The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is constantly withheld from many of his desires by physical restrictions. We use baby gates, fences, locks on doors and cabinets (restricted areas ), cribs, playpens, leashes, as well as brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the young child; monitoring what he sees, where he will go, and with whom he affiliates. These barriers are primarily for the purpose of protecting the child through himself - from his own desire to seek his own will prior to an age when he has knowledge, self-discipline, a fear of the Lord, or help from the Holy Spirit to avoid that which is harmful to him or her. The School-Age Child continues to be in bondage under the aspects of the world. Gal. 4:three Foolishness is bound down the middle of a child. Prov. 22 :15a Having foolishness in his heart, he is likely to act the part of a fool - a fool hath no enjoy understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he constantly desires to venture into the "department store" of the flesh. NOthing is more dangerous than permitting a child to "discover himself " at this age. The coronary heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who are able to know it? Jer. 17 :9 Being at the beginning of his "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless at controlling his own desires; and also the fleshly nature is regarded as a fascinating friend rather than seen to contain no great thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must safeguard him from his own most detrimental enemy - his skin, and two other predatory opponents -- the world and the devil. Childhood is the time to train your son or daughter in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As a parent, you must become an external boundary that restricts the actual fleshly nature of the child until the time that he has built inner boundaries and has internal help from the Lord. The outside obstacles must remain well beyond the crib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the speech and actions (which arise from the thoughts). As a child gets older, curiosity about the external world and his body's wishes increases, and the pull of the inner fleshly nature becomes more demanding. There is each and every indication in the Bible which God expects total psychological (2 Cor. 10:5 ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the kind of discipline that leads one to existing his body as a residing sacrifice (Rom. 12:1 ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as did Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting offers some advantages, although in many Christian schools the disadvantages (peer influence, poor discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are those that greatly help to construct mental and physical selfdiscipline, and should end up being seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in a college is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to provide books, homework, long-term projects, etc. To school complete as well as on time. 2. The delay of the physical gratification/needs of walking about, bathroom split, water, etc. 3. The delay of the physical satisfaction of eating (only from lunch). 4. The denial of the desire to speak in order to concentrate on work.

5. The actual denial of the desire to speak so as to help others work. 6. The delay of the desire to speak to cooperate throughout group work. 7. Projects totally dictated by the instructor. 8. The denial of comfort to one's body (sitting up on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (vs. Clutter, toys available, and so on.). 10. A day scheduled into definite, fixed time slot machines with limited time in between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech as well as behavior, should, by the adolescent years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:twenty-four ); not only in the sense of Salvation secured, but coming to Jesus Christ for assist with self-discipline. Correction from their parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ in order to save him from eternal death in Hell. Prov. 23 :13,14 Later within the teenage years, he has realized that outward control (nevertheless some barriers and self-discipline, but much more guidance) coupled with his own emerging self-discipline still fails to keep his flesh under control. He must eventually recognize that by himself he can't "hang on" and do right - especially in regard in order to emotions and sexual desires. He is coming to the knowledge of for I know that within me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good i find not. Romans 7 :18 Trust in his parents to help "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and measures must now be directed toward one that is able to help from within his heart. If, having accomplished this during the teenage years, he can now say i will do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower in the enemy. Psalms 61:3 The LORD is my personal strength and my protect ; my heart trusted within him, and I am assisted : therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he as soon as trusted in his parents, a teenager should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yes,I will uphold thee using the right hand of my personal righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all [his] heart; and [must not] lean not on to [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a parent, you are his guide, his protector (from the world, their flesh, and the devil), and his external barrier to that that he desires to do that would develop poor habits and, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a young child generally lives for these days as a slave to their flesh. Parents must constantly be alert for opportunities to direct the mind toward a structured, Biblically-based, inner control of ideas, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from a knowledge of sin. I maybe have you wise unto that which is nice, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your child from excessive thoughts about or interest in the things of this world. And truly, if they have been mindful of that country through whence they came out, they may have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all diligence ; for out of it are the

problems of life. Prov. Four :23 "Keeping" a kid's heart is the parents' responsibility ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized thoughts when they reflect desires of the flesh. For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Prov. 23 :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application of self-discipline. Deut. 6:six,7 Is. 30:twenty,21 5. Point out good examples leading to success and failure - from the holy bible and from life. Now all these things happened on to them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, on whom the ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 kings 1:5,6 judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - thinking, reasoning; and memorization associated with verses, facts from subjects, poems, songs, etc. Your son or daughter's education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in training has its place, but diligent work should be the main exercise. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good training, by necessity, will involve turmoil with the fleshly nature of the child. 2. Train your son or daughter to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time instruction him to be cautious about choosing people to follow (strangers, etc.). Obey them that have the rule over you, as well as submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant attitude in all things. Work as diligently on attitude as you perform on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the actual presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. (He was 12 at that time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent barriers to unwanted actions. Demand desired actions when informed the first time! It is poor instruction to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed obedience (calling several times, counting to 10, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repeated infractions and encouragement for success (without inflating selfesteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate within the Biblical basis for bodily self-discipline and teach the practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is short, and the days are evil! Ep. Five :16 You have a brief chance (which is sharply reduced at the arrival of the teenage years ) to instill the mental "operating system" that will guide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "enjoy " the antics of a kid with little self-discipline. Should you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," you and he will pay a expensive price - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a child is not an adult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but years as a child is the time to train the future adult. View all training as preparation for future service for the Lord. Train a young child to become a useful servant of the Lord- strong in faith and in character! This is the parents' responsibility, and is

