Section 2 IMAGES OF PRAYER AND PRESENCE

This section presents the stories of two congregations aspiring to practise contemplative youth ministry. In 2001, we invited ve scholars to help us investigate and observe the work of the project. Each scholar, as well as the project directors, was asked to explore one element of the projects charter and describe how this particular element of contemplative youth ministry took shape within a particular congregation. Two of those observations are presented here. Chapter 5 is the story, as I observed it, of The Woodlands Christian Church outside Houston, Texas, as it struggled to integrate a sense of Sabbath within its youth ministry. In Chapter 6 Doug Frank explores the idea of covenant community within a Presbyterian church in Eugene, Oregon.

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5
The Upper Room: Sabbath in youth ministry

A contemplative approach to youth ministry is grounded in a Christian community committed to the sacred balance between work and rest. Just as Jesus led a life of simplicity with times for rest, solitude and silence (Matthew 14.2223), we also are committed to helping Christian communities nd rest and balance in a hyperactive culture. A life that honours Sabbath rest helps us to be more in touch with our heart and soul, more aware of the Spirit of God and more available for relationships of love. Youth blossom in the midst of adults who know how to savour life through a Sabbath rhythm of rest, work and play. Companions of the project seek to maintain this simplicity and sacred balance in their own lives and ministry. (YMSP charter, Point 1)

Mabel warned me this would happen. Now, in the quiet of the darkened room, all I hear is her breathing. I open my eyes and follow the sound of her breath. She sits tucked between a brown vinyl couch and a shabby mustard-yellow love seat. Her head is tilted back against the youth room wall, arms slung loose, hands crumpled on her lap. Mabels face is relaxed, her mouth slightly agape. But its the breathing thats the real sign. Mabel is sleeping.

A siesta in The Woodlands

Just outside the George Bush International Airport in Houston, Texas, youth pastor Brent Parker pulls up in his cherry-red pickup, steps out and greets me, Welcome to our ADD community! 66

The Upper Room I throw my bags into the truck and we head west towards The Woodlands, the well-to-do Houston suburb where Brent lives and ministers. The plan is to meet his wife and ten-month-old son for dinner at a BBQ joint. As we drive Im a bit surprised by Brents relaxed and quiet demeanour. He asks about my family and work life, gently nodding and making eye contact to let me know hes listening. He laughs easily and allows space within our conversation. I cant help but recall the rst time I met Brent, three years earlier. He had invited himself to accompany a regional staff member of the Disciples of Christ who was picking me up from the airport and driving me to a speaking event. I sat in the back seat; Brent sat next to the driver, with his head permanently craned backwards, drilling me with question after question. He spoke like a caffeine addict as he grilled me about one youth ministry topic after another, never really hearing (nor appearing interested) in my responses. Yet now, riding in his truck, he seemed a different person. Present. Calm. Listening. What had happened to Brent over these three years? A few miles from the exit to The Woodlands we get a call from Brents wife, Kori. She cant nd the restaurant. Brent does his best to guide her, but his instructions are vague (You know when you pass that one overpass . . . well, its not right there but a little further . . . its like the second turn . . .). Within ve minutes of leaving the motorway we too are lost. Brent chuckles, Ive lived here ve years and I still continue to get lost. Every street and shopping centre looks the same. With trees bordering most properties and street signs outlawed, its easy to see how people get disoriented. The terrain is level, with pine, oak and sweet gum trees four feet deep along the main roads and properties. Homes, businesses and other landmarks are concealed, so the town feels like a hedged maze of meandering tarmac. County ordinance requires that all roads and streets bend so trees are always visible, creating a sense of a backwoods living rather than a carefully engineered Houston suburb. This would be the rst of three times in which local residents would get lost driving me around their community. Built in 1974 by the Mitchell Energy and Development Corporation as a response to urban growth, The Woodlands is a town of 67

