MAMA TOLD ME...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

A SEEKER'S COLLECTED POEMS

Mama told me A SEEKERS COLLECTED POEMS written down by Milan ivkovi copyright Milan ivkovi, 1998. Belgrade, Serbia, ex-Yugoslavia izdava/publisher: Milan ivkovi tampa/printing: Veliki Medved, Beograd Prvo izdanje/first edition Beograd, 2010 tira/copies: 100 ISBN 978-86-84597-11-5

IFBSU!DPSF!JTTVFT!

A SEGMENT OF THE ROAD DESCRIBED

IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY BE! - a Russian proverb

______________ A segment of the Road Described is the translation of its original Serbian version which was written down in 1995-1996. This English translation was written down several months after the original, Serbian version.
4

1. THE INTRODUCTION 1. I think that I should start from the beginning: I paced along the ordinary routes, I lived a life resembling all the other lives a mixture made of joy and sorrow. 2. More or less, I lived like other people, there was nothing special to my life. There were days I passed in gloom and sorrow; also, there were days I spent in joy. 3. Almost all the people would consider their own lives to be at least a little special, in a way thats nothing strange; I must admit it also goes for me. 4. But how special is all that indeed thats a question; those are just some things common for us all; we are all striving for the ideals which attract us most. 5. Even when my own ideals used to surpass by far the ideals of others the results were often next to nothing I felt just like a victim of a hoax!

6. Carried like a leaf, out, in the wind, I behaved like all the other leaves; I neither searched for peace nor lasting joy, I only wished to fly on, with the wind. 7. As far as peace and joy are both concerned, I didnt even know whether they could be lasting, so I didnt ask for more I simply kept and cherished those I had. 8. And, like a flying leaf, I used to be so happy when I flew up in the sky; I didnt count those hours; yet I used to recall them when the wind should bring me low. 9. Those moments of joy I had encountered I was hiding in me like a miser there was nothing I could (then!) compare with the scenes of fragrant and serene, blue skies.

2. THE WEATHER IS GETTING WORSE! 10. By the time such scenes were getting rarer; the wind carries the leaf where the wind pleases. The memories of happiness were fading the more that I was rolling on the ground.
6

11. However true my most beautiful flights might have seemed at first, they would too often end with low and pitiable crashes my fate would always splash me like a pancake. 12. The more there were such crashes going on the more I longed for happiness, of course. My heart was parched, left burnt and dry and thirsty like the desert sand before the rain.

3. THE ATTEMPT TO UNDERSTAND 13. Then I noticed something rather odd (its not so odd as it had seemed at first): my search for happiness would be a failure whenever I tried to keep it with me. 14. Attaining thus my object of desire I would be pleased and satisfied, all right. Yet, the situation started changing, I was getting more and more afraid, 15. I hope that I wont lose such precious things that Ive obtained with so much toil and craving?! All I love and all thats dear to me is here today but where is it tomorrow?
7

16. Im unhappy while Im chasing joy, and then, Im happy when, at last, I catch it. But immediately I start worrying, hurrying to secure and keep it lasting. 17. Also when I reckon in advance that some particular thing will make me happy, when I get it, I find that its not so; all that makes me sad and disappointed. 18. I wondered, Is it just because of craving that I cant keep happiness at all? What is wrong with it? The whole world lives for craving! Should I cry because of it? 19. Wishes dont bring happiness that lasts, yet its the only lasting thing I want! I wondered, Is there anything on earth that has some deathless thing as its foundation? 20. Brooding over it I felt dejected, lamenting, Why, the only thing I want is to love and to be loved as well! I asked myself again, Whats wrong with me?

21. How come the other people simply bear it, making no commotion like I do? Where do they get the strength from not to want to slash their wrists because of petty things? 22. They live and die, get married and get children, not thinking what tomorrow brings along; is that sort of life in store for me?! Can anyone escape or hide from it?

4. THE DECISION 23. Im not going to be slave any more to the wind! Im neither leaves nor straw! (By then I still had not heard of the saying: Tomorrow will worry bout itself.)1) 24. I felt like I was in a tunnel, yet I was determined firmly to keep going, even if I had to search the whole world, whether I found happiness or not. 25. I said, Its time; Im leaving right away! I dont know where I go, nor wheres the goal, but I do know I have, at least, to try to find it, though I may search all my life!
9

_____________________ 1) The Bible, The New Testament, Matthew 6.34

5. THE STARTING PERIOD: DESPITE THE TROUBLES 26. Thus I walked along the gloomy tunnels, loitering around in utter darkness, having no success in finding any way to get myself out of the dungeon. 27. I felt lonesome to the very marrow, I didnt know at all what I should do since the distance seemed longer, not shorter! I was dying of the inner thirst. 28. But I clearly saw some things; that cheered me, Though the troubles pour on me like torrents, while I suffer in these dire conditions, yet I think they cannot even scratch me! 29. However hard my search for happiness might have seemed then, yet I got more strenth, It certainly cannot be by mere chance that I take all these blows so easily!

10

30. I saw that I fell to the very bottom, yet I saw I lived, I was existing! I thought, Why! had I known that its so simple I neednt have feared like I did before.

6. THE FIRST SIGNALS 31. And, at last, there, where it might have been the tunnels end, I saw the tracks of light. Its not so close, I judged by its effulgence, but its the right one Im heading for it! 32. I made my way towards the light directly, however, I soon stumbled and fell down, This tunnel is the same as hell! I burst out, these words were both an old and well-known fact. 33. Then I began to learn to use the little light that I could see and which could lead me. The light was glowing shyly in the distance, yet it was strong enough to help my striving. 34. Pretty soon I realized (or rather, lets say I felt) what the light is in fact: a friend that should be given most importance in my life, for it comes to my rescue.
11

7. OUT ON THE ROAD 35. Though I havent got out of the tunnel, into the open, where the way is clear, now at least I know the road awaits me, safe and clear, so I can gain more speed. 36. I say that the road awaits me, meaning the journey Im already on the road. Now I should only clear the road where needed and choose the route which suits me best thats all. 37. Its hard to go when we dont know the way; its simpler when we know it; but by far the simplest way to reach the goal we want is with the Light that guide us through the dark. 38. All around there are so many tunnels, theyre spread around me in a maze-like pattern. But only the clear Light in truth attracts me, the Lights the only thing that really matters. 39. How long my journey is supposed to last I neither know nor care about it. Look: its goal is Light, and in it the Pure Knowledge which cannot be found in any book.
12

8. TESTING THE LIGHT 40. Im becoming more and more convinced that actually the Light cannot be far. With some striving not neglecting patience! Ill overcome the troubles which may rise. 41. Even when the Light seems faraway I feel as if its shining from within me; I feel that I had to disclose this secret, though it may sound ludicrous and funny. 42. Its only after longer while that one sees that the road is not so hard for walking. Meanwhile many dont live up to see the truth of it the few complete the journey. 43. The surrounding tunnels lure the travellers, leading them astray since theyre so close. However, darkness is all they can offer dark happiness and, with it, dark joy. 44. But to them who know of nothing better dark happiness may seem quite sufficient; to them the Light appears as something trifling probably because its in the distance!

13

45. Many people worry very much; they think the Light is just a kind of bluff. They watch it from a distance, thinking that it is no good, since its not bright enough.

9. THE GOAL IS GETTING CLEARER 46. On the other hand, he who succeeds to recognize the Light as his own self wont care about the hardships of his climbing hell yearn to reach the Light and nothing else. 47. There is no motive stronger than this one: the union with ones self, its realization. I believe that people do agree with this view, but there may be exceptions. 48. I simply keep on climbing, getting higher; sharp rocks may give me sores yet I will make all their edges even and quite harmless; its easy as long as I have the faith. 49. The reason helps the faith to great extent where it is indispensable for real: the reason tells the faith whats bad or fake and the faith tells it what is pure and clear.

14

50. It is the faith that pulls me gently forward towards the Light, not letting me astray. It is the reason that sends me the warnings not to waste my time along the way. 51. I remember having read a poem which wisely says whats that which may prevent such a fall that takes man out of Eden its an iota of ones common sense.1)
________________ 1) Sri Chinmoy, My Constant Appeal to Gods Compassion-Heart, poem 11.

10. THE DIRECT APPROACH 52. There is a saying, very wise yet simple, I cannot live without that which I am.1) It is those words that help me persevere until I know for certain who I am. 53. I want to realize just God and soul., these are the words that Saint Augustin said, Is there any thing I want but that? Absolutely, there is nothing else.2)

15

54. I dont know if God or soul exist, I neither know if there is someone third. But at least I know there is I AM I AM cant be denied, its something sure. 55. Some try to find their soul, some search for God I wish them best of luck, its their own choice. I AM, yet I dont really know who says it; therefore I search for that I and its source. 56. And there will be no end to my enquiry until I realize my own self, my own I. I dont need a promise of a Heaven. No, I only want that which is mine. 57. Is there anything more natural than to grasp the meaning of ones own existence? Should I consider myself to be just an image, bearing that wretched condition?
__________________ 1) Sri Chinmoy, Everest-Aspiration, the essay Without Man and Without God 2) Saint Augustin, Soliloquiy, I,2.

16

11. A WOULD-BE REPROACH 58. But then again, I have no right to blame the people who dont care about the truth. I maybe write about the things I live, but actually theres plenty of such books. 59. The words of wisdom are available to all; however, just few people want them. Its a pity; only in the winter one recalls good chances from the summer. 60. The truth is easy to approach and get for all who seek it; that is very clear, yet one may waste his chances very soon, then find that its too late for many things.

12. AN ILLUSTRATION 61. Its sad such things should happen at that rate; why, let us see an instance that will show a Teacher whom all people know so well (or is it just His name that is well-known?).

17

62. When He came, He wasnt understood, and even now few understand Him well. To help us was the reason why He came, to save us from suffering and hell. 63. Though He said, I am the Life.1), and though He said that David himself called Him Lord2), they didnt understand; and nowadays our understanding is like that of old. 64. Can anyone destroy the Life Eternal? Can one crucify such thing at all? The Teacher is so rarely understood even if He speaks in simple words 65. He said, I and the Father are one.3) He is a body, not in it. they thought. Then He told them, I am with you always.4), after which he rose and left the earth. 66. Some were wondering if He was lying the Father is in Heaven; He below. They didnt understand where the truth was not grasping what to love the Father for.

18

67. Your Father is in Heaven, true; however, the Kingdom of Heaven is within you!5) These words will easily dispel all darkness only when one digs their deeper meaning. 68. For, if the Heaven is in us, the Son and the Father are in us, too, both as One, You ought to love your neighbour as yourself, but you ought to love God the most.6) 69. These commandments, which are called the greatest, are practised just by those who understand them. Who are those that understend them, then? The people who are drawn towards Hearts Wisdom. 70. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.7) the Bible says. But some will ask, What does it mean the pure in heart? We dont remember having been informed about! 71. The heart will become pure when one observes the instructions that the Teacher offers. And yet, they are of no avail to those who dont observe them or simply dont want them.
19

72. It is a person who just doesnt know how much good they give when theyre observed that doesnt want them; it is unaware, its seeking happiness in the wrong place. 73. In the place where your hearts gonna be there is also gonna be your treasure. Store it up in Heaven, not on earth.8) Well, it means the Hearts the home of Heaven! 74. I have said that you are gods.9) The Teacher told these words to all of us, to every human being; of course, these words mean only that God is one, but that He turned to many. 75. Your realization tells you that God you always have been.10) Very nice; if that is what they say then what should daunt us? Alls easy when I bear this truth in mind. 76. God created man in His own image.11) This simply means man as he is in truth must be one, immortal and eternal this is something no-one can refute.
________________ 1) John, 14.6. 20

2) Mark, 12.37. 3) John, 10.30. 4) Matthew, 28.20. 5) Luke, 17.21. 6) Matthew, 22.37-39. 7) Matthew, 5.8. 8) Matthew, 6.20-21. 9) John, 10.34. 10) Sri Chinmoy, Twenty-seven Thousand AspirationPlants, part I, poem 36. 11) The Bible, The Old Testament, Genesis, 1.27.

13. I AM THAT I AM AN ARGUMENT 77. We understand now I am that I AM.1), and why I AM is, too, the name of God: I AM, God, is here, within us, always I AM cannot be outside of us! 78. There is a mistake in one translation, where it stands, I am the One who is.2) Such a mistake is grevious and grave, for it takes I AM outside of me! 79. So if we say that Gods the One who is, thats an unnecessary repetition. Otherwise it sounds absurd and funny is there anyone whos non-existent?
21

80. Can one say, I am, but you are not.?!? Or is my own I AM outside of me? Such a theory is quite absurd, I AM abides in all; its now and here. 81. They say, God is eternal, omnipresent. Fine, it means infinity is God. Two infinities cant share the space, and that means that God is only one. 82. But there is something we see right away: what is this that we find everywhere, omnipresent? How could such thing be? How come one more infinity is there? 83. That infinity is the Existence, and I AM is its expression, folks! All the existence we know through I AM, which is the basis of all that we know. 84. I AM is not eternal!, some complain. I respond, Its true; it takes a second for the thought I am to come and go. Still, there is such I AM without a second.

