BUSINESS WRITING SKILLS DENOTATION VERSUS CONNOTATION Understanding potential word meanings A word by itself has little meaning.

It is better to say that words have potential meaning. Their actual meanings come from the context in which you use them, your intention and knowledge, and the understanding and attitude of the receiver. Denotation defined Every word has two categories of meanings: denotation and connotation. Denotation refers to the factual definition of an object, act, situation, quality, or idea. Words can also have more than one denotative meaning. Connotation defined Connotation refers to how a person feels about a word, based on past experiences. Sometimes it is difficult to project a persons reaction to a word within the context of a message. Attitudes / feelings affect word connotation To illustrate these two categories of meanings, examine the following: ignorant, dumb, unintelligent, unaware, uninformed, illiterate, unlettered, untutored, unlearned. The denotative meaning is the same a lack of knowledge or the absence of knowledge. But attitudes and feelings associated with these two words vary. Sometimes unfavorable or even antagonistic connotations are given to one or maybe even all of these. Nevertheless, even connotation can change based on social acceptance. For instance, most people would object to being described as ignorant because of negative connotations. In some situations, such as in a legal dispute, the word ignorant could have positive connotations. Consider this example: My client was totally ignorant of any fraud or misuse of funds. The denotative meaning is a lack of knowledge; the connotative meaning is My client is blameless. Check for correct denotations In choosing words, consider the denotations as well as the connotations so that your reader will have a clear picture of the message. For the correct denotation, you have two very good sources you can rely on a dictionary and a thesaurus. As you work to improve your writing or speaking, keep these two resources nearby so that you can refer to them often. The dictionary gives you standardized meanings of words. A good dictionary will also provide usage, pronunciation, spelling, syllabication, antonyms, synonyms, parts of speech, inflected forms, abbreviations, capitalization, and cross-references. The thesaurus gives you additional words that have the same general denotative meaning as the word you are using. Avoid using the same word in your writing unless you are using it purposely to provide emphasis, or unless the word you are repeating is technically the most exact word for your purpose. Variety in

usage increases reader interest in the communication. The only impression the reader may have of you is what the written document reveals. A few misused words may cause the reader to discard your message entirely.

POSITIVE VERSUS NEGATIVE WORDS Word choice affects message tone Just as words can convey various denotative and connotative meanings, these same words and combinations of words can also convey positive, neutral, or negative impressions. These impressions create the tone of the message. Your objective for the communication and your relationship to the reader will help you determine the most appropriate words to use. Sometimes writers associate negative words such as difficult, criticism, no, cannot, or unable with negative communication. But consider these sentences: He completed the difficult task in record time. Mary takes criticism well. No other person could fill his shoes. We cannot say enough good about the athletic program at your school. We are unable to identify a single weakness in the system. Word choice for negative ideas Although negative words appear in each o these sentences, the tone for each is positive. A good rule to follow, then, is to select words that express a positive tone. Note in Figure 5.1 how effectively the editor of the Harvard Business Review conveys positive thoughts using negative words.

Figure 5.1 Harvard Business Review

Harvard Business Review

Soldiers Field Road Boston, Mass 02163

WELCOME TO HBR We are delighted that you are now an HBR subscriber. In becoming affiliated with us, you will be in good company. Of our 240, 000 subscribers, nearly all are in management ranks. Half are corporate officers, principals, or senior managers. Further, our subscribers represent every major industry in the world and live in over 150 countries. Although we try to represent advanced management thinking and practice in all fields of management, we dont claim to be omniscient. Any time you feel strongly that some subject should be covered which has not been analyzed in HBR, I hope you will write me on the subject. I can promise you that every letter that comes in will receive my personal attention. Once again, we are pleased you have joined us and hope that you will find HBR rewarding for a long time to come. Yours sincerely Theodore Levitt TL/gzd

Another alternative to consider is the replacements of negative words with positive statements. This is not always easy, because sometimes you will have to write messages that convey bad news. Sometimes you will want to be direct and say no with a negative word. Thus you will need to select carefully which words you chose to express negative ideas. Compare these examples: Negative No refunds are made after 30 days. Your credit application is refused on the basis of gross income. You failed to mention the date of arrival. Positive Merchandise is fully refundable for the first 30 days. When your gross income exceeds $20,000, credit will be granted. Please mark the enclosed card to indicate your date of arrival.

Figure 5.2 presents guidelines for developing positive impressions in your writing.

Figure 5.2 Guidelines for Developing Positive Impressions Use 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Avoid 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. A selfish point of view. Exaggerating: bragging. gushiness. making promises you cannot keep. Irritation, doubt, or indifference. Criticizing or arguing with the reader. Talking down the reader. Pompous or stuffy writing. Words that have negative connotations. Words that express: sincerity. courtesy. consideration. A style that is conversational. A you attitude one of helpfulness. Words that have positive connotations. Words that put you in step with the reader. Words that express an attitude of service. Words that build good will.

