Author: Stephen Covey Discover the 90/10 Principle.

It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? .By your reaction. You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react. Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? . Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day? A) Did the coffee cause it? B) Did your daughter cause it? C) Did the policeman cause it? D) Did you cause it? The answer is D". You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having. Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.

Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It CAN change your life!!!

Enjoy.

30 Methods of Influence By Stephen Covey 1. Refrain from saying the unkind or negative thing, particularly when you are provoked or fatigued. In these circumstances, to not say the unkind or critical thing is a supreme form of self-mastery. Courage is the quality of every quality at its highest testing point. If we have no model of restraint to follow, we will likely take out our frustration on our fellow workers. We may need to find new models, new examples to follow, and learn to win our own battles privately, to get our motives straight, to gain perspective and control, and to back away from impulsively speaking or striking out.

In 10 succinct pages, Stephen R. Coveys 30 Methods of Influence contains some of the greatest wisdom Ive ever read.

The methods fall into three categories: 1. Example: Who You Are and How You Act, modeling by doing (others see), 2. Relationship: Do you Understand and Care? (others feel), and 3. Instruction: What You Tell Me (others hear).

While Ive posted a blog on the 30 Methods in their entirety, they are so powerful and have had such a profound impact upon my life and effectiveness that I am now posting them one by one, one each week. Profound thoughts are best if savored, wisdom is gained most thoroughly if absorbed over time.

We all have been influenced by something and the effect of that influence had shaping power in our lives. Influence is a fragile, yet powerful entity that has the ability to both enhance or destroy the lives of others. In addition to being influenced, each of us have been put in a place of influence. There are varying degrees, but each person has some form of influence on those around them whether it is conscious or sub concious. Learning how to use your influence to benefit the lives of others is a key quality that every person should attempt to possess: I recently came across a list of influence methods, compiled by a man names Stephen Covey. He is definitely a person who understands the power of influence. This is a brief list, which requires little explanation. Read them and see which ones you might considering improving in your life:

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We all have been influenced by something and the effect of that influence had shaping power in our lives. Influence is a fragile, yet powerful entity that has the ability to both enhance or destroy the lives of others. In addition to being influenced, each of us have been put in a place of influence. There are varying degrees, but each person has some form of influence on those around them whether it is conscious or sub concious. Learning how to use your influence to benefit the lives of others is a key quality that every person should attempt to possess: I recently came across a list of influence methods, compiled by a man names Stephen Covey. He is definitely a person who understands the power of influence. This is a brief list, which requires little explanation. Read them and see which ones you might considering improving in your life: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. Refrain from saying the unkind or negative thing. Exercise patience with others. Distinguish between the person and the behavior or performance. Perform anonymous service. Choose the proactive response to every situation. Keep the promises you make to others. Focus on the circle of influence. Live the law of love. Assume the best of others. Seek first to understand. Reward open, honest expressions or questions. Given understanding responses. If offended, take the initiative to restore. Admit your mistakes, apologize and ask forgiveness. Let arguments fly out open windows. Go one on one. Renew your commitment to those you love. Be influenced by others before trying to influence others. Accept people unconditionally even though you might not approve of their decisions. Prepare your heart and mind before you prepare your speech. Avoid fight or flight; talk through your differences. Recognize and take time to teach others. Agree on the limits, rules, expectations and consequences before entering into an agreement. Dont give up and dont give in. Be there at the cross roads. Speak the language of logic and emotion the build others up. Delegate effectively with the best interest of others in mind. Involve others in meaningful service; give others ownership. Train others in the law of the harvest; you reap what you sow. Let consequences motivate you to right behavior.

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