'BOYS WILL BE BOYS'

A workshop toolbox for tackling dominant masculinity, sexism and heteronormativity with young people.

PUTTING AN END TO:

Introduction
'As far as I'm concerned, being any gender is a drag.' Patti Smith
Working with young people, especially those who are in the process of traversing the gap between 'child' and 'adult', often means encountering a multitude of disruptive and damaging ideas of gender, femininity and masculinity. Behaviour which can be homophobic, violent, competitive, sexist or otherwise nasty is too often shrugged off with a phrase like 'boys will be boys', or at worse, actively encouraged as an embodiment of what being 'manly' means. As peers, educators and youth workers it can be difficult to counteract this extremely pervasive and dominating view. Tackling issues surrounding gender and sexuality often becomes a taboo, something marginalised in favour of more 'pressing' issues, or is left unnoticed. This small pack is a starting point aimed at stopping that. Young people regularly seem extremely concerned with amplifying and assuming particular roles based around gender, I know I was, but this is because they are at a key moment in equating themselves with the (resoundingly problematic) cultural norms of our time. It is our responsibility to show that another world is possible, one where patriarchy and sexism are not force fed to children from birth, where capitalism is not allowed to thrive on the oppressive structures of homophobic and genderprescribing hierarchies which it then regenerates, where boys 'being boys' is never an excuse for behaviour none of us would wish to see. These workshops were originally formulated as part of a creative working group at Queer Easter 2011, a seminar held by the IFM at Jugendbildungsttte Kurt Lwenstein, Berlin, with over 100 young people from around the world. They are intended not as one coherent session, but as a starting point and a springboard from which you can plan and organise workshops that would fit with your groups and your young people. We hope to collate such ideas for a more general resource as time passes, please send new activities, feedback and resources of your own in to us!

ysd

Blue Skies, Joel White - DF Committee

Man! I feel like a woman!

Partly borrowed from the 18.-25.4.2011 Queer Easter mail out.

These are useful definitions to come back to, and generally what I mean when I use them in the pack. Gender refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviour, activities and attributes that a particular society considers appropriate for men and women. Gender equality refers to the equal valuing of the roles of women and men. It works to overcome the barriers of stereotypes and prejudices so that both sexes are able to equally contribute to and benefit from economic, social, cultural and political developments within society. Heteronormativity is the cultural bias in favour of opposite-sex relationships of a sexual nature, and against same-sex relationships of a sexual nature. Because the former are viewed as normal and the latter are not, lesbian and gay relationships are subject to a heteronormative bias. LGBTQ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer. The word queer has undergone several changes in the last century. It initially meant strange or odd and was in the early 20th century first used to mean homosexual. It was originally, and often still is, a deliberately offensive and aggressive term when used by heterosexual people. Recently, however, many LGBT people have taken the word queer and used positively it instead of gay or homosexual. In Queer theory queer is less an identity than a critique of identity and existentialist sexual identity. But Queer is as well used as a new identity category opposing straight. In this sense Queer is used as a sexual orientation and/or gender identity or gender expression that does not conform to heteronormative society. Masculinity is a prescriptive set of norms based around a hierarchy of social ideals. It means placing the ideal of a perfect 'man' in direct competition with other 'men', whilst always kept well above that of 'woman' and the traits assigned to her. It is patriarchy personified. It is chauvinism, belief in male superiority, machismo and 'virility'. It does not allow for a plurality of identities or sexualities, encouraging the internal and external destruction of any feelings, desires or ideas which do not fit with the linear roles of 'masculine' and 'feminine'.* Structural sexism is a form of systematic discrimination, exploitation and oppression of mainly women in the society. On the one hand it is a range of negative attitudes, feelings,ideologies, discourses and practices. On the other hand, sexism is connected to masculinist social gender relations and social structures. Structural sexism is responsible for power relations, divisions of labour, emotional and symbolic relations that tend to place women and femininity and some marginalized forms of masculinity in low social positions. Structural sexism goes far beyond gender relations and has to be understood in its intersections with racism and class relations. The strategies and theories against sexism and domination of masculinity form the feminist struggles and movements.
*Though attempts have been made to reclaim and re-shape the term, this would seem to avoid an utter reversal of all the concept's main elements and past exemplifications.

Some Definitions

An opening exercise.

What does Age 13-21 years Masculinity Duration 20 minutes Group size 5-30 mean Objectives To come up with some initial ideas and to you? debate about the concept of 'masculinity'.

To challenge gendered stereotypes Materials Paper and pens Breakdown: Each participant writes silently on a piece of paper. The notes are then folded, collected and randomly redistributed - so that each participant has a new note to read aloud around the circle. Discuss recurring words, ideas and themes - negative or positive? neither? How do these relate to femininity? Focus on physicality and bodies? Or on skills and roles? Other?

