WE'RE ALL JUST STUCK IN THE MIDDLE By Dale Short "Clowns to the left of me / Jokers to the right; / Here

I am / Stuck in the middle with you..." I'm so old I remember when those were the words of a cool song on the ra dio, not a description of our nation's lawmaking process. I also remember when Ernest Hemingway was striding the earth, and gave t his wise advice to anybody who would listen: "The most essential gift a writer c an possess is a built-in, shockproof bull [manure] detector." That kind of equipment has apparently fallen out of favor among the jour nalists writing about the recent Debt Ceiling Debacle. The ones I've seen report ing on the meltdown all repeat verbatim what some legislator or press aide has t old them, with an air of great seriousness ("gravitas," I believe it's called in the trade) and wide-eyed belief as if the information (a) makes sense, and (b) jibes with what we know of recent history, when neither is the case. As an example, we get sound bites from so many wrinkled, angry-looking w hite guys in suits that we can't tell them apart any more, and all carry the sam e scolding message: "Debt is a terrible, shameful thing. Our country has to live within its budget, just like ordinary American families do!" To which anybody with even the sketchiest knowledge of our recent histor y (such as myself) would reply, "Since when?" Lawmakers and presidents have generally been on a spending spree for dec ades now, not counting a brief interlude when a much-reviled president whose ini tials are William Jefferson Clinton not only got the U.S. economy out of the red financially but actually built up a comfortable surplus to boot. Good times. Obviously this was a crazy and un-American concept, so for his trouble h e was summarily replaced by someone of the GOP persuasion so that we could retur n our country to sanity. Since then, those in power have assured us that big spending was not onl y their right and duty, but was actually essential to our economic well-being. President Bush famously told supporters at a high-dollar fund-raising di nner--folks whose corporate nests he had feathered through government subsidies and other policies--that he felt at home there among his political base: "the ha ves, and the have-mores." Vice-president Cheney often told reporters who asked about huge federal spending that their fears were groundless, because "Reagan proved that deficits don't matter." Next question. But all those decades of economic wisdom were mysteriously reversed in J anuary of 2008. Spending: bad. Stinginess: good. Get with the program, OK? (If I were a cynic, I would point out that all the rules changed at exac tly the time the president's skin color did. Good thing I'm not a cynic.) Our leaders used to tell us that America was "a shining city upon a hill ," and our national symbol invited other countries to "give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." How the mighty have fallen. Now our leaders are telling us that our nati onal symbol should be Ma and Pa Kettle from the old comic strip, pinching their pennies in order to keep beans on the table. And not look back. This, while the billionaires who ransacked our economy enjoy their retir ement in untaxed offshore mansions. If I were a political scientist I could explain in detail just how wrong and shameful this all is, maybe even throw in a couple of non-scholarly metapho rs that are not appropriate for a family publication. As it is, though, I'm just an old newspaper guy with a chip on his shoul der. Stuck in the middle. With y'all. # # #

(Dale Short is a native of Walker County. His columns, books, public radio featu res, and photographs are available on his website, carrolldaleshort.com, and his weekly radio show "Music from Home" airs on Sundays at 6 pm on Oldies 101.5 FM. For information about his writing workshop series at Woni's Bookshelf in Sumito n, phone the shop at 648-6161.)