CONCRETE VERSUS ABSTRACT WORDS Concrete words-direct, precise When possible, use concrete words that denote tangible persons, objects, places, or events. Concrete words such as tree, house, football, smile, parade, and rose petals are direct and precise. The reader is unlikely to misunderstand these words because they are so specific in nature. Abstract words-concepts, ideas, or virtues You cannot always use concrete words, however, and still express what you mean. What if you want to discuss concepts, ideas, or virtues? Abstract words such as family, honesty, deception, truth, professionalism, friendliness, and quality control are all a part of the everyday vocabulary of the business world; yet their meanings are a little more difficult to pinpoint than the concrete examples listed above. Connotations of abstract words Abstract words have varied connotations that carry the reader beyond the literal and the precise to underlying feelings, qualities, and/or beliefs. To communicate clearly when using abstract words, you may need to define or illustrate them so your reader will know what you mean. For example, if you use the word family, the reader may interpret it in several ways your immediate family; your extended family; or a much broader definition that includes others, such as a company family. Use abstract words cautiously Some abstract words leave the interpretation to the reader. Vague words such as several, few, most, and majority fall in this class. Say what you mean! At times it is expedient to use abstract words, but use them with caution since meanings vary from person to person. In these examples, notice how the clarity of the message is improved by replacing the abstract words with others that are more concrete: Concrete writing improves clarity Abstract The auditorium is quite large. She lives close to the beach. Are family rates available? We are several dollars short of our goal. Concrete The auditorium will seat 2,000 people. She lives about 10 miles from the beach. What are the rates for a family of four? We are $300 short of our goal.

SHORT VERSUS LONG WORDS Have you ever thought about how profound and vivid short, simple words are? Most readers appreciate short words that are simple and to the point. Did you know that 77 percent of Lincolns Gettysburg Address consists of words of five or fewer letters? Short, action-oriented words make powerful sentences Business communication usually involves writing that is short and simple. Advertising specialists recognise the importance of simple words and use them to reach the general public. In fact, you are bombarded every day by advertisements for products or services that use simple words. Observe these powerful, clear slogans: We do it all for you! McDonalds Mm! Mm! Good! Campbells Soup When it rains, it pours. Morton Salt Dont leave home without it. American Express Delta gets you there with care. Delta Airlines For most of your writing, choose simple words to convey your message. However, the use of short, simple words does not always guarantee clear communication. In Figure 5.3 most of the words are simple, yet the letter is ineffective. What is the writer attempting to communicate? What makes the letter ineffective? The key to effective communication is to consider the reader / audience and then determine the level of writing. Overused words/phrases lack power Sometimes even simple short words can be used to point they lose their power. These overused words are like stagnant water there is no life left in them. Use words that form an image in the readers mind. Choose vivid, lively words that give your message impact. The English language is so versatile that you dont need to confine yourself to just a few words or phrases. Contrast these examples of overused/outdated words and phrases with the improved versions. Overused/outdated If we can be further of service, please do not hesitate to call. In reference to your letter of May 24, Enclosed is a self-addressed envelope for your convenience. Pursuant to your request, we are enclosing herewith a copy of our financial report. Improved Let us serve you again, just call 888-1943. You mention in your May 24 letter Just slip your reply in the enclosed, preaddressed envelope. Here is the financial report you requested.

Figure 5.3 Ineffective Letter Using Simple Words

Supplemental Security Income Notice of Revised Determination

From : Department of Health and Human Services Social Security Administration

579

Dear Mrs. Neel: We will stop your payment as shown above, beginning December 19__. This action is in step with the law and is based on information supplied by you in our records You have monthly income which must be considered in figuring your eligibility as follows Your Social Security benefitsbefore any deductions for Medicare medical insurance premiums of $175.22 for December 19__ on. Your special one-time payment of rents, interest, dividends, or royalties received December 19__, of $550.75. Because of your income, you are not eligible to receive extra income payments for December 19__ on. This decision refers only to your claim for extra income payments. If any time in the future you think you qualify for extra income, please contact us at once. If you are not eligible to receive payment during a month before December 19__, you will have to file a new request to receive payment. Since we cannot make payment for a month before the month in which a request is filed, a delayed request will result in a loss of payment for any months in which you are otherwise eligible. Although we plan to take the action shown above, you may have your current payment continued if you request an appeal within 10 days of receiving this notice. Cordially yours,

Important: See other side for an explanation of your appeal rights and other information

TIMESAVING WORDS Timesaving words improve readability Research shows that wordy communication is costly-costly to write and costly to interpret. Managers and people in general have come to appreciate and expect quick results. We like instant coffee, instant cameras, instant playbacks on TV, drive-in food service, and microwave ovens. And we also like to receive communications that are concise and easy to read. You can simplify your writing by eliminating unnecessary words. Wordy phrases can usually be expressed in one or two words. Phrase At the present time Due to the fact that For the purpose of In the event that In the future In very few instances In view of the fact that In the vicinity of Is of the opinion that Is equipped with Make a decision Subsequent to Until such time as Was in communication with With the exception of Substitute Now Because For If Soon Rarely Since, because Near Thinks Has Decide After Until Talked with Except

FAMILIAR WORDS Note the technical jargon in this paragraph: These processes apply to the choice of compositional parameters-pitch, for example. You can caricaturise each process by its power-density spectrum, the variation of the random sequences energy versus its frequency. The spectral characterisation applies only to the random variables sequence of values; it says nothing about acoustical spectra of the actual sounds. Jargon defined Unless you know the technical terms, this paragraph is difficult to understand. Jargon is defined as a hybrid vocabulary unique to a special group of people. Suppose you wrote a memo to someone with a technical background similar to yours. In this instance, you could appropriately use technical terms. When you decide to use them, however, you should be certain your reader will understand them. Otherwise, you run the risk of being misinterpreted or misunderstood. And even if

your reader understands your message, technical reading is more difficult and, for some readers, boring. Avoid jargon For most business communication, avoid jargon and choose familiar words appropriate for a general audience. This same principle holds true for the use of acronyms letters that stand for such words as TV (television), ACM (Association for Computing Machinery), MICR (magnetic ink character recognition), or CBIS (computer-based information system). Select your words and terms to fit your audience. Avoid slang expressions Avoid slang expressions in business communications. Slang expressions inappropriate for business communication include: Cotton pickin Top dog Driving everyone bananas Throw in the towel Jolly good time Yall Fly-by-night outfit Screwed up Its real cool It sounds hip

