Metaphors - Utterances of Really Smart People: at Least That's What They Want You To Believe

Metaphors Utterances of Really Smart People
At least thats what they want you to believe

Page 1 Tony Emrick April 24, 2012

This book is a collection of metaphors I heard while working with a diverse group of people in 2007 through 2009. While sitting in meetings it occurred to me that the things people were saying to appear smart were actually more entertaining than the points they were trying to make. At that point I started taking two sets of notes. The first set was notes on what the meeting was supposed to be about. The second was a list of comments people said when they figured direct speak wasnt appropriate. Sadly, the second set of notes became more memorable. Enjoy this collection. I know youll shake your head knowing you laughed when people said the same thing in front of you before.

CHAPTER ONE Common Utterances 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. Its like Chewing Cotton- it gets bigger and bigger Same pair of pants, just 2 different legs Like grabbing Jell-O Parachute In perform an autopsy A leg in the stool Care and Feeding Be the heart and lungs of the organization A prickly cactus we are trying to wrestle here Mark Twain said its a horrible way to die, to be talked to death. Fully baked Roach coach (mobile concession wagon) 2 halves of the same pie Sleeve out of the vest I am all ears Rode hard and put away wet. Sometimes you have to break an egg to make an Omelet Allot of heavy lifting Cut from the same bolt of cloth Dumb it down Whole ball of wax? Lets not solve world hunger Is this going to play in Peoria Champagne results on a beer budget Throwing out the baby with the bath water Dont bite the hand that feeds you In my rice bowl Locked and loaded Its green light yellow light Weak link in the chain Draw a line in the sand On the front line Reached a cornerstone in my life Dont make a mountain out of mole hill Until I am blue in the face Just bustin your chops Im busier than a one armed paper hanger We're in the weeds on this They've got their heads in the sand Can't see the forest for the trees That ship has sailed Ramping up and turning the corner Page 3 Tony Emrick April 24, 2012

43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. 51. 52. 53. 54. 55. 56. 57. 58. 59. 60. 61. 62. 63. 64. 65. 66. 67. 68. 69. 70. 71. 72. 73. 74. 75. 76. 77. 78. 79. 80. 81. 82. 83. 84. 85. 86.
The last cherries out there that we havent plucked Get behind him with a bull whip Spinning my wheels Kicking the dust up Talking our of both sides of your mouth Size it up, chew on it and spit it out Trunk slammers door to door sales people Getting her feet wet Anal retentive? Put a bullet in it Cog that turns the wheel 93% of the people will believe it if you use statistics Soup to nuts Dead in the water Shuffle the deck chairs Never pick a fight with someone that buys ink by the barrel. Dont fight the media Its a tough nut to crack Crooked as the day is long Its on the tip of my tongue Pot calling the kettle black Cant fit a square peg in a round whole Allot on your plate Circle back Just belts and suspenders He asked me to take a deeper dive into that Minimize what he has for lunch Cut to the chase Bigger than a bread basket 1000 points of light Eating drinking and sleeping..gain some traction Create matrixes? We have a car in the garage with the engine running First peel of the onion Kick the tires Its a spaghetti bowl Radio silence Im like a wet blanket If you can build a better mousetrap we want to see that mousetrap You are now the baloney in the sandwich One leg in one camp and one leg in the other A rising tide lifts all boats Best in class Its like buying a new house, as soon as you move in and move the stove, theres a whole in the wall. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder Page 4
Tony Emrick
April 24, 2012

87. 88. 89. 90. 91. 92. 93. 94. 95. 96. 97. 98. 99. 100. 101. 102. 103. 104. 105. 106. 107. 108. 109. 110. 111. 112. 113. 114. 115. 116. 117. 118. 119. 120. 121. 122. 123. 124. 125. 126. 127. 128. 129. 130. 131.
Rubber hits the road Wound up tighter than an 8 day clock Like trying to get two pounds of meat into a one pound casing Digest the meal we have on the table Sit down and roll up our sleeves Just kinda thinking out loud Like pushing a string When you throw shit at a fan the fan is indiscriminant at who it throws the shit back at We have put that on the back burner We still have wood to chop How do you want to paint the fence and what color do you want to paint it. Are they going to run me out on a rail? Enough meat on the bones Brought in the guns Circled the wagons Playing the war games Thumbs down Its a glove fit Right around the horn Gets under my third fingernail I dont mind having some dogs but we had a litter Like salt on a wound He needs to be the air-traffic controller Boil the ocean 4 Legged Stool "Paralysis Analysis" Joined at the hip Proof is in the pudding Obviously thats bread and butter Its just soap around the bathtub Age before beauty We all put our Capris on one leg at a time I havent seen you in a month of Sundays its a mute point Faxed your wagon - proved you wrong You guys are looking at fly-shit in a jar of pepper If you look at a toilet thats the shit youre looking at. As our fearful leader The toothpaste is out of the tube The dead moose was in the middle of the table Its like heroin you are saying We dont want to open up Pandoras Box. I just threw the kitchen sink at you. Long in the tooth Half-pregnant Page 5
Tony Emrick
April 24, 2012

