The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is continually withheld from many of their desires by physical limitations. We use baby entrance, fences, locks on doors and cabinets (restricted areas ), cribs, playpens, leashes, as well as brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the young child; monitoring what he or she sees, where he will go, and with whom he affiliates. These barriers are mainly for the purpose of protecting the child through himself - from their own desire to seek his own will prior to an age whenever he has knowledge, self-discipline, anxiety when the Lord, or help from the Holy Spirit to resist that which is harmful to him. The School-Age Child is still in bondage under the elements of the world. Gal. 4:three Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. Prov. 22 :15a Having foolishness in his heart, he is likely to act the part of a fool - a fool hath no enjoy understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he constantly desires to venture into the "department store" of the flesh. There is nothing more dangerous than allowing a child to "discover themself " at this age. The heart is deceitful above all points, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jer. 17 :9 Being at the beginning of their "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless at controlling his own desires; and the fleshly nature is thought to be a fascinating friend rather than seen to contain no good thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must protect him from his own most detrimental enemy - his flesh, and two other predatory opponents -- the world and the demon. Childhood is the time to train your son or daughter in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As parents, you must become an outer boundary that restricts the actual fleshly nature of the child until the time that he has built inner boundaries and has internal help from the Lord. The outside barriers must remain well beyond the crib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the actual speech and actions (that arise from the thoughts). As a child gets older, curiosity about the outer world and his body's desires increases, and the pull from the inner fleshly nature gets to be more demanding. There is every indication in the Bible which God expects total mental (2 Cor. 10:5 ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the type of discipline that leads one to existing his body as a living sacrifice (Rom. 12:1 ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as do Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in several Christian schools the drawbacks (peer influence, poor discipline, poor spiritual environment, etc.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are those that greatly help to build mental and physical self-discipline, and should end up being seriously considered by home school parents. Self-discipline in a college is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to deliver books, homework, long-term assignments, etc. To school complete as well as on time. 2. The delay of the physical gratification/needs associated with walking about, bathroom split, water, etc. 3. The actual delay of the physical gratification of eating (only from lunch).

4. The denial of the desire to speak so as to concentrate on work. 5. The denial of the desire to talk so as to help others function. 6. The delay from the desire to speak to cooperate throughout group work. 7. Projects totally dictated by the teacher. 8. The denial associated with comfort to one's body (sitting upright on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (vs. Clutter, toys available, and so on.). 10. A day scheduled in to definite, fixed time slot machines with limited time between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech and behavior, should, by the adolescent years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:twenty-four ); not only in the sense associated with Salvation secured, but visiting Jesus Christ for help with self-discipline. Correction from his parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ in order to save him from eternal passing away in Hell. Prov. 23 :13,14 Later within the teenage years, he has realized that outward control (still some barriers and self-discipline, but much more guidance) coupled with his own emerging self-discipline still fails to keep his skin under control. He must eventually recognize that by himself he cannot "hang on" and do right - especially in regard in order to emotions and sexual wishes. He is coming to the understanding of for I know that within me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but wait, how to perform that which is good i find not. Romans seven :18 Trust in his parents to assist "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and measures must now be directed toward one who is able to help from within his heart. If, having achieved this during the teenage many years, he can now say i will do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower in the enemy. Psalms 61:three The LORD is my strength and my protect ; my heart trusted within him, and I am assisted : therefore my heart significantly rejoiceth; and with my tune will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he as soon as trusted in his parents, an adolescent should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am along with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; yes,I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not unto [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a parent, you are his guide, his protector (from the world, their flesh, and the devil), and his external barrier to that that he desires to do that would develop poor habits and, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a child generally lives for today as a slave to his flesh. Parents must continuously be alert for opportunities to direct the mind toward an organized, Biblically-based, inner control of ideas, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from an understanding of sin. I would have you wise unto that which is nice, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your son or daughter from excessive thoughts about or interest in the things of this world. And truly, if they have been mindful of that country through whence they came out, they may

have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all diligence ; for out of it are the issues of life. Prov. 4 :23 "Keeping" a kid's heart is the parents' responsibility ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized thoughts when they reflect wishes of the flesh. For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Prov. 23 :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application of self-discipline. Deut. 6:six,7 Is. 30:20,21 5. Point out good examples leading to success and failure - from the bible and from life. Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 nobleman 1:5,6 judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - considering, reasoning; and memorization of verses, facts from subjects, poems, songs, etc. Your child's education should always have a way of measuring difficulty. Fun in education has its place, but diligent work should be the main activity. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier associated with Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good training, by necessity, will involve conflict with the fleshly nature of the child. 2. Train your child to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time instruction him to be cautious about choosing people to follow (strangers, etc.). Obey them that have the rule over you, as well as submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, looking for whom he may devour. One Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant attitude in all things. Work as faithfully on attitude as you perform on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, simply because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in knowledge and stature, and in favor with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent obstacles to unwanted actions. Demand desired actions when told the first time! It is poor training to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed behavior training (calling several times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repetitive infractions and encouragement for achievement (without inflating self-esteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate within the Biblical basis for physical self-discipline and teach the actual practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is short, and the days are evil! Ep. Five :16 You have a brief opportunity (which is sharply reduced in the arrival of the teenage many years ) to instill the mental "operating system" that will guide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "enjoy " the antics of a kid with little self-discipline. Should you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," you and he will pay a dear price - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a child is not an adult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but childhood is the time to train the future grownup. View all training because preparation for future service for the Lord. Train a child to become