UNBIASED WORDS Sex-role stereotypes are widespread Although women now comprise over 50 percent of the work force, they still have a long way to break the invisible barriers of sex stereotypes. A study conducted by Harvard Business Review in 1985 found sex-role stereotypes widespread. Sex discrimination and deregulation have helped women make into the once maledominated corporate world, but progress is slow. Effects of sex-role stereotypes Studies are currently being conducted to determine whether the effects of low salaries and prestige are a result of sex-biased language. There is reason to believe this is the case since other studies give clear evidence that sex-role stereotypes as well as sex-characteristic stereotypes influence individuals perception of women in leadership roles.1 Eliminate sex discrimination In this context, the selection of words takes on new meaning. When communicating, choose words carefully to avoid sex discrimination both in the selection process and by assigning a person or group to a leading or subordinate role.
Leann K. Ellis Wallace V. Schmidt, and Virginia Eman Wheeless, An Empirical Study of Sex-Characteristic Stereotypes versus Sex-Role Stereotypes Affecting Women in Management. Proceedings of the Association for Business Communication, Southwest Division (1985), p. 83
1

Eliminate these stereotype contrasts. 2 Worried family man versus Harried housewife Man who protests versus Woman who complains Man as breadwinner versus Woman as extra income earner Mans career versus Womans job Authoritative man versus Domineering female

Eliminate unnecessary gender pronouns. 3 Change from: To: If his position If the position Provided the person can Provided the person can prove that he or she suffered prove a loss was suffered a loss

Avoid using words denoting gender: Incorrect Correct Anchorman News anchor Businessman Business executive Congressman Member of Congress Craftsman Artisan Forefathers Ancestors Foreman Supervisor Mailman Letter carrier Mankind People Manpower Workforce Policeman Police officer Salesman Salesclerk Workmens compensation Workers compensation.

Choose unbiased words Sex-related stereotypes are just one of the areas to consider when choosing unbiased words. Our society is now aware of the importance of avoiding discrimination because of age, race, or natural origin. This awareness has made us more sensitive to peoples feelings. In developing good language skills, select words that express this sensitivity. Avoid using words that demean a persons because of age: Incorrect Correct Young, upstart intern Newly hired intern For our elderly employees for experienced employees Avoid using words that show racial and ethnic bias: Incorrect Correct Blacks who are less Individuals who are less fortunate fortunate Mary, the Jewish secretary Mary, the secretary who Who was was

Irwin-Dorsey Guidelines for Use of Non-sexist Language (Homewood, III: Richard D. Ibid.

Irwin).
3

WRITING SENTENCES Composing grammatically correct sentences So far, you have examined word choices and discussed some of the cautions in selecting words. But words are like automobile parts; they are interesting but do very little until combined with other parts. The way Ford and Jaguar design and assemble their automobile parts gives class, style, and distinctiveness. So it is with words. The way they put together, first in sentences and ten in paragraphs, is what determines your writing style. You select the words and then arrange them into grammatically correct sentences to form paragraphs. With the selection of appropriate words and careful arrangement of them, you can make a positive impact on your reader. You have attended English classes through most of your school years. By now, you have a basic knowledge of English grammar. Your use of correct grammar is important since most people associate poor grammar with the uneducated or the illiterate. This negative attitude will prejudice your reader against accepting your thoughts, regardless of how valid or important they are. This section reviews some basic characteristics for developing sentences.

TYPES OF SENTENCES A sentence defined Types of sentences A sentence is a group of words expressing a complete thought. Sentences can be classified into one of four groups: simple, compound, complex, and compoundcomplex. Simple sentence A simple sentence must be at least two parts, a subject (noun or pronoun) and a verb. In these simple sentences subjects are underlined once and verbs underlined twice: Margaret danced. The attentive listener noticed the quiver in the speakers voice. The faculty and administration met and talked in a closed session. In each of these examples, only one thought is expressed. Note, however, that the third example has a compound subject and a compound verb. Compound sentence A second type, the compound sentences, is actually two simple sentences connected with a coordinating conjunction and a comma (and, bur, or, for, nor) or a semicolon. This type of sentence expresses two separate thoughts of equal rank.

People are an organisations most valuable resources, and highly successful companies realise this. He shouted again, but no one heard him. Bob caught on quickly; he became the literated bookkeeper Complex sentences A third type, the complex sentence, contains at least two clauses one independent clause and one or more dependent clauses. An independent clause, like a simple sentence, must contain a subject, a verb, and express a complete thought. A dependent clause contains a subject and verb cannot stand alone; it needs help from the independent clause to complete the thought. The dependent clauses are underlined in these examples. After they left the classroom, the students discussed the lecture. Significant changes, which challenge our world today, affect our values as well as our technologies. Well manage crises and learn to resolve conflicts, which this course teaches. Compound-complex sentence The fourth type of sentence, the compound-complex, contains two or more independent clauses plus one or more dependent clauses. Use this type sparingly in business writing since it is more difficult for the reader to understand. Again, the dependent clauses are underlined. The problem, which has been described in many ways, is still present; and we see no solution in sight. Because the people were feeling intimidated by the computer, we tried a new approach; and the report contains the results. Use a mix of a sentence types Effective business communication usually contains a mix of these four sentence types. Variety, the spice of life, could help your readers interested. Nevertheless, variety, like any writing tool, should be used with purpose. When you wish to call attention to a specific idea, you might choose to emphasise the point by using a sentence structure different from those around it. Using a different sentence pattern for each sentence in a paragraph would surely make the paragraph more difficult to read. In addition to simply avoiding an endless string of similar sentences, variety can help you accentuate an idea, emphasise a particular point, orchestrate ideas, or demonstrate their relationships. Variety is more than just spice: it can be a powerful structural tool as well. Now lets review another sentence characteristic active and passive voice.

