My Teen Seems On The Fringe A

By Josh Simpson, Jr. High/Student Ministries Pastor

By Jon Eshleman, College Pastor

Gradual Growth

m I significant? Do others care about me? Does anyone even know Im here? Teenagers desperately want to connect! They are seeking a sense of belonging, but the sad reality is that even at church it can be easy to get lost or overlooked. As much as I wish I was capable of personally caring for each student in the Student Ministriesit is just not possible to give them the attention they all deserve. LifeGroups provide the personal attention that students need and dont always receive in a large group setting. These groups allow students to be known and heard. We call them LifeGroups because they are all about doing life with others... If you feel like your student is still not connecting, Mark Oestreicher (a youth ministries guru) gives these telltale signs to watch out for: Distancing from childhood friends: This can be a healthy processso dont jump to conclusions. But be aware that this initiation of social shift can result in a move to the fringe. Quantity time spent alone: This is especially common in young teen boys: their social skills are often not developed, and its emotionally easier to be a loner than to bushwhack into new friendships. Depression: Im not necessarily referring to the clinical types of depression. And all young teen get moody and down at times. But take notice if this seems to be a regular mood. Popularity Longings:Its certainly not uncommon for teens to want to be popular (its not uncommon for adults either!). But watch for regular verbalizations and attempts at breaking into popular cliques. If you sense that your teen is on the fringe, somewhat friendless, and defeatist about building new friends, try some of these ideas: Verbally encourage budding friendships:When you see your teen taking healthy steps toward new friendships, affirm their efforts. Facilitate friendships: Go to great lengths to create opportunities for healthy friendships to develop. Suggest creative and fun things to do, and provide transportation. Keep lines of communication open:Talking about this stuff can be the most important step for lonely teens. Find safe and neutral places for your teen to share with you. Keep their LifeGroup leader in the loop too. Encourage youth group participation: Its important that your teen have the opportunity to take part in a healthy church youth group. Pray for your teen! Pray for healthy friendships that will meet the very real social needs of your teenager.

Im glad that you have this new magazine in your hand. Our hope is that it will connect you
more and more with what is happening in Student Ministries. I have the privilege of writing this article on Grow. As you know, the mission of Calvary Church is to Connect, Grow, and Reach. This aspect of grow is perhaps one of the more difficult parts to measure. Growth normally takes time and hard work. Ive been watching my daughter, Sophia, grow over the past year. I am amazed at how much sleep she requires, but then I remember that her body is so busy expanding and growing that it takes a great deal of energy out of her. Her growth has happened in a healthy and noticeable way over the last year. I remember vividly when she couldnt hold her own head up properly, and now she is crawling all over the place and getting into everything. I think of the ways in which we grow spiritually, and I believe they are not always that different from the ways we grow physically. Spiritual growth takes time. As much as I might want Sophia to be out surfing with me right now, I know that she is not at that stage in her growth yet. I sometimes get frustrated in my own ability to live out the commands of Jesus with perfect execution, but I must remember that my growth will be gradual at different points in my journey with Jesus. There will be a day in Sophias life when shell start walking and shell leave behind the crawling. There are days like that in our own spiritual journeys; days when we decide that one bad habit or an addiction no longer has hold over us and we will not turn back to it. As pastors it is often difficult to see the growth of our students over a year or even two years, more likely it is 5 or 6 years later that we see how much they have grown, not only physically, but spiritually as well. I urge you to continue setting a great example by the way you live your lives, modeled after that of Christ Jesus. Although you may not see the growth as quickly and as noticeably as you would like, I am certain that God is working if you are abiding in Him. When you stay attached to Jesus, it is His power that works through us to produce good fruit and healthy growth! Stay attached to the true vine and you will grow. Jon & Sophia Eshleman

Growth will be gradual at different points in my journey with Jesus.

2008 Youth Specialties, Mark Oestreicher

Reaching Through Relationships

One of my favorite memories of this past year was a Reach Wednesday

By Melissa Brosch, High School Director

By Melissa Brosch, High School Director

night that was dedicated solely to a game called Wii: Just Dance. If you have never heard of it, you are missing out on one of the finer things in life! Wii dance is a game that takes popular songs and adds choreographed dance moves to them. The goal is to dance the choreography better than the person next to you. However, on this particular night, there was no competition, there was justdance. As a room full of 100 high school students stared at the video choreography on the screen and tried their hardest to mimic the moves, I stood back and took it all in. I saw students I had never met before standing next to Calvary kids that I see every week dancing their hearts out. The students were making each other laugh, helping each other with the dance moves, and flailing around without a hint of self-consciousness. We had created a safe environment where kids could be themselves and connect with each other. They now had a common interaction, a funny story, an inside joke. They were bonding over the most ridiculous game ever invented. The night was clearly about so much more than dancing. We wholeheartedly believe that these connections are the first step in sharing the gospel.

