The Effect of The Parents in The Personality Development of Their Children

The Role of the Parents in Personality Development in Positive and Negative Perspectives1
I.
INTRODUCTION The easiest way to describe and recognize a person is through his
physical attributes. Often times, a person could not remember the name of another person but could perfectly remember his appearance, his size, his weight, color of the hair or skin and even his mannerism. We would notice people through their characteristics. In other words, a person could better recognize or remember through his personality. According to Lewis (1989), most people think of personality as a persons description of his observable characteristics, like height, weight, hair or skin. Personality refers to more than the physical attributes of person. It leads us to an understanding of who we are and how we similar or different from other individuals. Most psychologists believe that personality is more than inherent in a person. It is largely created by the environment or mostly shaped by an individual experiences. If this is so, then the family is the most influential in the development of personality. It is in the family where a child would gain his first knowledge and experiences which will likely manifest up to adulthood or even old age. According to Jung (1917-1966), we are born with two innate attitudes, one of which leads us to look inward, the other of which leads us to look outward. Jung describes them in this manner: The attitude of introversion which is normally characterized by a resistant, reflective, retiring nature that keeps itself to itself, shrinks from objects, is slightly on the defensive and prefers to hide behind mistrustful scrutiny. On the other hand, the attitude of extraversion is normally characterized by an outgoing candid and accommodating nature that adapts easily to a given situation, quickly forms attachments and will often venture forth with careless confidence into unknown situations (Philipchalk and McConell, 1994).
The parents in particular, who provided all the needs and experiences of the child, are believed to be responsible for what the child will become. If the child has difficulty with himself, whatever it is, its because the parents who are more likely to be blamed (http.//pre-schoolerstoday). An old Filipino adage says that A mango tree will not bear a santol fruit. This just tells us that children are mere reflections of their parents. Parents therefore, play a crucial role in shaping a childs personality (Santrock,2000). Almost all parents want their children to be happy successful and with good moral character and healthy personalities. However, in some cases, this is not always achieved because of different factors surrounding the children. One of these factors is the kind of family where a child belongs. Families suffer from changes in the family form. Some are caused by circumstances beyond our control, like the loss of a parent. Nowadays, it seems that there is an increase in the number of marriage break-ups resulting from divorce or separation. This is evidenced by the increasing number of cases filed in courts. When this happens, its an accepted fact that children are the ones who are most likely to suffer and this would have an impact on their personalities. Sometimes, the effects could be observed directly. But there are times when the effects would become out later in life or during the time that the child enters the school and when he starts to mingle with other children. The schools, whether they like it or not are expected to accept and deal with children no matter what background they come from.
II. PROBLEMS
1. What are the problems that the parents may encounter in developing
their children personality?

