Friendship…

Love…

Propose…?
If you too are going on the same path….

You got to read this!

The content of this document has been suitably modified for public viewing…
Statistical Approach towards proposing a girl.....
"..................if it is so.... then ask her about it dude......! In worst case she will say

'NO'.....but still you have got fifty percent chances.........!"

This one is a common moral boosting (?) statement in the masculine lobby. It is a common assumption
that whenever you ask any girl about getting married to you, you are at 50% risk. This is a universally
accepted misconception.... Here is WHY!

The very first thing that most of the boys don’t take into account is 'THE THIRD ANSWER....!' Yes! It is
absolutely true. Apart from the sweet YES and Bitter NO, there lies another answer with almost equal
probability... and that answer is all synonyms of 'LATER'!

Many girls, who are not sure about the answer..... or who are not sure about you...or as in many cases
not sure about what exactly they want themselves… answer your proposal in the synonyms of later... for
example:

1. I need some time to think... (most popular with 75% occurrences)

2. Isn't it a bit early...??

3. Let me know you first....! (which most of the times means... in your dreams!)

With such answers, the confused female human being in front of you puts you on HOLD! So with this,
we can divide the answers into three parts, YES and its forms, NO and its forms and the synonyms of
LATER, with the probability distribution as 33%, 33% and 34% respectively... (Actually the occurrences of
the last answer are more frequent than that of other two, but for the sake of statistical considerations
we are awarding that answer only 1% extra. also we are hereby eliminating personal bias if any!)

Now we will consider the THIRD answer for further analysis....There are equal chances of YES and NO in
this zone... but, let me tell you about the hidden risks.

The moment you hear the answers stated above in the 'synonyms of later' column, the inherent
property of the masculine gender to impress women just dozes off..! Yes! That’s right... when you get
the third answer, you feel like...."...at least she didn't say no directly on my face...".Damn!

The very moment this kind of feeling touches your brain... the 34% risk comes in action. After hearing
the third answer, you decide that you will surely make her say yes. Your Fun centre inside the brain
starts deteriorating. To gain some more points from her, you quit all the so called bad habits (in the
views of majority Indian type girls) like drinking, smoking, tobacco if at all and the most important....
watching other girls! Whatever be the place, the control section of your mind is always occupied by that
girl. You keep fearing (ha ha!!) that what if she comes to know about this... With this your life gets
punctured! You just cannot LIVE your life in the views of all of your old friends (Yes again! It’s true…
when somebody falls in love; the male friends become old friends!). Late night over-the-normal-time
calls keep pushing your telephone bill up and up and your performance...down and down.

In short, the third answer, which has got the probability of 34% has indirectly 100% risk factor involved.
Now with this discussion, the total risk factor in proposing a girl becomes 34% + 33% = 67 %

Now let’s take the most desirable answer for further analysis. The most beloved answer..."YES!"
Whenever a girl says "yes" she actually means… "Yes...but for some time, till I find any fault in you or till
I get a better guy!" The intensity of this hidden meaning increases exponentially with the exterior looks
of girl and ***some text deleted*** and many such other things, minimum value being 50% risk to
maximum 100% risk in case of some really beautiful girls with high *** some text deleted***.
Considering the average of above two extreme values, 75% risk, to maintain your relationship as it is,
you have to get your life "Ruined." This situation is even worse than that occurred in previous case. In
earlier case, it was limited to "not looking at any other girl..." but here it goes to the extreme like..."not
even thinking of any other girl!" You are absolutely not left with any choice in front, other than the one
in your front!! This adds up another 5% risk factor in terms of future prospects.

So, even though sweet, it readily involves the risk factor of total 75% + 5% = 80%, which is 33 X 0.8 =
26.4 % of the total, approximated to be 27%. So, even if she says YES.... the risk factor involved is now,
67% + 27% = 94%..

Now we move a bit further with optimistic 6% cases left with us.... These are the cases when boys can
think of ruling over...