This

One of my favorite quotes is, Students dont care how much you know unless they know how much you care. Relationships provide a foundation for spiritual discussion. We make it a priority to plan crazy, fun, ridiculous events that build community for the purpose of the gospel. After attending an event like this, non-Christian students are much more likely to come back and jump into the everyday life of our ministry. It is in the everyday life of LifeGroups, Sunday/Wednesday messages, and Bible studies that we take students deeper. The first Wednesday of every month is dedicated to REACH. We also plan a large scale outreach such as Day Zero each semester. We want to see students come on our church campus, make friends, make memories and feel safe to explore how God wants to love them and change their life. We are so thankful to serve a God who can use Wii: Just Dance, dodgeball, disco roller skating and jumping on inflatables to spread the truth of his love and salvation. 3

is a chance for me to introduce one of our amazing Student Ministries staff members... Sandy Hemphill. Sandy has been serving in high school ministry for the past 3 years and is absolutely fantastic. She is not only an amazing LifeGroup leader, but the mom of two other amazing LifeGroup leaders, Jennifer and Matt. Sandy works at Orange From left to right: Jenn, Blake, Sandy, Erin, Matt Lutheran High School in the Development Department. She has a passion to see high school girls grow in their knowledge of God and experience the fullness of a life lived daily for Jesus. Sandy is gifted at helping high school girls connect with each other and share openly and honestly. She is easy to talk to, a blast to hang out with and her wisdom is an asset to our high school ministry. Sandy will be spending the next year helping her son Matt get ready for his wedding! Matt will be marrying our very own Student Ministries Administrative Assistant, Erin OBrien. We love Sandy and feel proud to have her as a member of our High School Ministry Team.

STEPS TO BECOMING A CALVARY VOLUNTEER:

Application (hard copy or online) Background Check (for those working with minors, disabled or elderly) References (we call two people who know you well) Observation (you get to observe the ministry youre interested in) Orientation (we tell you some of the specifics/policies of where you are serving)

To sign up today, visit: calvarylife.org/students

By Tony Jones, Student in the College Group

Youre only just beginning Those are the words that have been constantly ringing in my ears over the last few years of my life. They remind me of all the highs and lows of life that Ive been though and to remember there is always more to come. My name is Tony Jones and I am a recent college graduate. In more recent months I have had a lot of free time to ponder what God has done in my life and what He is currently teaching me. The biggest changes came through the course of my college Tony Jones career, so that is where I will begin my story. I first entered California State Polytechnic University of Pomona (Cal Poly) as a freshmen destined to follow in my fathers footsteps as an Urban Planner. Choosing this path was sort of a desperation toss to God for what I should do with my life now that high school was done and I had no idea what I was passionate about or wanted to do. After hearing my dad speak about his career and looking into it, I decided that a Planner was what God wanted me to do since there was no other option, so there I went. Finding community and comfort at that place was difficult for me, but fortunately, I found community in my college group at Calvary Church of Santa Ana, Foundation. Having a community where I could connect with peers and learn to follow Jesus together was exactly what I needed, especially during the next period of my life. After going through a difficult broken relationship and identity crisis after my first year, I entered a depression for several months and didnt recover until transferring from

Cal Poly to Biola University. The one thing that remained constant through this rough transition was Foundation College Ministry. God showed me the stability and strength that I lack can be found only in Him and His presence within a community of His followers. As Jesus had his supporting cast, so must we in order to weather lifes obstacles. Every time I have thought that I can do it on my own, Gods voice calls me back to himself and urges me to invest in people. As my college pastor (Jon Eshleman) constantly reminds us: now that we have found God, our entire lives are dedicated first to loving God, but also learning to love others, and that is what it means to follow Jesus. And at times we may think it impossible to force ourselves to love others, but the only thing we can do to improve is simple, practice. Practicing patience helps develop patience, and practicing forgiveness helps us to forgive. With this mindset, the next few years at Biola were some of the best of my life. I graduated with the intent of pursuing fulltime ministry; however, God still had more to teach me as I entered into the life of a college grad. Ministry seemed like such a good fit for me, and having worked part-time in Calvarys Jr. High Ministry for the past few years I decided that was the path for me. Having gone through so many ups and downs in college, I figured I was ready for anything that came my way. But after waiting 9 months for a decision on a possible position at a church, not only did I not get the job, but news of my rejection came the day after another difficult break-up with a girlfriend. There I was, left with debt, no money, no job, no direction in my life, and a deep feeling of loneliness. Naturally, my instinct was to panic and lose hope, and life once again became difficult. However, the extra time I obtained by losing those things allowed me to ponder and come to the conclusion that I will never be done learning from God. If my mindset is on what Ive lost or how Ive failed, those feelings of hopelessness and doubt can consume me. However, if I enter life with the mindset that youre only just beginning, a whole new world opens up where God has a prosperous plan for us as he promises in Jeremiah 29. Through the support of a community, through practicing loving others, and through seeing Gods faithfulness, there is nothing I am unprepared for. Even though the future is completely uncertain to me, however hopeless and doubtful my life may appear to me, the words that ring through my head have a happy ending, Youre only just beginningand I will be with you the whole way. 6