22

85. I AM, the constant state of consciousness, is natural, with no thoughts, ever there. As soon as thoughts begin to swarm inside it they dim this Consciousness-thats-by-itself. 86. But they dim it only to the mind; as if a picture, falling on the screen, asked, How come the screen has disappeared? Now I hope that I did make it clear. 87. (Though the screen is ever standing still while the light is flashing, making pictures, the pictures are in fact all that we see, while the screen seems as if non-existent.)3) 88. God never deserts you; it is you who desert Him.4) Yes, its sad, I know; were constantly forgetting that WE ARE something thats most intimate to all. 89. Be yourself a shelter to yourself!5) said the noble Buddha to his friend. Just I AM-consciousness we know directly all the other facts are second hand.

23

______________________
1) Exodus,3.14. 2) the translation of The Old Testament into Serbian, by \uro Dani~i} 3) the example given by Ramana Maharshi (1879-1950) in his book Conscious Immortality 4) Saint Ephraim Syrian (403-476), from the book Abiding of the Boundless in the Heart 5) the words that Gautama Buddha said on his deathbed to his disciple Ananda

14. IF YOU ARE NOT AGAINST ME, YOU ARE, THEN, FOR ME. 90. Whoevers not against you is for you.1) the Teacher told us. Thus there is no reason to call the words of others crass or lies, to call them traitors and their acting treason. 91. Every saintly sage that came to us did it only to offer us Freedom. Were told that every good tree bears good fruit.2) It is by their fruit youll recognize them.3)

24

92. There is a fact that all the Scriptures claim (some entirely while some only partly): the soul cannot find happiness as long as it thinks its mortal, that its mind-and-body. 93. As long as ignorance covers the soul, as long as the soul thinks itself to be just a body, it wont escape suffering.4) say the words that the wise men revealed. 94. The words of wisdom that were told by Christ are quite like those of Krishna and the Buddha, for their vocation is in fact the same to enlighten and to lead us, humans. 95. Thats why Jesus said, I am the gate.5) The Buddha Krishna, too said that as well; such messages are the best, major proof that Their Consciousness springs from the same Well. 96. Do to others what you want them to do to you.6), the same I is in all! All the people in the world agree that one will only reap that what he sows.

25

97. The Teachers taught the one and the same virtue; a spiritual person sees it clearly. Even when their expressions differ greatly theres no essential difference in Their teachings. 98. The biggest problem lies in this: the masses consider Them to be mere human bodies; all the strife arises from that subject, it seems well never leave this starting point. 99. The fools deride me thinking Im a body.7) Its also said, You judge by human standards.8) These utterances use the different language, yet in their essence there is still no difference.
______________________ 1) Luke, 9.50. 2) Matthew, 7.17. 3) Matthew, 7.16. 4) Chandogya Upanishad 5) John, 10.9. 6) Matthew, 7.12 7) Bhagavad Gita 9.11., (the words of Krishna) 8) John, 8.15.

26

15. THE FREE CHOICE OF THE APPROACH 100. Whoever wants to study all the Scriptures, he may follow any such a system; every such a system has its value, its unique and, also, its sufficient. 101. Who wants universality he may follow any (but genuine!) credo; let him gather knowledge, like in school; its not a thing that one should be afraid of. 102. Each and every of the greatest systems is sufficient for a man who seeks the path towards the goal yet some of them may lack some things and thus be incomplete. 103. That is why its, often, very good to consult more than a single source to help us grasp the meaning of a vague and doubtful term that we may come across. 104. One may learn as well from just one book its simply easier to learn from many; all the Holy Books are truly great (I wonder why they make some feel uneasy?!).

27

105. Its the terms that create all the difference what are the names by which the things are called; what is what in England or in China well, Tao is the same thing as the road! 106. Should I, just because of different language, ignore a Chinese or some other race? Im sorry, but that goes against my nature; all the people may become my friends. 107. Israel is the East to Europeans it is from the East that Jesus came. But if He had been born more to the East, I dont know if it would have been the same 108. Its only when all see that there are no opposing views that some may feel ashamed, if theyre sincere. They even may stop searching (from that time on) for someone else to blame. 109. Sometimes one appreciates ones own more when he gets to know that from abroad, which helps him understand, appreciate his own far better; makes him know its worth.

28

110. After that the wise will thank the foreign; some of them may later turn around and leave it, with respect. Only a fool insults it, knowing not what its about.

16. THE PURPOSE OF WORDS 111. Why am I telling all these things to you? Why, there are some to whom theyll be of help. Those unexperienced will need instructions from those who walked the road and reached the end. 112. Philosophic or religious books serve just one purpose: to give inspiration to our mind to try to find the truth and to find itself realization. 113. All the Scriptures exist just for those who still cannot rely upon themselves to find the Truth; of course, it is all right the books will help them find it in the end. 114. Gnothi seauton!1), Atman vidhi!2), Know yourself! is what these sayings say. The language may be Greek, it may be Sanskrit or English, yet, it all comes to the same.
29

115. Receive the Word from which the whole world springs. It is the Teacher!3) First, it was the Word; the Word was with God and the Word was God.4) All that will be, that is and was is Om.5)
____________________ 1) this is written in the Apolos Temple in Delphi; also, it is one of the basics of Socrates teachings 2) the full form is Atmanam vidhi!; this is from the Vedas, Hindu Scriptures, which are the oldest known written records of human civilization. 3) Kabir (1450-1518), from the collection of his poems, translated into English by Rabindranath Tagore (the title varies: Songs of Kabir or A Hundred Poems of Kabir) 4) John, 1.1. 5) Mandukya Upanishad

17. NOW, SHOW US THE EVIDENCE! 116. What is seen is transient but that which isnt seen that will forever be.1) Yet the majority wont have it that way; they accept the obvious, the seen. 117. The man without the Spirit wont accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, he finds them foolish, he cant understand them, since they are spiritually discerned.2)
30

118. The spiritual man may judge all things but no man can judge him.3) says the Book. In the world, it has become a custom for people to deny that, this is true. 119. I want a proof, to see it! says the man who is being taught to the world of Spirit. In that case, the human mind should open and let both heart and soul settle within it. 120. One may say that microbes dont exist, since he doesnt see them. Its all right; yet when I give a microscope to him Ill prove hes wrong; hell see it with his sight. 121. The naked eye may see extremely well, yet it has got its limitations, truly. This is why I think the naked eye mustnt be the sole source of our learning.
______________________ 1) II Corinthians, 4.18. 2) I Corinthians, 2.14. 3) I Corinthians, 2.15.

31

18. PRACTICE 122. What is, then, the microscope I mentioned, by the use of which the eyes see better? The spiritual efforts, aspiration; the union of the will-power and prayer. 123. What does it mean: the spiritual efforts? It means avoiding doing harmful things which are the source of suffering and troubles, which hide the Truth and make it stay unseen. 124. Now, the things that one should practise always: not to kill or do harm, not to steal, not to lie or take the others partners. Theyre just some things in which the Wise agree. 125. Purifying this way our being the good actions make the passageway clear for us to go, to meet the dawn of innocence, in which we shall awake.

32

19. THE ELOQUENT EXPRESSION OF THE UNSPEAKABLE1) 126. A man will feel the urge to seek, to find, to realize and to know his own essence. For such a quest a lot of strength is needed; the source of that strength lies in utter silence. 127. The prayer of quietness2) and dhyana3); the inner quietude4) and meditation these words come to us from different lands, yet these are all synonymous expressions. 128. All the various techniques of silence are meant to bring the mind back to its source, to calm it and to keep it calm, serene and filled with as much bliss as it can hold. 129. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.5), the Christ goes on. When the soul succeeds in calming thoughts, even struggling, it regains its throne.
___________________ 1) from the book Meditation: Man-Perfection in GodSatisfaction, by Sri Chinmoy, where he says, Silence is the eloquent expression of the unspeakable. 2) the expression used by Saint Teresa of Avila (15151582) 33

3) the Sanskrit word, meaning meditation. 4) the translation of the Orthodox Christian term, meaning meditation. 5) Matthew, 5.3

20. THE GUIDES FAVOUR 130. The techniques demand from us some effort; they urge a man whos earnest and sincere to find the goal himself. Its nothing new, thats the way this law has always been. 131. But besides an individuals effort there is one more thing that also matters: the guidance from a person who can help us, who loves us, who came just to break our fetters. 132. Those who reached the end of the road can easily lead those who will let Them lead them; on the strength of Their Wisdom and Grace They offer to all the way to Freedom. 133. Who are these extraordinary souls? None other but the Light itself that sends Them, its Rays, to serve us and to lead us to the perfect Life that never ends.

34

134. I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No-one comes to the Father but through Me.1) That Consciousness Divine thats here revealed is the essence of the Teachers Being. 135. The Teacher is just one, although He changes His image, changing His bodily forms. He told us this, You judge by human standards.2) The more bodies He takes, the more He works. 136. All the bodies that the Teacher wears are His part and parcel. Says the Teacher, I am in the Father and the Father is in Me.3) I am Alpha and Omega.4) 137. Such words can go for all enlightened people, The words are of the Father, theyre not mine.5) Anyone of Them could say the same, being the channel of the Truth and God. 138. People call Them Teachers, Masters, Saints or Gurus we called Jesus Christ a Rabbi. The main thing, that our predecessors told us, is to know if They are bona fide.

35

139. If they are genuine and if theyre ours (and it means if theyre destined for us) what on earth could frighten their disciple? Their wisdom turns all ignorance to dust. 140. Since for Them Their bodies, time and space cant be said to be real limitations, it would be foolish to doubt Them and ask whether They can lead us to salvation. 141. The Christ said, Before Abraham I am.6) Could a body utter such a thing? Only Eternal Consciousness could say it! I am who is, who was and who will be.7)
______________________ 1) John, 14.6 2) John, 8.15. 3) John, 14.11. 4) Revelation, 1.8. 5) John, 14.24. 6) John, 8.58. 7) Revelation, 1.8.

36

21. THE PROGRESS 142. Fortunately, a new age begins, in which the human understanding may become more capable of finding what are worth the teachings of the Wise and Great. 143. After all, the Spirit is the basis of all else, so it ought to come first. The matter will not be able to stand opposed for longer while to its own Source. 144. Contemporary science says: the matter is the result of the Force that moves. This is the law that everyone accepts, it is something no-one can disprove. 145. The Spirit is, in other words, the Force in the basis of which lies a yet deeper Reality which is hiding, being obvious and, yet, non-manifest. 22. THE EFFORT TO REACH PERFECTION 146. Better than a thousand useless words is one single word that offers peace.1) The deepest peace and knowledge can be found if we follow the wise words like these.
37

147. And yet, its not enough to know the words; the words are not enough, however wise. The darkness can be conquered by him only who consciously makes effort and who tries. 148. The personal effort is essential when one is only beginning to seek.2) So, though the road may seem so long and tiresome if we make an effort, well succeed. 149. The Teacher told us very clearly, Seek and you will find.3) Its as simple as that. The you will find, however, doesnt go for those who dont care to make the attempt. 150. Be perfect thus as your heavenly Father is perfect.4), says the Teacher in the Book. Everybody lives to seek perfection, which does exist the saints are its full proof. 151. Perfection is not only possible and deserving of its proper place, but it is also inevitable in the evolutions final phase.

38

152. It is the faith in its existence thats a major motive that still goads us on in everything we do in our lives; thats a fact familiar to all. 153. No matter in what form it is expressed as wisdom, immortality or something other perfection, nonetheless, is the main motive that inspires people to go farther.
________________________ 1) The Dhammapada, 100 (a collection of Buddhas words, compiled in 3rd century B.C.) 2) Ramana Maharshi, The Collected Works of Ramana Maharshi, Who am I? 3) Matthew, 7.7.; Luke, 11.9. 4) Matthew, 5.48.

23. AND YET 154. Whats the problem, then? The people doubt perfection and its possibility, deliberately hindering their progress, not knowing their own true abilities. 155. If we compare a human with a bee in an open jar, we see too well, observing the bee banging at the glass, that the human state is just like hell.
39

156. People, just like bees, dont even look up, towards the exit where they came from, as if all of them wanted to die banging their heads, not minding their being tortured. 157. The exit may be not so plain to see, but that is not the problem with the jar. If you are devoted to your search, the wise would say, you will find the way out. 158. Sometimes Im really frozen with the thought of so many cases where the people dont even want their fetters to drop off there are few that really crave for freedom. 159. I dont say that people do not want to be free they do want, more or less, but few assent to leave the way of living which is filled with suffering and mess. 160. Yet, one doesnt cease to be alive if he tries to change his way of living, to live in Truth! One doesnt care for freedom, though freedom is the thing of what hes dreaming
40

161. Does anyone know why this is so? It is so because so many people love their shackles, as I said before; and so, they pray for freedom insincerely.

