1. How are friendships different from other relationships? Discuss the challenges of friendships as discussed in your textbook.

What are common expectations for friendships give an example of each. Explain how friendships vary over time.

2. Your textbook discusses six developmental stages of how friendships develop. Identify each stage in sequence and discuss characteristics of each stage. Use a real or hypothetical example to illustrate this general developmental path.
ROLE-LIMITED INTERACTION - This is the awkward meeting and getting to know each other stage like a blind date or a chance encounter in a store when people first start to talk and get to know each other. FRIENDLY RELATIONS - This phase is when the two people in the relationship kind of feel each other out and see if the relationship is worth pursuing further. MOVING TOWARD FRIENDSHIP - Self investment starts here. This happens after the people have decided the friendship is worth pursuing and may break out of their social roles. NASCENT FRIENDSHIP - This stage of development may move toward the I-Thou interactions. People may give each other a title like friend and begin to get a routine or pattern of how they interact. STABALIZED FRIENDSHIP - People in a relationship can start making plans together in the future because it s understood that both parties have an investment in the relationship and plan on it sustaining for a period of time. The relationship becomes stable.

and WANING FRIENDSHIP - A lot of relationships will gradually start to drift apart due to boredom or different priorities or geographical concerns, etc.

3. Critics of online communities argue that there is greater potential for deceit in online relationships in comparison to face-to face ones. Discuss the advantages or disadvantages of having the ability to represent yourself differently in an online community in contrast to a faceto-face community. If you think there are ethical issues here, discuss the ethical issues. If you feel ethics are irrelevant to this issue, explain why.

Online relationships are on the rise daily, as people find it hard to meet people in their inner circles either because they are busy in the workplace or whatever might be the case, online is very promising. Some advantages to online relationships are you can choose people who match your criteria, if nothing else verbally; you can minimize risk by preserving your anonymity because you can reveal who you are when you are ready. Some people enjoy being who they wish they were or being open because they are too shy in person. You can judge someone on values and interests instead of superficial physical qualities because you dont see them and not knowing if the picture that they supply is true or false, you base your opinion on them by your online conversations instead of buying a book for its cover. Another advantage is you can easily screen your e-mail to check for red flags, research information and so forth. You are always advantaged because you are in control of when to respond through online.

As with advantages, there are always disadvantages to online communication. The identities arent necessarily what they are claimed to be. This is a known disadvantage so you go into the chat room with this in mind. People can use outdated photos or even photos of other people. They can lie about sex, race, and other facets of identity. They can lie but at some point when you are ready, you can make that telephone exchange to pan out some of the issues and ask for a coffee date. The most important disadvantage when you have cleared the other disadvantages is it is hard to judge some aspects of chemistry without meeting face-to-face. Since we are use to meeting people person-to-person, we are use to judging or checking on our body chemistry to see if the vibe is there.

As for as ethical issues, I think that we all are aware that online is what it is. You will find some that will present themselves freely and openly but there will be others that use the online communication as a means to pass time and fun whether it be at your expense or not. This is something that we must keep in consideration when resulting to online communication.

4. What is the difference between the social exchange theory and the equity theory? Define both theories.

The social exchange theory is weighed as you do anything economically but instead of using money, other values are used such as time, effort and also money that you spend in the relationship. The rewards could be companionship, support, and affection that come from a relationship. During the measurement, as long as the rewards are greater than the costs, the net outcome for the relationship is positive. When we see that the costs are more than the rewards, we move on to something else as I did with my boyfriend.

Everyone wants a relationship that is equal or at least this is a desire for all females. Equity is fairness that is based on the definition of the couple involved. Once they define for themselves what fair and equal is, they base the equity on whether the relationship is satisfying and

enduring. People tend to stay together if they are on the same sheet and they both give to the relationship in what they have defined as equal parts.

5. Define and discuss the four guidelines for effective communication in families. Provide examples to illustrate each guideline.

The four guidelines for communicating effectively in families is to first build and maintain equitable relationships because it is critical to family satisfaction and stability. Second the ongoing daily choices help family relationships. In the family relationship, small things can matter as much as if not even more than big ones and third we must show respect and consideration. I think it is the most important because family expects the respect and consideration from their partners and from children, even more than from strangers. Last, we must not sweat the small stuff because there will always be differences between two humans. Just know how to determine what is important and what you can let go.

6. Your friend is in a new long distance relationship. Your friend knows you are studying interpersonal communication and asks you to identify the challenges or difficulties of longdistance romantic relationships and explain communication strategies for coping with these challenges. Your response should focus on how couples involved in long-distance relationships can establish and sustain satisfying communication.

I would first want to know how much she care about the relationship because distant communication is one of the main reasons that high school students dissolve their friendships when they are no longer with their friend classmates. If they care a lot about the friendship then there is a possibility that the friendship will continue. Another way to sustain a long distance relationship is frequently communicating through e-mail, phone calls, letters and visits but of course this depends upon the socioeconomic class and sex of the friend. They need to know how to manage work and family and if you are a person that works roving shifts, it is more difficult because your schedule is off and when you have time off, the people right next to you get first priority of your time. Sex and gender also play a role because women are more sentimental so they will more than likely communicate more to hold on to the relationship. Men will have more time on their hands but are not likely to make the move to maintain the relationship. Women have many more things to do than men and they can always find the time because they are born with the sentimental values. With the difference in genders, I would advise her not to feel bad if she is the one making most of the contact first.

