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winword- womb- hilton1

CAUSES OF SEXUAL CONFLICTSEFFECTS ON BEHAVIOUR


[Open communication at the VII Panhellenic Congress of Neurologists and Psychiatrists, Athens 1975]

Since 1950, LSD, in minute doses, has been used as a helpful means of Psychotherapy as this psychedelic drug increases the dimensions of consciousness of every-day life. The capacity of self-observation, introspection and self-criticism expands remarkably and makes it possible to lead to Autopsychognosia. The pharmacodynamic properties of the psychedelic drugs encourages us to use them with 49 neurotic and 4 "normal" persons. The present communique is concerned with the self-observation of 16 neurotics, suffering mainly from sexual conflicts. Thirteen of the patients, nine women and four men, aged between 21 and 33, were treated at the Greek Hospital of Cairo from October l960 - 1970 with 50-100 micrograms of LSD. The three remaining patients, 2 women and 1 man, aged 23 and 28, were treated at the Psychiatric Institutions of Nicosia from December 1970 to March 1972 with 3-9 milligrams of Psilocybine Sandoz. (Special permission granted by the Ministry of Health of the Cypriot Government). During the Autopsychognosia sessions, the 16 patients relived their foetal life and various psychologically traumatic events which occurred during and after their birth. Their subjective conclusions, based on emotional and intellectual realizations, are summarised as follows:

a. Not only their sexual behaviour but their behaviour as a whole was mobilized by the unconscious recollection of the conditions of their intra-uterine life which left indelible traces on their nervous system. b. The orgasm during the sexual act symbolised the return to the uterus for all the 16 patients. c. The various kinds of psychological traumas before, during and after birth combined and formed a compact system which mobilized the patients in a stereotyped fashion in their daily life. CONDITIONS OF FOETAL LIFE The conditions of foetal life were not alike for the 16 patients and accordingly, we have classified them into 4 categories: a. "The fully welcome" i.e. those whose existence within the womb was fully welcomed by the mother. b. "The totally undesirable" i.e. those whose existence within the womb was totally undesired by the mother. c. "The undesirable as regards sex" i.e. those whose existence as such within the womb was welcomed but whose sex was not. The mother wanted the foetus in her womb, but wished it to be of the opposite sex to what it actually was. d. "Those who were welcomed but who suffered periodic shock" i.e. those whose existence as a foetus and whose sex were welcomed but who suffered shock due to sudden disturbances in the pregnant mother's emotional state. THE FULLY WELCOME During the Autopsychognosia sessions, 3 of the patients, 2 women and l man, aged between 24 and 33 felt their bodies gradually decreasing in size and finally assuming the proportions and pose of the foetus within the womb. A feeling of oceanic serenity filled their whole being. Continuing they relived the cruel trial of their birth and the terrifying fear caused by their first contact with the external environment which they perceived as deadly dangerous. Ousted from the intra-uterine paradise, feeling defenceless and abandoned, they were dominated by the desire to return to that ideal secure place from

which they had been unwillingly expelled. The inability to satisfy this desire provoked simultaneously two opposing and powerful feelings: a) A feeling of rejection. They regarded the expulsion from the womb as rejection by the mother. The preservation of this bitter recollection, combining with a feeling of hostility towards this unjust situation, manifested itself there after in covert or overt aggression. The slightest event could reactivate the rejection, something which occurred frequently in every-day life. b) Absolute fixation to the mother as she symbolized the ideal security she had provided them during foetal life. Her presence on their infantile and childhood horizon was crucial. Just as she had protected them in her womb from the dangers of the external environment, so she would protect them from the present dangers by taking them in her arms. They wanted her continuously by them and to be exclusively theirs, her attention to be concentrated on them alone. Various persons in the environment i.e. father, siblings, friends, who occupied the mother and absorbed her attention became objects of hatred. For the two female patients of this category, the father symbolised the means of returning to the womb and thus their interest was transposed from the mother to him. For the male patient of this category, the father constituted enemy number one. He conquered the mother dictatorially whenever he wished. This symbolized for the patient the loss of the place of total security. The presence of the odious father was always perceptible, even if he were thousands of miles away from the patient. Any event whatever during their life which caused rejectioninsecurity, reactivated in chain-like sequence: The expulsion-rejection from the womb. The agonizing insecurity of the first contact with the dangerous external environment. The first wish to return to the uterus. Depending on the intensity of this chain-like reactions the behaviour which characterized them mobilized by covert or overt aggression, neurotic phenomena and/or the desire for the sexual act. THE TOTALLY UNDESIRABLE

