When You Whisper Chapter 4 - First Vision Your vision will become clear only when you can

look into your own heart. Carl Jung The fact that Addy returned with Felicia to the house the next morning, a little shaken but otherwise unblemished, visibly disturbed her father and he left the girls alone for a fair stretch that extended into several months reprieve. The event had spooked the abusive man and if he did have a day where his temper got the best of him, he took it out on his wife and not his children. This persisted for longer than Addy had anticipated and she began to get a little complacent, not worrying as much about how things were going at home and being much more attentive at school, to her teachers delight. Since Addy was more alert, less skittish and seemed to have outgrown any klutzy phase that had resulted in the series of bruises she had borne, her teachers only concerns was the fact that the girl was always so reclusive. Most of the children in her class would gather and play together in small groups, but Addy always kept to herself. She wasnt disruptive, and she was becoming a very good student, so it was hard to find fault with her, but her more conscientious teachers believed it was unhealthy for her to be so anti-social. Theyd often insist that she join in with the play of some of the other students, and Addy would always comply on the most basic level, but even as she participated she appeared distant and lost in some other place altogether. The teachers in question chocked this behaviour up to some sort of severe shyness and decided that it was not something that they could remedy. After several attempts at trying to get her to mingle with her classmates, they stopped trying to force her to socialize and left her to her own devices. They had no idea that what they saw as painful self-imposed isolation was nothing of the sort. Addy was never lonely, and all of the time they believed her to be mired in timid ennui, she was actually deep in silent conversation, sharing her latest thoughts and feelings with Javan. It had been a full year and a half after the teething incident, and Addy was returning to class after lunch when a sudden sense of extreme urgency blasted through her. It was strong enough that it made her stop dead in the middle of the hallway, momentarily breathless. An icy air seemed to surround her, causing goose-bumps to rise on her flesh. Her extremities tingled and the hair stood up on the back of her neck. Something was very wrong. Javan? You have to tell them right now before its too late. You have to get somebody to go to your home. No more stalling, Addy.

Addy sighed and tried to shake herself free from the uncomfortable feeling that was causing her skin to prickle. They had argued this point many times, and she wasnt about to yield on it now not after things had been going reasonably well for quite some time. No. Weve had this talk before, and Im not going to do this again. Im not going to split up my family, Javan. If this is what you are doing to try to make me talk about it, then Im going to have to ask you to leave me alone. She made sure that her annoyance was clear in her thoughts. But something about Javans words made her uneasy this time. Even during the worst of times there had been a certain level of calm to his presence, but this time it was just frantic. Its not like that, its different this time. Something has happened that you need to know about, something that will really change things. What do I have to do to convince you how serious this is? Addy groaned inwardly. Go away, Javan. Just go away. Once again she lifted her hoodie and made a strong effort to ignore him, so his whispers were just a mild but irritating buzzing at the back of her brain. But the strange chill that made her skin feel odd did not disappear and as she started down the hall anew, the shimmery haze that had been present in the junkyard began to form in the space before her, only this time it started to take shape. Addy paused a second time. This had never happened before. The mist swirled and shifted in front of Addy. She glanced around, but nobody else in the hallway appeared to be seeing what she was seeing. She started to wonder if she were crazy again, but there were too many things that defied explanation if Javan werent real, like the encounter with the junkyard dog unless she had imagined all of that too. As the haze became temporarily more substantial and Addy could make out the form of a man with something extruding from his back, she found herself unintentionally listening to Javan instead of trying of ignoring him. This was the first time that he had taken form before her. He had regained her full attention. Addy, listen please! Your father just lost his job for striking the foreman during an argument. Hes on his way home right now, and hes furious. The place is in a mess, your mother is groggy from her pills and your sister has free run of the house. Considering the mood that your father is in before he gets home, just imagine how hes going to react when he arrives there and finds that. Addy was stunned. If what Javan said was true, her mother and sister were about to face what would probably her fathers worst blow-out yet. She would have to act to protect them or else, and she couldnt help them from where she was. He was right. It didnt matter what the consequences would be as far as her family unity was concerned. She would have to tell someone,

