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d. To stop unscientific comparison. Unscientific comparison. Comparisons and relativity is unscientific. You cannot compare apples and oranges. You are who you areshe is who she is he is who he is. We all come from different educational, social, cultural and economic backgrounds. All of us are different, with different uniqueness, strengths, experiences, talents and of course mistakes and faults. A person from the village is different from the person from the city. A person from China is different from a person from America. So because we are all different, there is no such thing as I am better than him or she is better than me. What is the value of feeling sad or jealous when we realize that someone is far more skilled than us in something. I am sure you are far more skilled that that person in another thing. If you want his skill, then learn. There is no need to compete and there is no need to feel sad or jealous. Feel happy with yourself and learn whatever you need to learn. What should I do to develop self-esteem? A. List down in detail all the good qualities you have or skills that you are putting in effort to develop in all the 5 areas. The more you can find the better. The 5 areas are: 1. Physical- Health, beauty, possessions, money, sports, etc. 2. Emotional- Relationships with family, relatives, friends , neighbours, spouse etc. 3. Mental- Discipline, Believe in Self, Not shy, confident etc. 4. Intellectual- Knowledge, hard skills, creativity etc. 5. Spirituality- Understanding of life, compassion towards others, good works towards others. Intellectual 1. I can speak 4 languages- English, French, Mandarin, Hokkien. 2. I can write really very good articles and can actually make money out of it. 3. I can drive the car. 4. I am good with the computer. I can type fast, I can use the internet, I can do great presentations, I can airbrush stuff etc, 5. I can create advertisements. 6. I can manage 2 departments at the same time. 7. I can teach and train people in life skils. 8. I am super good in external affairs. 9. My English is superb. 10. I can travel to different countries. 11. I can hold discussions and meetings 12. I am learning how to speak Spanish 13. I am learning how to cook.. B. Pump and constantly repeat to yourself I am who I am and at the same time remember all the good qualities that you have listed down for your self-esteem exercise. (c) Copyright 2010 by Nur Hafishah Rahmat . All rights reserved. Reuse of the content is only permitted with expressed permission of the author.
C. To apply this concept in real situations, you have to repeat I am who I am in situations where you feel you are losing your self-esteem. So for eg. a. When unhappy people are making jealous or negative remarks about you.repeat I am who I am again and again so that the mind can see that you have all these strengths and you should be happy with yourself. Your happiness should be from your self-esteem and not from the opinion of others. b. When you see negative things about yourself repeat I am who I am and understand that yes you have certain things about yourself that you are not unhappy about which youll put in effort to develop but at the same time there are so many wonderful things about yourself that you should never forget. c. When you want to say something to a person but you feel if you say it, they might feel unhappy (assuming here you are saying something that is fair to stand up for yourself or to help others). So repeat I am who I am and say what you want to say to that person because the truth is that is how you feel. Dont mix issues. You are a wonderful person and by telling others what you feel, you actually trying to stand up for yourself, correct whatever needs to be corrected or you are trying to help the other person. How they feel, is how they feel but you are a wonderful person and your happiness should not be controlled by their anger or sadness because of the what you just said to them. d. When you break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend, you dont have to feel rejected and start thinking that you are not good enough and then compare yourself with another girl/boy because the reality is you are fantastic. Always tell yourself I am who I am and think of all the good qualities that you have so that you dont feel rejected. Songs: 1. Akon- I am beautiful 2. Bruno Mars- Just the way you are. Quotations: I am who I am I am new so I make mistakes I dont care about what others think, I only care about what God thinks.
(c) Copyright 2010 by Nur Hafishah Rahmat . All rights reserved. Reuse of the content is only permitted with expressed permission of the author.