not to be delegated to the church or a religious school. Homeschool parents possess a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or even perceived inability, are ignoring character building while concentrating on child-centered academics. It is going to be difficult to place a hurdle around your child's fleshly nature. Each child will be different; some will put up more of a "battle " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do are, perhaps, being prepared for any more difficult life of service for the Lord. Do not fail these children in their preparation by using excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be set by the "trainers." While you might desire to let down your guard and indulge in poor character, remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me, even as I also am associated with Christ. 1 Cor. Eleven :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition training and consistency in correction and discipline. Train up a child in the way he should go : and when he is old, he'll not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the actual rewards of careful work to character building are wonderful ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 it is possible to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build a good inner restraint against the wishes of the flesh - by providing consistent outer restraints and expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the Lord (which greatly stands for inner restraint); and to teach to obey as seeing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me : I will teach you the fear from the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD may be the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total believe in in the Lord for strength and direction (recognizing which help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 o LORD, I know that the clear way of man is not in himself : it is not in man which walketh to direct their steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To be accountable for the use of time. 1 Peter 4:2 2. To learn to wait to speak. James 1 :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. 1 Thes. 2:4 4. To learn to weigh thoughts carefully before speaking. Ps. Thirty four :13 Prov. 13:three ; 21:23 5. To be able to carry out unpleasant tasks without stress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind in order to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure difficult trials. James 1:2,3 8. To learn to perform unpleasant habits. 9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. NIne :27 10. To keep thyself real. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:8 11. To keep rule over his own nature (emotions). Prov. 25:28

12. To complete a project through inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To refuse the lust of the skin (unavailable/wrong material or physical desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to be content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to work with no expectation of immediate reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to an additional rather than to seek one's personal will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set prior to him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To trust in the LORD with all thine heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To refuse feelings and choose to do what's right. 1 Kings 18 :21 20. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. One Cor.8:13 21. To build up mental discipline (Disciplined thoughts Disciplined body). 2 Cor. 10:5 22. To keep in work despite personal physical rebellion. Lam. 3 :27 23. To be a servant rather than a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's individual name and family name (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and discipline with a good attitude. Prov. 3 :11; 15:10 27. To cooperate with the needs of others - to acknowledge his needs for the benefit of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly value system that directs daily decisions. Gen. 24:thirty-three Col. 3:2 29. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. One Peter 2:18 30. To build up a mental alertness. One Peter 5:8 31. In order to refuse negative peer pressure. Ex. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel; To know wisdom and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to receive the instruction of knowledge, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young man understanding and discretion. Prov. One :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Prov. 22 :6 Because sentence against an evil work is not really executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is actually fully set in them to do evil. Ec. 8:11 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to place you always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth. Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you within remembrance. 2 Peter one :12,13 Implementing Goals For every goal that you desire to be fulfilled in your child, make a specific, long-range plan to see your goal accomplished. Follow the pattern of: EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING. SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for the use of time. Example: Be conscious of time in your own life. Show a concern for your own use of period. Be on

time to church, appointments, class, etc. Do not waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to be done without stopping to experience or to talk to others. Anticipate schoolwork to be done with out wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, etc.) As your children get older (old enough to easily tell the time as well as own a watch), expect these phones be ready for church on time (without having to be told), get up on time (by using an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the actual table prior to an hired time, be in from outside play at a certain time, and so on. Teach your child the value of time - how to use it wisely, how to plan ahead, and how to work to meet deadlines and schedules (long and short-range). Get him to memorize verses having to do with period, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, disloyality, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:14 ) Training: Discipline in some manner when a responsibility to a particular time is avoided, ignored, or forgotten. Let your child know that excuses such as "we forgot" will not be accepted! self-discipline for wasted time whenever he is expected to be working (set time aside from free/recess time, and so on.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical discipline, when necessary. He which spareth his rod hateth his son: but he or she that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall generate it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn blessing due to a failure in the obligation to do that which was taught. Whenever self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouragedbecause the joys of sin were permitted without any unpleasant consequences. In the event that unpleasant consequences are not arranged by parents now, the actual unpleasant consequences will come when the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those unfortunate things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not instantly discovered by a parent). RElated to God, we would also refer to this as "learning the hard way-by experience." Being assured of this very thing, that he that hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is God which worketh in you both to may and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. 2 :13 Jeremiah 29