2. Why is it important for the parents to give proper care for their
children? 3. How can the family be the social laboratory of a growing child?
III. THE BODY PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT Why some people alcoholics while others are abstain totally from drinking intoxicating drinks; some are criminals and others, law-abiding citizens; some are schizophrenics and others are happy and productive individuals? Why are some children autistic and others adjusted to their home situations? The task of explaining such variations in behavior necessarily begins with the consideration of the broad principles underlying human development. THE DETERMINANTS OF DEVELOPMENT The basic sources of personality development are heredity and environment and self structure. However, as persons genetic inheritance interacts with and is shaped by environmental factors, a self-structure emerges that becomes an important influence in shaping further development and behavior.
HEREDITY - Biologically, at the very conception when the egg cell of the female is fertilized by the sperm cell of the male, each new human being receives a genetic inheritance that provides potentialities for development and behavior throughout life. This biological influences that development of some personality traits and characteristics of the individual. Its influence is most noticeable in physical features, such as eyes, nose, shape of the face and other parts of the physique. It may also influence, to a certain extent, the primary reaction tendencies; e.g., activity level, sensitivity to stimuli and adaptability to a given environment. It is observed that even babies differ in their reactions to particular kinds of stimuli. Some cry if sunlight strikes their faces; others are started at even slight sounds. Long-term studies have revealed that these reactions tendencies are relatively enduring from infancy to young adulthood. These primary reaction tendencies are what we call constitutional which is used to describe any characteristics that is either innate or acquired so easily and such strength that is functionally similar to genetically determined characteristics. It is assumed that while genetic and constitutional differences help explain why individuals exposed to similar environments will likely to react and develop in highly diverse ways. A more directly pertinent to abnormal behavior, either genetic or constitutional influences may create specific vulnerabilities to certain types of stress and tension which may influence the childs particular form of behavior disorder later in life. While some characteristics determined by heredity may influenced individuals response to their environment, they may also help create the environmental conditions to which they are exposed.
Probably, the most unique aspects of our human inheritance is a superior brain. It is described as the most highly organized apparatus in the universe, consisting of some ten billion nerve cell, with countless interconnecting pathways, as well as myriad connections with other parts of the entire body. The human brain provides an incredible system of communication and computing network with tremendous capabilities for learning and storing experiences; for reasoning, for imagining and problem-solving; and for integrating the overall functioning of organism. It is the bra. It is the brain that makes possible the enormous adaptability of the human species to varied and changing conditions of existence. The essential characteristics of human inheritance are basically the same for all persons of all racial and ethnic groups. Heredity not only provides the potentialities for development and behavior typical of the human species but also is an important source of individual differences. ENVIRONMENT - While we received a genetic inheritance that is the end product of biological evolution and development, we also acquire a sociocultural influence of many years of social revolution from the environment. Because of the different characteristics and orientation of each group, the cultural patterns are systematically transmitted to the offspring. Individuals reared in societies that dos reared in societies that do not sanction violence learn to settle their differences in non violent ways. It is assumed that the more uniform and thorough the education of the younger members of a group is, the more alike they would become. In a society characterized by a limited and consisted point of view, there are not wide an individual differences typical of a society like ours, where children have contact with various conflicting beliefs. Even in our contemporary society, there are certain core values that we try to perpetuate as essential to our way of life.
The subgroups within a general sociocultural environment, e.g., the family, sex, age, social status, occupation, language and religious groups, also foster beliefs and norms of their particular group, largely by means of social roles and expectations that their members learn to adopt. Expected role behaviors basically exist for all subgroups-the students, the teachers, the military men and officers, the priest and nuns and nurses in the hospitals and other persons occupying diverse positions. The extent to which role exceptions directly influence the social development of the individual well illustrated by the assignment of sex roles among Tchambuli, a tribe in New Guinea, where women earn a living, handling business management, take the initiative in courtship and generally, is the head of the family, while men are expected to be coquettish, prone to gossip, interested in dancing and good in housekeeping. It is very obvious that the sex roles among the Tchambuli, while it appears very unusual on a worldwide scale, tend to channel personality development along lines quite different and amusing from those encouraged in our society. The individual, being a member of various subgroups, is subject to different role demands and expectations. The life of an individual can be viewed as consisting of a chain of a succession of roles-child, student, teacher, soldier, worker, executive, husband or wife, parent and senior citizen. These various groups may also give the individual some leeway in role behavior, but there are certain limits. Conformity to role demands is induced by the use of positive and negative reinforces, such as money, power, prestige, status, reward, punishment or loss of membership in the group. When social roles are conflicting, unclear or ambiguous, or when an individual is unable to achieve a satisfactory role in the group, personality development and adjustment may be impaired. Every individual interacts with various members of society, basically beginning with the family members and other prominent persons in the
community. Much of an individuals personality development reflects experiences with who is interact. Typically, a child who is trained to imbibe the philosophy of boy scouting will likely have effects on development quite different from patterns of characteristics and behavior of delinquent children. The behavior pattern children learn depends largely on what they observed whose expectations they are trying to meet, and what rewards are due them for their behavior. Since every individual belongs to different subgroups and experiences different interpersonal relationships, each participant in such differential participation, no two individuals group up in the same environment. Thus, the sociocultural environment, too, becomes an important factor of human variations in its development. The physical setting, certainly influences the personality characteristics of the organism. Undoubtedly, our genetic endowment provides our potentialities for both biological and psychological development; however, the shaping of these potentialities, e.g., how we perceive, think, feel, act depends immensely on our physical and cultural environment. SELF-STRUCTURE - As the baby grows and starts to learn to discern between self and non-self, apart of the total perceptual area is gradually delineated as the me, I, or self. When this self-structure develops, it also automatically becomes the integrating core of the personality, the framework or reference around which the individuals experiences and coping patterns the self as knower, desirer, and doer. These essences are the three key functions of the self-structure as a centralized decision subsystem. Fundamental to this functioning of the self-structure are the assumptions that we make ourselves and the world in which we live in. These assumptions are based on our experiences and learning as follows:
