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Flutter
Sunflower kisses and Dewdrops Spiritual musing for the Young and the Young at heart A Catholic Literary Composition

By Tin Guevarra

Copyright November 2011 Manila, Philippines Email author at antintin@yahoo.com

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For You are my reason, I need no more words.

About the Author & this Book

Tin Guevarra is a Physician by profession but a writer at heart.
These are some of her literary works
(anecdotes, blogs, poems, short stories, and all the doughnuts & chocnuts)

shared to you in order to inspire and share her faith to those who are willing to give Him another try. The Last 365 days of Twenty-Somethings (6) What you Know is what you See (8) He is Not a Genie from Arabian Nights (9) Gloomy Eyes that Take my breath away (10) The Sun Behind the Dark Clouds (11) Shores (13) The First Quarter of My Life (14) The Bench (17) Walk on Water (20) In the Woods with Hansel and Gretel (21) When we are sick, we remember our Mother (23) And the Mashed Potato said, Pour on me my gravy (25) Morto: Incognito (27) Pauses for Breathing (29) Pentecost 101 (30) The Red and Green Lights, but please, not Yellow (33) Emotional Periodic Pseudoparalysis (34) The Discernment of Mateo (36) It is Finished (39) For all the Reasons (40)

The Last 365 days of Twenty-Somethings

During my 20th birthday, I was cramming for reports as a college student. I happily wore my Sablay (Graduation sash used at the University of the Philippines) months later. At 21 years old, I was teaching Values Education at Sacred Heart Academy of Pasig. I loved being with kids. When I turned 22, I became a Guidance Counselor at Philippine Science High School. Stayed another year because I loved it there so much. And would not have left if not for a calling. At 23, my friends and I were singing Plumb's "Real." After that year, I got detached from their world because of medical school. I was a first year medical student at University of Santo Tomas (UST) Medicine when I turned 24. I cut my hair so short. At Quarter life, I was struggling with my first real heart ache. Pharmacology was a real pain in the **** head, silly. I had a Friday night surprise with my block mates when I turned 26. I still have the birthday candles with me. At 27, I spent my birthday at the UST Internal Medicine Outpatient Department. Ice cream and "double treats" present!
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Last year, I was a post duty intern at Philippine General Hospital

Pediatrics Ward with a teddy bear in my hand given to me by my favorite patient named JC, a case of Guillain-Barre Syndrome, who got discharged that same day. I missed him terribly. The next time I saw him, he was at the Rehabilitation Medicine Ward. After saying goodbyes, I turned around to have one last look of him, he was still waving at me. Today, I am 29: one day old as a licensed Physician, one year short of being thirty, 20 years of being a student, 3 years of being a Guidance Counselor, but forever a friend, a sister, and a daughter. My heart remains at 20, when one is no longer a teenager but not quite an adult. Each life milestone leads us closer to the end. I thrive on relationships. So, this shall be my compass. My North is my God, my South is the land on my feet, my East is my family, and my West, well, it's you, my friend and the many others I am blessed to have in my life. And so, let us begin the last 365 days of my being a twenty-something. Thank you for being here with me. Fasten your seat belts. We are about to take off. Enjoy the flight! Here we go!!!! Woohoo!!!

What you Know is what you See

Not that medicine isn't life. It is my life now. Especially now that I am rotating in Internal Medicine. According to our senior resident, "What you know is what you see." What we know, what we learn, what we remember at the time we take our patient's history and do our PE, is what we look for and actually see; leading us to a probable diagnosis. I could not help but relate this very nice quote to something much deeper than hospital work. What you know is what you see. A glimpse of God's hand at work is difficult to see if we don't know Him. And who can say that he truly knows God? All are but fragments, pieces and bits of Him that we see, we feel, we encounter each day of our lives. Because we only know a fragment, a piece, a bit of Him... The Ultimate Healer and the newbie healer, the intersection of which is the ward. What you know is what you see. That does not mean we stop at that. There is much to know about the diseases as there is much to know about the Lord. It is not "Believing what we see." But searching for what we believe in until we finally find Him and see Him face to face. May we not miss him out or even pass out the chance to find him, wherever we are and even in the busiest moments of our lives. May we strive to know more so we could see more.
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He is Not a Genie from Arabian Nights

He's more than flying carpets and our three wishes. Although, rubbing a magic lamp may be similar to what we call a prayer. A genie gives what his master wishes for regardless of its importance in his life or if it would do him good or not. But with the Lord, He would give us what's best for us not only today, not only tomorrow, but that which is eternally good. Many times we pray for things that we think are good. And oftentimes, we get disappointed when our prayers are not answered the way we want them to be answered . But God is a Father, not a genie. Our plans are nothing compared to His plans for us. They are beyond imagination. And how could we wish for things that we could not fathom yet? The genie says, "Your wish is my command." But we say to the Lord, "Thy will be done." This teaches us to love our Creator more like family, like a friend and not just a Provider like the genie. We invite Him to take part in our lives and be the center that which both stirs us to walk on and directs us to where our feet should carry us. If the genie lays upon his master's feet all his master's desires, our God teaches us to work hard and enjoy the fruits of our labor. Certainly, it is not easy. There are lots of sacrifices, heartaches, and dreams that remain dreams. But through it all, we become truly human and not live by whims, drives, and imaginings. We see what is real, and love what is real. There is no escaping the process of falling in love with the Lord. In everything and in anything, if we open our eyes and hearts wide enough, we would recognize Him in the happy times and the sad times of our lives. Just never let go.
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Gloomy Eyes that Take my breath away

Gloomy eyes that take my breath away How I wish to speak to you again I yearn for your voice on the other line Oh, do you still think of me on this lonely night? The longer the days go by The more my heart seems to die Only, I fight to survive Because of you And this long day has been a pain for me My mind bouncing to rewind My heart pounding against my chest As I stare back at those gloomy eyes That take my breath away

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Even butterflies know that sometimes, rather than soaring, it is best to simply

Flutter.

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