ACTIVE VERSUS PASSIVE SENTENCES Active voice / passive voice In addition to sentence types, you have another choice to consider whether to write in the active or passive voice. In active voice, the subject of the sentence does the acting. In contrast, the subject is acted upon in passive voice. The active voice is the stronger of the two; and most writers prefer the active form. Why? When writers use the active voice, messages come alive, are vivid, are more personable, require fewer words, and are easier to follow. Contrast these versions: Active You say the right things. Bob developed and presented plan. We all celebrated the victory. Passive Saying the right things is an active talent of yours. The plan was developed and presented by Bob. The victory was celebrated by all.

Active voice and strong, action-oriented verbs add strength to your writing. At times, however, the passive voice is preferred. This voice can soften the impact of negative news, for example. What if the objective of the message is to establish blame or to refuse active request? In these instances, the use of the passive voice is helpful. The passive voice is also appropriate to place emphasis on action already taken: your order was shipped on August 10, 19_. Examine the differences in tone for these examples: Active You made several errors in the ads. You broke the video when you dropped it. I cannot give you any copies of classified materials. Passive Several errors were made in the ads. The video was broken when it fell. Copies of classified materials are not allowed.

SENTENCES THAT SUCCEED In constructing sentences that are sure to succeed, professional writers follow these simple guidelines. Guidelines for effective sentences Short sentences Keep Your Sentences Short. When listening to someone talk, have you thought, I could say that in five minutes? Such speakers soon lose their audience. The same holds true for readers of business communication. Readers simply wont take time to wade through active lot of rhetoric. If they read the message at all, they

will probably skim it, pick out the highlights, and disregard the rest. Careless writers chance having pertinent information overlooked. Long sentences are hard to follow and are usually dull. However, dont make your sentences so short that they sound blunt and choppy or fail to show the logical connection between ideas you wish the reader to see. Eliminate unnecessary details. The average sentence length is 16 words. In your writing, strive to achieve active balance. Contrast this example and its revision: Example: The 150 employees from our company who attended our recent workshop on communications and the filled out the questionnaire about the workshop responded positively to it. The computer questionnaires indicate active positive response from those who attended the July 17 communication workshop.

Rewrite:

Consider the reader Show Consideration for the Reader. Everyone likes to fell important. By viewing things from the readers standpoint, you show respect and consideration for that person. This is called the you viewpoint. The you viewpoint builds personal relationships, business relationships, and goodwill. By assuming the readers viewpoint, you establish active climate of helpfulness. Compare these we and you viewpoints: We Viewpoint We feel you should be commended on your accomplishments. Our shipping department mailed the order on March 15. I am active responsible person. We will be happy to serve you again. You Viewpoint Congratulations on you accomplishments! Your order was mailed on March 15. You can count on me to be responsible. Please let us serve you again soon. In these examples, note the use of both the first person ( I, my, me, we, us, our) and second person (you) in the same sentences. How do you know which sentences are you focused? You determine this by examining the overall attitude or tone of the message. If your message benefits the reader, comes across as sincere, is courteous and considerate, you are on the right track. No such rule says, Always use the second person (you). You need active balance in your messages. Messages that overdo are messages that need to be done over. Correct sentence meanings Let Your Sentences Say What You Mean. Misplaced words or phrases can produce active totally different meaning from the one intended. Read this sentence:

Miss Brown only responded to the request. This says that Miss Brown didnt do anything else but respond. Connotations of this message might be: Miss Brown is active totally responsible person. She is active helpful person. She is not active procrastinator. Make sure your sentences say what you mean. You make fewer mistakes in this area if you: 1. Place modifiers next to the words they describe. 2. Check to see that you correctly position phrases beginning with which, that, who, or whom. Compare these examples: Incorrect We located the gentleman looking through the lobby. (Who is looking through the lobby? We? The gentleman?) Each employee was asked to contribute, but Miss Miller only has given $1.95. (Is Miss Miller active cheapskate, or is she only person contributing?) The letter to our employees in the attached envelope was sent on June 10. (Are the employees in the envelope, or is the letter?) Correct While looking through the lobby, we located the gentleman. Each employee was asked to contribute, but only Miss Miller has given $1.95. The letter in the attached envelope was sent to our employee on June 10.