Reality assumptions These are assumptions about how things really are and what kind of individuals we are. Possibility assumptions These are assumptions about how things could be, about possibilities for change, opportunities for personal growth and social progress. Value assumptions These are assumptions about the way things ought to be, about right and wrong, good or bad, desirable and undesirable. These three set of assumptions provide us with a frame of reference, a consistent view of self relation to the environment. Some assumptions may be valid or invalid and may be more or less explicit and conscious. Since the self is experienced as the core of our existence, we tend to develop a system of ego-defense mechanism to maintain the picture of our adequacy and worth and defend ourselves from self devaluation. Rationalizing our mistakes, blaming others for feelings we think we should not have, and avoiding activities which we think might not do well are familiar ways in which we protect our self-esteem and avoid anxiety. There are several aspects of our frame of reference. Our assumption about reality, possibility and value afford us a sense of self-identity. An unclear self-identity between real and ideal selves can lea to the development of our life-style. Our assumptions serve not only as guides to behavior but also as inner controls. Value assumptions can prevent an individual from stealing or behaving in ways that we consider unethical. Such value assumptions are what we refer to as the super-ego or conscience. It is said that when our inner controls are strong enough to direct our behavior in accordance with the expectations and norms of our society, then, we are said to be socialized.
Since every individual develops a sense of selfhood, he becomes an increasingly important force in directing his behavior. While much of his behavior is influenced and shaped by external demands, he typically perceives himself as an active force in initiating his plans and actions. It is the I who is seen as needing some things while trying to avoid others. IT is also the I who perceives and responds to new situations and conditions with regard to his own motives, assumption, aspiration and feelings. In the process, each of us achieves an increasing sense of identity and selfdirection. If we regard every individual as a striving, evaluating, adapting individual not simply as the passive result of heredity and environment we may consider the self as the third and final determinant of personality.
THE PATTERNS AND THE DIRECTIONS OF DEVELOPMENT As the new human beings life with inherent few built-in patterns and the capacity to learn gradually from experience, the price of such a high degree of prolonged immaturity, the necessity of mastering the know-how and know why of surviving, such learning will require most of the life cycle of the human infant. In analyzing the pattern and direction of development, it is important to focus on the informative period of the life cycle to see how growth pattern is influenced by the inner and outer determinants. The human developed follows a predictable sequence and proceeds in a direction to toward differentiation, integration, and complex process. The maintenance of pattern depends, to a large extent, on a favorable environment and on individuals learning competencies. Since childrens growth is shaped in various ways in different sociocultural environment, there are certain characteristics tendencies that
lead individuals toward responsible self-direction and toward personality maturity. Dependence of self-direction This starts from the dependency of fetus, infant, and child to the independence and self direction. This development is a clear a manifestation of personal identity and the acquisition of formation, competencies and values. Pleasure of reality Freud had postulated the pleasure principle, the tendency to seek pleasure and avoid pain and discomfort. This fundamental is governing early behavior of the individual. This simply means distinguishing between infancy and reality. Ignorance to knowledge The human being, when born, is in the total stage of ignorant; but gradually, begins to acquire information about himself and the environment about him. With time, the information is organized into a systematic and organized pattern of assumptions regarding reality and value that provides a framework of reference for guiding behavior. This framework should be adequate and realistic and relevant to the types of problems that must be dealt with accordingly. Incomplete to competence This entire period from infancy through adolescence is premised toward the mastery of intellectual, emotional, social, and other related competencies that are necessary for adulthood. As individual grow, they develop and acquire skills in problem-solving, decisionmaking, and learn to control their emotions and to use them for the enhancement and fulfillment of living. The preparation of marital, sexual, occupational, parental and other social roles and relationships that are directly associated, with adult life are included in this stage of development. Diffuse to articulated self-identity The emergence of the identity of the child is gradual process and its first manifestations involve the infants
differentiation of self from the surrounding environment. The various reactions from the environment influenced the childs characteristics over a wide range of personal traits, both good and bad. The achievement of a selfdefined identity that is internally consistent in keeping with persons real characteristics is not a guarantee to success. It is observed that, as a rule, the person will have achieved a sense of selfhood and future direction by the end of the adolescent years. Amoral to moral Newborn infants are amoral in the sense that they have no concept of right and wrong. In the early years, children learn that certain forms of behavior are approved or good while other forms are disapproved or bad. In the early quest for knowledge, infants seldom show evidence of a sense of right and wrong. Given time and input from their parents, this, too, will come as they gradually learn a pattern of value assumptions that operate as inner guides and controls of behavior, which is referred to as a conscience. At the outset, they accept these values as assumptions blindly, but as they mature, they learn to appraise them, and develop their own moral orientation and think of the rights of others.
STAGES AND TASKS IN CHILD DEVELOPMENT There are a number of studies of infants that have shown that the human development tends to follow a definite pattern, not only in the physical and motor development, but also in the intellectual, emotional and social development. Crawling and sitting come up before walking. Early emotional reactions become differentiated into love, humor, grief and other special patterns. Language behavior progresses from random vocalizing to the works that eventually become vehicles for thinking. It is important to know that in each stage of development, there are certain tasks and competencies that must be mastered. Learning to walk and talk are major tasks and
accomplishments of infancy. Establishing a sense of identity and acquiring the intellectual, emotional and interpersonal competencies needed for adulthood are key tasks for adolescence. If development tasks are not mastered at an appropriate stage, the child suffers from immaturities and in competencies and is placed at a serious disadvantage in adjusting and in developmental levels later. A young individual who had not yet learned to walk or talk would be at a serious disadvantage when he enters nursery school or kindergarten. By the same token, the adolescent who does not have friends misses a major opportunity for acquiring the experiences and skills in interacting with others that will be helpful later for establishing better relationships. It is observed that some developmental tasks are set by the individuals own needs, and some by the physical and social and technological changes may also create new development tasks for all of us. THE CRUCIAL TASKS OF MATURATION AND LEARNING Maturation refers to the growth following the birth that is determined primarily by genetic factors and occurs more or less independently of learning. The built-in maturational process provides the potentials for orderly progression of development, by these potentials for the orderly progression of development, by these potentials can be realized only in favorable environmental conditions. During the early development, critical stages occur during certain types of stimulation and learning are essential for normal development. Harlon (1966) found out that, if infant monkeys were in isolation, during the first six months after birth, they developed seriously inadequacies in social and sexual behavior as adolescence and adults. In the human behavior, some infants appear to be more severely affected than others early deprivation of basic needs. Mental retardation,
inability to form warm interpersonal relationships, and antisocial behavior have all been shown to be associated with extreme emotional, social, and intellectual deprivation in infancy. Early learning experiences help lay the foundation for a child (the findings of Skieels (1976) on the adulthood intellectual status of two groups of individuals who had been placed in an orphanage as infants). One group of thirteen children, ranging from seven months to three years of age, had been transferred from the orphanage to another institution where the adult inmates, though mentally retarded, provided more stimulation and personal contact for the children. A follow up study twentyone years later showed an average gain of 3.16 IQ for this group, as compared with an average loss of 20.16 IQ points for a match (control) group who had stayed in the original orphanage. The effects of parental deprivation and aversive stimulation on intellectual, emotional, and social development certainly play a crucial role in the early development of an individual. Simple conditioning is common in infancy and early childhood, and provides many new response patterns which is often without the childs awareness of such learning. Their perceptual and cognitive capabilities develop children become increasingly active agents in pursuing their interest and in shaping their own learning ability to discriminate, interpret, and evaluate experiences that make them less susceptible to simple conditioning. While children show similarities in learned abilities, they also show differences. Misheal (1973) in her study, identified five learning-based differences that are apparently in early childhood. Children have acquired different levels of competency in different areas.