132. 133. 134. 135. 136. 137. 138. 139. 140. 141. 142. 143. 144. 145. 146. 147. 148. 149. 150. 151. 152. 153. 154. 155. 156. 157. 158. 159. 160. 161. 162. 163. 164. 165. 166. 167. 168. 169. 170. 171. 172. 173. 174. 175. 176.
Connect the dots While we are picking that scab Its a tough nut to crack Your ears are open like the doors of a taxi cab Once the faucet starts dripping Do I as Say not as I do If I have the nest sooner or later the eggs gotta lay If you are a follow-througher and give a rats ass. 6 ways from Sunday. We have the one leg up We are not a me too anyone They were going to dive into the MasterCard pool Doesnt solve all the worlds issues That you can drive a truck through Take everyone down a rabbit hole (tangent) Well the music stopped and there was not seat Lets give this some skull time Gravy is seeping over the sides. Number of irons in the fire "Pull a Jesus".....meaning, of course, to be resurrected, So we dont go down a rabbit hole without a return Kicking the sisters of the poor... The longest pole in the tent To beat the band I dont want to be the only one drinking the cool-aid here Its a hockey stick business we just want to be sure its not that big of a hockey stick Every ATM looks like a Winnebago heading north Lets see what the sausage maker produces Put the pedal to the metal Got an oar in the water Nip it in the bud Pet peeve Where does the road end and the trail begin? Pushing a string up a hill We crashed the plane in the side of the mountain Kinda took the chains up its a pretty warm environment Hes just kickin the can down the road Hes giving us the rope-a-dope Slower than molasses We are almost ready to give birth Knowledge without action is powerless. We want the garden hose, not the fire hose Skip the talk and do the walk Death by a thousand paper cuts Page 6
Tony Emrick
April 24, 2012

177. 178. 179. 180. 181. 182. 183. 184. 185. 186. 187. 188. 189. 190. 191. 192. 193. 194. 195. 196. 197. 198.
I have seen this movie before put a cake in the oven without knowing the ingredients we shouldnt be lifting the kimono I can put my brush marks on the Mona Lisa Vote me off the island Ignorance can be fixed, stupidity if forever sometimes scratching hurts Hind-sight is 20-20 The sound of one hand clapping We are not really breaking the piata here We have allot of road kill Its not Noahs Ark, we dont need two of everything Crocodile Tears You get caught up in your own shoelaces at sixes and sevens It can mean something thats in a state of total confusion or disarray, or people who are collectively in a muddle or at loggerheads about how to deal with some situation. Pleased as Punch Its like the blind leading the sight impaired. Lets go for a walk in the woods Its like marbles in a tube cant put more than one wrench on a bolt thats not how you perform surgery on an artery 10 lbs of stuff in a 3lb bag

CHAPTER TWO WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. Whole ball of wax? Out the wazoo The whole nine yards. Isnt 10 yards better? We are at the 11th hour. Why not the 23rd hour? This should shed some light on this if the light is bright enough... Call a spade a spade Im trying to say this in a way I can say this if you know what I mean I think we ought to sort of tongue and cheek, bite our lip. So we are not sitting there with an empty baseball glove We dont tend to be bleeding edge unless we are bleeding for some other reason If theyve have got an ox in the ditch we can help them out When you lick your mag stripe you get nutrition Might not have worked for a hill of beans One of those push and pull me things Spending Money hand over fist? Dove tail? This is sort of like a doctor telling jack the ripper how to do his job Floating with a full bundle of shingles Colder than Billy be damned? Betting on the come? Jaundice Eye? Dont throw us in a swimming pool that doesnt work for us? That gun kicks as well as it shoots! CHAPTER THREE OVERUSED DRIBBLE 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. Plug & Play Spot-On Bigger than a bread box Six of One Half-a dozen of another Its not apples to apples Out of the box At the end of the day Off the record Between you and me To be honest with you Out of pocket The bottom line is Page 8 Tony Emrick April 24, 2012