By Kristin McNamara, mother of a Jr. High, High School, and College Student

remember the first time when I found out that my junior high youth group leaders were volunteers. The youth pastor asked the volunteers to stand up and be acknowledged. That cant be! I thought. Why would they want to hang out with me for free? I recall looking at these young adults a little bit differently that day, but I did not grasp the importance of these individuals in my life yet. Later, when I began working with teenagers as a young adult, I still had no appreciation for my presence in teenagers lives. Sure, I called them, baked cookies with them, went to their plays and sporting events, and even developed a bond with some of my girls, but my value in their lives still escaped me. It was not until my husband, John, and I were blessed to raise teenagers of our own, that I fully began to grasp the significance of the youth staff in our kids lives. No matter how sound the foundation we build at home, the faithful volunteers that have chosen to devote their precious time to our children are crucial to our kids spiritual development. John and I have been blessed with four children: Delaney is 20 years old and involved in the college group, Connor is a junior in high school, Sean is a seventh grader, and Brenna is in fourth grade. Being educated in the public schools, attendance at church and various functions are paramount to the raising of our own kids. Years of Bible memory programs supplemented our own Biblical teachings at home. However, a necessary piece to this puzzle is the John & Kristin McNamara connection that they feel with the staff every time they walk into their youth group, every time they get a note or a phone call from their leader, and greater still is their leaders presence at one of their games or performances! It is also comforting to know that, even after a hard week, my child can walk into Fellowship Hall or Elevation and get a hug and a Good to see you! It warms my heart every Sunday to this scene played out between Josh and others. Finally, our teenagers see a perfect model of what it looks like to be a selfless giver. Like Christ, our youth leaders have compassion for the lonely student sitting in the back. They also have their eye out for identifying our teenagers strengths, encouraging them to use those gifts for Gods glory. They have a heart for the lost. They are the impartial ear to our kids burdens, as well as the finger pointing them to the truth in Gods Word. Programs and short-term mission trips are important, but to see Christ modeled by volunteers who actually care about our kids is what ministry is all about. When I think of these faithful and devoted partners who come alongside us as parents, I cant help but echo Pauls thoughts in his letter to the Philippians:

I
v

Junior High Pastor / Student Ministries Pastor

JOSH SIMPSON

MELISSA BROSCH
High School Director

JON ESHLEMAN
College Pastor

NIKKI SMALLEY
Junior High Associate Director

High School Associate Director

DOUG BROWN

KRISTIN GACKLE
College Intern

ROBERT CARTER
Junior High Intern

KATIE MANSFIELD
High School Intern

College Worship Pastor

VICTOR ESTRADA

Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. -- Philippians 1:3-7a

TOBI PETERS
Junior High Worship Intern

High School Worship Intern

BEN HARRIS

Student Ministries Admin. Assitant

ERIN OBRIEN

JANUARY 4 JANUARY 27 FEBRUARY 12 FEBRUARY 17 FEBRUARY 23-26 MARCH 7 MARCH 16 APRIL 20-21 MAY 16
July 1-7 July 7-14

High School Holiday Skate Party Jr. High OvernightScapades Hume Lake Registration Jr. High Sky High Event College RIDE Ski Trip Jr. High Missions Feast High School Day Zero Planet Wisdom Student Conference Summer Preview Night

We are so thankful for those of you have made pledges and have given towards Calvarys Restoration Project. The first phase of critical repairs was completed this past summer and we have submitted the plans to the city to work on the phase to remodel the Worship Center to include the nursery. We are hoping to hear back from the city and work toward obtaining a building permit this winter and Lord willing start construction in 2012. After the nursery is complete we plan to start the process of turning our current nursery into the Student Underground. We will keep you posted as the time line and next steps are solidified. Keep this project in your prayers and thanks for your continued support of it.

By Michael Welles, Executive Pastor of Administration

new staff member

SUMMER CAMP DATES

Jr. High Hume College Houseboat
Nikki Smalley

July 15-21 High School Hume

Hi ya! My name is Nikki Smalley and I am so excited to be the NEW Jr. High Associate Director. For the past two years I have been living in the western part of Ireland as a Calvary Missionary. Ireland is such a beautiful country, but traditional Catholicism has created darkness over the country and there is so much hopelessness there. I worked with the youth in the town of Westport, getting to know the Irish students and found that teens all over the world are going through very similar things.

I am truly excited to work with the Jr. High students at Calvary Church again because...lets be honest...Jr. High is the best! I say again because before I went to Ireland I worked in Calvarys Jr. High ministry for four years. When I was in Jr. High I rededicated my life to Christ because thats when I understood that being a follower of Christ was to surrender your whole life to Him. Not just being a Sunday and Wednesday Christian, but to shine for Him every day of my life. I love this age group because it is a time of growth and learning more about who you are, and I want to be that person in your students life who points them to Christ in finding their identity. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. --John 15:5 10

For more information about any of our events, please contact Erin at:

714.550.2331 or eobrien@calvarylife.org
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