Images of prayer and presence professionals hosting over 161 companies, six award-winning golf courses and a full-scale resort. Manicured parks and community walkways are well kept. Shopping and eating areas, all from major chains, are conveniently located. Homes are grouped in villages with names like Grogans Mill, Panther Creek and Woodsedge. Just as the chamber of commerce describes, its a master-planned community and in many ways it is master-controlled. There is a set palette of colours that owners are permitted to use on their homes. Youth ministry volunteer John Frey once received an ofcial reprimand for putting a yellow, green, red and blue cover on his daughters garden playhouse the cover was not within the range of approved colours for the community. Brents wife, Kori, told me of a ticking-off they received because they kept their dustbin at the side of the house homeowners are required to keep bins out of sight. The trees, walkways and twisting roads are comforting, tranquil and appealing. Yet there is something disconcerting about the careful orchestration of homes, parks, businesses and trees. Brent, who grew up in the racially mixed (I was the only white kid on my high school basketball team) working-class town of Beaumont, tells me, The story of this town is the story of the haves. Maybe thats whats troubling me my sense that the have-nots are missing. The Woodlands Christian Church (TWCC) is one of the few upbeat stories in the struggling denomination of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). The congregation is made up of mostly white, educated members of the professional class managers, developers, engineers and nancial administrators. Its been one of the fastest developing churches within the denomination, growing from just 85 members in the early 1990s to more than 400 currently. The expansion was primarily due to the efforts of the churchs charismatic senior pastor, David Emery. When I met David three years earlier, he was even more hyperactive than Brent Parker. Working somewhere between 70 and 80 hours a week, David began utilizing revivals, meticulously managed worship services and hundreds of hours of personal contact to create an energy and excitement that drew the current membership. 68

The Upper Room According to associate pastor and current interim pastor Ron Sumter, the church under Davids leadership became a highly productive centre of activity, The church was a mirror of Houston culture. Everything was Go! Go! Go! David put great pressure on Brent, the church leadership and especially himself to produce results. The outcome was that people came in droves. One year before my visit to the church, David Emery had left TWCC to serve at a large mega-church in Louisville, Kentucky. Approximately 150 church members disappeared once he left the congregation. You could almost feel the energy coming off of David, Pastor Ron explains. People were drawn to the church because of David, and when he left there was very little allegiance by a signicant number of church members to the church or even the faith. Considering the churchgoing habits of this Bible-belt city, TWCC is considered a small church. One church elder told me it is the smallest church within The Woodlands. After a little investigating I discovered that, within just ten minutes of the church, there were at least four other congregations that all boasted memberships greater than 3,000. When Pastor Emery, Brent and the church leadership expressed an interest in participating in the Youth Ministry and Spirituality Project, it seemed to be a unique challenge. The church was growing and full of activity. The question was whether YMSPs emphasis on Sabbath-living could take root in such a busy place.

Reclaiming the Sabbath

Author and former pastor Wayne Muller once said that illness has become our Sabbath.1 When my friend was diagnosed with brain cancer at 46, time suddenly became a precious gift to her. She stopped wearing a watch. She spent mornings lying out in the sun and afternoons napping. She stood in the garden, remarking on the changing sky and the colours of the trees. She invited friends over for champagne and chocolate. She took slow walks to church, stopping to talk with people and admire owers. She took pleasure in life. Muller was right. It seems we give ourselves permission to rest, to receive life, to enjoy creation, to share good food with friends, to 69

Images of prayer and presence be grateful and savour our lives only when were stricken with a terminal illness. Sabbath, however, is not just for the sick. It is a commandment that all people of God take time to stop our activity, step away from our roles and enjoy our lives. I have memories of Sunday afternoons in my small town when stores closed and life slowed, but most young people I encounter are growing up without any sense of Sabbath time. Theyre growing up without Sundays. Instead, theres a seamless transition in the pace and quality of life from the marketplace to the worship space. Within most Christian communities, Sabbath has become a wellkept secret or, worse, a blatantly ignored commandment. Sabbath is a retreat from the striving, toiling and scheming of our active lives. Rabbi Abraham Heschel once called it a sanctuary in time.2 Sabbath is a letting go of our need to produce and perform an opportunity for our spirits, as well as our bodies, to be refreshed and renewed. In Sabbath were given permission to simply be. Were invited to trust that we (and those we serve) are loved for who we are, not for what we do. To keep the Sabbath is to be reminded that life, even our spiritual life, is a gift. In a time when people are stressed out, overworked, overstimulated and pressured to do more, the practice of Sabbath may best communicate the good news of Jesus. The Youth Ministry and Spirituality Project sought to form youth ministers, pastors and youth ministry volunteers in a deeper awareness of Sabbath-living. Brent Parker along with a number of other project participants attended week-long formation events that focused on Sabbath-living. Long periods of rest were scheduled throughout each week. Lectures were given on the history and practice of Sabbathkeeping. Participants discussed the busyness of adults in our modern culture and the toll this has taken on children and young people. But after three years of formation, the question still remained: is it possible to reclaim a sense of Sabbath in our congregations and communities of faith? Is it possible to reclaim a sense of time as an abundant gift from God rather than a scarce commodity? Can Christians who live within such a hyperactive culture make Sabbath a central experience in the spiritual formation of young people? When we nally enter the restaurant, Im hit with the smell of mesquite and hickory smoke. Brents wife and son are already 70