The reliving of the intra-uterine life by the totally undesirable foetus during the Autopsychognosia sessions is the most dramatic and tragic scene we have witnessed in our professional career. The anxiety, the anguish, the patients' terror, their bodies racked by periodical painful convulsive movements, all these are literally indescribable. Two female patients, aged 22 and 23, relived the intra-uterine rejection by their mother. Their expulsion from the womb passed almost unnoticed because she could wound them no more. During their infancy they were sickly. In their early childhood they were frequently overwhelmed by a feeling of chaotic anxiety. Alienated from their mothers and the external environment, they felt that they belonged nowhere. Their contact with other people aroused only terror and shame. They doubted everything around them. Their body was not theirs. They felt incompetent to undertake any responsibility because the failure of their attempts was a foregone certainty. Everything and everyone rejected them. Their fate had been predetermined from the moment their mother didn't want them in her womb. The rejection was perceived by the patients as the irrevocable decision of a superpower which dominated their mind and body and deprived them permanently of the right to exist. Thus, they had no identity, no will of their own, no desires of their own, their body was not their own. The attempt to express exactly what they felt was futile... they used confused symbolism to describe the most changeable feelings. Both female patients completely rejected the sexual act as something disgusting and dangerous.

THE UNDESIRABLE AS REGARDS SEX Seven female and three male neurotics, aged between 21 and 28, relived the undesirable painful conditions of intra-uterine life caused by the mother's rejection of their sex i.e. the male foetus or the female foetus felt that the mother wanted them to be different to what they were, with the result that they were dominated by agonizing fear, not only through the pregnancy but also through their post-natal life. This wish of the mother's womb was perceived by the foetus as the command of a superpower which he was obliged to obey blindly. Only thus would be ensured her protection. In having the opposite sex to that which the superpower commanded, the fate of this post-natal life had been predetermined. He was obliged to deny his sex for two basic reasons:(a) This was what the superpower demanded, and (b) The orgasm during the sexual act symbolized the return tothe womb i.e. the reliving of the intra-uterine hell. The outcome of all these conflicts was that they felt their bodies rotten, unnatural, monstrous and not dominated by them. A perplexing aggression characterized their feelings and behaviour in their every-day life. Those who where welcome but who suffered periodic shock due to sudden disturbances in the emotional condition of the pregnant mother e.g. mental stress resulting from discord with the husband or other persons in the environment, sudden unpleasant news, etc. The only patient of this category, male, 28 years old relived the conditions of his intra-uterine life. It is worth noting that the feeling of oceanic serenity was periodically interrupted by painful spasms throughout the whole body. In speaking to the patient's mother, we were informed that during her pregnancy she underwent great mental conflicts with her entourage causing her nervous tension and hysterical fits. B. THE SYMBOLIC MEANING OF THE ORGASM For all the 16 patients, the sexual activity which terminated in the orgasm, symbolized the practical means or returning to the uterus. During his youth sessions of Autopsychognosia, the "welcome" male patient, aged 33, realized that his sexual activity symbolized the

practical means of satisfying the unconscious but inextinguishable desire to return to the ideal and secure intra-uterine environment. Specifically, the patient emphasized: a) The ejaculation into a mother substitute during sexual activity symbolized the return to the womb. Certain cells of the body, spermatozoa, entered the womb. b) If the external conditions created feelings of rejection-insecurity, instantly were reactivated: The expulsion-rejection from the womb. The insecurity of the contact with the external environment. The desire to return to the womb which aroused the desire for sexual activity. The emotional symbolism of sex made him feel that if he lost his sexual capacity, all in life would be lost. Impotence meant loosing the possibility of taking refuge in the secure intra-uterine environment which, having once protected him from the dangers of the external environment, would safeguard him from any new danger. He realized that the authoritarian behaviour of his mother and her rejection of sex had castrated him psychologically. And the mere idea that he would have sexual contact with a female mother substitute was sufficient to reactivate the terror of castration and to render him impotent. Of this he had painful experience. Each attempt at the heterosexual act terminated not only in the terror of castration but in the ridicule of his manhood. Thus, he denied women. The hostile environment, however, was ever present and continued to reactivate within him insecurity and sexual desire. There was no other choice but to turn to homosexuality. The male sexual companion, simply in not being a woman, could not castrate the patient. The two female patients of the "fully welcome" category, realized emotionally that during their pregnancy they identified not only with their mother, but also with the foetus inside their womb, i.e. they were themselves within their mother's womb. Both patients added that the orgasm was a state of the uterus closely resembling (for few seconds) that of the pregnant uterus and that the same double identification took place during their orgasm. The two women under the category of the "totally undesirable" rejected all sexual activity. They regarded the sexual act as something disgusting and terrifyingly dangerous. During the Autopsychognosia sessions they realized that the sexual act could lead them back to the

