Essay title:

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of
educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put
more people into prison. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Student : NGUYEN DINH HUNG

The crime is now more and more increasing considerably in our life. In order to decrease the number of crimes, in

parallel of assuring the poverty life and helping everybody rise their knowledge, we also need to have more police on

the street as well as create more punishments for the criminals.

We can see that the causes of most crime are mainly from two reasons, the lack of poverty in life and the poor

education. Therefore, if we tackled two ones effectively, we would make the society safer and regular. Above of all, we

should pay attention much to the life of the poor and the unemployment who have high capacity of committing a

crime. From this concern, we could adjust the policy to reduce the number of unemployment and the poor at least.

When everybody has a stable job, that means they have already received an educational chance. That is, however, not

enough for them to acknowledge fully about how a wonderful, peace life is. We should organize many public activities

and some compulsory educated socialized class to lead them to a good life.

In parallel of coping the causes of crime, we have to set up a clearly system of punishment to frighten the people who

are planning to get illegal activities as well as increase the number of polices supervising on the street. However,

except the punishment of sending the criminal to prison, we should consider carefully the level of the effect caused by

the criminal to have an appropriate method. Fro example, some crime which affect not much to people and society we

could charge them to do community activities to educate them as well as contribute to develop society. The more

appropriate punishment the criminals have been treated, the less crime the society get.

All in all, attacking the cause of crime should coincide with building the suitable system of punishment as well as

rising the number of police on the street. That is the effective way to cope the increasing criminal nowadays.
Writing Skill Report

WRITING SKILLS Assessment Comments

TASK RESPONSE
answer question fully 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
relevant accurate (ideas)
appropriate
COHERENCE
Logical organisation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
information and ideas
paragraph
TS, SS, DS etc
linking words
COHESION
Organisation of language 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
subject – verb aggrement
word order
tenses
articles
pronouns (referents)
GRAMMAR
range of sentences 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
range of structures
VOCABULARY
formal – informal 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
range of topics
word forms
collocation (usage)
SPELLING 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
rate of error
PUNTUATION 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

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