she would have to warn them what was about to happen so that they could stop it. She wouldnt put it past her father to kill someone in the state of mind that he would be in. But would anyone believe her? How do you know all of this, Javan? What are you? How do I know this isnt some sort of trick? Ive asked this of you before, and I havent let you down yet. You have to trust me. Im someone that cares. Im a friend, and Im trying to help. Do what your heart tells you to do, Addy. Her head didnt want to believe any of it, but her heart told her that Javan wouldnt lie to her. She veered around so quickly that the heel of her sneaker squealed against the polished floor tiles. Then she ran. Addy was forced to fight her way through the tide of students hurrying back to class in order to get to the principals office, desperation urging her forward with as much speed as she could muster. She arrived at the doorway stooped and breathless. The secretary looked at her and frowned. Adelaide, you know theres no running allowed inside the school. There was surprise in the womans voice. Addy was never one to break the rules. Help! I...need...help! the dishevelled girl gasped. The secretary, an older woman with short-cropped hair and a mouth that seemed too big for her face, leaped to her feet and rushed over to her. Asking for help was another thing that the woman had never seen from Addy. What is it? Are you hurt? Are you sick? Should I fetch the nurse? She gave Addy the once over, scrutinizing her carefully for any signs of serious injury. Addy shook her head. My mother...and my sister...theyre in trouble. The secretary stood up straight and stepped back, putting her hands on her hips. What do you mean by that? she asked. At that same moment the principal arrived in the office, returning from lunch. He was a lanky man who looked older than he was because of a receding hairline and the early formation of jowls. He came to an abrupt halt upon spotting Addy. Whats going on here? he demanded. Addy stared at him with worried eyes. She came here looking for help, his assistant informed him. She claims her mother and sister are in trouble.

The look that passed between man and woman was a doubtful one they both knew that Addy did not come from a family who could afford to supply their eight-year-old with a cell phone. She would have no way of checking in with her family during the middle of the school day in order to get news of trouble. But they also both recalled the rumours that had been traded in the staff room in the past, suspicions of abuse in Addys family, but not ones that had ever been confirmed. Addy had always denied any suggestions that there might be problems at home and had blamed the rash of bruises that she often wore on being accident prone. The rumours had died along with passing of the regular appearance of those bruises. Now Adelaide, really how would you possibly know something like that? the principal asked. Im sure theyre fine for the moment. What would make you so worried, for their sake? Addy visibly deflated on the spot. How could she ever convince them without telling them about Javan, and that was assuming that there was some way she could get them to believe he really existed, when she still had a hard enough time believing it herself. She wasnt about to give up, despite this. Balling up her fists, setting her jaw and bowing her head, she revealed the thing she had been fighting Javan over, the thing that she had avoided admitting since he had first begun speaking to her. My father when he gets mad he he hits us. He just lost his job. Hes going to be mad. Hes going to be really mad. Hell hurt them. Im scared hes going to really hurt them badly this time. She felt as though someone had just punched her in the stomach as the words slipped out of her mouth. What came next made it worse. This is a serious accusation, Adelaide. Youve been asked about this in the past and you claimed that there was nothing wrong at home. People are going to question why youve changed your story why now. Are you sure you want us reporting this to child services to investigate? If youre making this up, it will be extremely disruptive to your family, without cause. The process is really intrusive. Theyll be digging into every aspect of your life. The principal was firm but gentle. Her teachers had been convinced that things werent right where Addy was concerned, but he didnt know her well enough to be certain, and he still had to make sure that she was aware of the repercussions, in case she were lying. Addys eyes widened and her breath quickened. Reporting? Investigate? No no, that will be too late. They need someone to help them right now. They cant wait that long. You have to send somebody now. They need help right now! As the thought that nobody would be rushing to her familys aid struck home, she started to tremble. He would kill them this time. Addy was sure of it; that was why Javan had warned her. Calm down, dear, calm down, the secretary said, placing her hands on Addys shoulders. These things take time. Theyll need to assign a worker to your case and your parents will have to be interviewed. If theres any concern that you or your sister are at risk, theyll find a safe place for you to go.

They dont understand, Addy. They dont see the immediate danger. You should have listened to me sooner. Well just have to find another way. Addy heard Javan clearly, but she wasnt done trying to make her point. She shook herself free from the womans grasp, tears of frustration beginning to well in her eyes. They dont have time! Why wont you listen to me!? Addy railed unhappily. Youve gotten yourself much too worked up, Adelaide. Maybe youve been thinking about the worst possible things that could happen and let your imagination run away with you. They were fine when you left this morning, werent they? Why would you have any reason to believe that they are otherwise now? Why this sudden need for action? The principal crouched to her level as he questioned her, speaking quietly. Addy knew he was just trying to settle her and put her more at ease. He didnt necessarily think she was crazy, but he did appear to believe that she was high-strung and suffering from unwarranted anxiety. If she mentioned Javan, however, that would quickly change. They would likely dismiss everything that she had to say. She bit her lip, holding back additional protests. Why dont you go lie down in the sick room for a little while, Adelaide, the man continued, trying to be sympathetic to her distress. Relax, and maybe have a little nap until youve calmed yourself enough to return to class. Well let your teacher know not to expect you back right away; well deal with this promptly, and make sure that theres someone working on your situation as soon as possible. You can let this be someone elses worry from here on out. Addy brushed the tears hastily away from her face and with shoulders hunched, started off in the direction of the sick room. She heard them speaking in hushed voices as she left. What a shame - shes such a fragile soul. Shed have so much potential in the proper environment... She was certain that she couldnt depend on them for the kind of help that she needed. She would have to come up with a plan of her own. What do I do now, Javan? What do I do? You tried, Addy. No one could expect more from you. Im sorry. I guess now you have to focus on keeping yourself safe. Maybe well find you another place to hide until they send someone to sort things out. Addy stopped walking. She was almost at the sick room, which was not far from the main doors of the school. You want me to just let this happen save myself and abandon them? she breathed. I might be able to do that if it were just my mother, since shes been happy to desert me and Felicia, but I cant do that to my sister. All we have is each other.