Unintentional repetition Dont Be Unintentional Repetitive. Needless repetition of words detracts from the message. Why would you need to say new innovation or join together? Edit your writing and delete such redundancies as: above and beyond angry, irate boss modern, up-to-date newly created past history repeat again true facts very unique most rare

These redundancies add nothing to the connotation. At times, however, you may want to repeat words or phrases for emphasis. This type of repetition does add to the communication. Some of the most powerful speeches in history contain repetitive phrases. Many speakers and writes know how to use this technique effectively. Martin Luther King, Jr., used it. In his famous speech I Have a Dream, King used the phrase I have a dream eight times. Thoughtful repetition can achieve impact and emphasis, as shown in some excerpts from persuasive letters. We can meet the deadline! We can save you money! We can give you quality! You have many, many friends in the industry. Parallel construction Be Consistent in Expressing Parallel Ideas. To achieve harmony and rhythm in your writing, present similar ideas in active similar manner. For example, in active series you would use developing, writing, and editing rather than developed, writing, and to edit. The first three words end in -ing they are parallel in form. In contrast, the next three words are not parallel (-ed, -ing, to + active verb). Parallel construction improves clarity and readability. Some incorrect and correct expressions of ideas are shown. Incorrect For relaxation, Mary likes to read, to sew, and watches TV, especially in the evenings. Common characteristics of successful people are: a. They are goal-oriented. b. They understand the importance of human relations. c. Willing to work hard. Correct For relaxation, Mary likes to read, to sew, and watch TV, especially in the evenings. Successful people are goal oriented, understand the importance of human relations, and are willing to work hard.

Fact-supported statements Dont Overstate Your Facts. Have you ever received this type of message? This rug cleaner is being offered at the lowest price ever just $8.95? You look at the price and realise that you bought the same cleaner two months ago at the same store for $6.95. This company loses its credibility with you. You no longer have confidence in what the company says. Try to avoid comparative words such as best, least, worst, lowest, biggest (called superlatives) unless you can furnish evidence to support your claim(s). use them with care. Incorrect These tires are the best on market. Correct According to Consumer Reports, XYZ tires are the best on the market.

Mary never seems to get here time.

Mary has been every day this week.

Sentences principles summarised In summary, follow these suggestions to create effective sentences: Use correct grammar. Use active mix of sentence types for variety; stress the use of simple sentences. Generally, write in active voice with action verbs. Avoid sexist and other discriminatory words. Be precise in word choice and word / phrase placement. Use repetition purposefully.

DEVELOPING PARAGRAPHS You have just reviewed how important word selection and sentence construction are for conveying your exact meaning. Some of the same characteristics that apply to writing sentences also apply to the development of paragraphs. Paragraph defined A paragraph is a group of related statements that form active unit. You develop strong paragraphs by first selecting active central idea and then adding other parts in an organised manner to complete your unit of thought. Careful planning and thinking are required. Paragraphing aids your reader in understanding the message by highlighting the separate units of thought and their relationships. Here is active chance for you to use your creativity and to demonstrate your unique style. Keep in mind that active paragraph is active part of active whole piece of writing just as words are part of active sentence. Paragraphs offer active chance for the eyes to rest and an opportunity to collect thoughts. You could write active one page message in one paragraph, but your reader would probably react negatively. In contrast, many one- and two-sentence paragraphs are so choppy that the communication would be hard to read. Use judgement in building each paragraph. Consider audience and objective Before you start to write, think about your audience and your overall objective. You are writing so that the reader will understand your thoughts. Therefore, visualise the reader and anticipate possible reactions. The basic characteristics to consider in developing effective paragraphs include the topic sentence, unity, substance, position, order, continuity, and emphasis. These basic concepts are interrelated and sometimes overlap.

TOPIC SENTENCE Topic sentence defined The topic sentence contains the central idea or theme of the paragraph. Use the other sentences in the paragraph to give substance to your main thought or add details. As you develop the paragraph, use the central idea as your gauge to avoid introducing irrelevant material. Revise or eliminate unrelated material. Topic sentence suggestions Ordinarily, the topic sentence appears first in active paragraph. You can, however, add variety to your writing with these three suggestions: Vary the position of the topic sentence within the paragraph at the beginning; at the end; in the middle. Imply the topic a well-constructed paragraph will lead the reader to sum up the central thought of the paragraph. Express the topic in active different form instead of active declarative sentence, use an interrogative (question) or other type of sentence.

Placement of topic sentence When presenting the topic idea, give priority to the audience and to the objective of your written message. Careful placement of the topic sentence and use of an expressed or implied form of the topic idea help you build strong paragraphs. Which of the following versions do you prefer? Why? Topic Sentence at Beginning of Paragraph Beginning Please write your social security number on the tear-off portion of this notice, sign on the line indicated, and mail it back to us at once. Since you receive interest on your insurance contract, a revised Federal Income Tax law requires that you send us your correct taxpayer identification number. If we dont have your correct taxpayer number, we will withhold tax at active 20 percent rate. In addition, a $50 penalty may be imposed by the Internal Revenue Service. Topic Sentence at End of Paragraph End Since you receive interest on your insurance contract, a revised Federal Income Tax law requires you to furnish us with your correct taxpayer identification number. Your security number is your taxpayer identification number. If you do not send us your correct taxpayer number, we will withhold tax at a 20 percent rate. In addition, you may be subject to a $50 penalty imposed by the Internal Revenue Service. Therefore, please write your social security number on the tear-off portion of this notice, sign on the line indicated, and mail it back to us at once.