13. 14. 15. 16. 17.
Think outside the box What keeps you up at night Raise the Bar Bleeding Edge Quite Frankly CHAPTER FOUR MISUSED METAPHORS
So smart it must be right
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29.
Its kinda like walking on a fence could he have meant walking on eggshells or on the fence. Its water under the bridge? Is water under or over? On the wagon or off the wagon? Which is it? Does the same thing just a little differently? Then is it really the same? Flush it out - flesh it out? House cleaning? House keeping Pick your ear? Bend your ear/ pick your brain? Mindframe? Mindset Shaking babies and kissing hands. Just wrong Dont want to give you a straight answer (dont want to mislead you) should have just said I am going to lie to you and here it comes. On the cuffs of (cusp) He had other fish on the back burner. Other fish to fry and put in on the backburner combined Gun to my phone. Gun to my head You are felly touchy. Not really sure Is a viable alternative but it is not cutting bate! (think they meant they are not biting) Tight to the chest should be "close to the vest" There are holes in the Swiss cheese. No kidding? Its good to keep in the back of your hat. Back of your mind and in your back pocket combined I need to go russel some feathers (ruffle?) So you have a bouncing board???? Sounding board We will cross that bridge before we get there. Is that possible? Skin the world Skin the cat? Solve work hunger? Who knows? Shoot the low hanging fruit? Pick the fruit shoot the target? He crosses his arms and puts his feet in the sand? I feel like I am wearing 2 heads Its not my bag of tea That really takes the icing Horse designed by committee that turns up a camel. That would add more arsenal to our quiver Page 9
Tony Emrick
April 24, 2012

30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37.
Bulldogs in a china shop It doesnt take a rocket surgeon For all intensive purposes, Another example of the oral transformation of language by people who dont read much. For all intents and purposes is an old clich which wont thrill anyone, but using the mistaken alternative is likely to elicit guffaws. "that was last left in your ball park" Greatest think since slip-on shoes In a New York Second Like a one hand paper hanger How many times have we done a GAP analysis and found out that our underwear.. ???? CHAPTER FIVE OFF COLOR
Know your audience
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22.
Suck the chrome off a trailer hitch Colder than a well diggers ass Colder than a witches tit in a brass braw Thats awfully white of you. Light in the loafers Queerer than a 2 dollar bill Pissed on her post toasties Busier than a unmarried mother of triplets Getting me to work is like shoving hot butter up a wildcats ass. Its not easy. Busy as a one armed coat hanger guy after the show lets out! Busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest Busy as a one eyed man at a peep show Suck a watermelon thru a straw In a pissing match Go around your elbow to get to your ass Couldnt find our ass with both hands I'm going to reach up a few shirts and see if I like what I feel. It will be a circle jerk Lets just get naked (be open and honest) Looking in the deep recesses of the rectum (kingdom?) Did they give you a jar of Vaseline with that? I am dropping my drawers right now.

CHAPTER SIX SPORTS

The athlete comes out in all of us
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24.
We didn't move the chains Its not a lay-up (slam dunk?) Basic blocking and tackling Help advance the ball Ball that we are moving up the hill Go the extra yard 110% Move the needle So we are not sitting there with an empty baseball glove I am not following the bouncing ball The games ready to start and we are still in the locker room. Thats basic ball-handling Watch from the sidelines Its really easy to spit from the sidelines Recover the fumble When you throw a punch you can usually expect one back Hit a homerun The ball is in my court Full court press "Some guys were born on third base and think they hit a triple" not a student body right or a student body left this is the team on the field if you define what the play is, Im a good blocker That gun kicks as well as it shoots.
CHAPTER SEVEN ANIMALS What would we say if it werent for Animals 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Take this elephant apart Get a dog in the hunt Salmon swimming up stream Horse out of the barn Rode hard and put away wet. To choke a chicken Other ways to skin the cat Bird dogging it Page 11 Tony Emrick April 24, 2012

9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48.
Dont make a mountain out of mole hill Hair of the dog that bit you Killing 2 birds with one stone Busier than a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers. Its so hot where I am the trees are chasing the dogs for moisture Many ways to skin that cat Shes like a pit bull One trick pony I was like a dog with a bone 800 pound gorilla The horse is already out Fine as frog hair Thats a dogs breakfast Whole can of worms Its a unique bird Straw Dog Any monkey can paint by numbers We have other fish to fry Shooting fish in a barrel Got rid of cats and dogs I dont mind having some dogs but we had a litter Pulling an elephant through a straw The chicken and the egg You guys are looking at fly-shit in a jar of pepper Will the other dogs eat the dog food? If I have the nest sooner or later the eggs gotta lay If you are a follow-througher and give a rats ass. There must be a skunk in the wood pile Number of hooks in the fish as you can Herding cats on a piano top. Until the cows come home Whole hog In a coons age Higher than a cats back You need to make the dogs do what the dogs need to do Eat the elephant one bite at a time No whales, Only Minnows Killing a knat with a nuke. we are looking for the golden cow in the pasture Eye of the Tiger

49. 50. 51.
Like a cow pissing on a flat rock We dont even have a dog in the hunt Put some lipstick on the pig CHAPTER EIGHT Overused/Misused phrases
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23.
Real-time Next generation Critical mass End game On point Engage Paradigm shift Reach Out to Irregardless anything-centric Bio-break Take it off-line Recreate the wheel Intuitive Attrit Encradled Synergies no such word Piture (picture) Ast (ask) FYI Analysis paralysis Incidences - Incidents Talk track

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Metaphors Utterances of Really Smart People

At least thats what they want you to believe