a useful servant of the Lord- strong in belief and in character! This is the parents' responsibility, and is not to be delegated to the church or a religious school. Homeschool parents have a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or perceived inability, are ignoring character building while concentrating on child-centered academics. It will be difficult to place a barrier around your child's fleshly character. Each child will be different; some will put up more of a "battle " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do tend to be, perhaps, being prepared for any more difficult life of service for the Lord. Do not fail these types of children in their preparation by utilizing excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be arranged by the "trainers." While you might need to let down your guard and indulge in poor character, remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me, even as I also am associated with Christ. 1 Cor. 11 :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition training and consistency in correction and discipline. Train upward a child in the way he should go : and when he is old, he'll not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the actual rewards of careful work to character building are great ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 it is possible to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build an inner restraint against the desires of the flesh - by providing consistent outer restraints as well as expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body system, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the actual Lord (which greatly reinforces inner restraint); and to teach to obey as viewing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me : I will teach you the fear from the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for power and direction (recognizing which help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 o LORD, I know that the clear way of man is not in themself : it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To be accountable for the use of time. 1 Peter 4:2 2. To understand to wait to speak. James one :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. 1 Thes. 2:4 4. To learn to weigh thoughts very carefully before speaking. Ps. 34 :13 Prov. 13:three ; 21:23 5. To be able to carry out unpleasant tasks without stress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind in order to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure hard trials. James 1:2,3 8. To learn to perform unpleasant habits. 9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :27 10. To keep thyself real. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:8

11. To keep rule over his own spirit (emotions). Prov. 25:28 12. To complete a project through inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To refuse the lust of the flesh (unavailable/wrong material or bodily desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to become content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to work with no expectation of instant reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to an additional rather than to seek one's personal will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set before him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To rely upon the LORD with all thine coronary heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To deny feelings and choose to do what is right. 1 Kings eighteen :21 20. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. One Cor.8:13 21. To develop mental discipline (Disciplined thoughts Disciplined body). 2 Cor. 10:5 22. To keep in work despite personal physical rebellion. Lam. 3 :27 23. To be a servant rather than a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's individual name and family name (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and self-discipline with a good attitude. Prov. 3 :11; 15:10 27. In order to cooperate with the needs associated with others - to acknowledge his needs for the benefit of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly worth system that directs daily decisions. Gen. 24:33 Col. 3:2 29. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. 1 Peter 2:18 30. To develop a mental alertness. One Peter 5:8 31. To be able to refuse negative peer pressure. Ex. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers associated with me, even as I also 'm of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, full of Israel; To know wisdom and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to get the instruction of knowledge, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young man understanding and discretion. Prov. 1 :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the manner he should go: and when he is old, he will not go away from it. Prov. 22 :6 Because sentence towards an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the coronary heart of the sons of men is actually fully set in them to do evil. Ec. 8:eleven Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the fishing rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to place you always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth. Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you upward by putting you within remembrance. 2 Peter 1 :12,13 Implementing Goals For every goal that you desire to be fulfilled in your child, make a particular, long-range plan to see your goal accomplished. Follow the design of: EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING.

SAMPLE: Goal #1: self discipline is needed to be accountable for the use of time. Example: Be conscious of time in your own life. Display a concern for your own use of period. Be on time to chapel, appointments, class, etc. Don't waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to become done without stopping to experience or to talk to others. Anticipate schoolwork to be done with out wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, etc.) As your children get older (of sufficient age to easily tell the time and own a watch), expect them to be ready for church on time (without being told), get up on time (with the use of an alarm clock), plan ahead to be ready for a specific bedtime, set the table prior to an appointed time, be in from outside play at a certain time, and so on. Teach your child the value of your time how to use it sensibly, how to plan ahead, and how to function to meet deadlines and agendas (long and short-range). Have him memorize verses having to do with time, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, unfaithfulness, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:14 ) Training: Discipline in some manner when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, overlooked, or forgotten. Let your child know that excuses such as "we forgot" will not be accepted! self-discipline for wasted time when he is expected to be working (take time off from free/recess time, and so on.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical self-discipline, when necessary. He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. Thirteen :24 Foolishness is sure in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall generate it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn blessing due to a failure in the responsibility to do that which was taught. Whenever self-discipline fails, the old nature will be reinforced/encouragedbecause the joys of sin were permitted without any unpleasant consequences. In the event that unpleasant consequences are not organized by parents now, the actual unpleasant consequences will come when the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those unfortunate things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not instantly discovered by a parent). Attributed to God, we would also make reference to this as "learning hard way-by experience." Being assured of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it before day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is God which worketh in you both to may and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. Two :13 Jeremiah 29