Topic Sentence at Middle of Paragraph Middle Since you receive interest on your insurance contract, a revised Federal Income Tax law requires you to furnish us with your correct taxpayer identification number. Therefore, please write your social security number on the tear-off portion of this notice, sign on the line indicated, and mail it back to us at once. In addition, you may be subject to a $50 penalty that the Internal Revenue Service may impose. Topic Idea Implied: You Arent Being Admitted. Implied Thank you for applying for admission to State University. Each year more than 1,000 out-of-state residents apply to State University. Because of the high demand and limited spaces, we place active cut-off score of 30 on the ACT as an entrance requirement. Your ACT score was 27. You are to be congratulated on your ACT score, which indicates your potential success in college. Topic Idea in Beginning Question Have you mailed your first-quarter Sales Tax Return for 19__? We have not received your return. If you have not paid your sales tax, please pay immediately, using the enclosed envelope. If you have paid, please send copies of your of your cancelled check and the Sales Tax return form.

UNITY Unity defined Paragraph unity refers to the singleness of thought, purpose, or mood. Each sentence in a paragraph must relate to the central idea, or it is irrelevant. Irrelevant material confuses or irritates the reader. Test each paragraph for unity by reading and asking yourself: Does each idea refer to the topic thought? Weak example lacking unity Read and determine why following paragraph lacks unity (the sentences have been numbered for convenience): (1) As you probably know, new requirements, including preadmission certification, will go into effect for your Blue Cross / Blue Shield group insurance coverage on October 1. (2) The preadmission certification program also requires that you obtain a second opinion for the surgical procedure listed in Special Report No. 441-86 (3) The areas listed elsewhere are reviewed for location of services and the timing of the services to be provided.

(4) Exceptions to the hospital admission requirements are emergencies, maternity, psychiatric, alcoholism or drug abuse care, and out-of thecountry hospital stays. (5) Preadmission certification requires that hospital admission be approved or certified by Blue Cross / Blue Shield before the patient enters the hospital. (6) Emergency admissions must be certified within 24 hours following the admission or within one working day. Now compare your reasons with these comments about the lack of unity in the above paragraph. Note the action that could be taken for each sentence: Sentence analysis Sentence No. 1: (topic sentence) Introductory clause As you probably know, has no substance eliminate. Phrase on October 1 misplaced; place after go in effect. Place group insurance coverage after requirements. ACTION: Revise sentence. Sentence No. 2: Sentence does not refer to topic idea but introduces another topic, second opinion. Word also indicates that something else has to precede the sentence. ACTION: Transfer to another paragraph. Sentence No. 3: Sentence is lead-in for a listing. Sentence is confusing. ACTION: Transfer to another paragraph and revise for clarity. Sentence No. 4: Sentence is out of sequence. ACTION: Modify and place after Sentence No. 5. Sentence No. 5: Defines preadmission certification. Word patient seems distant; passive voice be approved. ACTION: Replace patient with you or your dependent. Place after Sentence No. 1. Change to active voice. Sentence No. 6: Idea is OK for last sentence in paragraph. ACTION: Add transitional word and. Place after modified Sentence No. 4. With these revisions, the modified paragraph posses unity. Good example with unity New requirements for your Blue Cross / Blue Shield group insurance coverage, including preaddmissions certification, wil go into effect on October 1. Preadmission certification requires that Blue Cross / Blue Shield approve or certify hospital admissions before you or your dependent enters the hospital except for emergencies, maternity, psychiatric, alcoholism or

drug abuse care, and out-of-the-country hospital stays. Emergency admissions must be certified within 24 hours following admission. SUBSTANCE Methods for paragraph development Once you decide on your topic thought, you need to present the related facts to communicate your ideas. Six frequently used methods for developing your central idea are definition, illustration / explication, reasoning, analogy, comparison / contrast, and reiteration. By definition When you develop an idea by definition, you include details and examples to help your reader understand various words/phrases. You anticipate the readers reaction: What do you mean by this? By illustration / explication Development by illustration / explication uses evidence / proof through examples or instances. Examples that are familiar to your reader will be more potent that unfamiliar ones. Think of your reader; then select illustrations that present clear and concrete ideas. By reasoning Development by reasoning presents evidence to convince or persuade a reader to accept your point of view. This method is especially useful in sales and goodwill messages and may require more length, depending on the situation. By analogy Development by analogy is a process that leas the reader from something known (the static electricity that builds up in a sweater, for instance) to something unknown (a similar kind of static electricity in lightning). Analogies help readers use what they already know to discover something they dont know. By comparison / contrast Development by comparison / contrast involves opposing or contrasting ideas to communicate your meanings. Advantages and disadvantages are sometimes helpful. By reiteration Development by reiteration uses repetition of an idea, word, or phrase a company name, for example. Planned repetition gives emphasis and can create a favourable image. Any one or a combination of the six methods can help you develop effective paragraphs. First, consider your purpose and your reader; then select appropriate techniques to achieve your objective. Practice using each of these methods so that you can write effectively no matter what the situation. These samples show substance can be developed. Definition

