Sherlock The Revenge of the Deadly Vengeance By Ashfaq Emritte

INT. 221B BAKER STREET// LIVING ROOM - NIGHT All is quiet. Sherlock is on the sofa, in a simple plain brown dressing gown with his feet up, engaged with Johns laptop. The phone rings. Sherlock sighs, annoyed. He waits. Looks around. The phone is all the way across the room. It keeps ringing. Sherlock keeps waiting. SHERLOCK (muttering to himself) Oh, for Gods sake John! He looks at the phone, still ringing, angry. SHERLOCK Oh, give it a rest! Sherlock opens up Skype on the laptop and enters the username "rugged.handsome.lestrade". He pauses for a moment of thought. The phone stops ringing. SHERLOCK Ah. Youve heeded to my advice. How wise. Beat. It begins to ring again. Sherlock shakes his head in disapproval then returns his attention to the laptop. He types in a password "*****". He is logged in to Lestrades skype account. He clicks on one of the names to the side "john.watson". He clicks call. The ringing of the laptop joins with that of the phone. Eventually the call is answered. JOHN (V.O) (on the other end of the line, sleepy, tired) Lestrade? Hello? SHERLOCK No. Sherlock. Wake up. The phones ringing. Dear God, John, pick it up. JOHN (V.O) Pick it up yourself. And grow up. SHERLOCK I refuse. Why would I grow up? Thats like inviting boring into my life. John walks out of his bedroom, really peeved off, still half asleep. He picks up the phone. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: JOHN Hello? (beat) Murder? Weird one?

2.

Sherlock drops the laptop on the sofa and walks to John, snatching the phone off of him. SHERLOCK (into phone) Text me the address. Ill be there as soon as possible. Sherlock hangs up and looks at John. SHERLOCK John, get dressed. Were going out. JOHN You first. SHERLOCK Im already dressed. JOHN Youre not going out there in your night gown. SHERLOCK I am. I have no interest in fashion. This night gown is perfectly acceptable. JOHN But its freezing outside. SHERLOCK No. 2 degrees above freezing, to be precise. Either way, how cold it is is irrelevant so long as it doesnt exceed the temperature at which it interferes with my brain. EXT. PLAZA - NIGHT Blue lights flash from police cars surrounding a fountain boxed off by yellow tape. The water in the fountain is murky brown. Sherlock, still in his night gown and wearing slippers, arrives on the scene with John. They are greeted by Lestrade.

(CONTINUED)

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3.

LESTRADE Happy hour of the night. Put a smile on. JOHN Its 2 in the morning. I can barely walk. Smiling is too much effort. SHERLOCK Dont mind John. Hes being grumpy. I cant imagine why. John snarls at Sherlock. SHERLOCK So, wheres the body? LESTRADE Oh, youll like this. There isnt one. SHERLOCK So how do you know theres been a murder? LESTRADE A young couple were passing by this here fountain slash wishing pool. Nobody else was here, they thought they might as well nick a few pennies. SHERLOCK I dont waste my time with petty thieves. Especially not at a penny-stealing level. I take pennies from Johns wallet all the time. It isnt a crime as far as Im concerned. LESTRADE The young couple are in hospital. Their arms partially corroded. JOHN Jesus. LESTRADE Dont worry. They got the proper medical attention in just the right amount of time. Damage is mostly to the skin. Not too serious.

(CONTINUED)

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4.

JOHN So... the water in the fountain burned their hands? LESTRADE Health and safetyll make a huge fuss in the morning. Anyway, theres a reason I called you, Sherlock. The fountain. Deduce away. Sherlock bends over the fountain. He looks carefully at the liquid inside, noting the colouration. SHERLOCK What appears to be some Iron chloride deposits. Sherlock feels the very edge of the fountain. SHERLOCK Water droplets all around here. Cant be from the fountain, it wouldnt reach over here. Also some on the marble paving. Hydrogen gas. LESTRADE What about it? SHERLOCK Given off from the reaction the fountain. Combined with oxygen in the air and condensed into droplets over here. JOHN Hold on, what reaction in the fountain? SHERLOCK Iron Chloride deposits. Lestrade, you said the couple burned their hands, it must have been a strong acid. Taking a guess- the acid in the fountain is highly concentrated hydrochloric acid which has reacted with Iron to produce Iron Chloride and hydrogen gas. LESTRADE Iron?

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5.

