Gratitude: The Forgotten Virtue

It's Danke in German, Merci in French, Gracias in Spanish, Xia-xia in Chinese and Nandri in Tamil. In English, it simply means 'Thank You.' 'Thank You' - It is one of the most polite and welcome phrase in the language of love. To thank is to be grateful. And it is a happy feeling enjoyed by both the giver and the receiver. It is a virtue shared even by the animals. A dog, for example, will wag its tail upon receiving food from its master. Even though gratitude is an act that can bring joy to our hearts, it continues to be an under-rated virtue. The increasing number of Old Folks Home, the rise in the rate of suicides and abortions are some of the dreadful consequences brought about by the lack of gratitude. At times, we too, take things for granted and fail to appreciate the efforts made by others to make our lives easier. The Bible too is very clear on this point. In Luke 17, Jesus was amazed to see out of the ten lepers he had healed, only one came back to thank him, and that being a foreigner too. Why is it so necessary to have this virtue? What are the benefits of being grateful? Is it because of its sentimental value? That it makes us good to say 'Thank you'? No! The value of gratitude stretches far beyond that. It is more than giving us the happy feeling. It actually enriches our whole life and the lives of others around us as well. Personally, being grateful helps us to appreciate life better. When we practise the art of gratitude, we become more aware of the many beautiful things in our lives. It makes us more sensitive to all the good things that life has to offer. We will no longer take things for granted. And when that happens, our lives will become brighter, more alive, and more meaningful. There is a true story told that a certain doctor in NSW, Australia who would even prescribe a 'Thank you Cure' for some of his patients who came to him discouraged and full of negative thoughts. Now this doctor would tell his patients, "For six weeks, I want you to say 'Thank you' whenever anyone does you a favour and to show you mean it, emphasize the words with a smile." And true enough, more often than not, these patients would return to him, very much convinced that people had become more kind and friendly toward them. The art of gratitude will not only help the person who says it but also the one who receives it(The giver). It affirms the receiver that his effort to help is not in vain but is very much acknowledged and appreciated. It strengthened his conviction that giving is indeed a worthy cause. That it pays to give. And in this respect, gratitude fosters cooperation and helps to promote the art of giving. Last but not least, gratitude also helps in building up our faith in God. To keep our relationship with God alive, we must never stop thanking him. When we thank God, we

accept the fact that he is alive and is working in our lives. And so we put our trust and confidence in him as our provider and saviour. Look at Jesus! He could thank God even before his prayer was answered. We can read these instances both in the multiplication of bread and fish(Matthew 15:36) and the raising of Lazarus(John11:41). This offering of thanks, given before and not after the miracles, is an act of faith in itself. It has been said that as christians, we ought to thank God for all the good things that He has been blessing us with. We can thank God for our beautiful country, Malaysia, for our wonderful parents, great friends, so on and so forth. But the real test in gratitude, my friends, lies not in our ability to give thanks in good times but in bad times. When we are criticised, betrayed or persecuted, can we be thankful in these hours? For the trials that we face? We have to! For this is what the Scriptures in 2 Thessalonians 5:14 exhorts us to:"Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks under ALL circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." So whether we like it or not, we must learn to thank God for all the trials in our lives. These trials are not meant to discourage us or destroy us. Far from it as the words of St James tells us : "My brethren, consider yourself fortunate when all kind of trials come your way, for you know that when your faith succeed in facing such trials, the result is ability to endure. And make sure that your endurance carry you all the way without failing, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."(James 1:2-4). As you can see, these trials are meant to build us up, not tear us down. Thus we must learn to deal with these trials in a new way - The Thankful Way. Especially when we are criticised. More often than not, we get disheartened and angry. most of the time we want to fight back. But psychologists would tell that most of our criticisms are useful if we look at them positively. In the book 'The Song of the Bird', Fr Anthony de Mello told a wonderful story from the Middle East on the kind of attitude that we should have in facing criticisms or difficulties of life. In this story, there was a monkey up a coconut tree and being naughty, it hurled a coconut at the head of a sufi, a religious man. What was remarkable was that this man did not reacted angrily or showed any obscene signs towards the monkey despite the pain he was experiencing. Instead, he picked the coconut up, said 'Thank you', drank the milk, ate the flesh and made a bowl from the shell. Making full use of the coconut thrown at him. Perhaps, there is an important lesson on gratitude that we can draw here. And I sincerely believe if we can do what the sufi master did, then we can fully appreciate whatever life is throwing at us in a grateful manner. Recognizing the importance of being grateful under all circumstances, let us now look at

some of the ways to express our gratitude for the things that we are grateful for. The most common way to express our gratitude is simply by saying "Thank You!" whenever we receive a favour. Of course it would be much sweeter if accompanied by a smile. Some people would give a peck, a kiss or even a big hug but I hope it won't go beyond that! Another popular way of saying thanks is done through writing. Writing a thank you note or sending a thank you card. The effect seem to last longer and furthermore we can keep it as souvenir. Previously, I never believe in this sort of things and consider them childish. Until I got one myself. Now I hope to get more of them! Next, we can also express our thankfulness through our actions. By sharing with others what we have received, by praying for those who has helped us, by making secret sacrifices for them or repaying their kindness in whatever way we can. So many ways. The holy spirit will guide you and teach you what to do. Brothers and sisters, as Christians, our whole life should be an act of thanksgiving.Both to the God who is in heaven and to the God who is in the hearts of each and everyone of us. As a generous God, he has given us everything of himself. His only Son, His Holy Spirit, His Mother, His angels, His saints, His goodness, His faithfulness. Everything! it is up to us now to respond to His generosity. To respond to the call of St Paul in Ephesians 5:50 that "In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, always give thanks for everything to God the Father." In the words of Lyndon B. Johnson, "Let's go home tonight and let's not weep on our pillow. Let's us say our prayer and thank our Good Lord Almighty that we are as lucky as we are and that we enjoy the blessings that are ours." Thank you for listening and God bless