24. WHO IS, THEN, SINCERE? 162. Only those who find delight in searching search for freedom from pain, sorrow, fear As long as ones afraid of seeking Truth he cannot find perfection that is clear. 163. How come that anyone may like his bondage? Man, in fact, knows nothing of his Source; he doesnt want to search for his own Self, he rather picks some more attractive choice. 164. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.1) True, it seems that, to the people, all is more important than their Self ___________________
1) Matthew, 10.39.

41

25. WHOEVER WANTS IT, LET HIM HAVE IT 165. The ways of looking at the things are many; I dont think that I should make more fuss. Some prefer the ignorance to Truth I wont object; the choice is up to us. 166. Let us live the way we want, indeed. Let us live the way of life we choose; some will want to taste some bitter fruits instead of sweets. Let them enjoy their food. 167. Anyway, the words that you meet here are not meant for the unprepared at all. What can be bad if some dont care for Bliss, since they have got some more important goals? 168. It simply means that such a person isnt yet prepared to be released and saved from death and pain and ignorance and hell; leave such a sheep alone it wants to graze. 169. I also know that, later, it will cry when someone comes to disturb or attack her, or when she comes across a hungry wolf then it will cry for help and call the shepherd.
42

170. But, since the shepherd is all Love and Grace, he wont be mad with her for calling late, but he will rush to save her life, and then, to give her brand new chances to be saved. 26. INSTEAD OF AN EPILOGUE 171. However, I refuse to lead a life of that kind so pitiable, passive! Im searching sometimes I must practise patience, yet I begin to see a life worth living. 172. The only purpose of this poem is to inspire those who feel and think more or less like I do. Others may be bored or even disgusted with it. 173. But the words of which this work consists came from the inspiration by the Wise how could I call them my own words at all? Ill leave it up the audience to judge. 174. All this wisdom I call my own Teacher; I thank it now for all the things it gave me! To them who from this book get inspiration to read the books of old Im also thankful.
43

27. THE CONCLUSION 175. When I started searching for the Truth I wanted to escape the world, for sure. But now Ive come to know what I should do: realize, accept and love the world.

44

A SEEKER'S LINES FROM DEEP WITHIN

45

I've heard a voice from deep within, an inner voice that cried and beckoned: ''Wake up and be what you are! and that is ONE WITHOUT A SECOND.''.

46

volume I
written down in the year of the Dog (1994-1995)

47

(1) THE PART OF THE TRUTH Now, on the day when Life is lit enough that I could clearly see, I vow to try not to commit a single wrong I can ommit I'll be the way I'm made to be! So, hate, just don't approach to me, because, at last, I know the Way, I want to make myself be free. Greed, I need your company no more, not even for a day. And you, desire, go away! Don't harass me any more, and hear the words I've got to say: you won't have me as your prey! Knock on someone else's door! The Truth has come, up to the fore, and I've seen but a tiny bit. But though I couldn't see its core, I've seen enough to be quite sure that we are all the part of it.

48

(2) ABANDONING THE SHIP To cross the sea and reach the other shore we need a ship why, that is something sure! But then again the meaning of that trip is not to spend entire life aboard our time is short and we cannot afford to waste it. What the ship is really for 's to help us get across the sea. The ship we should abandon in the other port: the vehicle we'll need after 's of a different sort.

(3) THE BALL AND CHAIN I ought to stop this dragging ball and chain the chain's been locked but now I've found the key, so, from now on, I'll try to make me free; I'll try to rid unnecessary strain Nothing that I do should be in vain!

49

(4) (I'M NOT LEAVING) THE ROOM If the room in which I live is dark, and if in it there's always blackest night, I shouldn't change it for another, though, but bring into the room abundant light.

(5) PERFECT EQUILIBRIUM He who always dwells within his source he actually needs no hair nor clothes, he doesn't look at things as right or false he is always one with Highest Force.

(6) TEACHER, TO HIS LAZY HEN I can feed you on the finest seed, make you a nest, provide with all you need Still, there's a thing that only you can do I cannot lay an egg instead of you!

50

(7) THE CROCKS UPON THE HEADS I've seen some women carrying crocks erect upon their heads, and all the while they led some talks, they didn't stop their chats. And yet I saw no crock that fell, regardless of their acts; they did their work extremely well, and all these words are facts! The concentration they have shown at work is precious to us all, as an example which alone can tell how good is self-control. Self-control is, as we've seen, far from abstaining from the action it's the path that goes between all the extremes which veil perfection.

51

(8) BURIED TREASURE If some treasure, that you know it had been buried long ago, still exists there in your yard, then search for it! But it'll be hard, and it could last indeed too long. So watch it good you'll dig the ground, but buried treasure won't be found if digging in a place that's wrong. However hard you dig and drill the work can only make you ill: you ought to dig, if you are smart, in just the proper place your heart!

(9) THE PROGRESS I MAKE I have learned WHAT? is wrong now I'll learn WHY? it's wrong. I have learned WHAT? to do now I'll learn HOW? to do.

52

(10) THE HYMN Good has one "o"; God has them two. The one try to know, the other to do.

(11) A LITTLE PRAYER True Reality, help me see Your light! True Divinity, illuminate the night! I will run to Thee; O, Light, with all my might, I will run to Thee!

(12) ("LEAVES OF GRASS" IN SHORT) I don't need a church of stone I've got my own, of flesh and bone.

53

(13) TEACHER, TO A DOUBTFUL SEEKER If you decide that you should leave, to find a place where you belong, I would be patient; I believe you wouldn't stay away too long. If you should leave to seek your goal, your happiness if you pursue, I'd help you then with all my soul, all that I have I'd give to you. And thus you would be free to try to find yourself a proper way. I trust you fully that is why I really think you wouldn't stray. I wouldn't mind if I should wait, no matter how much time it takes, because I know, with no debate, it would be best for both our sakes.

54

Experience would make you pure and it would help you understand that all diseases love can cure: there's not a thing it couldn't mend. I like you best when you are free, Im sure that, even if you leave, you'll certainly come back to me, just like a record to its sleeve.

(14) FIND YOUR TEACHER When you want to make a lunch to eat, to have the contents is far from enough: no matter whether you've got all the stuff, no such a pile will make your lunch complete. To show you're wise, to show you're ''ripe'' indeed for cooking, get a proper recipe! If you want to seek and find the Truth, then learn it's not depicted in the books: the words cannot describe the way it looks, and searching thus, you may waste all your youth. So find your Teacher, who is here to teach you how to put the Truth within your reach!

55

(15) BRIDLE YOUR MIND To see if there is anything behind your knowledge, ask your heart it'll soon respond; but firstly learn to bridle restless mind! The mind is good, but it can't reach beyond.

(16) THE MIRROR SONNET I can try and try and turn my eyes, but I don't think that I will see my face: I know I won't succeed in such a case, I'll only make more unsuccessful tries. To know its look, to know its shape and size, I ought to see it from another place, but since I can't, I find it no disgrace; my weakness 's not a thing one should despise. For I could see it if I had a mirror, which would display all that can be seen. There is a mirror which can show me clearer what I am, I'll be and I had been. The looking glass I speak of is my Teacher, who can make me see my inner feature.
56

(17) COPING WITH THE DANGERS To boldly jump into a swimming pool when you're still hot, and water in it cool, I daresay you're endangering your health. About that sort of risky things I felt that I should act according to my real abilities. I'm capable to feel or take the strain no more than I'm prepared: this attitude is rather wise than scared! One cannot burden a five year old boy with ninety pounds! What's worse, one would destroy his vulnerable body doing so. All should be done in its time not before! And I myself am not completely sure if I should better wait a little more for some experiences which I deem quite indispensable (as now they seem). I'll have to rid some habits anyway, not letting, though, myself be led astray and bound with lust or hate or greed or fame, but all the time be conscious of the Aim.

57

Cause certain things should better be lived through the way that nature made for us to do. And those same things await me anyway, so, though I could do my best to delay the final battle, I will have to deal with them. "I'll rid them then, this time for real!" The dealing with such things is as with mines: a small mistake can cause excessive 'fines'. One has to handle them with utmost care! So, only if I'm constantly aware of just how dangerous these things appear (and at the same time I should have no fear!), and yet how helpful they could be to me, if I should master them to some degree, I will be able to pull through unharmed with purity of Heart if I am armed.

58

(18) PATIENCE Pour the water into a tea-pot and it will take some time for it to boil, though fire may be strong or heater hot it doesn't depend only on your toil. Whoever wants to get a nice suntan he has to let the sun complete its work. But he who tries again and then again at once to get it, he acts like a jerk. For those who want to find their Inner Being PATIENCE is the thing they really need. PATIENCE, rather than the rest, can bring the Light to them and yet, with highest speed.

59

(19) THE TORCH Or ''The Difference Between Finite and Infinite'' I could give you my new car for free, but after that the car would not be mine we couldn't own it both! It would be fine to duplicate it for both you and me. However, in the material world there is no possibility for such achievements in that world there is as much matter as before it is transformed. But in the world of spirit it's not so: the one whose torch is lit has got the flame, but if he lights your torch his flame won't go away from him it will burn just the same! Ask him to light your torch he won't say 'No' cause in the world of spirit that's a shame. It doesn't matter, thus, whose torch will show the path to us, and help us see the Aim.

60

(20) TRAINING FOR A LIFEGUARD I want to discuss a bit curious thing and hear your opinion of its moral ground: you see a man drowning, the one who can't swim you're eager to help him and keep him alive. The sight is most horrible, you watch him die you're ready to do any thing to help. But what can you do and how can you try to save him if you cannot swim yourself? Provided that you cannot save him with some devices for rescuing, nor any tool, in such an occasion one thing must be done, and that is to jump yourself in the pool. You can't swim at all and you know you would drown; if your sense of good wishes you to partake in the poor man's disaster, then follow him down and die in the depths of the pool for death's sake.

61

However, it's wiser that you do not tempt your fate and decide not to meddle at all, but let the man drown, not making attempts to save him; you live he may die, but alone. And then, on the other hand, you could advice and help with instructions while standing aside However, regardless of how true or nice, just your verbal help cannot rescue his life. Some of the few solutions have been shown; in each of them the drowning man 'deceased', being left to save himself just on his own That is a fact that hardly leaves us pleased, and here is why: some people know their strength, and yet their very strength is like a mask, because it's of no use if they can't swim. So only those who learn to swim, at length both should and could take on the noble task of rescuing the drowning man and all the rest like him. The sole solution which is left is to learn to swim ourselves.

62

(21) HOW COULD THAT BE? How could I think of waking others truly if I myself am not awakened fully? How could I lead the blind, who want to find the path towards the Goal, while I'm still blind? (I may hear better than a blindman hears; the path, however, can't be seen with ears.) Therefore, for now, I'll only quote the wise, who found the path, the Goal and got the Prize.

(22) THROUGH MATTER TOWARDS THE SPIRIT Without a pot, or any such a dish, though I might wish to, I can't cook a meal. It's nice to do the things one wants to do, but one must keep the sense of what is real.

63

(23) THE MARKS OF CHALK UP THE WALL On this occasion I will talk about a thing that's poorly known; first, an example should be shown: suppose I've got a piece of chalk, and, say, I'm standing by a wall (the one that's smooth and rather tall). And let's suppose I want to mount the wall, and having done it, sit upon the very top of it. I try to jump high off the ground to reach the top and sit if not, I use the chalk and mark the spot. I ground, and yet, the spot remains and marks the height I've reached before. To reach the top I must jump more; I'll ground again, then jump again And every mark I make will lead towards the progress that I need.

64

It doesn't matter what's the height I've reached, while I still have to fall. Yet, no one says I ought to crawl! No! I should jump with all my might! I shouldn't quit my tries until I mount the top and that I will. And from the top one can't fall down: there we shall find our Throne and Crown.

(24) THE HAIR-TROUBLE The more you shave your beard the more it grows upon your jaw; the more you cut your hair the more of it is bound to grow So pull the hairs out by the roots and they won't vex you any more! "But how?" Find someone who can show you how! Then you will know. (don't be alarmed if it seems slow or painful that's the law!)

65

(25) "YOU ARE THAT" When there's but One then what should make you fear? And "You are That!" you're That, right now and here.

(26) HAVING THE CUP EMPTIED The Mother will not pour the nectar in my cup unless it's empty. And, unless I get my cup full I cannot be truly happy. It doesn't matter what's inside it, is it honey, wine or dust nectar won't bear to be spoiled, so I must clean the cup, I must. The Mother will not pour the nectar in my cup until it's empty. And, until I have my cup full, I cannot be truly happy.

