blog **** Californication: Hank s Letter to Becca Posted on January 22, 2011 by rumcakeandrawdenim I love Californication.

It gets to the heart of being an artist, a writer, a fla wed human being. After years of making mistakes, the second episode of Season 4 found Hank writing a letter to his daughter, desperate for her forgiveness and u nderstanding. I ve transcribed that letter here because I was unable to find it on line. I hope it touches you as it touched me. To my dear beautiful daughter, I m writing you a letter. That s right, a good old fashioned letter. It s a lost art, really. I have a confession to make. I didn t like you very much at first. You wer e just this annoying little blob. You smelled nice, most of the time, but you di dn t seem to have much interest in me, which I of course found vaguely insulting. It was just you and your mom against the world. Funny how some things never chan ge. So I cruised along, doing my thing, acting the fool Not really understanding how being a parent changes you. And I don t remember the exact moment everything chang ed, I just know that it did. One minute I was impenetrable, nothing could touch me. The next, my heart was somehow beating outside my chest, exposed to the elem ents. Loving you has been the most profound, intense, painful experience of my life. I n fact, it s been almost too much to bear. As your father, I made a silent vow to protect you from the world, never realizing I was the one who would end up hurti ng you the most. When I flash forward, my heart breaks, mostly because I can t ima gine you speaking of me with any sort of pride. How could you? Your father is a child in a man s body. He cares for nothing and everything at the same time. Noble in thought, weak in action. Something has to change. Something has to give. It s getting dark, too dark to see. ********************************* ************************************ Dear, karen... If you're reading this, it means I actually worked up the courage to mail it. So , good for me. You don't know me very well but you get me started, I have a tend ency to go on and on about how hard the writing is for me. But this...this is th e hardest thing I've ever had to write. There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it. I met someone. It was an a ccident. I wasn't looking for it. I wasn't on the make. It was a perfect storm. She said one thing. I said another. Next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the res t of my life in the middle of that conversation. Now there's this feeling in my gut. She might be the one. She's completely nuts...in a way that makes me smile -- highly neurotic. A great deal of maintenance required. She is you, karen. That's the good news. The bad is that I don't know how to be with you right now. And it scares the shi t out of me. Because if I'm not with you right now, I have this feeling we'll get lost out there. It's a big, bad world full of twists and turns, and people have a way of blinking and missing the mome nt...the moment that could've changed everything. I don't know what's going on w ith us, and I can't tell you why you should waste

a leap of faith on the likes of me...but, damn, you smell good -- like home. And you make excellent coffee. That's got to count for something, right? Call me. Unfaithfully yours, hank moody. ************************************************************ ************************************************************ fuck. is the word hank types on his laptop in the last frame of the pilot episod e of californication. i too start my pilot blog typing it coz thats how i feel b efore writing this. one of my close friend has been on my neck for a long time t o write, oops blog something but couldnt decide the topic or what would i say bu t i recently discovered californication and fucking loved. not in'the love at fi rst sight'way but definitely 'u complete me' kind. well what can i say about cali to people who havent seen it yet... its a show ab out hank moody, a writer, an artist & a flawed human being which is why moi & al most many of the fans (i would like to think so) identify with him & the show. m istakes happen & we do whatever we can to mend them and move forward but sometim es we do end up stuck in the same spiral not knowing how to get out & after a c ertain time it almost becomes your identity. in this case hank's. The writers of cali are awe-fucking-some. i'm no writer but all them dialogues a re profound.also really witty and there are some at the end of which you go "woo oaaah, thats deep man". also it somehow gets the whole aura of what i think california is all about