Children have learned different levels of concepts and different strategies for coding and categorizing their experiences and process new information differently in accordance with these strategies and structures. Children have learned to find different situations attractive or disagreeable and to seek different things. Children have learned different ways of coping with impulses and different things. Differences in these areas continue through childhood and into adolescence. Such learned variations make some children far better prepared than others for further learning and personal development. The ability to make effective use of new experiences depends very much on what is already there, on the adequacy with which past learning has prepared the child for assimilating new learning in ways will be facilitative and productive. Most theories of personality development emphasize the importance of early experiences in shaping the right direction that an individuals coping style will take. HUMAN BEHAVIOR - Human behavior occurs not in response to external stimulation but also in response to certain energizing conditions within the organisms and their goal-oriented characteristics. Our individual motives and needs depend, to a great extent, on the insistence and integrity of the degree in which their satisfaction may be delayed or postponed. Some are very important requirements of the living organisms that are continuously recurring and satisfaction of them may not be delayed if the biological organism is to remain viable and alive. These needs include oxygen, food, water, elimination process, and the maintenance of temperature within a certain degree. Such needs are
inherent and universal in the organisms. Other needs, such as the need to escape from frustration, may be partly hereditary. Majority of the various human needs and motives are products of experiences. The majority of motives that may be learned and their manner of expression is virtually limitless. STRIVING TOWARDS MAINTENANCE AND ACTUALIZATION - The motivation of all living organisms is based on their basic strivings towards maintenance and survival. The individual organism resists disintegration and tends to develop and behave in accordance with its genetic possibilities. These strivings operate on the biological level among human beings. The digestive, circulatory, and other body functions operate in such a way as to maintain the bodys physiological equilibrium and integration. The mechanisms that are necessary for ensuring normal blood chemistry for maintaining constant body temperature , and for combating invading microorganisms , we see this continuous process of the body to preserve steady states-to maintain physiological variables within a range essential for survival. These endeavors are generally referred to as homeostasis. Living organisms strive to maintain steady states not only internally but also in relation to their environment in order to prevent environmental variations from disrupting their functions. Human beings maintain steady states with respect to safety, work, love, marriage, and other conditions important to their well being. BIOLOGICAL STRIVINGS The biological strivings that appear relevant to human behavior include strivings to meet our visceral needs and our needs for stimulation and activity, for safety and avoidance of pain and sexual gratification. The
most basic of all human requirements are food, water, sleep, the elimination of waste, and other conditions and substances necessary for survival. STIMULATION AND ACTIVITY - Research findings and personal accounts of explorers, have shown that psychological integration depends on adequate contact with the outside world PEOPLE CONFINED IN DARK CHAMBERS. The traditional solitary confinement of prisoners or sound proof room used for training astronauts, often display their stress and anxiety symptoms including hallucinations, delusions, apathy, and fear of losing sanity. Individuals who have undergone these experiences become more receptive to information that is fed-in-a tendency that is susceptible to brainwashing may be effective after a long period of time. An unusual and dramatic account of the need for stimulation comes from the experiences of Sen. Benigno Aquino and other political prisoners who were put in solitary confinement during the Martial Law Regime under ex-president Ferdinand E. Marcos. Psychological functioning becomes impaired and often results in serious personality disorganization. This is due to organic brain disturbances where individuals whose current adaptation to more freedom disrupted. This condition, when repeated by excessive life changes, is vulnerable to illness, psychological problems and even death. SAFETY AND AVOIDANCE OF PAIN - From the early stage of infancy period, an individual tends to withdrawn from painful stimuli and to avoid objects that have brought him pain or discomfort in the past. The experience of pain is acutely unpleasant. Severe hunger, thirst and fatigue can be extremely painful. Other forms of intense stimulation, e.g., heat, cold, pressure and anxiety can be a cause of pain and discomfort. Just as pain can serve as a warning or indicator to protect us from bodily harm, it can also serve as a safeguard against psychological damage. When pain is prolonged,
it may gradually wear down the sufferers adjustive resources and lead to feelings of despair. SEX - The meaning and importance of sexual strivings vary from one person to another. Sexual tensions, fantasies and experiences and other problems related to sexual gratifications which are usually important facets of an individuals personal life. Our attitude toward sex and the part it plays in our lives can be an important source of satisfaction and self-fulfillment, while sexual motivation is probably second only to the hunger motive and has far-reaching implications for both personal and social living. PSYCHOLOGICAL STRIVINGS - The psychological requirements for healthy human development are influenced by learning and other social experience of an individual. While psychological requirements are less readily identified than requirements for food, water, sleep, and other psychological strivings of all of us human beings. LOVE, BELONGINGNESS AND APPROVAL - To love and to be loved are very important to a healthy personality development. Dears and Levin (1957) found out that the most crucial and persuasive of all the influences toward healthy growth and development of children were the love and warmth imparted by the parents. For a young who feels loved and accepted, many conditions that might otherwise impair the development, e.g., physical handicap, poverty, and harsh discipline, may, to a great extent, be neutralized. On the other hand, if the child feels unloved, no amount of materials benefit on him will make up for it. The wounded feeling will naturally distort his personal development and may lead to attempts to retaliate. The need for closeness to other people continues throughout life and becomes especially important in times of severe stress or crisis. Bard (1966) found out that the need for affiliation and human contact is even greater than it is as death approaches.
SELF-ESTEEM, WORTH AND IDENTITY - The need for adequacy and social approval is the need to feel good about oneself and be worthy for the respect of others. Self-esteem has its early foundation in parental affirmation of self-worth and in mastery of the nourishment from the development tasks. It also receives continuous nourishments from the development of new experiences and competencies and from the achievements in the areas deemed very crucial and eventually, it comes it comes to depend heavily on the values. This is manifested in terms of physical appearance, achievement or economic status-or with feelings of self-esteem and worth in ones self-identity. This is also significantly influenced by other individuals in the group and ones role and status. It may be of interest to note that despite changes in physical appearance, in status and in social role, people tend to maintain continuity in their individual feelings of self-identity. The importance of sexual striving varies from one person to another. Sexual tensions, fantasies and experiences and other problems related to sexual gratification are usually important facets of an individuals personal life. Our attitude toward sex and the part it plays in our lives can be an important source of satisfaction and self-fulfillment. While sexual motivation is probably second only to the hunger motives, it has farreaching implications for both personal and social living. DEVELOPING THE CHILDS SELF-ESTEEM Perhaps nothing is more critical to a childs development than developing his self-esteem. This is a product of unconditional love and is accomplished through encouragement, affirmation and appreciation of the unique qualities of the child. Encouragement is a pure form of positive feedback. It is encouraging for children to hear the person they must love; tell them that they are wonderful! It is encouraging for them to hear that you are proud of their
