness in teaching, exhortation and mercy. I should guard or improve my spiritual gifts of teaching and exhortation. I should guard or improve my personality tendencies of shyness, passiveness, fear of confrontation and insecurity. I will remember to be more assertive with a D personality as this type can easily manipulate and intimidate SC personality types. I will remember that I types highly value innovation and creativity. This personality type will respond very well to innovative techniques to problem solving. I will remember that C types love details and make decisions slowly. This personality type will want all of the facts presented and will highly value competence and progress in a counseling relationship. I will remember that S types will have to be encouraged to be assertive and to make decisions. My strategy will be to draw this personality type out and give them confidence in their own ability to solve problems. To grow more spiritually, I will utilize the spiritual disciplines of prayer, scripture study and memorization, and journaling. To avoid and resolve conflicts more effectively, I will covenant with God to engage the protocol of responding and not reacting, praying for guidance, communicating to the other party, valuing the other party as Gods child. My relational style does not confine me as a person. I will choose to master my personal relational style by choosing to be led by the Spirit and conformed into the image of Jesus Christ. Paste the Final Project Grading Rubric from Assignment Instructions on the last blank page of the project.

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SOLUTION-BASED, BRIEF PASTORAL COUNSELING (SBBPC) PROJECT GRADING GUIDELINES The following represents an additive grading rubric. Instead of beginning with 400 and losing points for errors, you begin with a 0 and earn points for your work. In determining your grade, three questions will be asked: QUESTION VALUES TOTAL 400 POINTS INTRODUCTION OF SBBPC? Question Value: 40 Points

Abstract: Did it introduce context (4), overarching goal (4), and identify care seeker (2)? Table of Contents: Organized with appropriate headings & subheadings (10), References (4), each Appendix identified (12), and Grading Guideline (4)? PART 1 OF SBBPC: The Counseling Setting?

Points: 10 Points: 30

Question Value: 120 Points Points: 40

Introduction: Overview of SBBPC w/rationale (20) & assumptions (20) Pre-session Package: Essential elements explained (15), adequately prepared (15) & located in Appendix (10): Overview of SBBPC; Statement of Beliefs and/or Worldview; Ethical Guidelines; Intake Form(s); Informed Consent; and Referral Process?

Points: 40

Annotated References of 5 subjects: 3 Required - grief, anger, forgiveness; 2 students choice; and 10 annotated entries/2 per subject? Points: 20 Journal: Minimum of 7 substantive entries (Wk 1-7 = 1 per week) PART 2 OF SBBPC: The Counselors Style? Points: 20

Question Value: 40 Points

Identified relational language, described relational style (integrated assessments and course materials)?

Points: 20

Explained plan for controlling Relational Style utilizing course resources and placed Action Plan in Appendix? Points: 20 PART 3 OF SBBPC: The Counseling Strategy/Structure? Question Value: 80 Points P1: Use of assumptions, clear distinction of phase, aim, role and goal, skill set used to demonstrate fit in aligning w/counselees style?

Points: 20

40

 P2: Use of assumptions, clear distinction of phase, aim, role and goal, pastoral assessment, skill set used in collaborative goal description and identification of strengths and resources? P3: Use of assumptions, clear distinction of phase, aim, role and goal, skill set used in collaborative development of vision clarification? P4: Use of assumptions, clear distinction of phase, aim, role and goal, skill set used in consolidating change, and partnerships activated to support and secure change? PART 4 OF SBBPC: The Counseling Summation?

Points: 20 Points: 20

Points: 20

Question Value: 120 Points Points: 20 Points: 40

Discussed the versatility of the supportive feedback technique? Developed a procedure for reflexive praxis (15), identified/secured a Mentor/Friend (10), and developed debriefing guidelines (15)? SBBPC project was written according to graduate-level expectations, formatted according to Turabian (7e) Reference Style Guidelines, utilized required resources and at least two secondary sources, with Appendix (single-spaced) and not more than 40 pages (in its entirety)? Grade: Comments:

Points: 60

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