The following typing rate standards are based on recent Keyboard Productivity Research Project in our offices. Expect speeds of 188 to 204 net lines per hour (LPH) on origination (first-time) typing of narrative material. The term net lines refers to the total number of lines typed minus a deduction of one line for each line containing an error. Therefore, consider a speed of 188 LPH the minimum acceptable typing speed for narrative material. Illustration Compare the turnaround time for work tasks with the real needs of the organisation rather than with personal preferences. If turnaround time is a problem, examine the scope of the problem to identify potential solutions. For example, if turnaround time is acceptable for 90 percent of the work, the problem is within the remaining 10 percent. The problem may be due simply to the lack of a system for identifying and handling priority work. Instituting procedures for assigning priorities to the work tasks could resolve this problem. Reasoning (Ex. 1) Now you dont have to change the way you dial your phone calls to get lower rates on long distance. MCI one of the fastest growing long-distance companies in the U.S. now offers you a vastly improved long-distance phone service. MCI handles more than four million long-distance calls each day for satisfied customers. And we are doing this with the cooperation of your local phone company. Reasoning (Ex. 2) To start your savings, simply sign and return the enclosed Authorisation Card instructing your local phone company to connect you to MCIs Long Distance Continental United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and save from 5 percent to 35 percent over your present cost. And you can even qualify for quantity discounts. Analogy Computer scientists now realise the way to more number-crunching power is to clump lots of tiny computer chips into one big system. Attempts to do this, though, often fall short because of the soldier-teller syndrome. When the processors act too much like soldiers, they unite easily to attack common problems but arent good at independent thinking. Like bank clerks, teller chips can do separate tasks simultaneously but stumble when they need to work together. 4 Comparison contrast A financial forecast is the expected financial position, results of operations, and change in financial position of the company. Its what management expects, and change in financial position of the company. Different from a financial forecast is a financial projection, which includes one or more hypothetical situations and is the companys expectations of results given an assumption that may not occur. The distinction between these two types of forecast is fairly important since one, the forecast, denotes managements expected financial results and the other, the projection, denotes managements financial only if some unexpected event or decision occurs. In effect, a financial projection is a what it? type of situation and is not expected to occur. 5
4

Transputer Chips: Linchpins of a Mighty Supercomputer, Business Week, no. 2942, April 21, 1986, p. 47.

Reiteration Heres some good news for the new year! Youve been approved for a MasterCard with a $2,500 credit line from Central Bank. You can use your MasterCard to consolidate your holiday bills or take it shopping for those great January bargains. Either way, your Central MasterCard with its outstanding benefits is yours for the asking. POSITION Emphasise ideas through placement Position of your ideas plays an important part in writing effective paragraphs. Place your major ideas first or last to achieve emphasis. First and last impressions are important. Use de middle sections to develop or support your main idea(s) or to deemphasise them. Purpose of opening paragraph Paragraphs have different purposes depending on their location within a piece of writing opening, closing, or middle. The opening paragraph performs a dual purpose to get the subject under way and get the interest of the reader. The nature of the communication determines the attention-getting technique. Look at this weak excerpt from a publishers sales letter: Remember the promise you made to yourself years ago? You remember, dont you? This example does get the interest of the reader but falls to get the subject under way. What promise? Questions are used sometimes to get the readers interest. This rewrite is better since it fulfils the dual purpose. Weak example Remember the promise you made to yourself to lose weight? You remember, dont you? Here is a second example that also fulfils the dual purpose. Good example Good news for the New Year! You have a VISA credit card with a $3,000 credit line reserved for you at the State Bank. Thats $3,000 to use any way you want and at the time you need it most. Purpose of closing paragraph The closing paragraph performs two functions brings the message to an end and gives a final emphasis. This paragraph should give your reader a sense of having reached the end. As you complete your message, answer this question: What final
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Alex B. Cameron, CPA Savvy, Management World 14, no. 7 (July/August 1985). pp. 40-41

thought do I want the reader to have? Does this closing paragraph (from the State Bank letter above) accomplish these two objectives? Act now! Sign the enclosed Acceptance Certificate and start the New Year with a $500 cash reserve. Weak example Since this letter was sent at the beginning of a new year, the opening reference to the new year provides consistency. Now contrast the action-oriented paragraph about the Visa Card with this weak example from a letter answering a request for information about a product: I hope this answers your questions. If I can be of any further assistance, please feel free to contact me at any time. You probably stopped reading in the middle of the first sentence since you knew what the rest of the paragraph said. This closing paragraph falls into the trap of showing doubt (Illustration hope) and closes with an insincere, conventional sentence words that have little or no meaning. Purpose of middle paragraph Middle paragraphs perform various functions. They may state a condition, provide an illustration, or provide a transition from one part to another.

ORDER Order defined Types of order Very closely related to position is the characteristic of order. In business writing, order refers to the sequencing of the ideas / sentences to give reading a forward movement. Each part of the paragraph should help move the reader from beginning to end. Four common arrangements include: Chronological. Geographical / spatial. Logical. Psychological. Chronological order Chronological order arranges the ideas in terms of time from beginning to end. This arrangement is especially good for narratives, descriptions, and procedures. Geographical / spatial Geographical / spatial order presents the ideas in relation to some geographical point or space relationship. It may be from here to there or there to here, from left to right or front to back, or some other useful arrangement suggested by the data.

Logical Logical order refers to the arrangement of items from whole to parts or parts to whole. The whole-to-parts order is called direct; and the parts-to-whole, indirect. The specific-to-general or general-to-specific is arrangement variation of this order. Direct approach In the direct approach, state arrangement generalisation first; then offer statements with supporting details. Indirect approach With the indirect approach, give the details first; then finish with arrangement generalisation. In a list of items, you can use an alphabetical or numerical sequence, or other logical arrangements. For instance, if you report the scores of the baseball teams for the American League, you might arrange the lead-in sentence and listing as follows: The scores for the American League baseball teams for April 20 were: Chicago Detroit New York Oakland Seattle Texas Toronto 6, Cleveland 5, Baltimore 15, Boston 5, Minnesota 7, Milwaukee 6, California 8, Kansas City 2 3 2 1 0 3 5

Note that the winning team is placed first in each row; winning teams are arranged alphabetically as you move down the list. This is the arrangement you see in the newspaper. If you were to view the same scores on TV, you probably would see the information presented in the following manner: New York Boston Baltimore Detroit Cleveland Chicago Seattle Milwaukee 15 2 3 5 2 6 7 0 Kansas City Toronto California Texas Minnesota Oakland 5 8 3 6 1 5

Why the different arrangement? Is the order numerical? Alphabetical? Typically, scores are reported on TV with the home team listed first. Also, there isnt an alphabetical sequence as you move down the listing. Usually, the lists are already prepared perhaps in the order of the game time; then the scores are inserted later. So you can see that paragraphs and ideas can be arranged to achieve a specific goal. Just be sure that your reader / listener understands your arrangement.

