The Impacts of Autism on the Family
By Rachel Evans
Having a child who has been diagnosed
with autism can be a particularly
challenging time for any family. The
emotional roller coaster lurches from
disbelief, anger, relief at finally having an
explanation for your childs unusual
behavior, guilt, surprise, helplessness,
devastation, understanding, and so the list
goes on.
Then there are the more practical
questions too, what sort of treatment is
available, what are the education options,
what level of care will be required, how
will this effect other siblings, parental
relationships and financially, what will the
effect be?
Parents bear the brunt of the family
responsibility with mothers often feeling
the impact of their childs autism more
personally than others. Coping with an
autistic child can lead to difficulties
between parents with each playing a
blame game. This can lead to a
breakdown of the relationship, but
researchers have found that this is no
more likely than for families without
autistic children.
Raising an autistic child is challenging and
can be exhausting without support. As the
main role in bringing up children usually
falls to the mother, they may experience
additional emotional stress. This can
impact on not only relationships between
parents, but also performance at work,
which can lead to feeling of resentment or
possibly have a financial impact if they are
forced to change working hours and
responsibilities to fit in around childcare.
An autistic brother or sister also impacts
on other siblings. You may notice their
autistic sibling embarrasses them, they
may be reluctant to bring friends home or
be jealous of the amount of time you
spend with their brother/sister. On the
other hand, there are some positives,
siblings may develop strong feelings of
protectiveness for their brother/sister and
take an interest in their development.
Discussing with other siblings about their
expected role, if any, in the future care of
an autistic child is a good idea as most
older children will start to wonder what
their responsibilities might be as parents
get older. Having an open and honest
discussion with all your children about
future care is important so that siblings
are not worrying unnecessarily.
Grandparents are also effected by an
diagnosis of autism. They can feel a loss of
a ‘normal’ grandchild and will often worry
and experience stress on behalf of the
parents. Grandparents can be a huge help
when caring for autistic children, but they
can also hinder too, no matter how well
meaning their intentions.
So, what can you do about reducing the
impact on the family?
Take time out
It is vital for parents to take some time for
themselves to recharge their relationship.
Now, most people will say they don’t have
time or there isn’t anyone to look after the
children etc. Well they are missing the
very important point. If you don’t look
after yourself you can’t look after others -
effectively anyway.
You don’t need to take a week or even a
day off, just allow yourself some time to
do something for you - take a bath, take a
stroll together, share a glass of wine, read
a chapter of a book… you get the idea.
Parenting is stressful and when an autistic
child is in the mix it is even more so. It is
important to keep moral up to stay
motivated.
This also applies for the rest of the family.
You should remember to acknowledge
that each member of the family
contributes to the family dynamic.
Remember to be appreciative of whatever
role each member takes and their
achievements.
Sometimes, you may occasionally want to
go somewhere or do an activity with the
rest of the family without your autistic
child. This is not something to feel guilty
about; you need to think about your other
children and what their needs may be.
They will sometimes need some ‘timeout’
Autism: Effects on Children and Their
Parents
Every parent’s worst nightmare is finding
out that their child is not developing
properly. Physical birth defects are scary
to begin with but there are concrete ways
of dealing with those problems, from
medication and surgery to therapy and
routine medical exams. However, with a
silent disorder like autism, most children
are unable to communicate their
frustrations and the worries of the parents
pile on more than ever. A new study finds
that older autistic children continue to be
lagging behind socially and their parents
continue to worry.
Autism is a brain disorder that affects the
development of a child’s communication
skills. Starting in the first year of life,
infants can start to show patterns of
impaired interactions with others
characterized by restricted behavior or
repetitive motions (lining or stacking
things over and over is a common trigger
sign).
Within the first three years autism is often
diagnosed, these young children can be
offered early-stage cognitive therapy or
behavioral skill testing in order to teach
new patterns and ways of thinking.
However, there is still no cure for autism,
from “autism” and just enjoy their parents
company, without worrying about what
their sibling may do. Also, it’s important
for parents to have some time to
themselves, enjoy an evening out, a meal
at a nice restaurant every now and again.
nor is there a specific cause to report.
Researchers have been looking into the
possibility of children’s vaccine
inoculations being the problem, as well as
a genetic link, but science has not been
able to prove either yet.
A common belief is that in the United
States one in every 150 children born has
autism. As teenagers, autistic children are
far less likely to indulge in such freedoms
as their own bank account or a cell phone.
Beyond the frustrations of not having the
normal capabilities of speech as an infant
and young child, those frustrated kids
often grow up to be even more frustrated
adults.
Most adults who grow up with autism do
not obtain the necessary communication
requirements to successfully meet daily
social needs and delayed responses,
differences in speech, unnatural gestures
integrated with undistinguishable babbling
and indirect eye contact make it hard for
adults with this condition to get or keep a