Addy recognized that she had Javan too, but right now she was angry at him for suggesting such a thing, and hoped that her words would sting. She regretted it immediately, the pain he felt from the jab washing over her as well. Addy what are you planning? You tried your best. Theres nothing else to do. She shook her head. How is it any different now? I never had anyone to help me before, other than you. Ill just have to do things the same way Ive had to do them in the past. Ill handle it myself, she thought. Without a second thought, Addy started to run for the doors with the intent to exit the building. She wouldnt be missed from class right away, and by the time they realized she was gone, she likely would have made it home. No! Dont go back there! How am I supposed to keep you safe? She chose to ignore Javan. This wasnt about herself, to Addy, this was all about Felicia. If those she had tried to appeal to were going to leave this problem in the hands of a child to resolve, then so be it. She had trusted the insight that Javan had provided her and now she was running on instinct. Self-preservation had never been a strong point with her, not when her sister was involved. The distance between her house and the school was a significant one for someone so young and so slight, but panic drove her to run the entire way. Javan pleaded with her all along the route, begging her to turn around and go back, but Addy continued to refuse his demands, focussed on a task that she considered absolutely essential.. He even tried to appear before her three times along the way when she slowed to collect her breath, his misty presence taking subtle form again, but she steeled herself each time and simply ran through him. She wasnt going to let him stop her. As she neared her front door, she paused to catch her breath. She could hear her father yelling inside from where she was, hesitating on the sidewalk as she crouched and panted. His enraged voice carried quite well. Javan tried to entreat her again. Addy, dont do this. Please dont do this. How am I supposed to watch over you? I cant protect you properly in there. Im not powerful enough. I can fight inner demons but I cant fight monsters. He has no soul. Youre no fighter either. Addy eyed the front door and decided that it wasnt her best approach. She started creeping around the back, still breathing heavily. You did what you could, Javan, she said quietly, between breaths. I have to take it from here. Ill figure out a way to do this. What is it youre always telling me? Have faith?

I always do, he murmured. But you have free will, and thats what scares me. Youre not ready to make this choice. Youre too young to make this kind of sacrifice not now. I cant believe that He intended it to happen this way. This isnt a matter of faith. Then believe something else, but youre not changing my mind. I made a promise. I made a promise that I wouldnt let him hurt her, and Im going to keep that promise, Addy insisted. She tiptoed up the back stairs and opened the door quietly. The scene within was not exactly what she was expecting. Her mother was actually standing up to her father for a change, but not with any real heart. She was screaming at her husband to let go of Felicia, but he was shouting threats and insults back at his wife, his booming voice drowning hers out. They both gripped their daughter by opposing wrists, causing the poor little girl to be yanked back and forth in some sort of obscene tug-of-war. Addy stood stock still just inside of the back door, trying to decide what to do. Her little sister looked shaken and terrified, but not really harmed in any way, physically, yet. Addy wasnt sure exactly how the argument had started, but could easily imagine something of what must have happened. Her father had likely come in, already in a very foul mood because of the incident at work, and found the house in shambles. He had then probably gone up to the bedroom and dragged his groggy wife out of bed, screaming at her over the mess and ready to unleash some of his rage and frustration upon her, given the slightest excuse. Felicia would have been upset by his outburst and the mistreatment of her mother and may have even tried to intervene, painting a target solidly on her back in the process. He had turned the blame of all of his troubles on her instead. That had been the point where Addy had entered. The little leech has sucked the life right out of you, woman! You aint been the same since you brought her home. I shouldve beaten her out of you when she was still in your belly, tossed her in some dumpster and saved us all a truck-load of trouble! Shes always been a problem. At least the mutt knows her place. This one this one you brought me home is trash, and probably some other mans trash! She aint nothing like me! You probably whored yourself out to some neighbourhood junkie! I wouldnt put it past you spreading your legs for the first dog that came sniffing around here! Every time he raised his voice a little louder, Addys father would give Felicias arm a solid jerk. Addy was worried that if she didnt do something soon, her father would wrench her sisters shoulder right out of its socket. With each jarring pull, Felicia would squeal and cry even harder. Leave her alone, Addys mother pleaded. This aint her fault, and you know it. Shes just a little girl, and youre scaring her. Let her go. Ill clean things up and fix you something to eat, but let her go. It aint her fault! The mans face reddened and a vein throbbed on his forehead as he swelled with rage. Why do you think I was in shit at work in the first place? Theyre still holding those days over my head that I came in late cause she kept me up half the night! They claimed that I wasnt hauling my weight on the site, and thats damn well why!