66

(27) AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK The value of da Vinci's paintings stands beyond expression and the words we know. The data of how many paints he used, how long he had been painting, cannot give or show to me the value he had built into the masterpieces he had made. Who thinks it possible to tell me more in words, about the beauty I perceive, more than the author's message through his art? Beethoven's compositions and Bach's works the language of their music can't be turned to words or numbers. We may read the weight of the performers or their instruments, the time that each of the great pieces lasts, but how could that convey the same delight, or even make us sense their haunting charm? A critic's words will definitely fail to cause the thrill the works themselves would cause

67

And how shall we evaluate the works of Shakespeare? Shall we count his lines and words? Or shall we put the volumes of his plays on a pair of scales, to find some deep or, maybe, hidden meaning to his art? There's no interpretation good enough to make us feel the same that we have felt while drinking from the artist's cup itself. So, now we see we cannot even measure, or correctly put in words or figures, something that is obvious to all; it's obvious, but it's beyond description! And note that it belongs to, shall we say, the realm of relative and actual; and yet, there's doubt that it could ever be expressed by any of the means that come from that very world of limits, names and forms. Nevertheless, there are so many people who'll claim the non-existence of the things which keep escaping proofs or definitions.

68

They will soon forget all their attempts, which failed when they were trying to depict the Relative (in its specific forms); then, they will grab their meters and be off to catch, express and weigh the Absolute. I wish them luck; they'll need it if they try to turn the Infinite into the finite, to measure the Eternal with their clocks and to put Silence into sounds and words.

(28) A LITTLE ODE TO MATERIAL PROGRESS The progress of humanity has helped the people here on earth by bringing out the useful Word that wants to create unity. The Word is now available, like it has never been before, to those who want it. Furthermore, it's now more understandable.

69

(29) KEPT IN THE RIGHT PLACE God, confined to churches, shrines and books, can't help the world, or change the way it looks. God, expatriated from our lives, can't answer if our prayers are mere lies. God, if put too far beyond the sky, then may not hear a mortal's pleading cry. God, revealed through peace, delight, joy, arts, through love and good, should breathe within our hearts.

70

(30) THE POLE The pole which stands erect in our park is on the spot where different paths meet. Depending on the path from which I look at it, and on the viewpoint that I took, the place around it may seem calm and neat, and, too, it might seem hideous and dark. Watching the pole from the first point of view behind it I would see a line of trees; when looking from another spot I'd find some benches near and buildings far behind. Not only that, but I would see all these few hours later in a different hue. All the impressions that I would obtain while looking at the pole I shouldn't claim to be the only truth about the pole, because the others see it, just like me, and their impressions I must grant to be as true as mine And so, despite the all the points of view, the pole is just the same: the acceptance of that truth would spare us much unnecessary pain.

71

(31) THE EFFORTS OF THE GREAT At different places, different times, people would get the helping hand from the men who were above all individual limits, and whose only aim was to enlight and teach those who are unaware of Transcendental Truth within themselves. However, Truth itself has made disciples for those saints. Jesus Christ was one of them, Lord Krishna taught with equal goal, Gautama Buddha did the same as Mahovir, Sri Ramakrishna, Guru Nanak, Bastami, Ramana, Kabir, Sri Chinmoy, Shankara, Moses, Lao Tsu, Sri Aurobindo, Boddhidharma, Saint Teresa, Sri Chaitanya, Milarepa of Tibet

72

These names are only of the saints whose words are spread and heard the most. But many others reached their height, and, though the impact they have made may seem much lesser in its scale, their joint achievement only counts, and shows the Oneness of their Light. Their holy lives were spent on Earth to show the path to human kind. In hardest times they came among the common folk, to help them with the supreme knowledge of the Goal. The teachings they had brought us would be purposeless without ourselves, cause all they've done was meant for us. They gave instructions how to live, they told what one should do to reach perfection while in human form. Unfortunately, many times their words were twisted and prophaned. The comments on their teachings were completely different from the source. The source, however, never changed!

73

It simply was too hard for some to live the way their teachers tought. Mere preaching seemed an easy way, but that's a tree without the root! The teachers' words have showed the path, but their examples gave the meaning to the words that they revealed! Whoever truly wants and tries to live the kind of life They lead will ultimately get the Prize, as They had done and They had said.

(32) I WILL NOT HALT I'll take the path on which the bravest trod until I'm one with God, there'll be no stops. Let Maya take whichever course it wants I will not halt until I'm one with God.

74

(33) THE PENDULUM You've paced along the hall and found the door, but there's a pendulum in front of it, and it's so large it wouldn't let you in. You must remove that obstacle for sure, so you could try a violent push or hit. That's not a good solution, though. I mean that it could seem it's not there anymore, and for a while it will be out of sight But it'll return and strike with all its might! If we suppose that it's a special kind of pendulum, and it can't be ''erased", I would suggest an infallible trick: (you ought to use your muscles, heart and mind) it should be slowly pushed aside; then placed and fastened by a hook to any brick that's firm enough. And also you may find some link protruding from the wall to use. Doing in such a manner you can't lose. Then all the doors will be just yours to chose!

75

(34) THE TEACHER'S ONLY MISSION If I were in the center of a jungle, or in a desert, in its very middle, it's a normal thing that I would struggle to escape from there, to solve the riddle find a solution to my grave position. I couldn't make to leave it on my own, my chances for survival would be small. No, small is not the word there would be none (or almost none)! So nothing would (at all!) be quite sufficient to ease my condition. I really doubt that anyone could find the way out all alone, although he could direct himself by landmarks, and decide alone to leave the dunes or endless wood. Yet, such decision would be science fiction. It's quite a different thing when there's a guide, who knows the way and wants to get me out. I would be safe while walking by his side, for he's the one I can't succeed without and my salvation is his only mission.

76

(35) IMAGINARY WORLD The world we know is full of life and beauty beyond question. Yet, the world we know or Maya cannot match Perfection!

(36) THE BEES INSIDE THE OPEN JARS Society is near its peak, but happiness has not showed up. Man wants the nectar, but his cup, though big and shiny, tends to leak! The people feel entrapped and mad, but they themselves have built the bars! Now they act like the bees in jars, who try to break through, banging heads. And not so far above them, though, there is the exit they don't see: they even don't look up! And we just laugh at them that's all we know

77

But our position is the same! The clue is, too, within our reach! So, now, I don't intend to preach: I'll simply leave towards the Aim. The words without the deeds are weak. Philosophy is false until we try to use our strength and will and live the Truth, the Truth we seek. Yet, weakness is not bad to some, and if it's so, that's fine with me: I'll let them, though I don't agree with certain views or with their sum. We're free to make the choice we want. We may as well keep our eyes closed And yet my words are not imposed: though some may deem them such, I don't. Now I don't know what else to say, or rather why, since all's been said. Who wants it let him remain sad. But children know well how to play!

78

(37) AS YOU LIKE IT Perfection will not pay a visit to a man who doesn't seek it.

(38) MY SOUL, MANIFESTED My Teacher is indeed my soul, manifested in the world: He's all I am, I am His all.

(39) ("YaHVeH") "I AM" which doesn't say "I am", or think "I am", but is "I am", is nothing else but God, the Self; it is no less than God Himself!

79

(40) THE SPRING OF HAPPINESS I've found the place where happiness grows, I've found the place from which all joy flows, and it's been in me. How could I be happy till everyone knows the same thing as well? I tell you there is a happiness-spring within each of you. But I'm not too sure if this sort of thing is easy to tell. I say it's not easy and by that I mean one's apt to believe just what one has seen (or put finger through!). Within ourselves is (and it's always been) our heaven and hell. It is up to us which path shall we choose to set ourselves free. Now, since I don't have too much time to lose don't think that I shall!

80

(41) IN THE DAWN OF MY DETACHMENT LIFE The living is a bridge, but only when I've crossed it will my feet walk on the other ridge. My existence will be made complete when I take all the aspects of my being: accepting all the aspects of my being the dawn of my detachment life will spring. I know that I should not, cannot, will not renounce my earthly life. Therefore, to change my lot is simply all that's really worth the strife. Though life has bound me, I'll untie the knot: this is the dawn of my detachment life. I'll seek the path through weeds (I know the path exists, so I don't fear). I'll shape my life with deeds, the way that it would do an ancient seer. I'm weaker, yet, who truly tries succeeds. The dawn of my detachment life is here.

81

The path is, after all, so tricky, hard to walk on, slippery Great many walkers fall, it's made for rather few; and yet, to me it seems the path has sent to me a call, the dawn of my detachment life to see. I've heard my whole being shout: "I may have parts, but I am not the sum! I need but to find out just who I am: I don't have to become!" So, what impedes me I will leave it out: the dawn of my detachment life has come. To let one self be bound with wishes and with transient desires, in finite things be wound 's an error which a person, who aspires to sail the sea of Truth, cannot afford. The waves are huge, but I'll remain aboard: the dawn of my new life has come, my Lord!

82

(42) THE HUMAN AIM A poet from long time ago* had called it Love he wasn't wrong; I wouldn't sing this simple song in case I knew it wasn't so. And whether Truth or Light or Love or God or any other name is used, within or high above if we should find it all's the same! These are the names of human Aim; towards the Aim one ought to go: if that's the path that we pursue, the Aim will hail both me and you.

(43) BE LIKE A CHILD "Do not pretend, but be unbound! Be like a child!" the Teacher said; I nodded and sat on a merry-go-round and I don't intend to step from it yet.

_________________________________ *George Herbert (1593-1633), "Love"

83

(44) EVOLVING I thought I was a nobody trying to be somebody now I know I'm somebody turning into all and everybody!

(45) "KNOW YOURSELF" If you say you are your name then to whom this name applies? If the name is of your body who in it says: "Body's mine."? Who in you says mind is yours when you say you are your mind? Who, or what, possesses them? Where does your real existence dwell? You know it's here, though you can't sense it like the space inside a shell. It is the Universal Truth, it's nothing else but your true Self!

84

(46) THE LINES FOR A BOLD SEEKER The time has come your life has changed and your pursuit began, the end of which is to unfold your real existence, seeker bold. The things you've done don't matter much your aspiration does! So, male or female, young or old there's not much difference, seeker bold. Your eagerness to know your Self is the sole thing that counts; so try to practise what's been told by perfect teachers, seeker bold. As soon as you have felt the urge to know your Self get up! The waste of time you can't afford, so get you going, seeker bold.

85

The quest fot Truth takes strength and time, it's full of tests and tasks, plus pitfalls that you must behold and then avoid them, seeker bold. Don't worry, but be careful still; act wisely you'll succeed. Shun all the things that can withhold and drag you backwards, seeker bold. Don't waste your days in chasing wealth, short-lived is joy it gives, for neither mansions, yachts nor gold will last forever, seeker bold. Don't get attached to that which dies. Transcend the things which bind don't let them shape you with their mould, and, yet, don't fear them, seeker bold. The pleasures of the skin are short (the skin itself will pass) don't let them trap you or enfold you; keep your freedom, seeker bold.

86

And pay less heed to what some say, cause few can understand that love is neither weak nor cold if lacking passion, seeker bold. And that's a truth that's been confirmed, which teachers told us, too; but you should find the Truth untold the one and only, seeker bold! You ought to live and be that Truth! So, since you've found the path, don't stop until you reach the Goal, but keep advancing, seeker bold!

