This book is dedicated to my daughter, Kelly, in hopes that she can be as happy with the man of her dreams,

her husband, Dan, as I have been with her Dad.

As Kelly has set out on each new journey of her life, I have held my breath and wondered, Have I adequately prepared her? As she walks the path of matrimony, I am experiencing the same anguish. In this book, I have compiled some small bits of wisdom acquired throughout my thirty years of marriage to her Dad. I pass them on with love because they have worked so beautifully for us. I can only wish her and Dan the same blessing of everlasting love and commitment.

lways kiss him goodnight.

Although you work hard and get justifiably tired, remember your life together is actually what you are working for. Kissing him should be a pleasure not a chore.

e respectful and kind to him

and his family. They will all play a very important role in your marriage. You love him and he loves them. Thank his mother for raising such a wonderful young man.

hoose him. When torn by

indecision about whose side to take or with whom to spend your precious time, choose him.

ont put yourself down.

Remember, youre talking about his wife. Others learn how to treat us by our example. If you disrespect yourself, he could end up agreeing with you someday.

xpect all that you deserve.

Keep your expectations for him and your marriage high. Make sure he understands what your values and boundaries are and then live by them yourself.

ight for him and your

marriage. Be soft and kind when you can, but become a tigress when it comes to your man. Let nothing or no one come between you.

ive in sometimes; learn to

choose your battles. Opt for happiness over righteousness. It is not a sign of weakness to initiate the first move toward reconciliation; it actually shows great strength and maturity.

old his hand, touch him,

kiss him. Let him know that he means everything to you. Without extreme public displays of affection, let the world know too.

nitiate intimacy. Show him

that you want him and are not just giving in to his desires. Make him feel irresistible.

ust be yourself. Remember,

he chose you because he loves you just the way you are. Be the person he believes you to be.

eep your love alive. Go on

dates; spend quiet evenings at home, just the two of you. Set aside some time every day just to be together. Never forget why you married him.

isten to him. Hear his

hopes and dreams as well as his worries and disappointments. Let him know that you are there to share the good times and the bad. Help him achieve his goals, but give him a soft place to land when he doesnt.

ake him feel like a man.

Dont belittle him in front of his friends. Actually, dont belittle him at all. Make him glad he married you and make everyone else envy what hes found a friend, lover, confidante and partner all rolled into one.

ip your problems in the

bud. When something bothers you, tell him. Encourage him to do the same. Dont let things build up until the damage becomes irreparable.

ffer your smile when hes

sad and your shoulder to cry on. Offer your hand when hes in need or simply just because. But above all, offer your heart every minute of every day.

oint out inappropriate or

unacceptable behavior. Its easy to become complacent when in a comfortable relationship. If you recognize a pattern that could be detrimental to your marriage, speak up. Sometimes we all need little reminders. Be prepared for him to do the same.

uell his fears. Show your

strength when he is feeling weak or overwhelmed. Allow him to lean on you as you lean on him. Help him carry the load of everyday life.

espect him as both your

husband and an individual. Let him know his opinions matter. Trust him and be worthy of his trust.

leep in the nude. This will

practically guarantee that each and every day there will be some sort of intimacy between the two of you. It may only be a quick, gentle touch in the morning, but your memory will linger in his mind throughout the day.

ell him you love him first.

While I love you, too is always nice to hear, it can sometimes sound like an automatic response. Say it first because you feel it; say it because you mean it.

nderstand that although

you are alike in many ways, you are also different. First and foremost, he is a man and you are a woman. Obviously, thats what brought you together in the first place. Dont expect him to think like a woman any more than you think like a man. You wont always see eye to eye, but thats okay. Love each other not necessarily because of your differences, but in spite of them.

ow to keep your vows. You

promised before God, your family and friends to be a loving, faithful wife. Keep your promises.

alk beside him both

literally and figuratively. Be an equal partner in this relationship. Get involved, take on responsibilities; know whats going on in your household.

amine your behavior and

attitude regularly. Ask yourself, Am I taking him for granted? Am I showing him what he means to me? Am I being the best wife I can be? Answer yourself honestly and then react accordingly.

ouve brought God into your

marriage, now keep Him there. Thank Him daily for your many blessings.

ip it, yes, zip it. Dont rant,

and rave incessantly. Not only will it annoy him, but it is very unproductive. The fact that he does not do exactly what you want is not because he cant hear you, its because he doesnt always agree with you. Yelling wont change that. Tell him rationally whats bothering you and work together toward a compromise and solution.

About the Author Tina Schoff Lincoln was born in Maine and raised on a small farm in the southern part of the state. Throughout her life, her love of children has been a constant. She has raised two beautiful daughters, Katie and Kelly, with her childhood sweetheart, her husband, Steve. After the birth of their first child in 1982, Tina operated a home-based daycare aptly named Lotsa Love. After fifteen years, she retired from the daycare business and opened a small neighborhood ice cream shop. Each year Tina hires local teens, some of whom were once small children in her care. In the fall and winter months, Tina fulfills her desire to be surrounded by children by substitute teaching in the local school district.