womb i.e. to the hell of the intra-uterine rejection. The return to the conditions of intra-uterine life was emotionally unthinkable. For those who were "undesired because of their sex", sex was a constant source of conflict. Without sexual identity they felt revulsion towards the sexual act because, as they realized through autopsychognosia, this would lead them to the agonizing intra-uterine environment. The patient in the category "welcome but suffered shock through the emotional stress of the pregnant mother" realized that the heterosexual act which culminated in the orgasm reactivated his painful intrauterine experience and the means by which he avoided this were: Either by becoming impotent -something which happened often- or by having sexual contacts with whores i.e. with women who did not constitute a mother substitute, or by humiliating his female sex companion during the act with vulgarities and orgies so that she ceased to be a mother substitute, or by conjuring up fantasies of homosexual content while penetrating the prostrate woman, or by having homosexual contact. PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMAS AFTER BIRTH If the conditions of the external environment at any given moment provoked feelings of rejection-insecurity, instantly the terror of expulsion from the womb (for the "welcome") or the intra-uterine rejection (for the "undesirables") was reactivated. The first psychologically traumatic conditions after birth were created by the behaviour of the mother and/or the father. In post-natal life, through the mechanism of identification and projection. The various persons in the environment at any given moment synthesized with the emotional image of the mother and/or father, the former symbolizing the latter and thus arousing in the patients the same reaction which the parents aroused. Thus, everyday life from the emotional point of view was a stereotyped repetition of the past. DISCUSSION

Nature endowed all living beings with fear to keep them from exposure to extreme dangers. Without fear all living beings would have disappeared from the face of the earth. Fear is transmitted through heredity. If these three syllogisms form objective truth, we are obliged to accept that fear is not a metaphysical phenomenon, but a result of the functioning of the nervous system. The hypothesis that fear is a result of the functioning of definite circuit of the nervous of the D-Diencephalon and R-Rhinencephalon must be proved experimentally. Taking this hypothesis as an axiom, we accept that the human nervous system is equipped with a circuit of neurones of fear. Also the question is asked: "Has the circuit of neurones of fear the ability to function during birth and the foetal life?" The answer to the question would constitute the answer to another question: "Did the subjective conclusions of our 16 patients correspond to reality or not?" We had the opportunity of speaking to the mothers of all the 16 patients. All confirmed the realizations of their children with respect to the "welcoming" or "undesirability" of their presence or of their sex during pregnancy. We do not overestimate the confirmation of the mothers or the satisfactory improvement in the sexual behaviour of the 14 of the 16 patients after Autopsychognosia sessions. We believe, however, that our cases form experimental clinical data which must be studied on a large scale without bias. Until our data is proved, right or wrong, it would be wise if, before assuming parenthood, women and men were aware that the psychological health of their children most probably depends to a large extent on whether the mother welcomes the foetus in her womb from the first moment without wanting a priori a particular sex. Another reasonable question: Why didn't the patients of colleagues of western countries, who underwent therapy with the same psychedelics, arrive at the same conclusion as our patients? To answer this question we must describe the process of the Autopsychognosia sessions: The latter revealed that all the psychological traumas before, during and after birth, form a synthesis. The reliving of any psychological trauma reactivates the fear of the intra-uterine life or the fear or the expulsion from the womb, i.e. the most unbearable experience of the patient's life which he refuses to

live through again. This refusal is the cause of the unconscious resistance of the patient to realize the content of his unconscious. It is worth noting that the reliving of any psychological trauma is preceded by a lengthy inexplicable (for the patient) anxiety whose intensity crescendoes to an unbearable point where the patient feels he is on the point of death: This point of the session is the most crucial. The Psychiatrist who attends the patient in his agony must encourage him not to neutralize the anxiety. If the patient, despite his terror, follows the exhortations of the doctor he finally reaches the emotional and mental interpretation of the cause of his anxiety. Here we must add yet another factor regarding fear. The social code cultivates in people and in the man particularly, the ethical obligation that he must not be afraid. Before leading to "the light", the Autopsychognosia sessions arouse much fear which the patients prefer to neutralize. This way, however, they deprive themselves of the knowledge. Despite the outcry against LSD, a few teams of Psychiatrists continue experimental research in all western countries with special governmental permission. This fact shows that LSD does not lack scientific interest. We are convinced that LSD has opened a new and hopeful road in Psychotherapy, Neurophysiology and Neurobiology.. There are indications that the pharmacodynamic activity of LSD is due to the reactivation of the memory, not only of the neurones, but also of matter from which the neurones are composed. The reactivation of the memory of matter which man preserves in his body leads him millions and millions of years back and creates in him levels of consciousness of matter for corresponding eras. The fantastic trips into the past with LSD have a material base. If research scientists can be freed from their conservative stance, if they can be liberated from their philosophical and social restraints and if they devote themselves whole-heartedly to research, they will learn much about scientific truth with the aid of LSD.

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