87

(47) NOT AN EASY TASK I'm born a human to fulfill the Truth. I dedicate my will to the sole cause that's worth enough. My feet are bare, the path is rough, but I don't worry 'bout its length: the Truth within me gave me strength. We are all born to manifest the Truth on earth. I'll do my best in doing just the way I'm told from deep within. I cannot scold all those who are still unaware of noble cause. They may not care for now their time is yet to come. And when it comes, I know that some of them will surely wake and rise and start their striving for the Prize. Aspiring for the Prize we can get rid of grief so not again we'd waste our precious time in vain: we ought to put an end to pain. The lecture how to do it all, to find the Truth and know the soul,
88

is all but new: it had been told long time ago. We're growing old, neglecting our potential might. We waste our vigour while we fight against each other all along. And yet, no human is as strong as he who knows his higher Self: compared with him man's like an elf who stands beside the highest tower. Both in their size and in their power they are different as I said. But such a sage cannot be glad until we try to reach his height. In fact he's here to show us Light: just cause of that the Teachers try and come to wake our inner cry for Truth, within our hearts. In spite of all that does the best to blight our purity which lies within ourselves (there's nothing we can't win, when it at last becomes revealed) and all the hurt yet to be healed, enlightened Teachers pave the way with the wisdom meant to stay. From the beginning they have taught us how the light is to be sought.
89

But some of us were deaf. And still there are the like, who show no will to hear the wisdom of the saints; and such will always make complaints and find some fault with Teacher's words: to them it seems that Teacher herds us like sheep towars the fold, to have us sheared, then killed and sold: such notions are completely wrong! And yet, they may occur along with some experiences, cause time after time on earth there was a climate fit for fake messiahs. Falling prey to the like liars credulous and simple folks would lose their roofs, and beds, and forks, and all they owned they had to give so the false prophets then could live like in an earthly paradise, due to the power of their lies. I understand all this reserve, but our own hearts can never serve something which is not the Goal: the Teacher guides us through the soul, the soul can tell us what is right and what defects we ought to fight.
90

All we have to do is ask: the soul will tell us our task. You maybe think these words are lies, you maybe think that they are wise, or you just think that they are nice They're nothing but a good advice: they certainly are not commands! They just express what soul demands. However, some are unaware that Inner Being deserves its share in human life. So they reject their inner cry, or just neglect the need of their own souls to reach the surface, so their souls could teach and guide them to the perfect state. And people surely wouldn't wait and waste so much their precious time, but they would search for what is prime, if they could only see a bit of Light: and it could make them quit the purposeless and futile actions which would draw them from perfection. I myself would not suggest some overdoing. It is best that all decide on their behalf of whether spiritual path
91

is meant for themselves to pursue. The path itself is nothing new; a lot of people stepped on it, and yet, for some it didn't fit. The path has got to be your choice, which you would hear from Inner Voice. Just deep conviction from inside can be considered as a guide. The path is only for the strong, it is a crime to drag along or push on it those unprepared: they would be shocked, bewildered, scared! There's nothing worse that can be done than make all people act like one. The difference in the human level mustn't be ignored forever; all have got just their own measures. Each of humans keeps and treasures the convictions of his own. Many act like they're alone and none else matters except them And yet, I think one shouldn't blame them for their ignorance at all. Their understanding now is small, but gradually they will improve. Because of that I but approve of pointing out to them the source of wisdom. But I wouldn't force
92

not one of them to do a thing to damage his own lower being. The evolution knows its job, and those who, now, belong to mob in course of time will surely be turned to a perfect entity. Perfection is within our reach, it is available to each it's not a thing one should create it is within us! It's our fate! It's already in us, it is our basic nature. It won't cease if we don't think about it, too. It sounds too good yet to be true. It sounds so good it spoils our faith It won't be, though, served on a plate! Suppose we had the loads of gold, but it cannot be used or sold until we find the padlock's key. And so we've got this gold, you see, and it belongs to us as well. But we can only rage and yell, because our gold is of no use. We ought to take it no excuse like: "Well, we've got it in this chest." should satisfy us. It is best
93

that we get hold of the right key and then to set our treasure free. Teacher said: "Ask you'll be given." He said: "Knock the door will open." But if I don't try to knock, then who is going to unlock the door, and then invite me in? If I don't knock, or just begin to think of knocking how can I expect reward? I have to try! And how to try, I have been told: "Love all the creatures, young and old!" And it was also explained why: "They are the same as you!" So I should only see what permeates us all. We're like the different plates which differ from each other just in size and colour. But we must admit we're made of the same clay. "We knew that!" some will, maybe, say. But some who'll say it haven't shown they have accepted that, and grown to the point where they would do or try to practise what they knew.

94

So Teacher takes again his place, advising us, out of his grace: "The Truth that now seems far away is within you. Thus you may attempt to find, if you want there is nothing that should daunt you or confuse you if you try: the Truth in you can never die. People are thinking beings, but slaves to their own thoughts. And, like the waves which will not let us see the bottom of the pond that we could fathom, not until our mental work has stopped completely, will our thirst for Knowledge as it is just cease only when we stop the breeze that makes the waves in our pond will we be free from every bond. And through the water, clear and calm, we will see all, like on our palm." Then some will ask: "But our schools? And our degrees? We would be fools to act the way that you propose!" There would be many words like those But Socrates is on my side: he told us that the wisdom's tide
95

can flow just from ourselves, indeed. To give it birth that was his creed! So, those who knew the Truth agreed that our souls alone can lead and help us find the Perfect Knowledge, which transcends that of a college. "There is more than mind!" they taught. And also anyone who fought against the nature as it seemed, and solved the problems which had teemed would tell the same. Nevertheless, the Teacher told us what is best for our own sakes: "When we do good, for our own soul it's the best food!" Then how to still the minds we've got: "Try sincerely. Try a lot. Don't give up when it seems it's hard! Nothing can for long retard the efforts one sincerely makes. Because a lion when awakes cannot be put to sleep so soon. You ought to use whichever boon you find and which will help you keep awake and strong. So fight, don't sleep! Don't think of how much time it'll take it's worth it, sure, so stay awake.
96

Control your senses all the time. Transcend the gross, then the sublime. Still your thoughts and meditate you'll see the Truth, without debate. The Truth you thought to be so far has never left you. No you are the Truth itself! You'll see it all There are no things as "big" and "small", there is no future and no past just Oneness that will always last, has always lasted, never made, which cannot die and cannot fade!" But now the lines are near the end, cause I don't know from where to lend the means to bind the Infinite and make it finite. So I quit

97

(48) SOME KIND OF CHOICE, I GUESS The turning point in my life having come, I paced along the platforms all alone decision was just up to me, so I chose not to ask for needless help at all. I only knew that I must travel far; I felt I knew my destination's place, and, too, I felt that I must take the train which travels to a place where there's no pain. However, there were many trains around, and only few were heading to the place which I had planned to reach at my trip's end. I was myself the only one to judge of which one out of many I should choose. So, I decided not to waste much time (for, it was running out, with every minute). But still no wagon seemed to call me in it! The siren started whistling, and, before I got the faintest notion where I was, I found myself there, riding on a train which I remember vaguely how or when

98

I chose to mount (Wise people even say there are some trains which help you make the choice: they also say such trains can pick you out, then take you where you want there is no doubt!) I was at least provided with a place, though the compartment where I sat was small (or maybe I was used to vaster space). It wasn't bad at all, but rather different from my idea of the perfect train. However, I refused to make complaints, cause I felt in it rare tranquility: to name it I have no ability. I knew that I had never ridden yet on such a train in that, I was convinced. Nevertheless, I also was convinced that I knew much about this one as well the explanations were beyond my wits The things I had disliked the most at first soon proved to be the very source of pleasure: I felt releaved and ceased to test and measure.

99

So, though my first impressions weren't special (the service and the company aboard were different from the models I had dreamed of), as soon as I had caught a glimpse of landscape, something dawned in me and filled my heart up with joy and calm, with happiness and peace the triffles couldn't matter any more, the train, advancing to the destination, was the right one! I felt more than sure that it could take me to Realisation!

100

(49) "YOUR WILL BE DONE" O my Teacher, here, within me, you love me, I love you only I surrender to your guidance. O my Teacher, here, within me, you love me, I love you only let us be in conscious oneness. Your Will Be Done O Perfection, here, within me, you love me, I love you only I surrender to your guidance. O Perfection, here, within me, you love me, I love you only let us be in conscious oneness. Your Will Be Done Reality, here, within me, you love me, I love you only I surrender to your guidance. Reality, here, within me, you love me, I love you only let us be in conscious oneness. Your Will Be Done

101

True Existence, here, within me, you love me, I love you only I surrender to your guidance. True Existence, here, within me, you love me, I love you only let us be in conscious oneness. Your Will Be Done Consciousness of Self, within me, you love me, I love you only I surrender to your guidance. Consciousness of Self, within me, you love me, I love you only let us be in conscious oneness. Your Will Be Done Bliss Eternal, here, within me, you love me, I love you only I surrender to your guidance. Bliss Eternal, here, within me, you love me, I love you only let us be in conscious oneness. Your Will Be Done

102

ABSOLUTE, you hide within me; you love me, I love you only I surrender to your guidance. ABSOLUTE, you are within me! You love me, I love you only let us be in conscious oneness. Your Will Be Done YOUR WILL BE DONE

___________________ Note: One may replace the words O, my Teacher in the first stanza with the words Divine Mother when repeating it silently in prayers, if one likes that brings no change in meaning whatsoever.

103

(50) THE SEEKER'S NOTE I think I should explain my words: I think it's time I gave some note about the wisdom they express, which permeates all that I wrote. I didn't by myself "invent" the words of wisdom that you hear the same words could be also heard from any new or ancient seer! In case I haven't heard of Them, or of Their holy deeds and words, I wouldn't write like this, cause still I've got no access to the Source. Deep in my heart I feel the truth I learned from Their immortal wisdom. In my heart I can agree, that "Within us is Heaven's Kingdom!" That is all I have I'm not consciously one with Higher Sphere. I don't know fully what I write about, but I feel Truth is near.

104

On the highway to the Truth my words are but a signing post! In the house you want to see I'm just the usher not the host! If someone, now, expects from me to show him Divine Light or Bliss, or wants from me Eternal Peace, the point of my words he'll miss. I cannot tell you who you are cause such a thing no words can tell! The words are here just to inspire you to start seeking your true Self I certainly will not insist; I should not drag you by the hand, because your time is yet to come, when you yourself will understand that only us ourselves can try to find the Truth within our Soul. Till we have known it we won't trust that all is One and One is all!

105

volume II
written down in the year of the Pig (1995-1996)

106

(1) THE WAVES ON THE SURFACE At first the surface of the lake was calm and undisturbed; its beauty could be neither told nor could it be explained. The lake, transparent and serene, showed all that it contained the wealth, the beauties of its bottom lit by the sun-rays. But from the beach I threw a stone, made the initial wave; delight just disappeared, at once the lake was not the same. Nothing could be seen a couple feet below the waves And later, when the waves got big, I could see even less.

107

But having lost the sight which I had had before the change I tried to find the beauty in the one I got instead. The two could not bear being compared, but only one remained. So, I discovered very soon the splendour of the waves. The pleasure that I got from throwing stones into the lake became so great that I did not desire any change. The circles that the stones would make, the water splashing, fresh, were entertainment good enough to satisfy me (then!). And on the beach the rocks and stones were in the number large enough to throw them one by one until the end of time

108

The time that had passed brought along both boredom and unrest; dissatisfaction grew and grew by slow and steady step. The joy deriving from my sport kept on receeding fast, especially since I had seen the lake when almost calm. Though it was only calm enough that I could cast a gaze a little deeper than I used to when there were big waves, I felt that deep below the surface, hidden in the lake, something special was awaiting, something truly great. Yet, I did not connect at first the ripples with the fact that I had failed to see far through the lake into its depths.

109

Then, also, I discovered soon that I kept throwing stones yes, I had made a habit which could hardly be controlled. And there was still a lot of pleasure in the habit of my hurling rocks into the lake I didn't like to stop. Nevertheless, all settled soon; I found what would be best. So, I let nature work and put each thing at its own place. The wish to see the very depths grew stronger and prevailed. Then I started thinking of the way to stop the waves. The rocks I threw grew less in number, smaller in their size; the waves, alike, grew smaller, and they, too, became more sparse.

110

I lacked both wits and patience, so, before the surface would be fully calm I'd throw a stone, and make a wave anew. Sincerity I had developed soon became of help; thus the old habits started fading soon, they mattered less. Also, patience came along with wisdom (of a sort). So after that I didn't find it hard to tread the shore. Though, I hope, I threw the final stone into the lake I don't get mad because the ripples haven't vanished yet. All that I should do is wait with patience, throwing no more stones into the water, but just resting on the shore.

111

And when the last waves disappear I'll see the depths, like in a shoal. Now, I think that it is clear that I'VE BEEN SPEAKING OF THE SOUL!

(2) INGREDIENTS (or "WHEN IS A LEMONADE BAD?")

The meditation without aspiration is like a lemonade, but such in which there is no lemon. The meditation without oneness-feeling is like a lemonade, but such which has no sugar in it. The meditation without true surrender is like a lemonade, but such that's made with saline water.

112

(3) THE DEFINITIONS The definition of realisation is "I AM" that hasn't any form. And aspiration's definition is the question "WHO AM I?", and nothing more

(4) NOT AT ALL AS IT SEEMS Do I really need the outer help if I want to find my Inner Self?! "It is not outer, as it seems to be." If that is so Your will be done, my Teacher; let us act like one; I never want you to lose hold of me.

113

(5) (THE WOODEN BAT EDUCATION) Enlightenment is all I want, and I will take no less; enlighten me, my Teacher, please You surely know which way is best. Enlightenment is all I need I can't take less than that; if You should have to beat me for it, Teacher use the hardest bat.

(6) THE EASIEST TASK POSSIBLE (OR, AT LEAST, THE MOST NATURAL ONE!) "Be!"

114

(7) "I AM THAT I AM!" "I am that I AM!" which is in every man. So, how could that which is in all have just one body, weak and small? "I am that I AM!", the life in all, the Self! So, how could that which is the Life be just a body, bound to die? "I am that I AM!", I'm not born I can't end!