SHERLOCK From hemoglobin. LESTRADE Nemo goblin? What? JOHN Hemoglobin. An iron compound that makes up blood. SHERLOCK Thank you, John. LESTRADE Nice. Well done. Forensics took quite a bit longer than you to work it out. SHERLOCK Let me guess, Anderson? No, improbable. Hed still be working at it. After all, that is the effect of a lack of brain cells. LESTRADE So, were looking for some remains. Anything thatll get us some more information. JOHN Well, Im stumped. SHERLOCK As always, Im not. We dont need remains. LESTRADE We dont? SHERLOCK Because there wasnt a body to begin with. LESTRADE Then this wasnt really a murder? SHERLOCK Exactly. Thank you for accidentally wasting my time. Sherlock is about to leave.

(CONTINUED)

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6.

LESTRADE Wait! For the benefit of everyone else, explain. Im not about to close a potential murder investigation because of an amateur. SHERLOCK Im not an amateur. LESTRADE I know. But Donovan and Anderson and pretty much everyone at Scotland Yard think so. Prove them wrong. SHERLOCK Theres not as much Iron in blood as everybody seems to think. Only 2.5 grams. The Iron Chloride deposits suggest the Iron present in the fountain relates to around about a pint of blood. Best guess is it was donated blood. Get your people to tell you whose it was and phone them. If they pick up, theyre alive, no murder investigation. If they dont, call me. JOHN Right. So we can go back home now? I can get back to sleep? Sherlock and John walk away. JOHN And if youre wrongSHERLOCK (interrupting) Dont be expecting a call, John. Im hardly ever wrong. INT. 221B BAKER STREET// LIVING ROOM - MORNING The phone rings. Sherlock is on hand this time and picks it up. SHERLOCK (immediately as he answers the phone) (MORE) (CONTINUED)

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7.

SHERLOCK (contd) I cant be wrong. Youve made a mistake. Beat. SHERLOCK (into phone) Ah, so Im right. Then why have you phoned me? Another beat. SHERLOCK I see. He hangs up as John walks in with a hot cup of tea in his hand. JOHN So you were wrong then? SHERLOCK No. Sherlock takes the tea off of John and takes a sip. JOHN Oi! JOHN That was mine. SHERLOCK Terribly sorry but I had to. Youd have spat it all out otherwise. JOHN I would have? SHERLOCK Yes. Now sit down, John. John lets himself fall onto the sofa. SHERLOCK Theyve found out whose blood it was. JOHN And? Whose was it? Thank you. SHERLOCK

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8.

SHERLOCK Yours. JOHN Mine? SHERLOCK You gave blood a few weeks ago. Thats where they must have gotten it from. JOHN How do you know I gave blood? SHERLOCK You were boring me with the details of your life one day and said "Hey, I gave some blood today." JOHN Oh. I never thought you cared to listen. SHERLOCK Listen, I did. Cared? Not a single bit. JOHN So why would my blood be in a fountain full of acid in the middle of London? SHERLOCK Well, youve had your bad days, John. Maybe you were drunk. Or maybe it was Sarah inflicting some form of revenge heavy with symbolism. JOHN She broke up with me. SHERLOCK She broke up with you because of you. Thats enough to warrant revenge. And I agree with her. JOHN Sherlock, youve got to take this case.

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9.

SHERLOCK Why would I purposefully bore myself? JOHN Because this is really personal stuff. SHERLOCK I disagree. It was most likely random. Youre not being targeted John. Only valuable people get targeted. JOHN Im not valuable? SHERLOCK Oh, wake up, John! Just because some people care about you and just because mummy said you were her "special little boy" doesnt make you a big enough fish to be to be any kind of a target. JOHN (passively) Couldve been Moriarty. Im valuable to him cause he can use me to get to you, right? Sherlock pauses for thought, hints of a smile emerging on his face. SHERLOCK Phone Lestrade. Tell him Ill take the case. The doorbell rings. Sherlock finishes drinking his tea. The doorbell rings again. John looks at Sherlock. JOHN Youre expecting me to get that, arent you? SHERLOCK No need. If we wait a few more minutes, Mrs Hudson will let them in. They can hear the opening of a door.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: SHERLOCK And thats Mrs Hudson. Letting her in. JOHN Her? SHERLOCK Yes. Footsteps coming up the stairs. SHERLOCK High heels. Middle aged. Bad hip.

10.

