Communication Skills ELE205

Chapter three

Effective Listening

Mohammad R. Rawashdeh

Outline- lec.1
Why listening is important?? Hearing VS listening Types of listening Why bad listening occur?

Listening is important
85% of what we know we have learned by listening. We remember only 20% of what we hear Less than 2% of us have had any formal educational experience with listening Being listened to spells the difference between feeling accepted and feeling isolated

Listening is important
When we fail to demonstrate our listening skills, we may damage our personal and occupational relationships with others. People are fired, customer are lost and working relationship are strained , friendship suffer, marriage and families fail

Listening is important
When we do listen and are listened to, we experience a confirming connection that brings about shared understanding, which is the goal of effective communication. In fact, we spend 50% of our communication listening, estimate listening efficiency reach 25%, then we miss of what we hear

Hearing VS. Listening

The term listening has different meanings for different people: - Listening involve paying attention and maintaining eye contact - Remembering what has been said word-for- word - Reading between lines None of them contains all elements of the effective listening

Hearing VS. Listening

Hearing is sensory process that includes: Conversion of acoustical energy Sound reception Auditory sensation Transfer to the brain Listening is a mental process that includes: Choosing to attend (mentally & physically) Understanding thoughts and feelings Confirming meaning Responding appropriately

Hearing VS. Listening

Technicians of all kinds use Hearing skills to monitor procedures. Judge the smoothness of operations or locate problems. They hear whirs, pings, screeches, pops,..etc, hearing these sounds can trigger the listening process to begin. After recognition of aural stimuli, they can decide whether the sound deserve attention or not Hearing involves the physical recognition of sound

Hearing VS. Listening

Listening can defined in terms of the following elements: Attending to the speaker (mentally and physically) -Assigning meaning of both the verbal and non- verbal messages -Verifying accurate understanding of these messages -Evaluating the importance of message -And finally, responding appropriately.

Hearing: involves the physical recognition of sound.

Types of Listening
1. Discriminative: listening to distinguish auditory and/or visual stimuli (receptive stage, discriminating between different sound & sight) 2. Comprehensive: listening to understand a message (lecture, conference, film, make sense) 3. Therapeutic: listening to provide a troubled sender with the opportunity to talk through a problem

Types of Listening
4. Critical: listening to understand and evaluate the message inferences (to judge, separating facts, drawing conclusions, used in negotiations, making decisions) 5. Appreciative: listening to obtain sensory stimulation or enjoyment through the works and experiences of others (music, poetry, words of a great leader)

Listening Tree

critical

appreciative

therapeutic

comprehensive

Discriminative listening

Minimize Bad listening habits..

Bad listening occurs.. Because we are poorly trained to listen Through our formal education, we offered learn reading, speaking, writing and rarely listening.

Minimize Bad listening habits..

Bad listening occurs.. Mistaken belief that because we are bombarded with an overwhelming number of messages daily Radio commercials scream at us as we drive to work; machines grind, whir, and hum the noises of production; (External distraction)

Minimize Bad listening habits..

Bad listening occurs.. Because we disagree with speaker. When we doubt what the speaker is saying, when we begin to formulate a response before the speaker has concluded, or when we are preoccupied with our own personal problems. (Internal distraction) Because we tolerate distractions

Minimize Bad listening habits..

Bad listening occurs.. Because we overreact to emotional words (we can not listen if we are angry, happy) Our listening effectiveness drops as our emotional responses increases. Listing to a speaker who is against you (in beliefs, attitudes,..) is difficult. Emotional control: not easy to be achieved, but essentially for successful listening.

Minimize Bad listening habits..

Bad listening occurs.. Because we waste our thought- speed advantage (i.e. we think faster than we talk. We must give ourselves the chance to understand the message completely) :
Daydreaming Plan Take mental holidays Or worry Allow our mind to wonder

Minimize Bad listening habits..

Bad listening occurs.. To overcome: We must become aware of the problem. We must find out what cause the problem and follow steps to solve them. To improve listening, learn new listening skills and habits.

Outline-lec.2
Interrupt non- verbal behavior. Listening tools: - Attending tools - Remembering tools - Evaluating tools - Responding tools

Nonverbal behavior.
To understand the total message we must receive both verbal and non verbal components.

Nonverbal strengthen message.

message or

can the

replace, verbal

contradict

Nonverbal Behaviors
In face-to-face situation, factors such as

distance, body orientation, eye contact, posture and others can provide information.

Nonverbal Behaviors
Non-verbal communication can be classified into several categories: 1.Kinesics 2.Proxemics 3.Chronemics 4.Touch 5.Appearance

Nonverbal Behaviors
Kinesics: refers to many behaviors of the body, Ex. : posture, gesture, body orientation, facial expressions and eye behavior

Nonverbal Behaviors
Proxemics includes the following elements: 1.Language of space (culture bounded) 2.Distance 3.Territory 4. space

Nonverbal Behaviors
Proteomics is the study of set measurable distances between people as they interact.

Nonverbal Behaviors

Territory: our relationship to fixed space such as favorite chair at home, our work place.

Nonverbal Behaviors

We need to be aware of others personal space, territories and distance when we communicate at work

Nonverbal Behaviors
Chronemics:
Is the study of the use of time in communication. The way we perceive time, structure our time and react to time is a powerful communication tool, and helps set the stage for the communication process.