efforts! It is not encouraging for a child to hear that if he tries harder, he will do better than his sister. A child is not very concerned with efficiency. His jobs are to experiment and create, to try new things and learn what work is best for him. It is a process perfected over his entire childhood. Teach your child to through word and action that you are proud of him, that he is capable and competent; it is the most important thing you can do to put him on the road to a successful and happy adulthood. Here are ways to encouraged your child. Look for opportunities, large and small, to tell your child through word and action that you are proud of him. Eliminate the negative comments. Everybody spills milk instead of appearing frustrated or angry, give your child a sponge and say Ill bet youll do a great job cleaning up the spills! Smile often at you child! This is a simple thing that sends the message that he makes you happy! He is appreciated and loved. Catch him being good. This is an excellent way to encouraged appropriate behavior, but it also boosts a childs self-esteem to know that he is doing something right and you appreciate it. Think a head. If your child is about to embark on something new, whether it is joining a sports team or just going to a party, prepare him. Let your child know what he can expect. If possible, give him some experiences beforehand. Have a practice party at the dinner table the night before. If he is joining a baseball team, take him to watch one so he sees things like where the kids sit and how they behave during the game. Practice positive messages you can send your child. Always be sincere; dont ever use this messages sarcastically or you will damage their effectiveness and your child wont trust you.
Send your positive message every day, whenever you can. Try hard to eliminate negative communications, including frowns and body language that shows you are displeased. Of course, there are times when that is appropriate, but if you work hard to remember not to expect more than you should for your childs age and development, it will be easier to eliminate inappropriate negative messages and fill his days with positive encouragement. It may be the greatest gift you can give to your child. VALUES AND MEANING. It has been observed that there has been little research on the human need for values and meaning. Values and meaning appear to act as catalyst, in their presence, energy is mobilized, competencies are developed and used, and satisfactions are achieved. These are important for, without them, life seems meaningless and the individual is bored. Closely related to ones needs for values and meanings are his goals and plans, for he lives in the past, the present, the future. There seems to be an anxiety about the future. Personal judgment and effectiveness are likely to be influenced by ones values. PERSONAL GROWTH AND FULFILLMENT - People strive not only to maintain themselves and survive but also to express their potentialities. Huxly says, that human life is a struggle against frustration, ignorance, suffering and evil, but it is also a continuous struggle for something. Fulfillment seems to describe better than any single and positive side of human development-the realization of innate capacities by the individual and of new avenues, the satisfaction of needs, spiritual and material; the emerging of new experiences to be enjoined; and the building of ones personality. This stage of longing for fulfillment, takes a different form with different people, depending on their abilities, motivation, aspiration, values and life
situations. Generally we appear to share certain longings as human beings; e.g., (a) toward developing and utilizing our potentialities in constructive and creative ways, as in arts, music, literature, science, athletics, and other developmental pursuits that faster creative self-expression; (b) toward the enrichment of living, toward enriching the range and quality of our experiences and satisfactions for instance, in travel; (c) toward increasing our relationship with the world around us-forming warm personal and meaningful relations with others and thereby, becoming involved in the human enterprise and (d) toward becoming a complete human being. Our needs for loving relationships know no age limits. MOTIVATION AND BEHAVIOR - Motivation is often used as synonym for drive or activations; simply implies that the organisms actions are partly determined by directions and strengths by its own inner nature while behavior is the aggregate of observable responses of an organism to internal and external stimuli. Motivation accounts not only for the direction but also for the activation of behavior-the energy mobilized in pursuit of ones goal. The activation varies in degree from low to very high and from deep sleep to intense excitement. At any given moment, an individuals level of activation is influenced by a wide range of individual and situational factors. It is affected by the manner one perceives the situation and evaluates its potential dissatisfaction and frustration. It is also affected by various inner conditions; e.g., biological drives emotions, sudden low noises, strange and new stimuli, fatigue, disease, pain and drugs. Normally, efficient task performance requires a moderate level of activation. With a too low level, the individual may fail to spend the energy and effort essential to tasks achievements, while very high levels tend to result in poorly coordinated functioning and impaired performance. While there are certain individual differences in personal sensitivity or excitability, some people learn to respond to familiar situations with
appropriate levels of activation; however, a person may react with high level of activation in the face of challenging situations. Conditions like sever fatigue, pain, intense, inner conflict, and loss of hope may likely lead to extreme fluctuations in activation. Motivation also influences what we learn, as well as how rapidly and how much. Despite our eagerness, our motivation may influence our beliefs and to a certain extent, our thought processes in helping us justify our behavior. This is one of the reasons why one cannot objectively judge disputes in which he has vested interest on one side of the issue.
THE ROLE OF THE FAMILY IN SHAPING ONES PERSONALITY Relevant theories: As much as we would like to believe that individuals are responsible for making development still proves to be noteworthy. In simpler terms, the environment shapes the landscapes by which a person chooses who he would like to become. This mans future self, through a product of his free will, but free choices is shaped in the confines and parameters set by his history, family, society and other life circumstances. It is in overcoming these limitations that man ultimately finds himself. 1. Psychoanalytic theory: Horney and Fromm (1989) emphasized the forces in society that influenced personality. Horney stressed social forces that operate within the family; Fromm pointed beyond the family toward social factors within the society at large. Drawing on their own clinical experience, as well as on
cultural anthropological and literary evidence, Horney and Fromm showed how Freuds concepts were product of his social and cultural milieu. Horney (1992) argued with Freud on the importance of childhood experiences in shaping adult personality structure and functioning. She argued that the social relationship between the child and the parents in the deciding factor in determining personality growth. The family has the foremost influence or the developmental processes that form adult personality and the adults orientation to interpersonal relationships. Whether we grow up as anxious or confident, trusting or suspicious, ambitious or contented, sociable or shy is determined very largely by our early experiences of family life. According to Horney, childhood is characterized by two needs: the need for satisfaction and the need for safety. Satisfaction encompasses all the basic physiological needs. Although Horney recognizes the importance of satisfying needs ensuring physical survival, she did not regard them as having the key significance in shaping personality. What is essential in the childs development is the need for safety. The childs fundamental motive in this case is to feel wanted, loved and protected from the dangerous and hostile world (Baron,1989). Just like Horneys belief, the present study determined if those children who live with complete set of parents have temperaments and disposition which are different from those who are from dysfunctional families. 2. Humanistic Theory: This theory emphasized the view of a person as an active, creative, experiencing human being who lives in the present and subjectively responds to current perceptions, relationship and encounters. The