Mrs Hudson leads a middle aged woman in. She is wearing high heels. SHERLOCK No, that last one was Mrs Hudson. MRS HUDSON What was what now, dear? JOHN Your bad hip was distracting Sherlock. MRS HUDSON Oh, dont you worry dear. I can manage. SHERLOCK Didnt say worried. Distracted. MRS HUDSON Anyway, this nice lady is here to see you, Sherlock. Ill just leave you to... yes. Mrs Hudson leaves. The woman, Lynda Parson, extends her hand to Sherlock. Sherlock does not shake it. LYNDA Lynda Parson. You must be Sherlock Holmes. SHERLOCK Sorry, busy with another case at the moment. Do come back later. Any Sherlock walks off into his bedroom. John reaches out and shakes Lyndas hand instead.

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11.

JOHN John Watson. Sherlock isnt really in the mood right now. LYNDA Oh. But he looked somewhat happy. JOHN Well, he is in the mood but hes not... hes not... he doesnt feel like directing his excitement towards you at this moment in time. LYNDA You ought to take advantage of him like this. JOHN Im sorry? LYNDA Im a hardcore Watsonite. JOHN Sorry? LYNDA Its what we call ourselves. Fans of your blog. Who are slightly on the obsessed side. 80% female. You dont always portray him as happy on your blog. You should use the moments when he is to your advantage. JOHN 80%, you say? LYNDA 18% male. If youre interested. Theyre all very lovely. Single. JOHN Im not gay. LYNDA Well then, if youre interested, Im very lonely. Single. And Id quite enjoy a drink. Sherlock walks out of his room, dressed.

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12.

SHERLOCK You still here? I already mentioned, Im busy with another case. Goodbye. Sherlock walks out then backsteps back in. SHERLOCK Which means... youre more interested in John? I see. Be careful of Watsonites, John. Theyre a bit difficult. Sherlock leaves. LYNDA Anyway, drinks? JOHN Or breakfast. LYNDA In bed? JOHN I was thinking Speedys Cafe. We could try that other one later. LYNDA Sounds good to me. JOHN Let me get dressed. John walks into his room. He immediately pops his head back out. JOHN Do I really have a fanbase? Because I always assumed people were more interested in Sherlock. LYNDA Well, were only a small group. But were very dedicated. INT. LESTRADES OFFICE// SCOTLAND YARD - MORNING Lestrade is laid back in his chair, asleep. There is a womans shoe on his desk. Sherlock is led in by Sergeant Sally Donovan.

(CONTINUED)

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13.

DONOVAN Did you order a freak, sir? Lestrade jumps up, awake now. Donovan leaves the two. SHERLOCK Shouldnt you be policing? LESTRADE Didnt get much sleep last night. The missus kicked me out. She told me to go back to work last night. Told me she was preparing something special for me. I go back home earlier this morning and the doors locked. Shed taken my keys. And then she throws her shoe at me. Lestrade lies back down in his chair. LESTRADE This is my home now. SHERLOCK Marital problems. How cliche. LESTRADE Well, its what happens in real life, Sherlock. SHERLOCK Real life doesnt make sense. LESTRADE Anyway, why are you here? SHERLOCK Why am I ever here? To help you solve a case, obviously. LESTRADE Which one? And by help, I assume you mean youre going to solve the case and make me look bad? SHERLOCK The fountain one. And yes, pretty much. LESTRADE Hey, wheres John? He usually tags around.

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14.

SHERLOCK Copulating. Or more likely, hes having breakfast. LESTRADE Or hes doing both. SHERLOCK John Watson is not the man to multitask. If he was, hed be a woman. LESTRADE So, youre going solo? SHERLOCK Not quite. I still need someone to stand around and be in awe of everything I say. Before John, that used to be you. Sometimes. LESTRADE Ive developed a resistance over the years. But Ill accept anyway. So, weve been examining theSHERLOCK (interrupting) We need to speak to the couple with the corroded hands. LESTRADE Okay. But first, why? SHERLOCK Why would someone stick their hands in what looks like dirty murky water just for the sake of a few pennies? No, its obvious the blood wasnt poured into the fountain until afterward. That leaves a small window of time before you lot arrived. The couple must have seen the culprit but theyve chosen to keep quiet. Why? LESTRADE Lets find out. Though do keep in mind theyre still recovering in hospital. Dont do anything too outrageous, insulting or self-exaggerating.