Psychological The psychological order uses an arrangement that is especially appropriate when you want to convince your reader. When you use a cause-effect approach or the known-to-unknown approach, you are using the psychological order. You develop your ideas and then present the main conclusion or point of view. In this sense, this order is similar to the indirect approach, however, you decide on the order that best achieves your purpose. The psychological order is especially helpful when you expect the reader may react negatively to the message. Giving reasons for the action can soften the negative impact. This arrangement is also useful in persuasive writing. Order examples Effective arrangements of your ideas demonstrates to your readers that you are logical and concerned for them. Logical structures help to lead your reader through the material. Consider these examples of order: Chronological Current employment indicates a continued concern for our economic status. In February, the unemployment rate jumped six-tenths of a percentage point to 7.2 percent; in March it fell to 7.1 percent. However, this leaves the jobless rate higher than it was last November and December. Geographical The 1986 regional unit sales for the Exhilor Corporation are New England, 105,000; Middle Atlantic, 208,000; South, 135,000; Southwest, 50,000; Midwest 150,000; Rocky Mountains, 46,000; and the Far West, 75,000. Indirect / logical The February employment losses in the oil and gas industries brought overall mining employment to its lowest figure in the past five years. Even though these types of jobs account for less than 1 percent of total nonfarm employment, jobs in the oil and gas sectors fell by 24,000 in February; this was in addition to a 17,800 drop in January. Direct / logical Job losses in the oil and gas industries fell by 17,800 in January and 24,000 in February. Even though these type jobs account for less than 1 percent of total nonfarm employment, these job losses have been a significant drain on February employment. This continued downward trend has brought overall mining employment to its lowest figure in the past five years. Psychological Have you ever wondered, as I have, what makes the difference in peoples lives? It isnt a native intelligence or talent or dedication. It isnt that one person wants success and others dont. The difference lies in what each person knows and how she or he makes use of that knowledge. You can gain that difference over others by reading the Executive Digest. That is the whole purpose of the Digest: to give you essential knowledge that you can use in business.

CONTINUITY Continuity defined Continuity refers to the natural progression of ideas from start to finish. Tie ideas together in a logical manner. Continuity can be achieved by two general ways: Use of transitional expressions. Repetition of words / ideas or structure. Using transitional words or phrases Transitional words or phrases are useful in leading the reader smoothly from one idea to the next. They can also provide connections between paragraphs. A partial list of transitional words and phrases includes: however in addition to therefore on the other hand thus for example moreover reasons one two three because as a result second in contrast Effective writing through repetition Repetition of words / ideas or structure refers to repeating selected words / ideas consciously for an effect. A repeated phrase, sentence, or paragraph structure can also help move the reader through your message. Note in this example the effective repetition in both words and structure. Example Dear Customer: Here is something FREE from your Bell Company. FREE connections for Custom Calling Services so you can enjoy your telephone like never before! Youll get Caps NEW CONVENIENCE by calling urgent calls just by touching one number on your phone. We call that Speed Calling, and you can have it connected Repeated structure FREE. Indention NEW EFFICIENCY by getting a call from a friend while youre on the phone with someone else. We call that Call Waiting, and you can have it connected FREE. NEW COMMUNICATIONS by transferring all calls to a friends house when youre visiting. We call that Call Forwarding, and you can have it connected FREE.

EMPHASIS Emphasis defined Emphasis is achieved by using techniques for stressing selected ideas. If you are speaking, for example, you may pause, use gestures, or increase your voice volume to create emphasis. In your writing, you need to use such mechanical aids as position, underscoring, caps, paragraphing, or italics. Refer to the Dear Customer letter for these techniques. Emphasise important facts or ideas so that the reader can get the meaning of your message.

WRITING ANALYSIS Analysing writing using a microcomputer To strengthen your writing, you can now analyse your messages with the aid of microcomputer software. One such software is RightWriter (registered trademark of Decisionware Corporation). After storing your message on a microcomputer disk, you can analyse the contents for areas of improvement. With RightWriter, you get a message printout with comments inserted about grammar, style, usage, and punctuation. Look at Figure 5.4. Types of analyses In addition to the message printout with comments, a summary report provides overall message analyses / recommendations including a: Readability index (reading grade level). Strength index (suggestions for improving message). Descriptive index (use of adjectives and adverbs). Jargon index (jargon and buzz words). Sentence structure analysis (recommendation for change). Uncommon word list (list of slang, uncommon, and misspelled words). Word frequency list (alphabetical list of all words and frequency of each). Look at Figure 5.5, which shows the summary for the entire message. This method is a vast improvement over manual means of determining readability of text material used in the past. In addition to readability, this easy-to-use tool provides a detailed analysis of the message content. One word of caution: use judgement when making changes in your writing. If everything is changed according to the analysis, your writing can become too structured, making the reading dull, rote and uninteresting.