humanistic view of personality is a positive, optimistic one that stresses the tendency of the human personality toward growth and self actualization. According to Rogers (1989) we enter the world with no self-concept and no self. All we have are sensory impressions, biological processes and motor activities. Rogers said that every individual exists in a continually changing world of experience of which he is the center. He called this The phenomenal world. As we grow, we learn to differentiate our self from other parts of the phenomenal world and eventually come to see ourselves as independent selves. As farther, Rogers believed that humans have a fundamental need to realize their potentials, a need for what he referred to as self actualization. We use this need as the basis for evaluating our experiences in life-those that enhance our development are seen as positive experiences. Because we all have somewhat different potentials, we will evaluate experiences differently and thus, develop different sets of values. Many early theories, suggested that self esteem is a basic human need or motivation. American psychologist Abraham Maslow, for example included self esteem in his hierarchy of needs. He described two different forms of esteem the need for respect from others and the need for self respect or inner self esteem. Respect from others entails recognition, acceptance, status and appreciation and was believed to be more fragile and easily lost than inner self-esteem. According to Maslow, without the fulfillment of the self esteem need, individuals will be driven to seek it and is unable to grow and obtain self actualization. Modern theories of self esteem explore the reasons why humans are motivated to maintain a high regard for them. Soubmeter theory maintains that self esteem evolved to check ones social group. According to Terror
Management Theory, self esteem serves as a protective function and reduces anxiety about life and death. 3. Dispositional Theory: Allports (1967) theory emphasized the uniqueness of the individual, the contemporaries of motives and a holistic view of the person. He defined personality as the dynamic organization within the individual of those psychophysical systems that determined his characteristics of behavior and thought. For Allport, personality is not a mere fiction or imaginary concept but a real entity. He wanted to suggest that ones personality is really there. He referred to the concept of personality as a hypothetical construct that is currently unobservable because it cannot be measured empirically. However, Allport suggested that personality is an interference that may someday be demonstrated directly as the real existence within the person, involving neural or physiological components (Engler,2006). Gordon Allport considered personality traits to be a predisposition to respond, in the same or a similar manner, to different kinds of stimuli. In other words, traits are consistent and enduring ways of reacting to our environment. He summarized the characteristics of traits as follows: 1.Personality traits are real and exist within each of us. They are not theoretical constructs or labels made up to account for behavior, 2.Traits determine or cause behavior. They do not rise only in response to certain to certain stimuli. They motivate us to seek appropriate stimuli and they produce behavior, 3.Traits is interrelated, they may overlap even though they represented different characteristics. For example, aggressiveness and hostility are distinct but are related traits and are frequently observed to occur together in a persons behavior, 4.And lastly, traits vary with the situation. For example, a person may display the trait of neatness in one
situation and the trait of disorderliness in another situation (Schultz, Duane and Schultz, Sydney Ellen, 2005). Allport traits are distinguishing characteristics are guide behavior. They are measured on a continuum and are subject to social, environmental and cultural influences. People have always described one another by talking about their differences and putting them into general categories. People have been described as hot-tempered or placid, shy or aggressive, masculine or feminine, intelligent or dull and so forth. Even though our specific actions may vary according to the situation we are in, we conceive of ourselves as the same person and recognize a certain regularity or pattern in our behavior. These qualities appear to be long term dispositions or traits that can be used to characterized our personality.
4. Theory of Cognitive Development: Piagets theory as cited by Musca (1999) on his study The Academic Performance of Father-Present and Father-Absent High School Adolescent, states that intelligence is not a fitted trait set for life, but rather a process of adapting to the environment. The environment makes demands on the persons; these demands are reacted upon when the person assimilates aspects of the environment to existing cognitive structure demands. In the first case the persons behavior is determined by existing cognitive structures. In the second case, the environment modifies the persons behavior or intelligence.
The family is the closest and most direct environment to a child, especially for the growing up adolescent. The adolescent needless to say, virtually spends most o his time within this environment. For this reason, it is from the family that he learns new things and new facts of life. It is the family that first shapes his mental behavior and helps develop his intelligence.
5. Theory of Behaviorism: These theories declined in mid-century, under the impact of failures to find empirical support. Simple reinforcement theory was seriously weakened by work on developmental psycholinguistics, attachment, modeling, and altruism. The field turned to more domain-specific mini-theories. The advent of microanalytic analyses of parentchild interaction focused attention on bidirectional processes. Views about the nature of identification and its role in socialization underwent profound change. The role of "parent as teacher" was reconceptualized (with strong influence from Vygotskian thinking). There has been increasing emphasis on the role of emotions and mutual cognitions in establishing the meaning of parentchild exchanges. The enormous asymmetry in power and competence between adults and children implies that the parentchild relationship must have a unique role in childhood socialization.
6. Self Theory Horney believed that the self is the core of ones being, their potential. If one has an accurate conception of themselves, they are free to realize their potential. The healthy persons real self is aimed at reaching their self actualization throughout life.
The neurotic self is split, however, into an ideal self and a despised self. Ones ideal self is created when one feels they are lacking in some area of life and are not living up to the ideals that they should be. What they should be is their ideal. This ideal self is not a positive goal, nor is it realistic or possible. The despised self, on the other hand, is the feeling that one is hated by all around them; one assumes that this hated being is their true self. The neurotic therefore swings back and forth between pretending and hating themselves. Horney called this inner battle the tyranny of the shoulds and the neurotics striving for glory. These two impossible selves present the neurotic from ever reaching their potential. The parents are the one who is responsible in who you are and what kind of self theory you have. Just like Horneys belief, commonly those children who live with complete set of parents are having ideal self different from those who are from dysfunctional family who have despised self.
7. Carl Gustav Theory Jungs theory divides the psyche into three main parts: EGO - the conscious mind. PERSONAL UNCONCIOUS, when includes anything which is not presently conscious, but can be. The personal unconscious is like most peoples understanding of the unconscious in that it includes both memories that are easily brought to mind and those that have been suppressed for some reason. COLLECTIVE UNCONCIOUS, also known as psychic inheritance, it is the reservoir of our experiences as a species, kind of knowledge we are all born
with. And yet we can never be directs conscious of it. It influences all of our experiences and behaviors, most especially the emotional ones, but we only know about it indirectly, by looking at those influences. There are some experiences that show the effects of the collective unconscious more clearly than others: The experiences of love at first sight, of dj vu, and the immediate recognition of certain symbols and the meanings of certain myths, could all be understood as the sudden conjunction of our outer reality and the inner reality of the collective unconscious. Grander examples are the creative experiences shared by artists and musicians all over the world and in all times, or mythologies, fairy tales, and literature. A common example that has been greatly discussed recently is the neardeath experienced. It seems that many people, of many different cultural backgrounds, find that they have very similar recollections when they are bought back from a close encounter with death. Jung believes that we are born with two innate attitudes one of which leads us to look inward, the other of which to look outward. Jung described them in this manner; the attitude of introversion which is normally characterized by a hesitant, reflective, retiring nature that keeps itself, shrinks from objects, is slightly on the defensive and prefers to hide behind mistrustful scrutiny. On the other hand, the attitude of extraversion is normally characterized by an outgoing candid and accommodating nature that adapts easily to a given situation, quickly forms attachments and will often venture forth with careless confidence into unknown situation. the spiritual experiences of mystics of all religions, or parallels in dreams, fantasies,