7. Define small talk and explain its role in developing relationships.

If we want our relationships to last, we have to be able to overlook a lot of little meaningless things that cause irritations and frustrations because we are not in the mood because there will always be nuances in a relationship. We must consider what is important and what is not. We must also know that we all have differences and to accept each other as we are to include our differences and our disappointments. My husband has a habit of placing his magazines on the floor when he is done with them instead of placing them in the recycle bin that is dedicated for them. It is something that irritates me to no end. I have discussed this with him but it is something that he has not changed during the time that we have been together. I have learned that it is something that I am not fussing or getting mad about anymore because it is not worth it. It is too small of an issue to cause a heated discussion or argument about that escalates each time I get started.

8. Identify and describe the styles of love as identified in your textbook. Describe each of these styles and given an example of each.

There are three primary styles of love eros, storage, and ludus. Eros is a powerful and passionate style of love that takes place suddenly. When I met my now husband, our love was the eros style because it was something that we could not hold back, it was like a blaze of fire burning down a city; nothing could stand in the way of us being together. The fiance that I left after years was a storage style of love. We were friends for a long time before we decided to date each other and mainly it started because we had the same interests and we did a lot of things together as friends. After we were together so much, feelings grew into more and we started to date going from friends one day to lovers the next. The next stage ludus is a style that I witnessed as I was growing up with my brothers; they were not serious with girls so they took love as a joke. They were very playful with girls, they had several girls at the same time but not serious with any and with that not honest in my opinion with any.

There are also three secondary styles of love pragma, mania, and agape. Pragmatic lovers have clear criteria for partners, such as religious, affiliation, career and family background. An example of this is my nephew, he married a young lady that his parents basically placed upon him because during the stages of him dating, his parents instilled in him that his wife had to meet the family background and if not she would not be allowed in the family. He had to decide if he wanted to remain affiliated with the family and abide by their stigmas or go with the girl that his heart fell for. He is or appears to be happily married with her as they have been married for eight years and have two beautiful children. The second process of mania, these lovers are unsure that others really love them, they also tests their partners to see if they love them. It is something or a game that I would play when I was very young to see if a guy was really interested in me. I had brothers and they had friends so their friends would ask me out and be playful with me around my so-called boyfriends at the time to see if they were really interested or just faking. The last secondary style is agape and this is something that military spouses face all the time. They must place their careers on hold to follow their military husbands or wives. My brothers wife and children moved over 30 times in 20 years with my brother during his military career. Now that

he has retired his wife has started a career and told him that he must follow her if her job requires her to move.

9. Identify and briefly describe the patterns in terms of how relationships tend to come apart or deteriorate. Use a real or hypothetical example to illustrate each of these phases.

There are five stage sequences that describe the pattern of how a relationship deteriorates. The first phase is when one or both feel that they are not happy with what is happening in the relationship. When I left my fiance after a number of years, the first stage initiated because I felt that he was not serious because his words did not match his actions; he would say how important I was to him in his life but no commitment was made or offered to me. When I expressed to him my desires of having a committed relationship, he was very much against a commitment and this commenced the intrapsychic process. After listening to his feelings and knowing where he was going and how he considered the relationship, I started to slowly remove myself from the closeness of the relationship. This resulted in not calling him, changing what I would normally do, I would go out and be around other people, making other peoples priorities more important; by this time the phase was dyadic process. Since I was very close to his family, I spoke of the situation with his family in which understood but could not betray their commitment to him so they argued the situation to make me feel that I was on the wrong track thinking that he should solidify the relationship. This made me discuss the issue with the next person that I had a daily relationship with and made me realize and understand that I was not off-track. I went to my social support of my friend, my family and his family to move on to the next phase of gravedressing process where I was moving on to remove myself entirely from the relationship because I knew what I wanted from life and he had proven to me that he was not willing to offer. I spoke to him and finally gave him an ultimatum of one year to decide if he wanted to make a commitment to marry me or lose me. I was prepared for leaving him because the ultimatum had to be adhered to in order for him to understand the seriousness of the matter for me. The final phase of the relationship deterioration was the resurrection process because I left after the years deadline because he did not make any changes or cared to at that time. I moved away and started living my life as a single again. I kept in contact with him and even today we are in contact telephonically when he contacts me. There are no ill feelings on my part or his I dont think.

10. According to your textbook, there are seven stages typical in the life cycle of a family with children. Fully describe and provide an example to explain each of those seven stages. The seven stages typical in the life cycle of a family with children are establishing a family and this is where you get married or live together and get to know each others expectations, daily routines, and interaction patterns for each other being as one; the next stage is where you transition to adding another member in your household, enlarging the family - a child between you and your mate; the next stage is where you develop your family, as parents we teach the kids everything from potty training to table manners while at the same time we must balance work

and family because we are not alone; the next stage is encouraging independence because as kids enter adolescence, they are more self supportive in a lot of areas. Some are even embarrassed when parents dont want to let go or are overly protective or intrusive; the next stage is where the children will leave home for college, leave home to live alone or get married where you are launching the child or children; the next stage is postlaunching of children where the married couple tries to redefine their marriage because the kids are no longer around to occupy the empty space at home. It is also a time to do things that could never be done because of the children such as travel any time you and your husband have a three-day week-end; and the last stage in life is the retirement stage where you have ulterior changes, you feel like youre lost and not wanted because you lose your identity of importance because we value the workforce. As a couple, we lean on each other to make the life change so that the implications of change will not be so drastic, we travel more and pursue more hobbies together such as painting, exercising, traveling, etc.