(8) THAT, MINUS NAME AND FORM You are That you're looking for; you're all that, minus name and form. Your goal and you are but the same; you are That, minus form and name.

115

(9) THE ONLY ONE WORTH ASKING (AND ANSWERING, OF COURSE!) "Just one question comes from the Heart truly; all the rest come only from the mind." Tell me, Teacher, please: what is that question? "Son, that is the question 'WHO AM I?'."

(10) A MOST NORMAL THING It is a normal thing for me to be happy while I AM. (I would be really foolish, true, if I were sad, although I knew that my existence has no end.)

(11) THE ONLY REASON WE ARE BORN FOR Can existence ever cease to be?! You are It, plus Consciousness and Bliss. One is born to realise that truth there is nothing more to life than this.

116

(12) THE ONE AND THE SAME Being always conscious only of the I AM that's eternal, put an end to ignorance for ever. Put an end to ignorance for ever, always conscious only of the One that is eternal.

(13) A SMALL FAVOUR Teacher, may I ask from You to do me only one, small favour? Make me practise what I know already that is all I beg for!

117

(14) THE REAL "I AM" The real "I AM" is free of thoughts, spontaneous and permanent. The real "I AM" is in your Heart it's not there in the firmament. The real "I AM" is conscious, blissful, living in Infinity. The real "I AM" is your own Self the home of true Divinity.

(15) THE MOST THAT WORDS CAN TELL Teacher, who am I? there's nothing else I yearn to know! "You're One with Me, my child the Nameless Name, the Formless Form."

118

(16) A LETTER IN MY TEACHER'S BOOK At last my ego may admit the truth: "I'm just a letter, printed in His Book!"

(17) WHEN ALL OF US SEE Brotherhood, true Love, true Peace and Joy will dawn on earth only when we see we're One and when all realise the Self.

(18) I WONDER HOW COME I EVEN BEAR IT This is truly the most wretched state: I know I AM, but don't know who I am. Still, there is one that's wretched even more: I know I AM, I don't know who I am, and yet, I do not even try to know.

119

(19) NEVERTHELESS Come what may! Yet, I have to say: my life I shall lay in my Teacher's hands. Come what may! But I will remain just that what I can: Eternal "I AM".

(20) ALWAYS NOW AND ALWAYS HERE I am, and I am always now! I am, and I am always here! Thus, all I must do is to clear "I am" from "what-is-not", somehow. That should be easy, after all, cause "what-is-not" can never be; so, all there's left, at least for me, is truth that says: "I AM is all.".

120

(21) HRIDAYA (or THE NATURE OF THE SPIRITUAL HEART) Teacher, what's the nature of the Heart? "Three things at once: I AM, than Here, and Now."

(22) DESIRELESSNESS AND FEARLESSNESS I crave for nothing just when I know that all is in me and that I'm in all. I'm scared of nothing just when I see that there is but One, and that One is me.

(23) THAT WHICH CANNOT BE DENIED One cannot doubt one's own existence one can only doubt its form. Instead of names and forms, the nature of the pure ''I AM'', alone, is all that should be sought and known.

121

(24) THE MATTER OF CHOICE Only when I long for nothing else will the knowledge of the Self appear; in the meantime I won't know the Self, though It's always with me, now and here. And only when the ego is prepared to live detached from all that pass away, to abdicate so that its Source could reign, will the Self complete Its Cosmic Play.

(25) THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST It seems to me it's not an easy thing to practise what I preach and what I know; I'm not the only one who feels this way anyone I asked would tell me so. It puzzles me that I've been writing down the truths I fail to practise now and then; so I checked these poems through and through, and yet, I found there's nothing wrong with them.

122

The truths I've written down are Teacher's truths, and there is nothing false these lines contain; yet, it is sometimes hard to live them all my progress seems so slow and filled with pain. But this is not the fault with Teacher's words my fancy and my habits made them seem so difficult to follow and endure; this truth should not be read from books, but seen. It is sincerity that I need most to benefit from these lines, true and wise; and it is earnest love of Truth alone that can prevent me from indulging lies. These lines conform in all with Teacher's words, thus all these poems say is right and true; and if I really practise what they say, there's nothing else that I would have to do.

123

(26) THE POEM OF ALL POEMS

124

(27) FOREVER PURE AND FREE (or "THE SUBJECT, SEEKING ITSELF AS AN OBJECT") I'm searching for my Self like for a thing, forgetting I'm the very thing I seek. Being the Subject I search for my Self as for an object how could I succeed?! The Self cannot be seen when all is One the only way to know It is to be the Self; to see It one must separate the one who sees from seeing and from seen. All I could see would have to be outside, but my own Self can't be outside of me; It cannot differ from that which I am, and I'm the Self, "I AM", forever free

125

volume III
written down in the year of the Rat (1996-1997)

126

(1) WHY BOTHER ABOUT THE EXPRESSIONS? I will not say, I will not utter I could try, but I would stutter, trying to express its sound; but that would in the end amount to nothing. I will not say because I can't the words could only disenchant us all. One ought to feel its taste the taste itself can't be replaced by anything. The words are of the relative the relative is all they give; The Absolute alone remains, beyond the words, beyond the names like 'something'. The Truth is not expressible and yet it is accessible! Why name it, then? Let's try to live the Truth, for it alone can give us everything.

127

(2) THE MOTHER'S KIND REPROACH "What are you so proud of, son? Have you discovered who you are? The knowledge of the outer world can never really take you far "Why are you so proud, my child, when you don't even know your Self? You want to grasp the universe first try to grasp your own "I AM"!"

(3) WHEN ALL THE DIFFERENCE DISAPPEARS As long as you perceive duality know that you don't know Reality! When all the difference disappears at last all that seems to be then will have passed except the Bliss of your divinity.

128

(4) A PERFECT PAIR OF ONE "Love" perfectly rhymes with "One"; "One" perfectly rhymes with "Love". The word we use is just a name and these two represent the same.

(5) GIVING UP THE LESSER FOR THE HIGHEST "Son, if you're asking me to place the golden Crown upon your head, well, don't you think that you should first take off your shabby, old straw hat?"

(6) OUR SELF-CREATED BONDAGE It's only us who really tie ourselves with our cravings, fears, desires, hopes It's us who tie ourselves, but, nonetheless, it's only us who can untie the ropes.

129

(7) PERFECTION LIES IN THE RELIEF FROM CRAVING I will not be free from constant craving till I see I'm already complete. Only when I realise there's nothing that I lack, that there is nothing missing, will the craving stop; then I'm relieved!

(8) THE NEED FOR EFFORT IS SLOWLY FADING Effort is quite indispensable only in the beginning of the inner journey; but sooner or later all travellers are bound to find spontaneity replacing it slowly. Then spontaneity serves as the guide that shows us the way to the Goal deep inside.

130

(9) REACHING BEYOND THE APPARENT WORLD The clarity, with which one sees the nature of the world as being unreal yet painful, is the way that leads beyond.

(10) UNTIL THE FINAL ANSWER - Who am I? - I. - Who said "I"? - I said "I". - Who said "I said 'I' "? - I said "I said 'I' ". - Who said "I said 'I said 'I' ' "? - I said "I said 'I said 'I' ' ". - Who said "I said 'I said 'I said 'I' ' ' "? -" ....... "

131

(11) THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LINE THAT I HAVE EVER WRITTEN DOWN

MA

132

(12) DREAMING I'M IN BONDAGE I am a free man who dreams of himself as being locked in a prison. I am a victim of ignorance, thinking I live with no freedom. My case is the same as with most of the people we simply lack wisdom; that's all because within us the true Knowledge has not yet arisen. I may keep on dreaming, yet I shouldn't worry where dreaming may take me; cause I have discovered that, since I'm just dreaming, this nightmare can't hurt me. And why should I worry? All dreaming must end it will have to desert me! My Teacher is here; He's just smiling, awaiting His Hour to wake me.

133

(13) IT'S EASY WHEN YOU REALLY WANT IT If you really care for realisation know that it is not so hard to get; all you need is earnest aspiration there is nothing else you need but that. One may sometimes find it hard to want it, since his knowledge of it is so small; one desires realisation only when he sees that it will give him all.

(14) THE TEARS BECAUSE OF FICTION I admit I used to laugh at those who shed tears when watching plays and films, but now I've realised I'm just like them; I've realised I'm doing just the same identified with those on stage or screen, I cry amid imaginary scenes.

134

(15) THE ULTIMATE WITNESS If I am what I see then who's the one who sees?! Thus, nothing I can see or feel or think of can't be me. For, there is always "I" to whom all this appears I must be that "I", witnessing all that can be perceived.

(16) FIND THE SOURCE OF THE "I-THOUGHT" When I ask you, "What is that you want?" you say, "My self!" why, what are you but that?! What else on earth could you be but your self?! Only, the mind won't let you see it clearly; therefore, silence all your thoughts and wishes, asking "Who am I?" until you find the source from which arises the thought "I".

135

(17) YOU ARE ALREADY ALL YOU OUGHT TO BE! You are already what you are! You are now all you ought to be, so don't leave any place for fear! Who could deprive you of your being: immortal, perfect, blissful, free, eternal "I AM, now and here."?

(18) THOUGHTS ARE JUST LIKE WAVES The ocean is the Self; its wave a notion; the ocean can exist without its wave, but, on the other hand, there is no way for the wave to be without the ocean. Thoughts rise on the surface, then they fall; then they rise again and fall again When all this restlessness come to an end the Self alone remains, embracing all.

136

(19) GOOD REASONS (AND GOOD SYNONYMS!) FOR PATIENCE Patience is, in other words, the joy of knowing that one doesn't have to go anywhere outside himself to reach his destined Goal. Patience is, in other words, the peace of feeling that one doesn't have to reach for something he already has within him, now and here.

(20) SLOTH IS CONTRARY TO SPIRITUALITY One must not neglect his earthly duties if he wants to lead a life sublime; on the contrary, evading doing our respective duties seems a crime. We owe our bodies' living to this planet doesn't it deserve some of our time?

137

(21) EFFORTLESS BEING All the effort one may make to be what he already is is both absurd and funny! Say, what effort does it take to be?!

(22) MINDING ONE'S OWN BUSINESS I'll let the creation to the Creator He'll take care of it in the way I still can't. Instead, I will try to mind my own business, and that is, for now, to stay in my Heart.

(23) BURDENED WITH THE NONEXISTENT BURDEN The attachment to the "I and mine" indeed prevents the Truth from being perceived. But, though the obstacles are plain to see, the notion that they do exist for real is the only obstacle to find.

138

(24) WANT IT OR NOT, I'M FREE I cannot help being free, though this freedom eyes can't see; though I feel confined to a body and a mind. I may identify the real "I" with the ego-I, yet, Truth is still in me it's always been, it'll always be! The Truth I speak about is the Absolute, the "I", the Real, awaiting to be found when we look for it within our Heart.

139

(25) THE SELF-EVIDENT PROOF What proof do I have and what proof can I have that I'm really that what I think that I am? I've got no proof I'm a "this" or a "that"; I just know that I am only that is a fact! Am I an "I am" which I can observe? Of course I can't be an apparent "I am"! I must be "I AM" in absolute terms, the Absolute Being, the "I AM"-by-itself.

(26) BUT I KNOW THAT MUCH, AT LEAST I don't know what I am, and yet I know what I am not, indeed I'm nothing I'm a witness to; I'm nothing that could be perceived.

140

(27) "THAT IS WHAT YOU SAY, NOT ME!" "How dare you call the things perceived your self?! If you are what you see who watches then? You apply to yourself form and name, then, having done it, you become their slave"

(28) IT WOULD BE ABSURD To say that I am what I see, I don't have the cheek. I plainly see I cannot be anything perceived

141

(29) A JEWEL BENEATH THE SOIL IS STILL A JEWEL One may lose the aspiration to attain the perfect state, yet the loss won't affect Perfection it's within him all the same; it's there because it is innate. The mind, however, must aspire to get the release from pain; if one doesn't want to suffer one has to aspire then there simply is no other way.

(30) HALF-HEARTED ASPIRATION DOESN'T WORK I'd like to know when I will know myself? "When you begin to want to know it really." But, don't I want it?! Don't I try to know it?! "Yes, you do; but, do it more sincerely!"

142

(31) DON'T LEAVE YOUR SELF! Don't seek your self in the perceived! Do not go elsewhere stay within! Can it really be so hard to be what you already are, and not what you just think yourself to be?

(32) "YOU KNOW WHERE YOU WILL FIND ME!" "For how long am I supposed to repeat the same old story? Please obey these words you know, for your own good that's all I'm asking: find Me in your self, find your self in Me, find Me in Me or find your self in your own Being!"