Nonverbal Behaviors
Chronemics (our sensation of time):
How much time it takes to communicate the message? Cultural difference and individuals sensation of time Focusing on multiple things at one time Focusing on single things at one time

Nonverbal Behaviors
Touch:
Touch can share a rang of feeling from warm feeling to a congratulatory to a push way. (pay attention, I am here, move over) Touch behavior must be interpreted in light of culture, status, gender, and personality.

Nonverbal Behaviors
Appearance: includes the body, clothing and possessions/belonging. People assign meanings to our body types, skin color, manner of dress, hair style and accessories we display. For example tattoos, and noise ring. Is only a part of the total message & may work to reinforce it or contradict it.

Listening tools:
Listening tools includes: A. Attending tools B. Remembering tools C. Evaluating tools D. Responding tools

Listening tools:
A) Attending tools includes: 1. Attitudes. 2.Attending behaviors. 3.Emotional control.

Listening tools:
A) Attending tools: The central (positive) attitude important to listening is effectively is I WANT to understand you and other positive attitudes: I want to avoid distractions I want to hear before I judge

Listening tools:
Actions associated with good attending behavior includes: 1.eye contact that is appropriate in duration, frequency and intensity 2.Body postures that reflect your interest (back off chair, slight forward lean and body orientations) 3.Distance that is suitable for the message being shared (personal, social or public)

Listening tools:
Suggestions to follow when attending a talk: Stop talking, ( you cant listen & talk @ the same time) Hear the speaker out, (wait until the speaker has
completed his message before offering a response).

Tune out distractions, or minimize as much as you can ( all; internal, external, )

Listening tools:
4.Develop an open mind tolerance of ideas. Dont lose your cool, (stop mentally debating
with the speaker before you fully understand what is being said )

5.Take advantage of though speed (review what said,

relate to your experience & predict the speaker next thought)

Outline-lec.3
Listening tools: - Attending tools - Remembering tools - Evaluating tools - Responding tools

Listening tools:
B) Remembering tools: (after paying attention to the speaker) We remember information more easily when: 1. 2. 3. 4. Meaningful, useful and of interest to us Out of ordinary Organized Visual

Listening tools:
B) Remembering tools: Lyman suggests memory techniques steps:
1. 2. 3. Repeating (paraphrasing and restating the meaning) Linking (link first to the second and so on) Picturing (mental image for the location being described, good for directions) 4. Grouping (phone number)

Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools: 1.Separate facts from interference. 2. Detect logical fallacies. 3. Be sensitive to biased language.

Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools: (As the attentive listener gains an understanding of the total message, the critical listening process begins) The critical listener sorts facts from interferences, detects logical fallacies, spots relative terms, & maintains emotional control

Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools: Facts:
Made after observation based on observable sense data (smell, touch, hear, see). Only about present or past not future. Stay with observation Objective & devoid o any interpretations, conclusions, or assumptions, like observing a man with tattoo.

Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools: 1.Separate facts from interference: Inferences
Made at any time (past , present or at future) Go beyond observation Unlimited in scope (include assumption, conclusion and interruption)

Listening tools:
Example:
Sandy and pat, both data processors, are especially good at their jobs. There combine experience totals some 30 years. They are reliable , hardworking , and very strong individuals. In fact, sandy lifts weight for a hobby, and pat plays basketball

Listening tools:
Example:
This story concerns two men ? T F F

Sandy and pat are both hard workers? T Sandy is handicapped? T F

Pat and sandy are married to each other? T Sandy never lifted weights? T F

Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools: 2. Detect logical fallacies:
Faulty causation: when coincidental events are seen as having a cause effect relationship Either or thinking: presents 2 alternatives when, in fact, many more possibilities exist; there is many possible alternatives,( look for other possibilities that may not be stated)

Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools: 2. Detect logical fallacies:
Hasty generalization: few samples used to represent the whole of the conclusion Circular reasoning: restating to prove your idea without evidence Comparison: you must look for differences not only similarities

Listening tools:
C) Evaluating tools: 3. Be sensitive to biased language: Critical listener must be aware of relative terms that cloud the exact meaning of a message and may create misunderstanding

Listening tools:
D) Responding tools: (In addition of attitudes,
the listener must choose how to respond to message received) 1. Evaluating:

Judge: right, wrong, good, bad. Ex: That was stupid, Thats right, Advice: Offer advice, share solutions. Ex: why dont you..?, if I were you, you really should.

Listening tools:
D) Responding tools:
2. Interrupting :Explains or teaches. This response explains why something happens by adding information not stated in the original problem. Ex: You may feel that way because., Maybe the reason of this problem is

Listening tools:
D) Responding tools:
3. Supporting: reassure and comfort to make people feel better, cheer them up, offer help or encouragement. Ex: look at the progress you have made., I am sure things will be better.

Listening tools:
D) Responding tools:
4. Questioning: probes, clarifies, or seeking more information. Two types: closed questions (yes or no), open questions (more than yes or no). 5. Paraphrasing : Summarizes, restates or reflects. Shows your understanding by your own words . Ex: if I understand you, you have. In other words..

-----------------------See page 55

End of chapter 3 Any question?