Dummy Man and Dummy Woman

1. Draw two stick people on two large bits of paper and label one man and one woman. 2. Get them to fill it in with all the things, stereotypes included, that they associate with masculinity and femininity. 3. How do the different qualities compare in terms of positive and negative values? How do you think these expectations affect what men and women do in life? How do you think they affect how we interact with each other? Or our relationships?

Folding Gender Game

Age 13-21 years Duration 30 minutes Group size 5-30 Objectives To challenge dominant ideas of gender and expose our own distorted views of 'male' and 'female' roles. To facilitate a discussion about what different ideas of gender could and should be in a humorous way. Materials Paper and pens 1. Each participant gets another sheet of paper. They are rearranged to be sat `boy / girl` 2.They are told to draw a head at the top of the sheet which corresponds to their idea of their gender - girls draw a girls head. This is folded, with some neck showing for the next bit of drawing, and the paper passed one person to the left. A torso, from Neck till waist, is then drawn, still with boys drawing a boys torso and girls a girls. This is followed by the legs, then feet, then a suitable name. Each time the paper is folded and the new part is added without being able to see the preceding ones. 3. The papers are mixed up, redistributed and each participant introduces their drawing to the group. 4. Discussion about how we create and project ideas of gender. What are the recurring things people draw in order to extenuate a gender? What are the differences between these drawings? How do we create and project these ideas ourselves? Alternatively, this activity can be done using two sides of a freestanding board, with two participants drawing their 'portion' of the person in front of a crowd, before folding them up and someone new adding the next 'portion'.

4. Role Model Role Play.

Age 13-21 years Duration 30 minutes Group size 5-20 Objectives Talk about what a 'Role Model' is and how we prescribe to different 'Roles' ourselves. Materials Post-it notes and pens. 1. Each participant secretly writes their role model on a post-it note. 2. Facilitator then distributes the post-it notes randomly, sticking one on each participants forehead. 3. Participants have to try and work out who they are by asking questions of each other, without looking at their own post-it note. 4. Once everyone has discovered their post-it note identity, the notes are re-distributed. 5. This time, each participant has to act out their person silently, like charades, for the rest of the group. 6. Once a character is discovered, the person who wrote it has a chance to explain why they decided such a person was their role model, though they can remain silent if they wish. 7. Follow up with a discussion about what makes a role model and how this links to roles which are gendered. Is gender important for a role model? Do the role models enforce particular ideas of gender? How do they link into previous discussions about femininity and masculinty?

Drama 'Strap on a Pair'

Age 13-21 years Duration 30 minutes Group size 5-20 Objectives To challenge common phrases which reinforce dominant masculinity, through drama. Materials Paper, pens and space for drama. 1. Split the group into smaller groups and give each a phrase `man up` `stop being a girl` ``I`m not a housemaid` `That is girl`s work` 'dont be gay about it' etc 2. Each group to prepare a short performance which puts this phrase into a situation they could or have experienced in their daily lives. 3. Either stop the performances during and ask how the performers might feel, or talk about it after each performance Questions for discussion: How much of our ideas of femininity and masculinity is a 'performance'? How would you deal with a situation where someone said a phrase like that which offended you or you felt was unacceptable? How can we challenge people who enforce dominant and negative stereotypes of gender without simply casting them out of a group?

A closing activity
'Boys wont be boys', or; You dont need Gender to be nice, You shouldnt use Gender to be nasty.
1. Either by looking back at the 'Dummies' from the previous activity, or simply through a discussion, talk about what character traits the participants feel are valuable, or make up the kind of human being they would want to be. 2. Write these into a new, non-gendered dummy. 3.Discuss: Do these character traits, these concepts, seem like the kinds of things that should be attached or limited to either 'male' or 'female'? How do we make sure that we dont allow gender stereotypes to dictate our lives? How do we all strive to work towards these positive principles in a way that is not defined or limited by our gender or sexuality?

Further resources
1.Two great workshop in the Compasito, more to follow! 'Once upon a time' http://eycb.coe.int/compasito/chapter_4/4_19.asp 'Boys Dont Cry' http://eycb.coe.int/compasito/chapter_4/4_7.asp 2. Gender Matters http://www.eycb.coe.int/gendermatters/chapter_2/1.html 3. Sheryl Plant 'Deconstructing Masculinity' http://www.thefword.org.uk/features/2006/02/deconstructing_masculinity 4. Queer Easter http://www.queereaster.net/ http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=9560766508 The text was edited by Joel White with the help of the wonderful Martha Julings. Clipart from http://etc.usf.edu/clipart/