The Upper Room seated. Both Brent and Kori encourage me to order a platter of grilled beef, turkey and pork ribs. The dish includes a choice of two vegetables: beans or coleslaw. I thought it probably best to refuse politely. A former bar-tender and basketball coach, Brent is the rst fulltime youth minister for The Woodlands Christian Church. In the past, church members have often compared him to the churchs previous senior pastor, David Emery. Lately, however, people say theyve noticed a difference in Brent. I ask him to explain. I used to minister out of a fear and anxiety model. Everything was winlose. I was focused on performance: How many kids turned out? Did the lesson get across? There really was no difference between the mode in which I did ministry and the mode in which I did bar-tending and coaching. Everything was about efciency and performance. The result was that in my rst two years as a youth minister I was never home by seven p.m. I remember one night having this great youth meeting. We had a good turnout of kids. My lesson went over well. Singing was good. I came home after that meeting upbeat and excited to share the good news with my wife. It was after eight when I got home, and as soon as I walked in the door I started telling her about everything that had happened. Her immediate response was, I hate church. Thats when I began to realize I was working too many hours around eighty a week and it was hurting my marriage. Kori nods her head and smiles at me. Brent looks over at his son Caedmon and smiles. Caedmon shoves an impossible handful of mashed potatoes into his mouth. I shift the conversation to Brents sense of God during this time of overwork. He tells me that before he entered the project he felt God was a very demanding presence with high expectations a taskmaster who was never satised, always wanting more. Consequently, Brent says his focus wasnt to be close to God, it was to please God. I ask him how his sense of God has changed. Well, for the rst time Im thinking about grace. My transformation can be embodied by that one word, grace. Through the principles and practices of the project Ive found this new ability and awareness to give and receive Gods grace. Ive discovered that 71

Images of prayer and presence spirituality isnt something you work to obtain, but a part of our being that must be found and then appreciated. He pauses to reect. It still feels like God has high expectations, and yet at the same time it feels like at any one moment God is satised with me, like hes constantly saying, If you stopped right now, youve done enough. When I ask him how this change came about, he tells me, This approach to ministry begins and ends with the realization that each of us is a beloved child of God. When I start from this knowledge or understanding, the anxieties and fears of my call are somewhat eased. Through the projects encouragement Brent began a daily practice of contemplative prayer, found a spiritual director to meet with regularly, and started listening more to people and the Spirit of God. But he tells me of the difculty in making this shift in priorities. He often feels as though hes moving against the stream the busyness that seems ingrained in the community and church culture. This church is lled with high-powered people who approach church the same way they approach their businesses they focus on efciency, productivity. Its easy for me to get caught up in the same thing. Im ADD, and so Im tempted to get busy. I need time to slow down and rest. These times of prayer and just stopping my mind and activity have become a great gift to me. Out of these Sabbath moments Brents sense of time has shifted. Ive really slowed down. I do less. I delegate more. And really, its not just that Ive slowed down, time itself has begun to slow. As time slows, he tells me, hes begun to develop more gratitude for the little things within his ministry: I no longer get stressed out about a low turnout at a youth event. Instead, I feel grateful for each kid that does show up even if its just a handful. Brent tries to share this new sense of time with others in his ministry. Now when people come in to talk with me, I move out from behind my desk and sit on the couch so people know Im not in a hurry . . . that I have time for them. Im slower to answer questions and more ready to listen. I feel like I have this space in me for other people. Theres this naked emptiness that I bring when Im with someone, and Ive found people really appreciate this kind of space and presence. 72