There is no human being on this earth, who can understand a girl of age 0-75 completely... not even the
girls themselves. This statement is partially valid for the rare cases of girls mostly found in the age group
70-75. The scientific reason for that is explained as under:

Female Brains contain as many functional neurons as the number of cells present in their hearts. On the
other hand, Male brains have got more neurons in the brain than the number of cells in the heart.
(Note: Number of neurons and intelligence relations are beyond the scope of this article!). So, with a
tug-of-war for dominance between girls' brain cells and heart cells results in two points of origin of
thoughts, which makes the final result of their thinking confusing to themselves! On the other hand,
male brains dominate the heart in terms of number of cells present, giving only one rigidly defined
origin of thoughts. The confusion caused by the two different streams of thinking can be observed by
studying the girls' typing skills... The unnecessary shortening of spellings and on the other hand,
extending the non-important words are the symptoms of this confusion. It will be clear after studying
following example:

e.g. A conversation between Pooja and Rahul

Pooja: hieeeeeeeeeeeeeee whts up?

Rahul: Hello there. Busy with my work, Pooja.

Pooja: o!!!!!! u do so mch wrk no tim 4 me only

Rahul [considering the above reply as a route to “dating advantage” stage]: I’ve been busy like a
pregnant ant carrying a maple leaf. How about we grab a burger and some coffee in the evening, if you
are free?

Pooja: heeeeheeheeee ve to cmplt ths rprt n snd it by evng. :`(

Rahul: I’ll do it for you. No problem. Send me the template and the data.

Pooja: ooooooww cho chweettttttttttttttttt 6pm cmpus ccd ok?

Rahul [drooling]: Sure.

Pooja: c u thr bieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

So if you propose a girl and move on with her, you come to know her internal properties (do not
misunderstand!) slowly and slowly. So, when you come to know about her such properties, you can
think of four possible ways.

1. She suits my nature...

2. She actually doesn't suit, but I can manage with her

3. Our thoughts differ… but I can change her

4. Our thoughts just don’t match... just f***some text deleted***!!!

We give equal importance to all four for the sake of statistical analysis. So it implies 1.5% to each option.

If you go for option number four, the risk of proposing was involved earlier but was hidden. So, this
hidden risk directly adds up to the total risk. So now, the total risk factor is 94% + 1.5% = 95.5%

If you go for option number three, you will fail miserably. To solve the problem, it is essential to know
the problem completely. As stated above, to analyze your problem completely, you have to call for help
from extraterrestrial experts, either from mars or from some other galaxy. The chances of finding such
an expert are again 50% and the probability, of him understanding the problem is again 50% of
remaining 50%. In highly optimistic case, if that extraterrestrial expert succeeds in understanding your
problem, the chances of getting solution are again 50% of remaining 50%, which almost turn out to be
negligible in statistical aspects. So, option number three will indirectly add 1.5% more risk, making the
total 97%

If you go for option number two, with your abilities to surrender, you two will make the happiest couple
in the world, with probability of occurrences 1.5% in which you cannot live freely… so we consider it as
50% failure of proposal, making the total risk 97% + 0.5 X 1.5% = 97.75 %
If option number one becomes practical in your case, you will be the happiest man in entire
universe....but again this has got probability of only 1.5 %. This means, only one lucky guy out of 66.66
can become happy after proposing a girl. If we study the population of India, a child is born every 3
seconds, which makes logical sense that a new marriage is taking place every 3 seconds (based on 1
child per family plan of the ruling party in India. Actual values may differ, depending upon the efforts
(wow!) taken to produce the outcome!). Considering average Indian Male and Female mentality, 75 %
marriages are arranged by family members. Thus, this implies a boy proposes a girl to marry him every
12 seconds. With this success rate (one out of sixty seven), by the time you finish reading this, your
chance might have gone!!

So the article is hereby concluded as…..

So don’t get into frustration.....

Follow Indian tradition....

Marry to your mom's selection....

The probability of success in marriages is under study....

Note: since this research is based on statistical approach, author suggests not using this as a reference for further research!

Posted by:

Aashutosh Kulkarni