8. Need Hierarchy Theory The need hierarchy theory is based on the assumption that people are motivated to satisfy a number of needs that money can satisfy directly or indirectly. The hierarchy of needs theory is considered one of the most widely identified theories of motivation put forth by psychologist Abraham Maslow. Maslow saw human needs placed by Maslow are ascending order of importance. Physiological Needs - These are the basic needs for sustaining life such as food, water, air, shelter, and sleep. Maslow noted that until these needs which are necessary to maintain activity for their satisfaction. Security or safety needs - These are the needs to be free of any physical danger, threat and deprivation and of the fear of losing a job or shelter. Affiliation or acceptance needs - People are social beings; and therefore, they need to belong and to be accepted by others. This need is satisfied by the development of meaningful personal relations with other groups of individuals. Esteem Needs - Maslow view that once people begin to satisfy their need to belong, they aspire to be held in esteem both by themselves and by others. This type of need produces satisfaction such as power, prestige, status, selfconfidence and self-worth. Need for self-actualization - Maslow regards this need as the apex of all needs in the hierarchy. This is a desire and aspiration of an individual to become what one is capable of becoming-to maximize ones potential and to accomplish something that is worthy of recognition. Maslows concept of hierarchy of needs has been subjected to considerable researches by various
scholars in the field of psychology. They found little evidence to support Maslows theory that human needs form a hierarchy. TABLE OF NEEDS 1. Physiological needs Food and water Sleep Health Body needs Exercises and rest
2. SAFETY NEEDS Security and safety Protection Comfort and peace No threats or danger Orderly and neat surroundings Assurance of long term economic well-being
3. SOCIAL NEEDS
Acceptance Feeling of belonging Membership in group
Love and affection Group participants
4. ESTEEM NEEDS Recognition and prestige Confidence and leadership Competence and success Strength and intelligence
5. SELF-ACTUALIZATION Self-fulfillment of potential Doing things for the challenge of accomplishment Intellectual curiosity Creativity and aesthetic appreciation Acceptance of reality
GENERALIZATION
These theories simply confirm the role of the family in the formation of a childs personality, self concept and intelligence. When faced with challenges, a child looks back to his parents, primary models or examples in the family structure and will most likely imitate how his parents have previously hurdled similar problems. More often than not, what a child sees in the family dynamics at home will be assimilated in his existing cognitive
structures, which will be retrieved as the need arises. Modeling of appropriate manners, etiquette and values also happens in the typical family context. Most importantly a child, whose family demonstrated unconditional love for him, will most likely develop a healthy, mature personality capable of socializing and eventually demonstrating love for others too. In short, the family as the most direct environment to a child and particularly its configuration, may significantly influenced a childs personality traits and the way he views himself (self-concept).
PARENTING STYLES The role of the parents in a childs life gradually changes as the end of infancy approaches. To the baby, parents are primarily caregivers-nurturing, loving figures. But as the childs matures and becomes more active and more autonomous, the parents provide less physical care and more discipline. They now begin to teach the youngsters to act in ways consistent with their notions of good and bad, acceptable and unacceptable, how they do these can have a marked influence on the childs personality development. This influenced has been revealed in the work of Diana Baumrind, who has studied child rearing practices over a number of years. Baumrind began by identifying three basic personality profiles in nursery school children on the basis of 14 weeks of observation. A. Youngsters in group 1 (the mature group) were energetic,
emotionally positive toward peers, and high in curiosity, self-reliance and self-control
B. Youngster
in
group
(the
disaffiliated
group)
were
moody,
apprehensive, easily upset, positively hostile, and either negative in their relations with peers or socially withdrawn. C. Youngsters in group3 (the immature group) were impulsive, undercontrolled, and low in self-reliance, but more cheerful and resilient than those in group 2. Baumrind then assessed the parents of those children through personal interviews, home observations and laboratory studies. She found three distinctive styles of parenting. (1) Parents of the mature children were nurturing and responsive, but firm in setting limits. They were also flexible in their thinking and encouraged their children toward independence. Baumrind called this authoritative parenting. (2) In and contrast, harsh in parents of the disaffiliated youngsters were an
unresponsive to their childrens wishes, inflexible in their thinking controlling behavior-what Baumrind calls authoritarian style. (3) Parents of the immature youngsters were somewhat nhurturing, but they totally failed to set firm limits or to require age-appropriate behavior, thus hindering the development of self-control in their children. Baumrind labeled them permissive parenting. Apparently, a parenting style characterized by warmth and nurturance, the encouragement of independence, but the setting of firm rules when needed is associated with very positive outcomes
IV. CONCLUSION
Based on this research the following conclusions were drawn:
1. Personality refers to more than the physical attributes of person. It leads us to an understanding of who we are and how we similar or different from other individuals. 2. Personality is more than inherent in a person. It is largely created by the environment on mostly shaped by an individuals experienced. 3. The family is the most direct environment to a child and particularly its configuration, may significantly influenced a childs personality traits and the way he views himself. 4. The family has the most significant role in the formation of a childs personality. It is in the family where a child would gain his first knowledge and experiences which will likely manifest up to adulthood or even old age. 5. The family serves as the role model of the child, whatever the family will do, the child will follow it. 6. There are several problems that a parent may encounter in taking care of their child. It is not easy to be a parent. A parent must be ready in their responsibilities.
7. A child whose family demonstrated unconditional love for him will most likely develop a healthy, mature personality capable of socializing and eventually demonstrating love for others too. 8. The parents in particular who provide all the needs and experiences of the child are believed to be responsible for what the child will become. 9. The parenting style of the parents also considers a big factor in
developing ones personality. Parenting style characterized by warmth and nurturance, the encouragement of independence, but the setting of firm rules when needed is associated with very positive outcomes in children. 10. Who we are and what we are is because of our parents. If we grow happy, contented and satisfied then our parent done a good job but if the child has difficulty to him, whatever it is, its the parents who are more likely to be blamed.
V. RECOMMENDATION After a thorough analysis of data, the following recommendations are hereby made: 1. The parents should have enough time in taking care of their child. 2. The parents should serve as a good role model to their child. They must possess positive traits in order for the child to grow up with good personality. 3. The parents should not only be responsible with the basic needs of the child but also for the emotional needs of the child. 4. The parents should have authoritative kind of parenting style for the child to be matured enough in the future. 5. The parents should be prepared and aware that such evaluations by the environment may create some problems for their own children.
6. The parents should be ready to take responsibilities. They are well
prepared financially, physically, emotionally, socially, intellectually in taking care of a child. 7. The parents should avoid entrusting their child with others because those persons who take care of their children are likely to become their psychological parents. 8. The parents should be close enough to their child for the child to trust and love them back.
9. The family should be loving and complete. And ready for any problems to come that they are strong enough to face and survive those challenges. 10. The parents should always show their love and support to their child but also ready to discipline their child in a good way that the child will realize his mistake.
VI. REFERENCE Books