He certainly wasnt about to acknowledge any of the blame could be attributed to his drinking and that he had shown up several times in the last few months with a severe hangover. The odd sleep-deprived night because of Felicia had happened long before that and had been forgotten at this point in time. His foremans displeasure had actually been the result of more recent events. Better yet, Addys fathers supervisor had only been giving him a warning. If the irate man had not lost his temper, overreacted and struck the foreman, he would still have a job. Admitting to that, however, would be admitting that he was the one at fault, and Addys father never did that. Felicias cries increased in intensity as he gave her a rather severe shake, her reaction catching the furious mans attention once more. He lowered his face to her level and glared at her menacingly, leaning in inches away from the small girl. SHUT UP! he bellowed at the top of his lungs. SHUT UP OR I WILL FUCKING WELL SHUT YOU UP FOR GOOD, YOU NOISY WASTE OF SPACE AND MONEY! All this succeeded in doing was frightening Felicia even more, who jumped, screeched and tried futilely to wriggle free from her fathers iron grip. In response to this, he balled his fist of his free hand and drew it back, preparing to strike his younger daughter full force. Addy came to conclusion that she had to act and could no longer delay, for Felicias sake, even if she wasnt sure how she could help. Spurred on by the need to draw her fathers attention away from her sister, she ran up the stairs and raised her foot as she reached the man, who was not yet aware that she was there. With every morsel of strength in her body, she kicked her father squarely in his Achilles tendon. Three things happened. Addys mother let out a shrill scream and released her grip on Felicia, completely startled by her elder daughters sudden appearance. Secondly, her husband, who was now off-balance, also released his grip on the smaller child with a roar of pain and Felicia immediately took advantage of the situation to scurry out of sight into her bedroom. And lastly, the man fell. The problem was, he fell backwards, which was exactly where Addy was located, and he toppled into her, taking the much smaller child with him as he tumbled down the stairs. To say that Addys was crushed in the fall was an understatement. Her father was a husky man, almost as wide as he was tall and dense too, most of that muscle cultivated by years of manual labour. Addy was underdeveloped for her age and had little mass to resist his weight when he sprawled on top of her as they hit bottom. The pain of several bones breaking was so severe that she blacked out briefly, and when she came to her ears were ringing and she couldnt catch her breath. Her legs were bruised but otherwise uninjured from the fall, but her right arm lay limp and she could not feel her fingers and her chest ached with a fierce pain like none she had ever experienced before. Javans shouts reverberated inside her head, and at first she could not make sense of them, partially because of her fathers loud moaning in her ear. He had been both injured and dazed by the fall as well. Addy! Addy, can you hear me? Are you okay? Javans words were frantic and plaintive. She could tell that even though it felt as if she were hearing them through a thick wad of cotton.

Addy, if you can get up, you have to. If at all possible, you need to run. Youve got to get out of here before he comes to his senses. Go! Go now! Obliging Javans request was more difficult for Addy than her protector likely realized. A portion of her fathers mass was keeping her pinned to the floor. She had to actively squirm her way out from underneath his dead weight, the man still lost in a daze caused by the fall, but every movement caused her little broken body to scream with pain. She finally managed to free herself completely from his bulk, and she staggered to her feet, glancing about dizzily. Felicia had made herself scarce, frightened out of her wits, and was nowhere in sight or earshot. Addys mother had gone back to being as useless as she almost always was in these kinds of situations, and she was lying in a crumpled heap at the top of the stairs, sobbing. Addys father continued to stir where he lay on the floor. Never mind them, Addy, Javan urged. Go! Just go! Satisfied that Felicia was safe for the moment, Addy did as she was told. She used what adrenaline she had left in her system and a burst of endorphins that helped numb her pain, to bolt out of the front door, since her fathers prone forming was blocking her way to the back. She tore blindly down the street, her right arm sagging unresponsively as she ran, not really knowing where it was that she was going. That was when she saw Mrs. Johansson a short stretch up the block, emerging out of her home. Without much thought, Addy turned and headed her way. The older woman did not notice her at first, not until Addy was almost right on her doorstop. She smiled in greeting until she realized that Addy was in distress. Addy stopped in front of her wavering and wheezing, trying to catch her breath but failing. Addy? Addy dear, whats wrong? Mrs. Johansson asked her, with concern in her voice. But Addy didnt get the chance to answer her. The injured girl heard only the sound of Javans garbled anxious words echoing through her mind as the world began to swim, and then faded into blackness.