job, make friends or acquaintances, and
maintain a healthy dating life.
The new study, conducted by Easter Seals
—a premier outreach company that
provides education, multiple services, and
advocacy for autistic people and their
families to help them survive everyday life
—and funded by MassMutual Financial
Group, was released Tuesday.
The report found that over 80 percent of
autistic adults between the ages of 19 and
30 are still living at home. Of those
parents, 52 percent say their finances are
strained and 75 percent of parents with
autistic kids worry about their kids not
having a job or not being able to live on
the money the parents have provided for
the future after their demise. In the study
involving 1,652 parents of children and
adults with autism (until age 30)
compared to 917 parents of regularly
developing children, only 13 percent of
the parents of “normal” children think
their kids have drained their financial
resources and a mere 18 percent worry
about their kid’s financial future after they
die.
A child of autism is considered “special
needs” but is not necessarily as readily
accepted or noticed within society as
someone in a wheelchair because autism
cannot be “seen” right away. The parents
say the financial stress comes from taking
time out of work to carpool their child
back and forth to needed therapy or from
quitting their job altogether in order to
care for their child’s needs full time. Most
therapy for autism isn’t covered by
insurance and many families are at a loss.
The Easter Seals' national director of
autism services, Patricia Wright, feels that
autism is significantly different than other
disabilities because of the added parental
stress, which is why their study Living
With Autism is a great example, “…every
time we look at autism versus other
disabilities, the disparity is greater,”
Wright continues that the social disability
is the hardest to work with right now,
“Having a colleague that would never look
me in the eye?” she asks, “Our society is
not as accommodating.”
Wright thinks the answer is just to say
“Yes.” She urges parents who are down on
their luck and hope to look to the future
and get through each daily routine without
struggle by affirming the possibility of
their child getting a job or surviving on
their own. Baby steps are the answer to
overcoming the small glitches that come
along with autism’s many developmental
problems. Beyond the baby steps, Easter
Seals also announced this week that
workshops are being formulated to start in
January of 2009 throughout the United
States for parents to learn how to help
their children get a job they can keep in
order to achieve a better quality of life for
both worried parents and their autistic
children.
Autism vs Sibling Rivalry
There's always tension between siblings,
but when one child has a mental or
physical developmental disorder, this
sibling rivalry can become even more
pronounced. As a parent, dealing with
disorders can be stressful enough without
worrying about having to balance your
time between two or more children. A
number of things can be done to improve
relationships between brothers and sisters
when one or more child suffers from
autism, but remember that children of all
ages will quarrel, so time apart is
important too.
First and foremost, it is important to
educate your children about autism.
Starting from a young age, your children
who are not diagnosed with the disease
should learn that their brother or sister
has a different understanding of the world.
This is especially important because when
you and your spouse pass away, your
other children will most likely have power-
of-attorney over their autistic siblings,
even if they do not have direct
responsibility for them on a day to day
basis. It may be beneficial to explain this
to them as they mature, but even as a
child, the sense of responsibility for a
sibling who needs help can create more
understanding. Get you child involved with
taking care of your autistic child by
learning fun educational games to play
together or helping with everyday tasks
such as dressing and eating.
However, remember that your non-autistic
child needs plenty of care and attention as
well. Plan family outing which all of your
children can enjoy, but also treat your
non-autistic children to other events as
well. They may feel resentful because they
cannot do all of the things with their
family that a typical child and his or her
family can do, so try to counteract this
with other events. For example, perhaps
your family cannot travel to the beach
because your autistic child can't handle
the stress of the sand, water, and crowds.
Instead, plan a family trip to a less-
crowded lake destination or, if you live
close enough, plan a day trip to the beach
while your autistic child visits with
grandma or does another activity.

Remember that your non-autistic children

need attention at other points in the day,
not just every once in awhile for special
events. Schedule some time every day to
provide these children with your undivided
attention. Think of this kind of sibling
rivalry as similar to the rivalry that occurs
when a new child is born. Although the
new baby needs your attention the most,
you cannot ignore your other children. The
same is true when you have an autistic
child.

Lastly, take advantage of programs and

organizations aimed at helping families
through difficult situations. Many groups
are formed specifically for siblings of
autistic children to help them cope with
the stress that this causes in their lives. If
your child does not enjoy these groups, do
not force him or her to go, but usually
these meetings are fun and inspiring.

Consider joining a family counselling

group. This not only helps parents deal
with the stress of raising an autistic child,
but also helps children, both autistic and
non-autistic, learn to interact peacefully
with one another. When there is a level of
understanding between children and
between a child and his or her parents,
the family can work together to help their
autistic member, as well as help one
another be successful in life.