143

(33) THE ETERNAL, TIMELESS NOW I don't know when I'll realise my Self but I know it will be now. When was I born? When will I die? I know: my birth and life and death are now. There's not a thing that time could ever bring outside the ever-present now. I think of the past and dream of the future yet neither of them has its own existence apart from their now. The only possible time in the world for an event to happen at all abides in the now. Now is the only possible moment to release both myself and the others from pain and from dark.

144

(34) THE SHORT-CUT TO MY TREASURE Living in the ever-present and eternal "here and now", I will get hold of my Treasure and fulfil my sole desire

(35) THE FEAR OF THE REAL I understand the fear of death, the fear that one will cease to be; the fear of immortality however I can't understand! I see why one may fear to err, cause errors bring their sure effect, but the fear of perfection, yet, is something that I find absurd. The fear of being what we already are is something that I really cannot grasp.

145

(36) A MATTER OF THE MOMENT Sooner or later, dear Buddha, you'll see I will sit down, too, beneath a tree. I delay it now, I know. I wait. I'm telling myself I'm not ready yet. But when I get fed up with suffering I will be ripe for the awakening. Sooner or later, dear Buddha, you'll see I will sit down, too, beneath a tree

(37) THE ONLY KNOWLEDGE NEEDED The only knowledge that we need, the only thing we need to know, is to know the only thing we know that it exists for sure and yet we don't know what it is.

146

(38) KNOWING AND NOT JUST SUPPOSING If I say in any sense "I am", or "I", or "me", I think I ought at least to check what these expressions mean; I ought to reach their very depths and make their meaning clear. It's not enough that I "suppose", for these things must be known! And I myself must seek their source and find it on my own. When I have found it I will know the Self that watches all

(39) THE OPPOSITE VIEWS TO THE ONE That which exists, though it is ONE, is dark to the mind, it's Light to the Heart; the mind sees it as void, the Heart sees it as all, as one, single part.

147

(40) HEAVEN AND HELL What is hell? "The notion of TWO." What is heaven? "The knowledge of ONE." What else is hell? "To think that YOU do." What else is heaven? "To know you're BEYOND."

(41) HARMLESS NIGHTMARE Life is just a kind of dream, that loves to make us toss and scream until we wake, until we see we're safe which we have always been.

148

(42) NOT MUCH OF A LIFE He who lives his life, but lives it with no joy, he doesn't have to wait for death to go to hell he already lives in hell, for sure. Life doesn't bring us joy if we do not see the meaning to our lives, the nature of our being; thus we live in suffering and fear.

(43) IF WE DIDN'T LOOK IN THE WRONG DIRECTION "My child, you are now in the Natural State, but you keep on turning your head away from it. But stop a bit, take a close look and then you may tell Me if I'm correct."

149

(44) LET IT GO, SO THAT IT LETS YOU GO

Let go of the dream if you are sincere in saying you want it to let go of you. It will, nonetheless, take care of itself, much better than you or anyone else possibly could.

(45) NO-ONE CAN HELP BEING THE SELF "What are you afraid of, little child? Are you, perhaps, afraid of what you ARE?! "I'm sorry, but I cannot help you then. It's of no use to try to run away from Perfection, from your own true Self."

150

(46) BOTH RESULTS ARE EQUAL Two pluses added make a plus two minuses make it, too! It's good to run towards the Light to flee from dark is also good. One may strive to find and taste Delight he'll taste it when all suffering has expired.

(47) THE REAL IS ONLY IN THE NOW There is no sense in planning that which has been already made that would be a waste of time. Instead of planning our future it would be more wise and useful if we tried to know the Now.

151

(48) TO RECOGNIZE THE DREAM AS JUST A DREAM When you wake, the dream need not disappear. Only, you will see that it isn't real. You will see that all that is made is for you, the Witness, for your own sport and joy. The dream is made to watch, and not to get involved!

(49) A PRAYER TO THE DIVINE MOTHER Mother, may You, who are ALL there is, reveal Yourself to all in all You are! May Your Love take hold of all of me don't let it only linger in my lines!

152

(50) DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE DECEIVED! Do not think of "your" desires, cause you don't have any those are only of your mind, not yours; they're of your body! The Being, the Consciousness you ARE, has all in it already, it is perfect; thus, it asks for nothing.

(51) THE COURAGE TO ACCEPT THE REAL "Why should you fear the burst of Light, since Light is only what you ARE?! It sure can't do you any harm! The burst requires its own time, but there is no such thing, my son there is no Time outside the Now. "A little courage is, in fact, the only thing you really need to surrender to your Self; and only then you'll be fulfilled."

153

(52) LIFE IS NOT THE SAME THING AS MERE LIVING Human life is frail and fleeting; why should then one give it so much of his time, so much attention? One should rather grasp its meaning, using every minute of his life to grasp the life's foundation. The life itself will be most pleasing if we choose to live it with the aim to realise its nature. We will realise it seeking our Self within it. Knowing Life is Self-Realisation.

154

(53) GRATITUDE AND CONSTANT JOY ARE ONE AND THE SAME To be grateful to your Self or God doesn't mean that you would have to show or express your gratitude at all. To be grateful you ought to become gratitude itself! And how's that done? By being happy with all of your heart.

(54) THE TEACHER IS ONLY MY SOUL EMBODIED Realisation is destined to all, and the last teacher bringing it is life. Yet, it would spare us so much pain and time if we were taught directly by our soul, even if it should come to the earth in a human form, in flesh and blood.

155

(55) WHAT ARE THE GENUINE JOY AND HAPPINESS LIKE? How come that sometimes things may give us joy, then, later, the same things may leave us cold? That only means that joy is not in them; it must be from within us that it came. All that can be felt or known or seen merely provokes the joy that lies within. Happiness cannot be brought about, being already within us, not without. Now, what should we do to make it last? We must make it absolutely free and independent from all outer things, then turn to its Source that abides in us. Happiness and joy which don't depend on outer things indeed can never end.

156

(56) THE ONLY REAL AND CONSTANT FACTOR Let every incident throughout the day make you aware, remind you of the fact that you are just the witness to all that. The only constant factor which remains in anything you see or learn or do is the witness-consciousness in you. All there is is nothing but a play of your consciousness; it's not apart from your Self, from the Universal Heart. All that is perceived, that has been made, had a beginning and will have an end. Only what is real will always stay. And what is that? The Absolute, the Self.

157

(57) LET'S REALISE THE OBVIOUS, AT LEAST! When could the present Now turn to a future one?! It's not so hard to grasp that it could not be done It's only in the thoughts that time could seem to pass, but when all thinking stops, so do the mind and time. Then Consciousness shakes off its ancient chains and only blissful, timeless Now remains.

(58) REGARDLESS OF THE APPEARANCE To spare yourself the pain you should obey your Self, even if it came to teach you in a human shape.

158

(59) THE PROPER USE OF LIFE IS TO SEEK THE IMMORTAL DELIGHT One knows that he is sure to die, since the day he's born; it is merely a matter of time. Then why don't people even try to check, to find, to know if there's some thing in them that may survive? One should use his life to find his very Self, his soul. He who unites with it will never die. And using one's life otherwise, pursuing other goals, is merely a misuse and waste of life.

159

(60) "YOU HAVE TO LOOK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO STUMBLE." "There is no doubt that you ARE, so you should just try and find who, or what, you are in truth, my child; if you've got eyes you needn't go on blind."

(61) THE NEVER ENDING END It is a wish of every man to have a happy end in life. Only a never ending end can truly be a happy one, the end that doesn't end in death but in the knowledge of the Light.

160

(62) WHAT REPENTANCE MEANS IN FACT I would like to tell you here what repentance really means: to be willing and sincere in trying to abandon sin; to try and always persevere with not committing sinful deeds (it would help if one saw clear how bad and harmful they had been). He who does all that will, in the end return to Normal and Natural State only he could be said to repent.

(63) FORGIVENESS ASKED IS FORGIVENESS GRANTED Forgiveness asked is just a sign of forgiveness granted; one has only got to ask he'll get it if he wants it.

161

(64) ONE CANNOT LOOK BOTH UP AND DOWN AT THE SAME TIME As long as one is engrossed in the world he doesn't find the time to try and know his very Self, the very root of all

(65) IGNORANCE IS SIMPLY INATTENTION Ignorance is nothing but the lack of one's attention. Paying heed to one's true being leads to self-realisation.

(66) SPONTANEOUS GIFTS If one lives a life of love the gifts will pour down like a shower the divine gifts of Peace and Bliss, the gifts of divine Light and Power.

162

(67) THE OUTER PEACE DEPENDS ON THE INNER PEACE Peace on earth is only a sweet dream if we don't develop peace within; first we have to find it in ourselves only then the world peace will be real.

(68) USE YOUR TIME TO PENETRATE THE NOW Let Time take away whatever it may; you stick to the Now, where your Self abides! Go deep within it; be wise, don't delay you may not be always young, my friend!

163

(69) WHAT MAKES A SIN DEADLY? A deadly sin is not a thing that calls for death penalty. This is what is bad in it: all the while that one commits acts regarded as such sin he cannot know Reality. One neither deserves execution for committing sinful deeds, nor must he be sent to hell. But sin won't let him know his Self; it'll slow down his soul's evolution, which is hell enough, indeed. Sin is deadly just because it simply doesn't let one see his own Perfection and his own Eternal Immortality.

164

(70) WHAT IS SPIRITUAL LIFE ALL ABOUT, IN FACT? Spiritual life has just one demand: to be what you ARE. All it asks in fact is to be yourself; that is all it takes. That is simply all that makes spiritual life; to a life distinct from that the term does not apply

165

volume IV
written down in the year of the Ox (1997-1998)

166

(1) SUBTRACT INSTEAD OF ADDING "A baloon will take off only when you take off all its burden, not when you add something to its weight." So what should I do, please tell me, if I want to become perfect? "All you're not detach from your true Self! That will be more than enough in fact; there's no need for anything but that."

(2) ONE'S NOT IN A HURRY TO ESCAPE THE SUFFERING HE DOESN'T SEE If you don't notice suffering and pain, whether yours or of somebody else, you will not find the persistence and strength needed to seek and realise your Self.

167

(3) AFTER SWITCHING THE LIGHT ON My friend Sri Padma Jivanmukta is still employed as a servant. What was before, the same will be after chopping wood and carrying the buckets with water

(4) YOUR ATTITUDE IS ALL THAT YOU CAN CHANGE Be so kind and check your interests once more. The things that bring you pain what do you want them for?! Look into the core of the things you crave. Your attitude is all you can really change.

168

(5) SO, IT IS UP TO ME! I am always free to watch the timelessness of my own being, not leaving it its joy and peace by any means. I see all that, but till I act in the course of which I speak all I see and all I say will make no sense.

(6) A WON BET Whoever proves that there is two I'll buy him an ice-cream!

169

(7) MIND AND HEART What is mind? "The thought "I AM"." What is Heart? "The "I AM"-by-itself. There's one more thing one should know better: the former is worthless without the latter."

(8) DO I NEED THE OCCULT POWER? What should I need the occult power for? Could it maybe stop the flow of time? Could it maybe show me my true self? Well, I don't need it in the least if it does none of that!

170

(9) DISCARDED GARMENTS My old and worn-out clothes are scattered all around the world. The things I used to wear lie burnt or burried everywhere. That's only normal all that's past is dust.

(10) EITHER ONE WILL DO The Teacher says to some to run and to become. To others, He says just the same: to recognize and to remain.

(11) THE ESSENCE OF PURITY The feeling of inseparable oneness with all there is and that has ever been, which comes when form and name both disappear, is the highest kind of purity.

171

(12) THE SOUNDLESS, PRIMORDIAL WORD What is OM, that holy word, that sound? The omnipresent, timeless and inseparable One. OM is the root of all possible words. OM connects the Absolute with the relative world; OM is the bridge between Heaven and earth; its meaning is the feeling of "I AM".

(13) WHAT IS PROGRESS? Progress is the cheerful feeling of participation in the Game of living in the world. The knowledge that we are already at our destination is the thing that gives the needed joy.

172

(14) THE SLEEPING SENSE OF HAPPINESS It is not that I'm happy I'm happiness itself! It is my nature, it is my true being! But the sense of it is still fast asleep underneath a thick delusion-sheet. Yet there is not much harm if I do not know that true joy is covered with a sheet, since it cannot leave! It will be with me until, at last, I wake up from my sleep.

(15) THE ONE AS ALL IN ALL You lack nothing; also, you lack none. So, why should the One cry for the One? See the One in you and in the "others" till the notion of "others" is gone.

173

(16) SIMILAR BUT GREATLY DIFFERENT WORDS Apparently one would suppose that I'm a mind-and-body; however, it is obvious I'm neither of them really.

(17) REFUSAL Shapes are moving in the Play well, let them move. But, true, I won't identify with them; I don't desire to. It doesn't mean there will be no Game for me any more there'll be; it won't be able, though, to affect me any more.