Barbara Engler.Personality Theories 7th Editio.Boston, New york.2006. Duane Schultz and Sydney Ellen Schultz.Theories of
Personality.Boston, New York.2004.
Eleanor E. McCoby.The role of Parents in the socializing of Children; An Historical Overview.Nov. 1992.
Hjelle Eysenk and M.W. Eysenk.Personality and Individual Differences. Plenum Publishing.1989.
John
Hattie.Self-Concept.New
Jersey.Lawrence
Erlbaum
Associates.1992.
John W. Santrock. Psychology 6th Edition. Mc Graw-Hill Higher Education.Boston 2000.
Lewis R. Aiken.Assestment of Personality.Allyn and Bacon.Boston London. 1989.
Robert A. Baron.Psychology 2nd edition.Allyn and Bacon Boston.1989. Robert Burns.Self-Concept Development and Education.London.Holt, Rinehart and Winston.1982.
R. Philipchalk and J. McConell. Understanding Human Behavior 8th Edition.Holt Rinehart and Winston.1994. Unpublished Materials
Remegio R. Musca.The Academic Performance of Father-Present and
Father-Absent High School Adolescents.Bulacan State University, Malolos Bulacan.1999. (unpublished thesis). Internet Site
Wikipedia,thefreeencyclopedia.WhatisPersonality.http://www.Preschool
erstoday.com.parenting.
www.Google.com.The
role
of
the
parents
in
shaping
ones
personality.Psychologytoday.

The Effect of The Parents in The Personality Development of Their Children

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The Role of the Parents in Personality Development in Positive and Negative Perspectives1

their children personality?

Acceptance Feeling of belonging Membership in group

Love and affection Group participants

Based on this research the following conclusions were drawn:

VI. REFERENCE Books

Personality.Boston, New York.2004.

John W. Santrock. Psychology 6th Edition. Mc Graw-Hill Higher Education.Boston 2000.

Lewis R. Aiken.Assestment of Personality.Allyn and Bacon.Boston London. 1989.

Remegio R. Musca.The Academic Performance of Father-Present and

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