174

(18) THE NATURE IS JUST A TOOL OF THE SELF It is in the very nature of a man to act; action is not a thing one can abstain from or prevent. Yet, one should be conscious of the fact that body is a mere tool of the Self. Now, how can one remain happy in each of his actions? What would be the thing to give him joy and satisfaction? To know that he's just a witness to the whole creation, unaffected by its snares but safe in true perfection. Only such a knowledge brings detachment from one's craving for the fruit of actions.

175

(19) THE MAJOR SERMON Which are the things a sermon should have? Let's say that there are three of them: the fact that true perfection does exist; that such perfection anyone can reach; and, at last, the pathway and the means for reaching it.

(20) OVERLEAPING SNARES IN A SIMPLE WAY Being aware of eternal "I AM" you can overcome temptation; don't be scared, it's just a snare of the lower human nature. No matter what happens there just pay to your Self all attention.

176

(21) EMPTINESS, FULL TO THE BRIM Relative "nothing" is absolute "All". That would be the final word on the nature of the Void in which the manifested world disappears and is no more.

(22) LET US GET THIS STRAIGHT! I'm not a poet, I'm only a scribe the only true poet is the Lord. But since we are basically one I sometimes claim some of His fame and merit as mine; and then again, when new lines arrive, I sit to write down His following poem, His following song

177

(23) WHAT IS NEEDED AND WHAT IS NOT Teacher, do You need my awe? "Not in the least: I need your love!"

(24) THE CLOUD IS OF THE NATURE OF THE SKY The Teacher is, say, like the sky and his disciple like a cloud; as long as it imagines that it's separate from the sky it has to wander round, through droughts and storms, changing places, changing forms until it comes to know at last that its own nature is as vast as the sky itself; and, plus, it will come to realise that the sky and it are one. Then, its name and form will go away just his oneness with all things will stay.

178

(25) THE OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS Where is the difference between aspiration and desire? It is only in their goal. Desire is after transient things. Aspiration will, however, take no less but the eternal; it is searching for the soul.

(26) WITNESSING BY BEING The Light is its own witness; there is no "two" in the Light. The Light has got the answer to the question "Who am I?".

179

(27) WHERE IS ANY DIFFERENCE IN ONENESS? All of them tell me again and again that only their Teachers are genuine saviours. They really don't see that the Soul changes bodies in the same fashion that bodies change garments. They say that the teachings of others are either lacking in something or utterly false. Therefore they discard other teachings as useless, though all those in essence are of their own course. They grow old or fat, change their hairstyles, lose health, their whole image changes and even their names. And yet they still call themselves the same persons; they all change their shapes well, the Truth does the same! However, it's certain that they'll see no difference when they realise that all's just one existence.

180

(28) WITHOUT THE MONOPOLY There are many Holy Scriptures, not just one, of course, though they differ in their style and in the choice of words; for they originate from many various traditions and different cultures; they were made in various conditions. The culture is just like a lamp which colours things with light of its own hue; the light itself is colourless or white. The colours differ, but their Source has been only one, of course.

181

(29) NOT EVEN NUANCES Laziness and patience are two completely different things; one must till the soil, yet he must also wait for crop. Enthusiasm is O.K., but overeagerness is not. Do your part with all your heart the time will take care of the rest! Half-hearted efforts will not do, just full surrender to your Self.

182

(30) THE END OF A DICTATION I am the Mother all and the Maker of all. Through one body, in one language this is My last song. I have said all all that I wanted.

183

AFTERWORD The poems written down in this book were written down by Milan Zivkovic from Belgrade, Serbia, born in 1971. At the time when he wrote down this poetry he was still a student of English language, later on he started working in a school as a teacher. The source of his inspiration is in his search for self-realisation and living a spiritual life. After bein strongly inspired by the life and teachings of the Buddha, in 1994 he was initiated by Sri Chinmoy (who was a student of Sri Aurobindo) as a student of Integral Yoga. This is what Sri Aurobindo says on Integral Yoga: There is no method in this Yoga except to concentrate, preferably in the heart, and call the presence and power of the Mother to take up the being and by the workings of her force transform the consiousness. And this is what Sri Chinmoy says on his own philosophy: Our Philosophy is the acceptance of the life for the transformation of life and also for the manifestation of Gods Light here on earth at Gods choice Hour in Gods own Way. These two great spiritual Teachers proved to be more than ordinary human beings even after their death their bodies were exposed to large numbers of people, showing no traces of decay for days after
184

they left their bodies (Sri Aurobindo in 1950, Sri Chinmoy in 2007). There was at least one more Teacher whose influence is clearly felt in these poems and that is Ramana Maharshi (1879-1950). He said that the entire Vedanta (spiritual and philosophic tradition) could be put in four (Indian) words: deham (body), naham (I am not), koham (Who am I?), soham (I am That). Though this now may sound mystical or whatever, in March 1994 Milan had a very powerful and profound dream in which Sri Chinmoy took Milan to be initiated into spiritual life by Sri Aurobindo. Then in December 1996 there was another dream in which Sri Chinmoy told Milan that his spiritual name, the name of his soul, was PAVITRA, meaning purity in Sanskrit language. It may happen, thus, that at some times Milan Zivkovic may be referred to as Pavitra. Some of these poems have been turned into songs for the musical project A SEEKERS REMINDER, and many of them have their counterparts in Milans native language, Serbian. Four books of poetry written down by Milan Zivkovic were published in Serbian: Opis dela Puta, Pesme ma kog tragaoca, Stihovi sa naslovima and Pesme iz godine mira.

185

CONTENTS

A Segment of the Road Described

1. The introduction 2. "The weather is getting worse!" 3. The attempt to understand 4. The decision 5. The starting period: despite the troubles 6. The first signals 7. Out on the road 8. Testing the light 9. The goal is getting clearer 10. The direct approach 11. A would-be reproach 12. An illustration 13. "I am that I AM" an argument 14. "If you are not against me, you are, then, for me." 15. The free choice of the approach 16. The purpose of words 17. "Now, show us the evidence!" 18. Practice 19. The eloquent expression of the unspeakable

5 6 7 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 17 17 21 24 27 29 30 32 33

186

20. The Guide's favour 21. The progress 22. The effort to reach perfection 23. And, yet 24. Who is, then, sincere? 25. Whoever wants it, let him have it! 26. Instead of an epilogue 27. The conclusion

34 37 37 39 41 42 43 44

A Seeker's Lines From Deep Within volume I

(1) The part of the Truth (2) Abandoning the ship (3) The ball and chain (4) (I'm not leaving) the room (5) Perfect equilibrium (6) Teacher, to His lazy hen (7) The crocks upon the heads (8) Burried treasure (9) The progress I make (10) The hymn (11) A little prayer (12) ("Leaves of Grass" in short) (13) Teacher, to a doubtful seeker (14) Find your Teacher 187

45

48 49 49 50 50 50 51 52 52 53 53 53 54 55

(15) Bridle your mind (16) The mirror sonnet (17) Coping with the dangers (18) Patience (19) The torch (or "The difference between finite and Infinite") (20) Training for a lifeguard (21) How could that be? (22) Through matter towards the Spirit (23) The marks of chalk up the wall (24) The hair-trouble (25) "You are That" (26) Having the cup emptied (27) An impossible task (28) A little ode to material progress (29) Kept in the right place (30) The pole (31) The efforts of the Great (32) I will not halt (33) The pendulum (34) The Teacher's only mission (35) Imaginary world (36) The bees inside the open jars (37) As you like it (38) My soul, manifested (39) ("YaHVeH") (40) The spring of happiness (41) In the dawn of my detachment life (42) The human Aim (43) Be like a child 188

56 56 57 59 60 61 63 63 64 65 66 66 67 69 70 71 72 74 75 76 77 77 79 79 79 80 81 83 83

(44) Evolving (45) "Know yourself" (46) The lines for a bold seeker (47) Not an easy task (48) Some kind of choice, I guess (49) "Your Will Be Done" (50) The seeker's note

84 84 85 88 98 101 104

volume II (1) The waves on the surface (2) Ingredients (or "When is a lemonade bad?") (3) The definitions (4) Not at all as it seems (5) (The wooden bat education) (6) The easiest task possible (or, at least, the most natural one!) (7) "I am that I AM!" (8) That, minus name and form (9) The only one worth asking (and answering, of course!) (10) A most normal thing (11) The only reason we are born for (12) The one and the same (13) A small favour (14) The real "I am" (15) The most that words can tell (16) A letter in my Teacher's book 189 107 112 113 113 114 114 115 115 116 116 116 117 117 118 118 119

(17) When all of us see (18) I wonder how come I even bear it (19) Nevertheless (20) Always now and always here (21) Hridaya (or the nature of the spiritual Heart) (22) Desirelessness and fearlessness (23) That which cannot be denied (24) The matter of choice (25) The importance of being earnest (26) The poem of all poems (27) Forever pure and free (or "The subject, seeking itself as an object")

119 119 120 120 121 121 121 122 122 124 125

volume III
(1) Why bother about the expressions? (2) The Mother's kind reproach (3) When all the difference disappears (4) A perfect pair of one (5) Giving up the lesser for the Highest (6) Our self-created bondage (7) Perfection lies in the relief from craving (8) The need for effort is slowly fading (9) Reaching beyond the apparent world (10) Until the final answer (11) The most beautiful line that I have ever written down (12) Dreaming I'm in bondage 190 127 128 128 129 129 129 130 130 131 131 132 133

(13) It's easy when you really want it (14) The tears because of fiction (15) The ultimate witness (16) Find the source of the "I-thought" (17) You are already all you ought to be! (18) Thoughts are just like waves (19) Good reasons (and good synonyms!) for patience (20) Sloth is contrary to spirituality (21) Effortless being (22) Minding one's own business (23) Burdened with the nonexistent burden (24) Want it or not, I'm free (25) The self-evident proof (26) but I know that much, at least (27) "That is what you say, not Me!" (28) It would be absurd (29) A jewel beneath the soil is still a jewel (30) Half-hearted aspiration doesn't work (31) Don't leave your Self! (32) "You know where you will find Me!" (33) The eternal, timeless Now (34) The short-cut to my treasure (35) The fear of the Real (36) A matter of the moment (37) The only knowledge needed (38) Knowing and not just supposing (39) The opposite views to the one (40) Heaven and hell (41) Harmless nightmare 191

134 134 135 135 136 136 137 137 138 138 138 139 140 140 141 141 142 142 143 143 144 145 145 146 146 147 147 148 148

(42) Not much of a life (43) If we didn't look in the wrong direction (44) Let it go, so that it lets you go (45) No-one can help being the Self (46) Both results are equal (47) The Real is only in the Now (48) To recognize the dream as just a dream (49) A prayer to the Divine Mother (50) Do not allow yourself to be deceived! (51) The courage to accept the Real (52) Life is not the same thing as mere living (53) Gratitude and constant joy are one and the same (54) The Teacher is only my soul embodied (55) What are the genuine joy and happiness like? (56) The only real and constant factor (57) Let's realise the obvious, at least! (58) Regardless of the appearance (59) The proper use of life is to seek the immortal Delight (60) "You have to look if you don't want to stumble." (61) The never ending end (62) What repentance means in fact (63) Forgiveness asked is forgiveness granted

149 149 150 150 151 151 152 152 153 153 154 155 155 156 157 158 158 159 160 160 161 161

192

(64) One cannot look both up and down at the same time (65) Ignorance is simply inattention (66) Spontaneous gifts (67) The outer peace depends on the inner peace (68) Use your time to penetrate the Now (69) What makes a sin deadly? (70) What is spiritual life all about, in fact?

162 162 162 163 163 164 165

volume IV
(1) Subtract instead of adding (2) One's not in a hurry to escape the suffering he doesn't see (3) After switching the light on (4) Your attitude is all that you can change (5) So, it is up to me! (6) A won bet (7) Mind and Heart (8) Do I need the occult power? (9) Discarded garments (10) Either one will do (11) The essence of purity (12) The soundless, primordial Word (13) What is progress? (14) The sleeping sense of happiness (15) The one as all in all (16) Similar but greatly different words 193 167 167 168 168 169 169 170 170 171 171 171 172 172 173 173 174

(17) Refusal (18) The nature is just a tool of the Self (19) The major sermon (20) Overleaping snares in a simple way (21) Emptiness, full to the brim (22) Let us get this straight! (23) What is needed and what is not (24) The cloud is of the nature of the sky (25) The opposite directions (26) Witnessing by being (27) Where is any difference in oneness? (28) Without the monopoly (29) Not even nuances (30) The end of a dictation AFTERWORD CONTENTS

174 175 176 176 177 177 178 178 179 179 180 181 182 183 184 186

all gratitude and merits to the Teacher

194